GUYS! I'm 14 reviews away from having this be my most reviewed story! So please, please, please even if you haven't reviewed a single chapter review this one! Even if it's to say it's terrible! I mean maybe don't say TERRIBLE, but you can tell me you don't like it! But AHH I'm so excited!

Sorry this is later! I got distracted by the one shot I posted the other day, and today my mom dragged me to a baby shower. And then I got home and didn't feel good! So this is literally the soonest I could post it!

Speaking of one shots, since most of you that reviewed that story also read this one, thanks for the incredible response! I was worried it wouldn't be all that liked because season 3 was awhile ago! But apparently not! Thank you!

One more chapter! Prepare yourselves! It'll be an epilogue with a time jump and a surprise!

Review and let me know what you think!

Chapter 24

The day that she brought Hailey home it was thunder storming. It was like some kind of cosmic joke. Whatever higher power that was up there controlling the weather was clearing having a laugh on her misfortune.

But she wasn't going to let it effect her this time. She was going to take her daughter home and nothing bad was going to happen. Besides, hadn't she used up her lifetime allotment of life ruining tragedy already?

Even so, as Caleb pulled up in front of her apartment building she couldn't stop the relieved sigh from slipping through her lips. They were okay.

"See! Maybe your freaky bad storm mojo has finally worn off," Caleb laughed, sounding for all the world like Hanna. They were clearly spending too much time together. Without waiting for a response he hopped out of the car and began to load up with all the bags that were in the backseat, leaving only Hailey for Spencer.

Spencer carefully unbuckled her car seat and lifted it into her arms. "Welcome home, Hailey," she murmured as they walked into the building and waited for the elevator. They were both carrying too much to make the stairs an option.

She tore her eyes off of her daughter to look at Caleb. "Where are Em and Hanna?" She had asked the same question in the hospital, but a nurse walked in before Caleb could answer. But now she was truly curious. It wasn't like her best friends to miss something like this.

"Shopping or something," he waved his free hand dismissively. "I don't even know. Girly things."

"Really," she replied slowly. He was lying, which was confusing. But whatever.

"Yeah!" His voice getting more and more earnest as though to try and convince her. "They said something about getting their nails done because they know you hate it and wouldn't want to go with them."

She had known Caleb for as long as she had known Emily and Hanna, so she was 100% positive that he was lying. But the fact that he knew how much she hated getting her nails done was kind of cute. He clearly spent way too much time with them.

As much as she wanted to question Caleb further, she knew him as well as he knew her. And she knew that when he wanted to keep something a secret he was a steel trap. She wouldn't be getting anything out of him. She sat Hailey's car seat on the ground while she fumbled with her keys, carefully unlocking her apartment door.

For awhile she considered moving. Toby's ghosts were around every corner. Where he fell and busted his head open, where they spontaneously began to slow dance when their song came on her favorite Pandora station, the chipped paint from the spot that he and Caleb hit with a baseball bat when they were playing some stupid, made-up game in the apartment... But as time passed, as months instead of weeks separated her from the time that Toby was alive, she began to look at the tangible evidence of his presence as a gift rather than a source of pain. He was here. He lived here, he cried here, he loved here, and he died here. No where else would she be able to feel her husband's presence like she could in her apartment.

She swung the door open, expecting to find an empty apartment. What she didn't expect to see where her best friends cooking together in her kitchen.

"Shit, Em!" Hanna cursed as she turned to check out the source of the noise. "We've been busted!"

Emily turned and tossed Spencer an apologetic smile. "We thought we might be more useful here, so we sent Caleb to fetch you! He was supposed to call..." she trailed off in fake annoyance.

He chuckled and held his hands up in surrender. "I was distracted by the most attractive lady in the room," he gestured to Hailey, "and it slipped my mind."

Hanna put down the spoon and swept Hailey up from her car seat. She was pretty sure that if she didn't watch out her friends might try to kidnap her daughter. Hanna twirled her around once and perched on the edge of the couch. "Usually that might offend me, but you're right! She's the most adorable girl in the whole entire world!"

"Not that I don't appreciate the food, but-" Spencer began, but Emily immediately cut her off.

"Oh we didn't ditch the hospital for the food. We just had some spare time." She gave Hanna a conspiratorial grin.

"We've been very sneaky," Hanna laughed. "Come and see." She immediately rose to her feet and ducked into the hallway.

Spencer followed after Hanna in confusion. What could they possibly have to show her back here? But she immediately understood as she walked into the nursery. She couldn't hold back a soft gasp as she took in the decor. She had the best friends in the world. She ran her fingers along the light purple walls.

"Hanna wanted to paint it pink, but I convinced her that you'd probably have your daughter sleep in a dresser drawer than succumb to gender stereotypes like that," Caleb laughed. And he was right.

But the piece that caught her attention was the obviously hand made crib in the right corner. "What-"

She felt Emily's soft hand on her shoulder as she explained. "None of us could understand why you weren't getting the nursery together until Caleb realized that it was probably because you wished that Toby was there to build the crib. And we know this isn't exactly the same, but we contacted one of the guys that Toby used to work with, and he was happy to help. If you hate it we bought a backup, but-"

This time Spencer cut Emily off, barely able to keep the tears at bay. "It's perfect. Perfect."

