Author's Note: Alright, new chapter! The Viking shenanigans continues!

CHAPTER 4 – The Vikings That Cried Wolf

...~...

"This is crazy! Do you know what will happen if it fails?" Fishlegs said nervously.

"Ssshhhh, babe, don't curse it!" Ruffnut put a finger on his lips with a sly smile and Fishlegs immediately went red.

"Come on!" a grinning Tuffnut went to Fishleg's side and wrapped his arm around Fishleg's neck. "Because it's crazy that it has to work!"

"But, but, but…Hiccup wouldn't approve of this!" Fishlegs fidgeted.

"At times like this babe, we shouldn't be thinking of 'What-Would-Hiccup-Do'," Ruffnut said and went to his other side and wrapped her own arm around his neck.

"Yeah, instead. We should be thinking…"Tuffnut said and the twins slapped their hands in front of Fishlegs' face. "'What-Wouldn't-Hiccup-Do?'"

The twins then slowly released their hands and gestured to something in the air in front of Fishlegs. Fishlegs could have sworn he saw a rainbow between the twin's hands.

But then it could have been dust.

"Uuuhh…" Fishlegs wasn't entirely convinced.

"I'll do that *fantasy* you've always wanted me to do," Ruffnut said to Fishlegs' ears and he immediately went red.

"Ew, ew, ew!" Tuffnut immediately released himself from the two. "I do NOT need to hear that! Get a room!"

"Oh we will, right, honeybun~~" Ruffnut whispered seductively and Fishlegs furiously nodded. Tuffnut rolled his eyes.

"Uhm, okay, so the objective of your plan is to get Hiccup to go to a foreign kingdom and hopefully, change his mind about his closed doors policy. But how are you going to do that exactly? I don't think he will ever step outside of the kingdom," Fishlegs asked and the twins grinned.

"Simple…we cry wolf,"

...~...

Fishlegs fidgeted in his seat as he remembered the conversation he had with the twins before they went 'missing'. He was lucky that he wasn't the one that would be questioned, or he might spill the beans in an instant!

'Sorry Hiccup!' Fishlegs thought as he watched the silent Hiccup seated in front of the twins.

Meanwhile, Hiccup was trying his best to keep his anger in check, lest he beat the twins with his prosthetic foot. Or maybe he'd stick it up to their asses. It was really tempting at the moment.

"A strong man is not measured by his physical strength, but by his strength to reign in his anger. For anger is destructive. It will make you think that you are always right and your actions are justified when it is most likely not,"

Hiccup repeated the words a wise man had told him during one of his travels in his head as he rubbed his temple. The source of his anger, the twins were sitting quite far from him as they waited for him to start. Meanwhile, Toothless placed his head on Hiccup's lap and let out a comforting drone.

Anger was a natural emotion and thus it is unavoidable. It was impossible to never get angry in a person's life.

Well, unless that person was a saint or something.

But Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third was not a saint. He was just a normal person like everybody else.

It was just that a lot of people that knew him told that he has the patience of a saint.

While it was true that anger is unavoidable, it is how you manage the anger that makes the difference. And Hiccup has quite an effective anger management program.

But still, even his patience has its limits. And right now, he was close to breaking that limit.

How could he not? All of those hard work and sacrifice...all of it could be destroyed in an instant! What made it worse, he had a gut feeling that it would be his friends' fault!

Tuffnut, Ruffnut and Fishlegs eyed each other nervously. Nobody liked a super angry person, especially the quiet ones.

And it was always the quiet and kind ones whose anger can be super scary. And Hiccup was one of them.

"So let me get this straight. You've been missing for almost two weeks and when you return, you brought war back to our home?" Hiccup started, still rubbing his temple.

"Ye-yes," Ruffnut meekly said.

"With a foreign kingdom called Arendelle," Tuffnut added.

Hiccup sighed before resuming. "Do you realize what you've done? All of our hard work, our sacrifices…"

Hearing those words, the twins felt really bad. But they expected this, so they steeled themselves.

"We didn't plan to! We swear! It all happened beyond our control!" Ruffnut said.

Hiccup snorted. "Of course it does. I don't know what's worse sometimes; when you plan something or when you don't,"

The twins eyed each other. If only Hiccup knew...

"Well, yeah but…at least hear us out?" Ruffnut said and Hiccup sighed.

Hiccup knew that their explanation would probably be silly, crazy and stupid that would made him question their logic and common sense. Heck, it would make him question his own because he was the one that made them the Viking emissaries after all.

But logic beats anger. And according to logic, the twin's track record as emissaries was quite well…according to Viking standards anyway despite their eccentrics. It could probably be that the twins didn't know about the other kingdom's customs.

