AN: yeah i dont own captain tsubasa

Chapter 5: Hopes and Dreams

She was in her homeroom, waiting for class to start. She had her head down on her desk. She couldn't sleep last night. She was too nervous knowing that each new day that comes, will be a day closer to his return.

She's been thinking of ways to greet him, when they see each other again, but all of them sounded so fake and forced, she hated every single one of them.

She gave out a defeated sigh and closed her eyes. Maybe this is all just a dream, and tomorrow will be back to normal. No childhood crushes coming back because the next time she'll hear his name was when he won the World Cup for Japan.

"Ah, there she is! Anego!"

She opened her eyes and tried to refrain from groaning in frustration. Why did these boys have to be so loud in the morning?

She raised her head and greeted them, "Hey there, Ishizaki-kun. What's up?"

"Okay, so we went to Oozora-san's yesterday, right?" the boy said to her. She nodded her head.

Ishizaki continued, "We asked her if she was okay about the party, and she agreed!"

She gave him a huge smile. "That's great Ishizaki-kun!"

"Thing is, she wants to ask you if you can bake Tsubasa's favorite cake," Ishizaki asked.

Ah, fudge. How could she say no to Oozora-san?

"She's even willing to pay for it. You guys do orders, so she thought it would be great if Tsubasa's 'friend'," cue air quotes, "made the cake for him."

Sanae gave a weird look towards Ishizaki. "What was that for?"

"What?" Ishizaki asked back innocently.

"Don't be coy with me Ishizaki-kun," she glared at him as she crossed her arms. "You know what I mean."

"Well, if I'm asking then I clearly don't know what you mean," he answered cheekily.

"Ishizaki," she hissed.

That stopped his teasing. He knew what would happen if he continued and that tone appeared.

"Alright, alright," he placated. "Geez, can't you just take a joke."

"I can, but your jokes are stupid."

"They're not stupid!" he defended.

"They are," she retorted frankly. "And before you try and prove me wrong, we were in a conversation remember."

"Fine, you win," he grumbled. "But anyway. We all know how much Oozora-san adores you. There's no hiding that she hopes you and Tsubasa get together. Hell, I'm even sure she wants you to be the daughter-in-law."

Her cheeks flared up to a light shade of pink.

"She does not think that!" she denied vehemently.

"Even everyone hopes you get married, just accept it."

But that didn't mean he does, she thought to herself.

"Well, tough luck," she told him. "He might already have a girlfriend in Brazil, so kiss those dreams goodbye."

It's better not to hope, unless you're fine with being disappointed.

"I'll see what I can do with the cake," she said. "I'm sure we can make it. Just tell me when you need it and I'll bring it. I'll make three for each one of them."

"Awesome!" Ishizaki blurted out. "I'll tell everyone about this later. Thanks for this."

The bell rang to let the students know that homeroom would be starting soon.

"Aw, crap!" he swore. "You should drop by Oozora-san's and tell her about this. Daichi misses his favorite babysitter and was looking for you."

"I'll try," she shrugged. "No promises though. You better get going before they make you tardy."

"I will, I will," he said. "Anego?"

"Hmm?"

"Tsubasa would be really stupid if he let you pass."

She was surprised by his serious tone. He was rarely like that. Her face softened at his show of concern.

"Like he would ever go out without someone like me," she laughed. "Just go to class, Ishizaki-kun."

Ishizaki frowned with how she just waved him off, but didn't say anything about it.

"Well, ja ne Anego!"

He ran away towards the door and to his room.

When he was gone, only then did the frown show on her face.

He would never want someone like her. He deserved someone better.

They were practicing hard that day, her lungs trying to catch the oxygen she needed. The ball soared over her head and landed directly in front of her. The goal was only a few feet away from her, and she prepared to kick the ball towards. She hit it, but it didn't go into the goal and hit the post instead.

Damn it, she swore. That was the fifth time she missed a goal.