Hanna looked at her for a long moment before passing Hailey to Emily and wrapping her arms around Spencer. "See! I told you guys she would like it! And so would Toby!"

Toby. She- she needed to introduce Hailey to him, but that involved doing something that she had put off for months; something that she still wasn't sure that she was ready for. But for Toby, and for Hailey, she would try. "C-can you guys hold down the fort for awhile? I need to go somewhere." They would. She had trusted them with much more important things.

"Of course," Hanna said without hesitation, "but are you okay to drive?"

She nodded. No medication, no pain, she would be fine. "I'll be back soon." She took Hailey from Emily and returned her to her car seat before sliding out the door.

"Are you sure you want to spend the day here?" Spencer asked Caleb and Hanna quietly, so that Toby didn't overhear. While she certainly appreciated the company, the hospital was not exactly a fun way to spend your Saturday.

"Only duh," Hanna laughed, speaking much louder. She pushed past Spencer and perched on the end of Toby's bed. "I know you won't want to believe it, Spence, but Toby and I have a long standing love affair. And as the mistress, I have to keep vigil by his bedside."

Spencer laughed softly, remembering listening to the same conversation between Caleb and Toby a few months ago. "I mean, I'd like to keep him if that's alright. Breaking in a new husband is probably more difficult than it's worth."

"Yeah, sorry Hanna," Toby's weak voice chimed in from the hospital bed. "It's been fun and all, but I think I'm going to stick with Spencer."

"Always a bridesmaid, never a bride," Hanna sighed in faux-sadness.

"What does that even mean?" Toby laughed. His laughter quickly turned into a hacking cough.

Spencer, without even thinking twice about it, pulled herself up from her chair and brought his glass of water to his lips. She was so used to taking care of him that it was now second nature. She ran her fingers through his hair as he drank his fill. "All good?" She asked as he leaned back against his pillows.

"All good," he rasped out. His voice didn't sound all good, but she let it go. There were worse problems to worry about. A dry throat wouldn't kill him, but it might help keep some of his pride intact.

She looked at him for another moment, brushing his hair out of his eyes. When she was sure that he was okay she bent forward and brushed a soft kiss to his forehead. "Love you," she murmured.

"I love you too," he whispered in a voice that was meant for only her.

"Okay, great now that you two got all the disgusting out of the way, let's do something fun!" Hanna said in a voice that was half excitable and half disgusted.

"For someone who partakes in an awful lot of public displays of affection, you really aren't a fan of it," Spencer laughed and returned to her chair next to Caleb. "What do you have in mind?"

"Wanna watch a movie?" It was almost refreshing to have someone with so much energy around. Spencer was exhausted. Her sleep schedule was out of whack, because she preferred to be awake. What if Toby needed something in the middle of the night? And Toby's treatments were taking a toll on his body and his energy. Hanna and Caleb were like a breath of fresh air.

"A movie could be good," Toby said softly.

"It's decided then," Caleb spoke for the first time. He launched himself up from his seat and made his way over to Toby with what looked like a heavy bag. "You ladies talk about ponies and cupcakes for a second. The men are going to pick out the movie."

Spencer couldn't help but bark out a laugh because if literally anyone else in the world talked to her like that she'd smack them upside the head with a feminist playbook. But with Caleb she knew he was kidding. It was one of the perks of having known someone your entire life.

Hanna rolled her eyes and stood up. She walked over to Spencer and sat beside her. "Spence, you look like shit."

She laughed again. Her friends needed to come around more often. "Thanks, Han."

"I'm serious! You need a shower and a coffee IV. You know that we can stay with him if you want to get some rest."

"I know, but I don't- I can't leave him," she replied, hating how vulnerable she sounded. "What if he-" She cut herself off, not able to continue.

But Hanna knew where she was going with it. "I get that, Spence, I really do. But if you stay here like this he's only going to worry about you when he needs to be focusing on himself."

She opened her mouth to respond but immediately closed it again. She hadn't thought about it that way, but Hanna was right. All the lingering stares and concerned looks that Toby had thrown her over the past few weeks came rushing back to her with a vengeance. She was right. "If I go-"

"We'll stay right here the entire time, I swear," Hanna said seriously. "We'll entertain him, and we'll make sure that he has everything he needs. You go take care of yourself for a little while."

She nodded reluctantly. A quick Starbucks run and a shower... what could possibly happen in such a short time? She pulled herself to her feet and walked over to Toby, effectively interrupting man time. "Hey, I think- I think I'm going to run home for a little bit. Just maybe an hour or so. Hanna said they'd stay while I was gone. Will- will you be alright?"

The relief on his face was basically the most adorable thing she had seen in recent memory. Hanna was right. "Yeah. Yeah, of course. Take all the time you need, Spence."

"Do you need anything?" She brushed his hair back and pressed her lips to his forehead, lingering for a moment longer than usual.