If anything, they deserved to present their case. That and as a leader, Hiccup needed to know what happened anyway.

Unfortunately, the anger was still there. What was more, their explanation would likely anger him more if he listened to them now. So a little time out was needed.

"I'm going to take a cold bath and a nap to clear my head. You three, will stay here until I'm finished. Understand?" Hiccup said and the three of them nodded furiously until Fishlegs realized something.

The three Vikings waited for a few minutes in silence before they relaxed with a sigh.

"Phew! I thought that he was going to explode!" Fishlegs said as he slumped in his chair.

"Hah! Wait till he hears the truth! Then he'll explode," Ruffnut said with a grin and Fishlegs whined.

Just then, the door burst open again and the three Vikings quickly sat straight.

"So, how is it going?" a voice said and the Vikings relaxed again.

"Oh, it's just you, Gobber," Fishlegs said.

"What, you thought I was Hiccup? So where did he go to? I thought he was going to the forge to take a hammer to beat you two with, but apparently that's not it," Gobber said as he walked towards the twins.

"He's probably going to the cove where he meets Toothless," Fishlegs answered Gobber. "He wants to cool down a bit before talking to Ruff and Tuff again,"

"Yeah, we thought that he'd want this to be done quickly. But I guess we really made him mad," Ruffnut said.

"Ah, good thinking. Anyway, you got what I asked for?" Gobber asked the twins.

"Pfft! What do you take us for? Of course we have it!" Ruffnut answered and pulled out a parcel which Gobber took gleefully.

The way Gobber opened the parcel would make you think of a kid opening his gift. His eyes then widened with a shine as he took out the item; a fabric of purple silk.

"Oooh, that's the stuff," Gobber said as he rubbed the fabric on his face. The other Vikings just gave him a weird look.

"O-kay, so did you do what we asked you to do?" Tuffnut asked.

"Of course, you didn't see Valka coming here do you?" Gobber replied. "I managed to get her out of Berk for a few days. Should be enough time to prevent her from knowing what happened and butting in. Though I'm not sure why you want her out of the way, not like she's interested in Viking politics after all,"

"It's her wrath is what we're afraid of. Anyway, thanks Gobber," Ruffnut said and Gobber waved the silk in front of them.

"Yeah well, for everyone's sake, your plan better work," Gobber said and walked towards the door. "Oh and, if it didn't work…I don't know anything, ya hear?"

Gobber gave them a stern look before closing the door.

"Traitor," Tuffnut crossed his arms with a huff.

"Sooo…how long do you think he's gonna take?" Ruffnut asked and Fishlegs shrugged.

"An hour or two I guess," Fishlegs answered.

"Ugh…I'm hungry," Ruffnut said and her lolled her head back.

"Me too…" Fishlegs added softly.

…

"So! Tell me what happened!" Hiccup said with a cheery face and clapped his hands together, startling the other Vikings in the room.

"Uh…" Tuffnut started and gave his sister a weird look. "Are you…alright, Hiccup?"

They expected to face a super angry Hiccup and not a...hopefully super happy Hiccup?

"Of course!" Hiccup said happily. He then, with a smooth motion, twirled his chair in front of the twins, promptly sat on it, crossed his good leg, clasped his hands together and put it on his leg. Meanwhile, Toothless decided to circle the twins menacingly.

"Now-" Hiccup's face suddenly turned serious. "-talk,"

The trio gulped before Tuffnut began.

"Well…" Tuffnut said. "It happened after we kind of partied-"

At the word party, Hiccup snorted. He expected it would begin with a party.

"-with the Flying Rock tribe. We were reaaaally drunk-"

Hiccup groaned and rubbed his temple again. And of course it wouldn't be complete without alcohol.

"- and then it was late. We decided to go back home-"

"With your dragon, while you were drunk? "Hiccup asked and the twins nodded. Toothless narrowed his eyes at the twins. He had seen what could happen when a drunken rider rides a dragon. It was not a pretty sight.

"How many times - and late at night too! I've issued a decree, made signs, and posters and everything else too!" Hiccup threw his arms in the air. He could feel his anger rising again. And this was just the beginning of the story too!

"Well yeah…but you know I can't stay the night there drunk when I'm already married," Ruffnut said and gave Fishlegs a sad look. Fishlegs gave her reassuring look.

"Then you shouldn't get DRUNK at all without your HUSBAND around! Or at least make sure that one of you isn't drunk!" Hiccup said and he glared at Tuffnut.

"M-me? What I'd do?" Tuffnut said.

Hiccup gave him a glare that could send a Monstrous Nightmare to run away.