"Are you alright, Sanae-chan?" Chieko-senpai asked her. "It's the fifth time you missed a goal today. Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she said. "Just a lot of stuff in my mind."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, senpai," she assured.

"No, you're not," Akane-buchou's voice chimed in. "You don't miss Nakazawa. The only time you do is when you're troubled."

"It's not that bad," she tried to argue. "I'll get a goal next time!"

This is one of the things that distracts me from thinking about him, please don't let me go home, she pleaded in her mind.

"Go home, Nakazawa," Akane ordered. "I don't know what's eating you, but I don't want you getting hurt because you're not focusing."

"I promi-"

"Go home," Akane repeated. "Captain's orders."

Sanae gave out a defeated sigh. She knew she could never argue against her captain.

"Hai," she answered.

Slowly, she walked away from the field. She heard all her teammates' well wishes and she smiled at them gratefully.

Ayame stopped her for a moment. "We'll talk about this later okay? I'll see you at home."

She nodded her head and proceeded to the clubroom to get her things. She didn't even change out of her uniform and only put on the sweatshirt and pants that Ayame had their team get. Something about how American schools get them for their sport teams.

She figured this would be a good time to visit the Oozora household. She wouldn't be doing anything else anyway. She texted her mom about the cakes and she was more than happy to help her make them, even telling her that they would be free of charge.

Visiting the Oozora's was always something she looked forward to do. They were a pleasant family. Mr. Oozora, if he was there, always welcomed them with a smile. Mrs. Oozara was always glad to have any of them over. She said that they remind her of when Tsubasa used come home with all of them in toe. Daichi, the newest addition after Tsubasa left, was such a happy child and clearly took after his brother. The first time he held a soccer ball, he wouldn't let go of it. Besides, she babysat the three year old, and still do if she's free, and they get along quite fine.

But when they all sit down and reminiscence about their younger years, it kind of makes everyone sad.

It was nice visiting the Ooozora's but then she thought about the empty room that lay untouched upstairs, and it starts to become suffocating.

She arrived at their house and rang the doorbell. She heard a voice coming from the other side of the door and knew that someone was home.

The door opened and revealed the Oozora matriarch.

"Ara, Sanae-chan!" she exclaimed surprised.

"Good afternoon, Oozora-san," she greeted as she waved.

"What a pleasant surprise," she remarked. "Come in, come in." She moved to the side to let her in and called out inside. "Daichi-kun, guess who decided to visit?"

There was a flurry of footsteps heard and out came almost an exact copy of Tsubasa.

"Hey there, squirt," she greeted the little guy whose eyes lit up when they saw her.

"Anee-chan!" he exclaimed and flung himself to her. She caught him in her arms and both of them laughed in joy.

"You decided to come!" Daichi said to her.

"I started to miss my favorite boy so I decided to come and visit," she retorted as she nuzzled his face.

"Stop it Anee-chan that tickles!" he giggled.

"But I missed you," she whined childishly.

"Anee-chan needs to let me go," he lectured. "Then, I can show you my new toy!"

Then she sighed dramatically, playing along. "Fine," she said. "But only because I want to see your new toy." She lowered him on the ground and Daichi latched on her hand, leading her inside the house excitedly.

"Slow down, Daichi-kun," she chuckled. "Let me take my shoes off first."

The boy begrudgingly let her, but repeated told her to hurry up. When she was done, Daichi took her hand again, but didn't run because of the warning from his mother.

"You're early today," Oozara-san said as they walked along the hallway.

"My captain let me off early today," she answered cryptically. Thankfully, the older woman didn't question any further.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked

Sanae gave a nod. "Tea sounds lovely."

"Why don't you come in the kitchen with me, I just boiled some water," she told her then turned to her youngest. "Why don't you get your toy, Daichi-kun? You're onee-chan will stay will Kaa-chan."

"Okay!"

Daichi finally let go of her hand and quickly went to the stairs.

