Okay guys, this is it! The last chapter! I hope you love it! And I don't care if you're reading this now or a year from now, your support and reviews (hint hint) mean the world to me!

Speaking of reviews, the last chapter got FIFTEEN! So this story is officially my most reviewed! YOU'RE THE BEST!

Be looking for my next story in the next couple days! As soon as the first chapter is done I'll post it because I have no self control! It's another tragic love story, lol. Spoby version of the Vow. And when I say that I mean LOOSELY. Like the general plot is the same. And by general plot I mean something I could describe in a sentence.

Epilogue

It was a funny thing, time. Sometimes it acted like a thief, stealing your youth and moments of your past. Yet other times it was a healer. Wasn't that what they said; that time would heal all wounds? Time passed no matter the circumstances. Good or bad, the minute hand continued to spin unrelentingly around the clock.

It was funny how shortly after Toby's passing a year seemed to last an eternity. Getting through a single day, let alone a month or a year, was an infinite struggle. But it was easier as time went on. The things that were painful slowly transformed into gifts. Memories became joys. Life slowly became good again, and that was mostly due to her daughter.

"Mom!"

Spencer looked up from her tablet to smile at said daughter as she stumbled into the living room of the apartment that they still lived in. It may have been morbid, but Spencer could never bring herself to sell it. "Happy Birthday, honey. Do you want some breakfast?"

Hailey wrinkled up her nose. Her daughter was an open book, and she could see the refusal on her tongue. But the girl had known her for 100% of her 16 year long life. She had to realize that the question was a formality. She was eating breakfast. Hailey nodded reluctantly, and Spencer pulled herself up from the couch in satisfaction. "I know Aunt Hanna has you on some anti-carb kick, but it's your birthday. It's the one day a year the calories don't count, and I'm craving pancakes."

Hailey smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Can we put chocolate chips in them?"

Only a small spasm of pain shot through her chest at the thought of chocolate chip pancakes. The time of debilitating grief was long past. "Of course. Did I ever tell you that your dad used to make these for me when I was sick?"

"He did?" She smiled and sat at one of the bar stools while her mom cooked. "Was dad a good cook?"

"He-" she chuckled, unable to stop the goofy smile from spreading across her face. "He was better at some things than others."

She blinked her eyes open, confused by what woke her up. During the week she was up with the sun. There was never enough time to get her homework done or to get in a quick workout. But on the weekends she slept like the dead. It was a college student's prerogative; even when it was winter break and she was staying with her boyfriend.

She reached out for Toby, confused why they weren't tangled up together like they usually were. She noticed his absence and the charred smell coming from the kitchen at the same time. Oh God, he was trying to cook.

Toby could cook some things wonderfully. He made a mean grilled cheese, and his chocolate chip pancakes were to die for. But that was about it. She hauled herself out of bed and hastily made her way toward the kitchen to see if she could salvage any of the food. "Toby," she laughed as she caught sight of his back bent over the stove. "What did you do?"

He turned to her, obviously trying to hide the mess on the stove. "Um nothing."

"So did you buy a burnt food scented air freshener?" She laughed again and grabbed his hands, tugging on them. When he wouldn't move she laughed again and wrapped her arms around his waist. He was an adorable idiot. Affection was very guilt trip inducing when it came to Toby. "Good morning, by the way."

"I might have burnt some food," he muttered into her hair, returning her hug. "But you can't laugh."

When he acted so outrageously adorable she found it difficult to keep her giggles at bay, but for him she would try her best. She nodded against his chest, and he moved out of the way so that she could see. When she peered into the pot and saw the burnt, congealed mess at the bottom of the pan she had to bite her tongue to stop from laughing. "What was this supposed to be?"

"Spaghetti," he mumbled. He was embarrassed and she wasn't having that.

She looked at her watch and noting the time looked back up at him. "Pizza?"

He smiled a little bit. "Pizza."

"I wish I got to meet him," Hailey laughed at the story. "He seemed fun."

"He was the best," Spencer replied firmly. "But nothing sad on your birthday. We'll go visit him tomorrow. What time are your friends coming over?" Her daughter had inherited her and Toby's shared dislike for massive social events. Instead she opted for a low key birthday sleepover with her closest friends. That was definitely Spencer's kind of Sweet 16 as well.

"6ish," she muttered distractedly as she scrolled through her phone.

Toby might have made awesome chocolate chip pancakes, but Spencer had watched him enough to get the gist. She slid a plate in front of Hailey and grabbed an apple for herself.

Hailey eyed her suspiciously. "Why do I have to eat a plate full of carbs, albeit delicious carbs, while you get a healthy apple?"

"It's not my birthday, I'm not 16, and the carbs will go right to my hips," she chuckled. "But nice use of albeit. Gold star vocab for you."

"Pretty sure I remember vocabulary and multiplication flashcards before preschool mom," she laughed. "Blame yourself for my nerdy tendencies."