"Oh…well, it's just that I feel bad you know…knowing that I'm the only one having fun," Tuffnut sheepishly said.

"Well I hope you enjoyed it, because after this…" Hiccup said menacingly. Toothless growled at them and the twins gulped.

"Fishlegs," Hiccup said and Fishlegs immediately sat straight.

"Ye-yes, Hiccup?" Fishlegs asked timidly.

"You're her husband. Act. Like. One," Hiccup said slowly in a low tone.

"Ri-right! Ruffnut Ingerman! You're a bad, bad, bad wife! I'm going to punish you-" Fishlegs started and Ruffnut only shivered and grinned.

"Oh yes, I am a bad-"

Hiccup face palmed before stomping on the floor with his prosthetic foot and Toothless mimicked the action with this tail.

"Get. Serious. PEOPLE!" Hiccup said loudly and they jumped in their seats. "And then what happened next?"

"Oh, right!" Tuffnut said and continued. "Well, unfortunately, there was a storm that night and we…uhh kinda went through it?"

Hiccup raised his eyebrow.

"We don't remember much actually! All we know next was we have this massive hangover and we're on a beach," Tuffnut said.

Hiccup narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah…we found that we weren't on the Viking Kingdom anymore. Luckily, there wasn't anybody around. So they didn't saw us or our dragon. So we decided to hide Barf and Belch and…"

Hiccup was silent.

"…explore the place?" Ruffnut finished meekly.

Hiccup ran his hand over his hair. "Why?" Hiccup said in suppressed anger.

"Well, Barf and Belch were hurt – but not seriously hurt, just needed some food and rest, so…we couldn't fly back," Ruffnut answered.

"Ah, I wonder, whose fault is it then?" Hiccup asked sweetly with a smile. The twins were creep out by this.

"Yeah…we've learned our lesson. No more drunk riding!" Ruffnut said and Hiccup eyed them silently.

The twins fidgeted in their seat as the silence continued.

"Continue," Hiccup said emotionlessly.

"We then found a town nearby! So we decided that while waiting for Barf and Belch to recover, we would do some…reconnaissance," Tuffnut said.

"U-huh, I take it that it ended well?" Hiccup said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…sure it didn't end well…but it's the journey that matters, right?" Tuffnut said with a hopeful smile.

"You mean?"

"We managed to lay low for most of the duration of our…reconnaissance," Ruffnut said.

"Lay low and quiet?" Hiccup asked and the twins looked away.

"Mostly we just lay low," Ruffnut answered sheepishly and Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Buuuut, we used our diplomatic, ambassador, emissary-" Tuffnut counted his fingers. "- and social skills to the fullest and we managed to get the people to like us!" Tuffnut said, happy at the achievement.

"And yet we still got a war on our heads," Hiccup countered easily.

Tuffnut instantly deflated. "Yeah…"

"But, we learned a lot, Hiccup!" Ruffnut continued. "You should see their kingdom! It was awesome! They have lots of things that we couldn't get here!"

At hearing this, Tuffnut perked up. "Yeah, yeah! They have this awesome food called chocolate!" Tuffnut then reached for his satchel and took out a parcel made of brown paper before presenting it to Hiccup.

Hiccup eyed the twins for a moment before looking at the parcel. He really shouldn't be distracted but...he was a curious guy. And hopefully, the 'chocolate' would lessen his rising anger.

Hiccup sighed and took the parcel. He then carefully opened the parcel to see that something was wrapped inside.

"Oooh! What is it Hiccup?" Fishlegs said as he went near Hiccup to see what was inside.

"Something called chocolate," Hiccup said and opened the wrapping, causing a sweet smell to fill the air.

"Hmmm…chocolate!" the twins chorused happily with a sigh.

"Apparently chocolate is a…sweet smelling mud?" Hiccup said and the twins looked surprised before Hiccup showed them the melted brown chocolate.

"Oh, it melted. It was supposed to look like dirt," Tuffnut said.

"And that makes it much better," Hiccup said sarcastically.

Ruffnut elbowed her twin. "No you idiot! It was supposed to look like shaped bricks!"

Hiccup could only roll his eyes before Toothless came to smell the item in question. After a few sniff, his tongue then shot out to taste the chocolate.

His only reaction was to back away and gave the food a disgusted look.

Hiccup thought that it was appropriate.

"Oh yeah, apparently dragons do not like chocolate. They said that it was made from a…what is it?" Tuffnut said as he snapped his fingers a few times to help him remember. "Ah ha! Cacao seeds! I guess since it's a vegetable, dragons don't like it? I heard it's very bitter too,"

"Yeah, most chocolates are added milk, sugar and other stuff to make it sweet," Ruffnut added.