"No running on the stairs," Oozora-san reminded.

"Sorry!"

He was already up by then.

"That boy has too much energy," Oozora-san shook her head. "Sometimes I can't keep up."

Sanae smiled as they both went inside the kitchen. "I guess it's just part of growing up. I remember being as energetic as Daichi-kun."

"I remember Tsubasa being like that as well. He ran everywhere and I could barely run after him," Oozora-san told her. "Make yourself at home Sanae-chan. I'll be with the tea in a minute."

"Take your time, Oozora-san."

She took a seat on one of the chairs surrounding the table. Oozora-san brought two mugs, the smell of tea coming from them. Sanae accepted the mug gratefully and took a small sip from it. The warmth of the liquid quickly spread around her body, making her sigh in contentment.

"I take it that Ishizaki-kun relayed my message to you?" Oozora-san asked as she sat across from her.

Sanae nodded and sat the mug down on the table. "Hai," she answered. "I asked my mom after school today and she said it was fine. You don't have to pay for it. We'll do it for free."

"I can't possibly do that," Oozora-san argued. "I'll pay for it."

Sanae waved her hands. "Don't worry about it! We decided this would be our 'welcome back' gift for him. We even decided to make one for Wakabayshi-kun and Misaki-kun. It's no trouble at all."

Oozora-san gave a small pout, but gave out a defeated sigh. "Alright," she conceded. "You win."

Sanae grinned victoriously as a comfortable silence fell over them. They both took sips from their tea as listened to the ticking of the clock. A few moments later, Oozora-san broke the silence.

"Has it only been three years?" she asked. "It feels like he left more than that. Now he's coming back next Monday."

"You feel like time moves slowly when you're missing someone," Sanae said, looking at her reflection on the tea.

"Daichi's starting to look like him every day, sometimes I catch myself about to call him instead of Daichi," the older woman continued. "But, Tsubasa's finally reached his dream."

Sanae looked up and gave her a puzzled look. Oozora-san chuckled at her confused expression.

"He got a contract with the main team of Sao Paolo FC. He's been playing for their B team since he turned 14. They youngest in history, but now they want him in their main team! They told him if he'll have a position when he reaches 18," she answered.

"That's amazing!" Sanae exclaimed, happy for his accomplishment.

"Isn't it?" Oozora-san agreed. "Roberto managed to convince him to come back and finish high school."

Her heart skipped a beat.

"Oh," she mumbled and looked down again. "I see." She raised her head again, this time showing a smile. "It must be relieving to have him close by again."

"Very," Oozora-san admitted. "Then I don't have to worry whether he washes his laundry, or if he was eating healthily. Honestly, sometimes that boy worries me. You know how he is, Sanae-chan-"

She chuckled fondly as she listened to the older woman rant about her oldest. But, she could see how much Oozora-san loved his son so much. She guessed its part of being a mother, always thinking about your children, even if they're far away.

"When Tsubasa starts school at Nankatsu, can you do me a favor and take care of him for me, Sanae-chan?"

"Huh?" Sanae snapped out of her thoughts, before processing what Oozora-san said. "Of course, Oozora-san! I'll do my best."

The Oozora matriarch smiled teasingly. "Maybe then, Tsubasa finally notices you. But I don't want grandchildren yet okay? I'm still too young for them."

Sanae, who was sipping on her tea, flushed a bright red and started choking. "Oozora-san," she gawped. The older woman could only giggle at her predicament. Sanae looked down towards her hands, her eyes softening and a small frown on her face.

"Am I that easy to read?" she muttered, but clear enough for the woman could hear her.

"I just know you that well, Sanae-chan," Oozora-san answered, bringing the mug to closer to her. "I used to be in your shoes. I can see a girl when she's in love. You're just one of many I've seen." She paused to sip on her tea. "I just hope Tsubasa finally realizes there is more to life than soccer."

