"I was a heavy heart to carry my beloved was weighed down. My arms around his neck my fingers laced to crown."

- Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + the Machine.

Chapter One: Heavy.

It had been two days since Eren, Mikasa and her girlfriend Annie had showed up, and in those two days I had purposely avoided them.

I know it seems selfish to be the way I am. Sure I feel guilty because since they've been back Mikasa has tried to get me to participate in family events, but I kept shooting the offers down, gently of course, mentioning that Finals were coming up soon and maintaining my GPA.

None of it was bullshit though because Senior year finally provided itself to be a challenge.

Not that I'm complaining I like it, a challenge I mean, and since it wasn't lying I didn't feel bad at the time save for the disappointment clouding over in Mikasa's eyes when we do see each other.

Luckily, at the moment, I do not have to gaze into those sad grey irises of hers because it's Friday and that means I'm currently sitting in my fifth period class reading over this test I just finished for Pre Cal.

I'm pretty sure I aced it so I just place the paper down and look at the clock.

I have three minutes left of class and then I'm leaving for the day. Normally there are eight periods total, but since I've become a Senior and have made a hefty amount of credits I only stay for five class periods and then have the rest of the day to do anything I want.

And at the moment all I want to do is avoi -

The bell rings and I push my thoughts back as I stand up collecting my belongings and walk over to the teacher's desk handing my test in with a smile.

"Ah Miss Jaeger how did you think you did?"

I glance at my teacher, Mr. Cullens, who gave me an almost leering grin. With everything in my being to keep myself from shuddering in disgust as I kept my smile intact shrugging lightly, "I'm pretty sure I aced it."

"Ah," he smiles wider as he glances over my work, "I've heard from the other faculty members about your sister being gifted and I believe you are equally so," he bats his eye lashes at me then, "and even more so beautiful."

I bite the inside of my cheek as I straighten my posture setting a heavy glare his way, which startled him. He's a new teacher, young and easy on the eyes which is what almost every girl and guy thinks anyways, but he's a creep. Though he tries to be subtle he has tried time and time again to use flattery on me. Usually I ignore it, but now he's mention Mikasa and I'm not having any of that.

"Firstly Mr. Cullens," I begin evenly, "my sister is far more intelligent and beautiful than I'll ever be," he flinched at my tone, "secondly you've been doing this the whole school year and it needs to stop before I report you for sexual misconduct," I notices his tension as he starts to glare at me but I wasn't finished, "I thought I'd make this clear to you now I'm not in any way interested. You're a teacher one who is suppose to guide not prey upon your students because you can't find a woman who wants to sleep with you."

I don't wait for him to say anything as I turn to walk out the classroom only to pause, at the door "oh and if you think to fail me because I won't fall for your advances I'll have a word with the principle."

And with that I was on my merry way.

I managed to make it to my locker and open it when.

"Potato Wedge," a very loud and semi annoyed Ymir yells out causing me to flinch.

"What do you want Freckles," I call out from the inside of my locker recovering from that flinch with a snicker as I picture her fully annoyed face.

"Oi, don't you be sassy with me Missy where the hell have you been."

It's not a question but a demand. That's just how Ymir does things though save for when she is sweet and timid around Christa.

Yes you hear me right Ymir has a sweet and timid side stop the presses!

I think it's kinda cute.

"I've been around," I tell her vaguely as I close my locker door hoisting my bag over my shoulder, "why?"

"Bullshit don't give me that," she scoffs, "you haven't been to the Dojo in two days and have been locked up in that room of yours."

"You know I have to study to mant -"

"Like I said bullshit 'Tato," she cuts me off giving me this lazy grin as she narrows her eyes at me, "I think it has something to do with your sister's girlfriend what's her name Annie isn't?"

I tense locking my jaw into place as I gaze at Ymir. She's baiting me trying to get me to say something that I shouldn't so I relax myself as quickly as I can casting this mask of indifference into my features as I smile at her.

"How do you know about Annie," I ask keeping any bitterness away as I say the blonde's name, "did Armin fill you and Christa up on that or Jean?"

"Neither," she shrugged grin still intact, "I didn't even know Armin knew anything about Annie and Jean was with me when they were sparring."

"Sparring?"

That got my attention which caused Ymir to raise her brow.

"Yeah that little blonde sure is something I'm even iffy on taking her."

"Oooooooua," I cooed as I look at her playful mockingness set in my tone, "big bad Ymir scared to take on a little blonde?"