"Oh I'll have you in the decathalon yet," she quipped. "It's the Hastings coming out in you, finally. Just when I thought you were all your father."

Hailey opened her mouth to respond but was distracted by a loud rapping on the door. She turned to Spencer questioningly who smiled in response. "I'm sure it's Em and Hanna, if you want to get it."

Hailey squealed and left the table, and her pancakes, behind. Her daughter had taken to her friends immediately, especially Hanna. But who could blame her? Her friends were pretty great. Especially when they were spoiling the crap out of her. Half of the clothes in Hailey's closet were purchased by Hanna. And Emily spent ample time with her too.

"Happy Birthday!" She heard Hanna squeal, equally excited as Hailey. Hanna was well into her 40s, but she still acted like an excitable teenager.

"Where's Uncle Caleb?" Hailey asked in confusion. It was a mark of just how often her friends were around that Caleb's absence confused her daughter.

"He wanted to give us girl time at first. He'll be by in a little bit with McKenzie."

Spencer couldn't stop her smile as Hailey squealed again. And she didn't blame her. Hanna and Caleb's 3 year old daughter was pretty adorable.

Emily sat down next to Spencer, and the latter could practically feel the waves of nervous energy radiating off of her. "What's up, Em?"

"I have something to tell you, and I'm pretty sure you're going to be pissed at me when I do," she said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" She asked apprehensively. This was not a good sign of things to come.

"Can we go in your room? I don't want Hailey to see me cower from her angry mother," Emily said half jokingly.

What the hell had she done? Spencer couldn't imagine getting that angry at her best friend, but she shrugged and stood up, leading the way into the bedroom. She shut the door behind them and turned to Emily expectantly. "What's up, Em?"

"Okay, okay," she muttered, trying to work herself up to saying what she needed to say. "When Hailey was born- when I gave you that letter-" She cut herself off and chewed on her lip. "I don't know how to say this."

"Just say it," Spencer said softly, the reminder of the letters turning her introspective. How perfect had her husband been?

"I- Okay, I told you it was the last one, but I lied. There's one more." She slid a faded, white envelope out of her back pocket and reached out to hand it to Spencer. "He- Toby told me to hold off on this one. To make sure that you weren't expecting it, and to give it to you when it had been long enough that the pain was less consuming. There have been so many times over the past few years that I wanted to give it to you, but this just feels right."

Spencer's mind went blank, completely blank, as she stared at the envelope. Another letter?

"Spence, are you okay?" Emily's hand was heavy on her arm, and all she could manage to do was nod silently. She was fine. She was just in shock.

Emily nodded in understanding, and slid the envelope into Spencer's slackened hand. "I'll leave you alone to read it."

Spencer grabbed Emily's arm to stop her from leaving. "No, wait. I- I'm going to run by the cemetery. Can you make sure Hailey's alright while I'm gone?"

"Watch your awesome daughter on her birthday? What a hardship!" Emily laughed. Spencer could read her like a book, and she was obviously relieved that she wasn't more angry with her. But with a letter from Toby in her hand how could she be mad at anyone?

She nodded wordlessly and walked back down the long hallway and into the living room. "Hailey?" She waited until the younger girl tore herself away from her conversation with Hanna to look at her. "I- um I need to run somewhere really fast. Will you be okay with Hanna and Emily for a little bit?"

"Yeah, but are you alright?" She looked her mother up and down. "Where are you going?"

"Don't worry about it Hailey," Emily began, but Spencer shook her head. It was about time her daughter learned what her father had done for her.

"Can you tell her, Em? If I do she'll only be getting one side of the story. You were there for it all."

Emily nodded, and as she began to talk Spencer tuned her out. She clutched the letter to her chest, waiting to be alone with Toby before she opened it.

"Will you dance with me, Mrs. Cavanaugh?"

She giggled at his dorky question. "Of course, husband. It would be quite rude of us to refuse to dance at our own wedding." She laughed again as he pulled her to her feet with an outrageously adorable grin on his face.

"Agreed." And suddenly his hands found her waist. She squealed, the little bit of alcohol that she had consumed already getting to her, and fell into Toby's solid chest.

He laughed and changed tactics leaving one hand on her waist and gravitating the other to the base of her neck. "Are you okay?"

"Yes! I'm perfect!" She tucked her face into Toby's neck as he gently swayed them back and forth. Spencer was great at a lot of things, but intoxicated coordination was not one of those things. "Toby," she muttered. "I have something to say!"

She felt his body vibrate as he laughed. "What's that?" Her hair moved as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. He wasn't usually so physical in public, and she was finding that she liked it. Although that might have been the yummy, yummy wine talking.

Spencer kept her face hidden, liking her little hiding spot in Toby's neck. No one would find her there. "I think that I'm a little, tiny bit drunk."

"No!" He gasped and ran his fingers through her hair in a smooth motion. "I never would have guessed," he laughed kissed her temple. "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"Mr. Cavanaugh, are you suggesting that we leave our own wedding reception early?" She giggled, finally looking out from her hiding space.