"U-huh," Hiccup said, still not trusting the twins as he eyed the supposedly delicious food.

"Well, you try it first," Hiccup said and showed the chocolate to Fishlegs.

"What? Why me!" Fishlegs said as he backed away.

"Because if your wife tried to poison me, she'll regret doing it," Hiccup said and Fishlegs gave Ruffnut a betrayed look.

Ruffnut gave him a stern look. "You better eat it! That thing is not cheap!"

"That is what you're concerned about?" Fishlegs asked exasperatedly.

"Trust me, when you taste that, you'd want me bathed in it before-"

Luckily, Hiccup and Tuffnut groaned loudly to drown out the words that came out.

"Ew! Ew! Ew! No, no please don't!" Hiccup said while Toothless shuddered in disgust and Tuffnut immediately dragged his chair away from his sister.

Meanwhile, Fishlegs remained quiet with a blank look on his face; probably thinking about mud (that was supposedly edible) covered Ruffnut.

"Okay!" Fishlegs quickly said and immediately dip a finger into the melted chocolate and brought it to his mouth.

Fishlegs had a blank look for a moment before his eyes widened with a shine.

"It is delicious!" Fishlegs dipped three fingers at once into the chocolate again. "But are you sure that this isn't mud with milk?"

"Pfft! No! It tastes waaay different than chocolate, trust me, I know," Tuffnut replied.

Hiccup and Fishlegs gave him a weird look.

"And why would you know how mud with milk tastes like?" Hiccup asked.

"He bought milk but spilled them on a mud," Ruffnut answered nonchalantly.

Only Hiccup gave him a weird look this time.

"Hey, that milk was expensive!" Tuffnut said and crossed his arms.

"O-kay," Hiccup said. He actually kind of expected that kind of answer from them. It showed that he either has grown accustomed to the twin's antics or they're kind of rubbing on him. He hoped that it was the former.

Hiccup was about to taste some of the chocolate until he realized that there was nothing left. He didn't think it was possible for a (supposedly) delicious mud to be (somehow) gone, cleanly at that from a paper.

"Hey!"

He turned and found Fishlegs whose cheeks and chin stained with chocolate. He was in the middle of sucking his chocolate covered fingers too. He then paused and gave Hiccup a blank look.

"What? You didn't want it," Fishlegs said.

"I didn't say that!" Hiccup said, feeling a little bit sad at being left out from tasting the (supposedly) delicious mud called chocolate.

Even his dragon had a taste!

"Don't worry, I got you covered, Hiccup!" Tuffnut said and pulled out another parcel, causing Fishlegs' eyes to instantly go wide again.

"Annnd, they say that chocolate goes well with a lot other stuff, like biscuits!" Tuffnut said and pulled out another parcel.

Meanwhile, Fishlegs had his arms outstretched like a zombie and went towards Tuffnut.

"Hey, hey, back off! You already had your fill!" Tuffnut said as he put a foot on Fishlegs' chest to stop him from getting near. Unfortunately, Fishlegs was bigger and so Tuffnut was pushed instead and had to balance his chair from toppling over.

Hiccup sighed as he ran his hand over his face. Strangely enough, he felt that his anger has reduced by watching his friends' shenanigans.

"Guys, let's get back to the issue at hand," Hiccup said and all the attention was on him again. Fishlegs quickly backed away from Tuffnut, which caused him to fall to the floor with a crash.

Fishlegs only offered a quiet 'oops' before going back to his seat.

"Oh I am hurt! I am very much hurt!" Tuffnut said and Ruffnut rolled her eyes.

Hiccup sighed again and Ruffnut decided to keep the ball rolling, so to speak. "So yeah, we spent a lot of time there. We saw new things, learned some stuff, tried a lot of foods and drinks; oh they even have hot chocolate!"

Fishlegs mouth watered while Hiccup only raised an eyebrow at them.

"It seems like you were enjoying yourselves. Kinda like going on a vacation, huh?" Hiccup said.

"Heh, yeah!" Tuffnut said as he got up to his seat again. Hiccup glared at him and he realized his error. "Eer…sorry,"

"And then," Hiccup sighed before continuing.

"Well…on our last day there, Barf and Belch have recovered and we decided that it was time to go back home. So, we decided to hit the bar one last time?" Ruffnut finished with a weak smile.

Hiccup groaned. He figured that it would end the way it started; with the twins getting drunk.

"While we were there, we heard an interesting story," Ruffnut continued and Hiccup gave her a curious look. "It turns out that the Queen of Arendelle actually has a magical power. She can control ice, snow and frost!"