"Watch it you," she growls playfully as she slings her arm around my shoulder, "I can still whoop your ass and I said iffy I happen to like my face."

I rolled my eyes tapping her arm with the hand not holding onto my bag, "right you're just saying that because Christa happens to like your face."

"You're damn right," she smirks, "and why wouldn't she I'm a sexy beast."

I laugh full and heartily as we begin to walk out the building. I'm sure Ymir has a class and I'm even more so positive it's not with Christa so she's gonna skip.

"Are you gonna show up today or am I gonna have to break into your home and drag you all the way there?"

I hum for a minute and smile when I see Eren's car in the school parking lot.

"Sas?"

"I'll think about it," I say simply as I remove Ymir's arm from my shoulder, "if I have nothing else going on I will," I plant myself in place as I look at her, " are you skipping today?"

Ymir laughs and gave me this 'duh' expression like it was the dumbest question I ever asked and honestly it was I should have known by now.

"Right," I sigh as I walk over to the black beat up '67 Charger without a second thought.

"See ya Potato," Ymir shouts as she heads the opposite way to god knows where.

Before I climb into the car I turn around giving Ymir the finger causing her to laugh out as she waves. Even now though I wouldn't trade our friendship for the world.

I then climb into the car without looking at the driver, "Sorry Eren," I apologize quickly as I sit my book bag down in front of me, "Ymir was being her usual insufferable self and I got caught up."

"Sorry to disappoint you," a soft voice answered causing me to stiffen in my seat, "but Eren is with Mother grocery shopping and let me borrow his car to get you."

"O-oh I see," I stammered as I hastily put on my seat belt keeping my eyes fixed ahead, "where's Annie?"

I waited a beat which lead to three before the car moved from it's parking spot when she decides to exhale a breath I spare a glance.

The first thing I notice is her hair is shorter, no longer past her shoulders the length stopped mid neck, and she isn't wearing her scarf. The hair was one thing I think it suits her personally, but the scarf? Mikasa wasn't one to not wear it and as I scan through my memory banks I've never seen her without it.

"I like your hair cut," I told her offhandedly as I looked back at the road. I knew if I mentioned the scarf it could possibly cause a commotion between us and honestly I was not ready for that.

"Annie went to see her parents," Mikasa finally answered however, "she'll be back in an hour though because we'll be heading to the Dojo."

I nod my head.

"Thank you," she adds airly after a pause when we come to the first stop sign, "I do miss my long hair but Eren thought it was best I cut it."

I roll my eyes as I relax into the passenger seat. Of course if that idiot told her to do something she'd do it. I remember that one time he told her to jump down from this branch that was a good ten feet off the ground and she did it fracturing her left ankle and femur.

"Remember when he told you to jump off that branch," I say after the thought before shaking my head, "least this looks decent and not painful."

My heart squeezes painfully when I hear a faint chuckle knowing I've made her laugh.

I nearly jump when she grabs my hand interlacing our fingers. She gives my hand a light squeeze before removing her hand placing it back on the steering wheel.

"Sorry," she says a moment later as we come to the second stop sign, "I've missed you and I've hardly seen you since I've been home."

That guilty feeling is creeping up on me as I sigh.

"It's fine," I tell her with a small smile,"just been stressed out with Finals, a pervy teacher, Jean and Ymir's flirtatious manners, and graduation is around the corner."

From my peripheral vision I see the corner of her eye twitches as she grips on the steering wheel tighter.

"What class," she asks in this hard steely kind of tone, "nevermind what teacher?"

"I took care of it," I shrugged nonchantedly keeping my gaze forward, "I'm sure I got the messaged across to him so no biggie."

I see her open her mouth to say something but she clamps her mouth shut and for the rest of the ride home she speeds. We take the whindy hills route and speeding does not feel comfortable. I don't say anything though as one thought comes to me.

I wonder why she's upset?

x

We make it home in one piece. As soon as she parks I thank her quickly and run for the door.

As much as I loved being around her and the light conversation we had before she got upset I needed to clean my room and get my gym bag ready.

After twenty minutes spent organizing my clothes I went and took care of my bathroom. It took me awhile when I first moved in this room to notice that the extra door led to a small bathroom with a working sink, toilet and shower. To my delight when I was younger because it meant I no longer had to share the bathroom with Eren and Mikasa.