Sanae didn't answer for a moment, clearly understanding the hidden message in her statement.

"He doesn't need to be held back by small things like this," she whispered. The Oozora looked at her in concern and was about to say something, but was interrupted by Daichi holding a soccer ball.

"Anee-chan look at my new toy!" Daichi demanded.

Sanae's expression changed in a second, matching the boy's exuberance. "Eh? But that's just a normal soccer ball. I thought your toy would be something bigger."

"Kaa-chan bought it for me yesterday," he exclaimed, ignoring Sanae's statement. "Come on, come on. Let's go play outside!"

Daichi proceeded to drag her out of the kitchen.

"H-hey wait a second, Daichi-kun," she spluttered. She looked back towards the older Oozora. "Thanks for the tea, Oozora-san! Daichi-kun let me get my shoes on. Slow down!"

"Anee-chan hurry up!"

She closed the door to her room silently and proceeded to lay on her bed. The shop wasn't as busy as it was yesterday, and her mom told her to rest, clearly concerned for her wellbeing. Ayame still wasn't home, practice might have ran longer considering they'll be off for a week for the holidays.

She didn't do that much, but she felt exhausted. It must be because of Daichi. That child has too much energy. Every time she looked after him, it always left her tired beyond belief. Add soccer to the equation and he's pretty much a big ball of sunshine.

She got up from her bed, deciding to start doing her homework. She went to her desk carrying her book bag. She got out her Math book and notes, along with her pencil case. She did have a test on the material tomorrow. To remember the formulas, she usually rewrite it on a small notepad at least three times. She was about to get the notepad from her one of her desk's drawers, but realized too late that she opened the wrong one.

She stared at the neatly piled envelopes inside the drawer. They were all unsealed, but it was alright. They weren't going anywhere after all.

She trailed her fingers on the top envelope's surface, before gingerly lifting it off from the pile. She opened it and took out the perfectly folded paper it contained. She unfurled the paper and silently read what she wrote all those years ago.

It was a letter to him, like all the other ones in the drawer. She chuckled at how she wrote when she was young. There was still that tone of boyishness in them, a kind of scrawl that wasn't really elegant, but it wouldn't be considered chicken scratch either.

What made her sad though, was how much happiness and familiarity was on it.

The young her wasn't as scared as she is right now, didn't feel the same insecurities and grim outlook of this crush that evolved into something more, believed in something quite impossible.

Good luck out there Tsubasa-kun! I'll be rooting for you.

The door to her room opened and she quickly dropped the letter back to the drawer, closing it as fast as possible.

Her mother's head peaked in and looked for her.

"Ayame just came home and dinner will be ready soon," her mom announced. Then a small teasing smirk appeared on her face. "What are you hiding?" she inquired.

"Nothing," she answered a little too fast.

"Is it a love letter?" her mother teased.

Does it count? she asked herself.

"Really, Mama. It's nothing," she confirmed. "Just some old papers."

Her mother knew something was wrong and she's not someone easily fooled.

"If something's bothering you, I'm always open," she told her daughter. "I know it's hard for you knowing that he's coming back, but don't keep it all in."

She smiled gratefully at her mother. "I won't," she said.

Her mother smiled back. "Now come out here and help set the table. I'm sure your cousin's starving if she came home this late."

She gave out a laughed and told her mom she'll follow after she fixed some of her stuff.

"Don't take too long," her mother said and walked back towards their kitchen.

She opened the drawer again and took out the letter, scanning it once more. After a few moments of just staring at it, she folded it again and put it inside the envelope. She closed the drawer once more and stood up from her chair, getting out of her room.

When she reached the dining table, everything was already prepared. Ayame and her mother were already sitting around it, ready to eat.

"Mou, Sanae-chan!" Her mom pouted childishly. "You're late. The food is starting to get cold."

"Sorry, sorry," she apologized as she took her seat beside Ayame.