"I think that everyone would appreciated it," he said in a low, seductive voice. "Because you look absolutely stunning, and I don't think I can keep my hands off of you for another second."

She smiled, loving it when Toby initiated things. "Well, then lead the way."

"You're kidding!" Hailey's voice tore Spencer from the memories of her wedding night. "That's like a fucking romance novel."

"Language," Spencer said softly, but her tone left no room for argument. "But you're right. Your dad was always one for the big romantic gesture."

"So, that's how you got through losing him?" Hailey asked.

"Well that, and I found out I was pregnant with you about a month after he died. It was like he left a little piece of himself with me," she smiled and stood. She was glad she was smiling now, because she was sure she'd be crying as soon as she ripped the letter open. "I need to go to the cemetery. Be good for your aunts, okay?"

Hailey stood up and walked to Spencer, quickly wrapping her arms around her mother. "I love you."

Oh hell, the tears were coming early. She blinked a few times, trying to keep them at bay. She wouldn't cry in front of her daughter. "Love you too."

She rose to her feet and slid out the door without another word. The drive to the cemetery went by more quickly than usual. Which was equally encouraging and frustrating. Every particle in her body was calling out for her to read the letter. But she knew this was truly it. The last words she would ever get from Toby. The last time he would ever encourage her. The last time he would ever tell her that he loved her. How could she get too excited about such a colossal ending?

But time passed even in the midst of her uncertainty and doubt. Her feet carried her to Toby's grave without much help from her mind. And God knows that they should know the path by now. Every week she took Hailey to visit him. They brought food and just spent time with him. Spencer promised Toby that their daughter would know him, and that was a promise that she intended on keeping.

Spencer took her usual seat next to his gravestone, leaning against it like she leaned against his shoulder so many times before. "You beautiful idiot," she muttered her favorite complimentary insult. "You beautiful freaking idiot. You were dying, Toby. It was okay to think of yourself once or twice."

She pulled the letter out of her pocket and hesitated, just staring at it. Was she really ready for this? Was she ready for some a monumental closure? Toby's memory wouldn't die, not for her and not for her daughter. She wouldn't allow it. But this was the end of him playing an active presence in her life. "Oh Toby," she whispered.

She ripped open the envelope and pulled out the letter before she could think too hard about it. She unfolded the paper and took a deep breath as she began to read.

Spencer,

Oh you are probably so pissed at me. And honestly, I can't bring myself to care, because I know this will help more than it hurts. And don't be mad at Em, because if she did this right it should be a nice reminder.

I don't know how long it has been, and I don't know what's going on in your life. But I do know a few things. I know you're still brilliant, baby. You continuously shock me with the level of your intelligence. And it's not just book smarts, although you have plenty of those. It's just this general common sense. Like, you think of things that never even crossed my mind. You're brilliant, baby. And I'm sure that you found a job where you can use that brilliance to change the world. To make the kind of difference that some people only dream of making. I wish I could be there to see it. Just make sure that it's something that you love. You deserve to be happy, sweetheart. You deserve the world.

I know that you've found a way to be happy. I know this because you are strong. You are the strongest person that I know. You can overcome anything, even this. You can do anything. I know that you must have been in pain after I died. Because I know that if I lost you I would have been destroyed, but Spence I've seen you overcome so much; especially when you were taking care of me. And if you're on your way to happy and not quite there yet, what are you waiting for? Be happy, baby.

There isn't a huge purpose in writing this letter, sweetheart. I just wanted to give you another reminder of what you mean to me, what you did for me, and just how much you were loved. After the Jenna Thing I felt dirty. I felt disgusting and unworthy of love. But you reacted perfectly. I didn't need someone to report it. I didn't need someone to kick her ass. I needed someone to show me that I was still worth love, and that I wasn't irreparably damaged. After my mom died you were the only thing that kept me together. And when I got sick? God, Spence when I was sick you were the only reason I was able to hold on so long. In support group I can't tell you the number of people that said their relationships ended when they started to get sick. But that never even crossed your mind, did it? You gave up everything to take care of me, and I'll never be able to express how grateful I am to you. You gave up your money, your time, your energy, and your love to make sure that I lasted as long as possible. I don't think I've ever thanked you enough, so let me try now. Thank you. Thank you.

So this is it. The big goodbye. But I don't think that it's really goodbye. I've said this once, and I'll say it again, we'll be together again. There's no way that a love like we shared ever dies. So hang in there, baby. Hang in there.

I love you more than anything else in the world. I love you more than life itself. I would have done anything for you, Spencer. I would have gone to the ends of the earth to protect you or to make you smile. I love you. I love you.

Toby

Spencer's small smile didn't fade as she folded up her letter and put it back in her pocket. "PS," she murmured, pressing her face to the stone again. "I love you too, baby. Forever."