Now I find it bothersome when I have to clean it. Don't get me wrong I'm not a messy person I actually pride myself in keeping not only my person but my entire area cleaned as well, but something about having to scrub a toilet and shower just seems so auuuugh if you know what I mean.

The task takes about forty minutes total and when I'm done I remove my gloves, throw them in the bucket and exit my bathroom with a content sigh until I look up freezing in place.

Mikasa is sitting on my newly made bed.

Mikasa is sitting on my newly made bed.

Mikasa is sitting on my newly made bed.

I think my heart just stopped and I'm gawking. This is weird this is so unbearably weird.

Luckily she hasn't noticed me as I look at her, taking in her posture. She is sitting on the edge, her legs neatly tucked underneath her, while she holds onto the bear she left me. I swallow a shaky breath as I straighten up.

"Oh, Mikasa," I say surprising her and myself with how smooth my voice comes out, "I didn't notice you there do you need something?"

She recovers from her shock to look at me and then down at the bear, "you really kept it."

"A-ah," I stammer out not quite grasping, "you left it in my room didn't you for me to watch over?"

She nods her head and stands placing the bear down on my bed neatly as she did.

"Yes," her voice, soft as always, answers, "I thought I wouldn't need it for where I was going."

I nod taking a moment as my thoughts whirling as I look at her and then the bear.

"Would you like it back now that you're home?"

"I," she hesitates, "I think it's best you keep it," she says almost reluctantly as she looks up at me, "you sleep with it don't you?"

"Yes," I answer as heat rushes to my cheeks, "it helps me when I..."

I don't have the heart to finish that sentence. I don't want her to think less of me if she knew I still have nightmares and the bear helped me cope because it had her scent, faint vanilla and rainfall, it eased away my fears.

She nods her head as I look around my room. A small smile forms on my lips when I spot a stuffed fox under my pillow. I walk over to it feeling Mikasa's curious gaze as I do so and when I stop in front of the animal I pick it up timidly turning to face her.

"Remember this ol' thing," I ask as I present it to her with a smile, "you got me this when I around eight as a welcome to the family gift."

"You still have it," surprised mixed into her voice though her expression was unreadable, "I thought..."

She lightly takes the stuffed animal from my hands a small smile adorns her whole face. This was new for me, being able to see her face fully, and in that moment warmth spread over me. I swallow the lump in my throat slightly as I rock back on my heels providing some distance between us. Just so I wouldn't do anything stupid.

Mikasa looks up at me then raising one of her brows as she looks at me. I smile at her easily as I glance down at the fox she gave me and then back up at her face.

"Keep it," I say finally, "that way it's a fair trade I hold onto your bear and you hold onto my fox."

She goes to say something, words almost tumble out of her mouth, as she goes to take a step towards me only to pause when someone clearing their throat stops her and startles me.

"I'm back," the monotone voice of Annie calls out from my door, "so is your mother and brother."

I lock eyes with Mikasa's for a moment as she composes herself. Her expression hardens into this stoic mask and it breaks my heart as I see it happen. I straighten up then as well when she takes a step away from me turning to see Annie giving me a view of the short blonde.

If I thought my heart was breaking from the way her face changed than it should be nothing more than dust in the wind now because there at my door way stands Annie with Mikasa's scarf draped around her shoulders. Her eyes were locked on Mikasa who was now staring at her.

I clear my throat as I feel something quite appalling boiling in my gut. It breaks their little staring contest as they both look at me.

"You two should get going," I say smiling sweetly ignoring the ugly feeling gripping at me as I look at Mikasa, "you mentioned once she came back you would be headed to the Dojo."

Mikasa said nothing she's just staring at me, I guess she is comprehending my words, so I keep my smile intact. I can feel Annie staring at me like she is assessing something. To my delight I hear the familiar sounds of Eren stomping up the stairs and that dissolves the tension in the room.

"Guys," he says rather loudly before stopping besides Annie, "oh you're all in here," he shakes his head as he looks at Mikasa rather annoyed, "weren't we going to the Lockhart Dojo today or are we lazing about?"

"We're going," Mikasa answers as she stares at him.

Eren relaxes a moment before looking over at me with a smile, "hey sis you coming along?"

I look at him ignoring the looks from Mikasa and her girlfriend as I do. My cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling so much, "Sure," I answer with ease, "Ymir asked me if I was going to earlier I just need to get my bag ready."

"Cool," he breathes out with an easy smile, "you're gonna need a ride huh?"