"I'm starving you know," Ayame told her. "Don't deprive me of my one true love. You know how I could be when not fed."

"I said sorry," she repeated. "Sheesh, can't you be a little patient?"

"No."

Sanae sighed, "I tried."

They all clasped their hands and said: "Thank you for the food!" They all then started to dig in.

Conversations over dinner consisted of how school was today, was the shop busier than usual, a little bit of town gossip, soccer news, and other mundane topics. Her mother decided to spice things up that night.

"Your grandfather called this afternoon," she informed the two girls.

"Really?" Sanae asked. "What did he say?"

"He wants us to be over at the Manor for Golden Week," her mother said. "He said he wanted to see his children and grandchildren this Children's Day."

Their grandfather, who was an owner of a chain of high class hotels and resorts all over Japan, could rarely spend his time with his family because of his busy schedule. It's no surprise that he wanted to see them on the longest holiday for Japan. Though circumstances often got in the way of family bonding.

"But I told him we might pass this year," her mother said. "I told him how you have some friends coming back from abroad and you wouldn't want to miss the party you guys are throwing for them."

Sanae's grip on her chopsticks tightened. This was it. This was her chance to miss that party. Her cowardly excuse to not see him right away.

"It's fine," she said. "We'll go. We rarely see Oji-san as it is. I don't want to hurt his feelings."

Ayame's stare was boring into her, accusing her of how much of a coward she is.

"But Tsubasa-kun's homeco-" her mother tried to argue.

"Tsubasa-kun can see me some other time," she countered. "He'll be enrolling at Nankatsu High. He'll see me in school. Besides," she smiled a little too forcefully, "I don't think he'd even notice I'm not there."

Then before they could even retort, she continued. "We can make the cakes the day before and deliver them to Oozora-san the day we leave."

Her mother's lips grew into a thin line, something that signified she's not happy with her. Ayame went back to eating, though without her usual chatter.

"Fine," her mother conceded. "But, you're the one going to explain to Oozora-san and you're boys why you're not going to be there." Then she proceeded back to eating.

Dinner ended in silence that night.

She was in the middle of watching Ponyo*, her favorite movie, when someone knocked on her door. She called for the person to come in without pausing the movie. She already knew who it was.

"You found your excuse," she heard Ayame's voice amidst the movie's volume. By this time, she knew she wasn't watching anymore. "You don't have to go the party."

"I guess I have," she said, not taking her eyes of off the TV screen.

"You're boys would complain about this," Ayame added as she sat beside her on the bed.

"That's why I not telling anyone but Oozora-san," she replied.

"They'll be looking for you."

"I know," she responded.

"They'll be angry at you."

"I'll bake them cookies as an apology."

"That's not enough."

"I know."

There was silence between them as the movie continued to show Ponyo and Sousuke's story, ignorant of the mood between the two cousins.

"What's so bad about meeting him again after three years?" Ayame asked, frustrated by her cousin's stubbornness and cowardliness,

This time, Sanae finally looked at her.

"Because I'm a selfish idiot."

End Chapter

*Ponyo is a movie made by Studio Ghibli about a goldfish who met a human boy and her quest to be human

AN: I think that almost everyone but Tsubasa knew that Sanae was in love with him. I mean we all knew even when they were in elementary. Maybe because Tsubasa was too focused on soccer to think of anything else. That's also the reason why I think Sanae never told Tsubasa her feelings for him until Tsubasa was the first one to confess (I absolutely adored that scene. Tsubasa would resign the soccer club just to fight for her. But i think it was kinda sudden on Tsubasa's part because we never actually see him interact with Sanae, except for a few scenes, I don't know. Maybe it's just me). Anyway, Sanae is still in her pity party that hopefully would not last long. It's even affecting her boys, which is totally unfair because they don't need to be dragged into this when they're already rooting for them.

Well I guess I should just continue writing to see how this works out. Thanks for reading and drop a review if you want (very much appreciated).