Hiccup's eyes widened at this. "No…"

"Yeah! They said that two years ago, she lost control of her powers and she accidently froze her entire kingdom! Buuut, she managed to control it. Since then, she was known as the Snow Queen…or is it the Ice Queen?" Tuffnut said and rubbed his chin.

It was then Hiccup realized how severe the situation was. 'They managed to piss of a kingdom that has a Queen with ice powers?'

"What happened next?" Hiccup said as he began to rub his temple. He has the gut feeling that what the twins did was really, really bad.

"Weeell…we then heard that she wears a dress…made of ice," Ruffnut said meekly.

Hiccup perked up and sat straight. "No!" His logical mind combined with his familiarity of the twins came to one terrifying conclusion.

He hoped that it was not true.

The twins looked sheepish and avoided Hiccup's eyes. "We wanted to see it for ourselves! So we managed to get an audience with the queen,"

"How? You guys were drunk!" Hiccup asked, fearing what comes next.

"Somehow, we managed to think straight for five minutes to fool the court into thinking that we were sober. That and we have our official letter," Ruffnut said, referring to the letter that designates them as the emissaries of the Viking Kingdom.

Hiccup slumped to his chair, speechless.

"We told the royal court that we came on your orders? And we sort of told them where the Viking Kingdom is?" Tuffnut said meekly.

Hiccup slapped his hand on his forehead so hard that it made a sound that startled the other Vikings.

"And when we met her, her dress did seemed like it was made of ice. We didn't know for sure back then so we decided to test it," Ruffnut said.

Hiccup was now shaking his head repeatedly. "Noo…"

"So we managed to get close and burn it…"

"It turns out; the dress was really made of ice,"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO," Hiccup said loudly while clutching his hair and shook his his head dramatically.

"It wasn't that bad, Hiccup! She wasn't hurt! She just got really, really wet..." Ruffnut tried to console Hiccup.

But then Tuffnut had to butt in. "It's only her dignity that got burned," Tuffnut said with a grin as he elbowed his sister. Her sister only rolled her eyes in response.

"But hey, if you meet her in that dress...phew! You would want to burn it off!" Tuffnut added.

"Not in front of her court!" Hiccup said as he got up from his seat. The twins gave each other a shocked look before grinning at what Hiccup had implied, or they think that he implied in his state of mind.

Hiccup was pacing around his chair now and Toothless watched him with an amused expression.

"So yeah, umm…we kind of sobered up after that and the Queen was livid. She declared war and vengeance that instant before we ran away,"

"She told us that she will freeze our kingdom, my balls and your balls too before crushing it in front of our very eyes," Tuffnut said and shivered.

At this point, Hiccup slumped back to his chair with his head lolled to the back.

"Of all the places…" Hiccup said calmly. He didn't have the strength to get angy anymore. "…you couldn't pick a normal one?"

The twins looked at each other with a smile.

"No?" Tuffnut said and Hiccup sighed as he sat straight again. "Chocolate?" Tuffnut offered and Hiccup weakly took the chocolate.

"So Hiccup, what are we going to do?" Fishlegs asked while eyeing the chocolate. Hiccup, as if sensing the predatory look, stood up with his back facing the other Vikings.

"Here's what we're going to do. Fishlegs, you and the twins are going to get as many valuables we have; gold, silver, jewelries, weapons and anything else that you think will be enough as compensation for the Queen," Hiccup ordered as he unwrap the chocolate. Fishlegs began to drool but Toothless smacked him with his tail to get back his attention.

"Oh, alright! Will do Hiccup!" Fishlegs nodded enthusiastically.

"Get it done quickly and quietly. If anybody asks, tell them that it is for official business. We don't want to make the situation worse than it already is. Get Sigurd and tell him to prepare a ship. We move tomorrow," Hiccup said.

Unbeknownst to Hiccup, the twins were having a silent celebration with muted cheers, fist bumps and even hugs. Toothless gave them a weird look and was about to make a sound when Ruffnut realized this. She then took out a salmon and gave it to Toothless, who happily took it.

"This is quite good…" Hiccup said as he ate the chocolate and the twins chuckled silently.

Fishlegs could only stare in amazement as the twins celebrated again.

"Phase two, success!" Ruffnut whispered to Fishlegs and he could only shake his head.

He held a hand on his chest and quietly sighed with relief. He had expected for Hiccup to explode like the twins would say, but to his and the twin's relief, Hiccup took it well. However, they were not in the clear yet. The hardest part was when the twins would tell Hiccup the truth.

He hoped that Hiccup would take it as well as he did today. If not, he prayed to the gods that someone would help them.

Author's Note: Phase two complete! But what about the next phase?

Read and Review!