"Maybe grab me a few more books? I think I've read everything here twice."

"You got it," she gave him a shaky smile, and without another word she turned and walked out the door. This was hard, but she knew that it was right.

Pulling through the ominous iron gates of the cemetery was bringing back memories that she didn't especially want to feel. She hadn't been back here since Toby's funeral. Flashes of his cold body and the coffin being lowered into the ground were dancing through her mind. But she was stronger now. She forced herself to push them down. This was about Toby and Hailey, not her.

She couldn't help but smile at her daughter's quiet gurgling in the backseat. Maybe she really did get more of Toby's genes, because Lord knows that she wasn't a quiet baby. Her mother was still fond of regaling guests with tales of Spencer wailing through the night. Once the arrived at the appropriate grave she slid out of the car and grabbed Hailey's car seat. "Are you ready to meet your daddy, Hailey? He was pretty great. The greatest, actually."

She kept her eyes on her daughter as she approached the grave stone, the motions reminding her for all the world of a past memory.

"I can't do this."

"You can do this," she whispered, gently intertwining her fingers with his. "It'll be hard, maybe the hardest thing you've ever done. But your mom deserves this, don't you think?"

His hand tightened around hers in a vice grip; not so hard that it hurt, but hard enough that he was making the necessity of her presence known. "Come with me?"

She hesitated. "I- I will if you need me, but are you sure that you don't want to do this on your own?"

He shook his head firmly. "I can't do it on my own."

She chewed on her bottom lip, determined to be strong enough for the both of them. She momentarily let go of his hand and came around to his side of the truck. She took both of his hands in hers and led him out of the vehicle and to his mom's gravestone.

Toby just stared at it for a minute before releasing her hands and dropping to his knees on the soft grass in front of the shaped stone. "I'm sorry mom."

She slowly lowered herself to the grass behind him. She was far enough away that they weren't touching, but close enough that he would be able to reach back and find her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I should have come sooner, but-" He cut off and reached back for her, but before he could even make contact she was by his side. She grasped his hand with one of hers and used the other to carefully run her fingers down the bumps of his spine.

To her alarm she took in the rapid reddening of his eyes and increased the pressure on his back. "Let it out, baby. Just let it out."

She didn't know how long she sat there with Toby, but what she did know was that there wasn't a thing in the world that she wouldn't do for him.

As she reached his grave the tears were already flowing. There was nothing that she could do about it. It was time, whether she liked it or not. She sat her happy, gurgling daughter down and approached the gravestone. She would talk to him on her own first. "Hey baby," she murmured through the tears.

She sat down in front of the marker and rested her head against the cool stone. She couldn't hug him, but this was kind of close. "I- I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. It was just too hard. I know you wouldn't be mad at me, but I'm sorry all the same. Because you didn't deserve to be out here all alone. I know Han, Em, and Caleb have been to visit you." She glanced down at the flowers at the base of the grave. "It looks like other people have been here too. But I should have come sooner."

She sat up straight and wiped away the tears just so they could be replaced by more. "Just when I think that I can't love you more you prove me wrong. With every single breath I take I love you more and more and more. I love you so much that it hurts. My heart feels like it's on fire. You face, your eyes, your laugh, your flaws... I love every single part of you, Toby Cavanaugh."

"And I owe you a thank you. Because if you hadn't had the foresight to write those letters, if you hadn't known me as well as you had, I just- I have no idea where I'd be. Once again you saved me. You're so good at it that you're doing it from beyond the grave. But the reminder that you loved me? That you didn't want to go? That's the only thing that kept me going." She was glad that she was talking to a tombstone, because at this point her words were unintelligible. "And the voice recordings? I n-never thought that I'd hear your voice again. I never thought I'd get any new words from you. God, Toby how did you know that was exactly what I needed? How did you know?"

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you more than anything in the world. And I can promise you that will never change. I don't care who I meet, where I go, or what I do. You were it for me, Toby. You were the love of my life, of my existence. There's no one else out there for me. And that shouldn't be a sad thing. I got 10 wonderful, blissful years with you; I got to spend a huge chunk of my life with someone who loved me unconditionally. People wait their entire lives for a love that we shared, and we were lucky enough to find it so young. I love you Toby."

She glanced back and pulled Hailey closer to her. She lifted her carefully out of the car seat and turned back to the gravestone. "The real reason I came here was this. I wanted to introduce you to our daughter, Hailey Elise Cavanaugh. She's beautiful, right? And she looks like a perfect cross between the two of us. But she has your eyes, thank God. I was so terrified of forgetting what your eyes looked like, but now I never will. And she may look like the both of us, but in the few days that I've known her I've been struck by just how much like you she is. It's like you left me with a little piece of you, and I've never been more grateful for something in my entire life."

She pulled Hailey closer and brushed her hand over the top of the stone again. "I promise you that she'll know who you are. She'll know about her brilliant, handsome, amazing daddy who was so selfless, gentle, and kind. She'll know who you are. I'll love you forever, baby. Don't forget it. And I'll be back soon, I promise."