"Are all of you planning to take your car," I ask as I keep my gaze locked onto him and when he nods I sigh, "I'm gonna walk it's not that far from home."

"Are you nuts," he shouts, his normal excessive self, as he looks at me, "you can't be serious mom would have a cow, like a literal cow," he flails his arms as he looks at Mikasa, "Mik tell her she's riding with us!"

I flick my amused gaze from him to look at Mikasa who is now facing me. She goes to say something but I hold up my hand to look back at Eren.

"If it bothers you that much I'll take the bike."

Eren and Mikasa look confused and Annie looks so bored out of her mind I almost feel sorry for her.

Almost.

"What bike since when do we have a bike?"

I shrug my shoulder a moment before speaking, "it was a gift anyways I'll meet you guys there."

Eren clamps his mouth shut swallowing his resort as he leaves my room to go get ready. I almost loss it however when Annie walks into my room throwing the scarf around Mikasa's neck pulling her down so that their lips met.

I notice the way Annie looks at me when she does it. Almost like she's taunting me and personally I want to throttle her.

I clear my throat sharply, the ugly feeling intensifying, as I wait for them to break apart. Once they do Mikasa looks at me almost startled. I exhale quickly regaining my baring.

"Not that I don't mind you two kissing I'd like to say my room and the part of the hallways joining my room is off-limits," my voice is not kind or warm as I say this but I don't care, "so if you two intend to lock lips do so not in my presence and you two should also get ready like now."

I ignore Mikasa's confused expression as she wraps her scarf around her neck properly and I nearly scream when Annie smirks at me as she takes Mikasa's free hand taking her attention from me as she tugs her out of my room.

Once they're gone I do my breathing exercise that I learned from one of my doctors when I was a child to help me whenever I felt panic-y after a night terror. I'm using it for a completely different reason now, but for the most part it's helping.

After my breathing is in check I grab my bag, I packed everything I needed earlier, slipping into the strap so that it went across my body like a seat belt as the bag was nestled on my lower back.

I exit my room then closing my door softly as I walk down the stairs. I enter the kitchen moments later with a smile when I see Mama getting everything ready for supper later.

"Ah there you are," she says happily as she looks up from slicing up potatoes, "your brother, sister and Annie are about to leave Eren mentioned you'll be taking the bike?"

"Yes," I breathe out cheerfully as go to get the keys, which were on the counter inside the cookie jar, "you and Papa got it for me so why not drive it around more."

"Sasha," Mama says momentarily as she finishes the last potato, "are you purposely avoiding your siblings because Mikasa is dating a girl?"

"No," I answer automatically, "I've just been busy with school you know that Mama," I sigh then before smiling to look at her, "I have no problem with Mikasa's sexual preference and half the time I feel like Eren would have been the one to come out if he didn't like Armin so much."

"Alright," Mama chuckles as she gets to work chopping up carrots now, "I just wanted to make sure your father is having a harder time coping but it's only because Annie is so much like your sister it bothers him."

I wanted to disagree with her. I wanted to point out the many differences between them, but I didn't know Annie and the only thing I did know was that I just disliked her. So I nodded my head as I headed towards the garage.

"I'll be back later," I call out over my shoulder, "love you Mama!"

"I love you too my sweetheart," she sings out as I shut the door.

My mood seemed to improves well it always did when I hear Mama tell me she loves me too. I make my way over to the table to grab my helmet, it's one of those cool motorcycle helmets with the mask on it, I quickly slip it on as I hit the button opening the garage.

Once it's completely open I see that retreating form of Eren's Charger and I can't help but smile. He thought I'd be peddling my ass all the way there.

If only.

I look down at my white cromo painted 2010 Honda CBF1000 a smile, though hidden under my helmet, graced my face as the steady flow of adrenaline begins to courses through me. I mount the bike placing the key into the ignition giving it a roar of life as I grip the handles. I don't do the classic burn out instead I just hit the accelerate and with a jolt my ride kicks out of the garage and before I know it the house it out of view and I'm speeding along catching up at least ten minutes later to Eren.

Unlike Mikasa my brother is far more cautious on these roads. I honestly don't blame him, but since I'm on my bike I decide that his speed just isn't doing it. So I whiz around them only to drive beside them on the opposite side of the road.

I turn my head a moment taking in Eren's surprised expression and though he can't see my face I'm smiling at him.

I'd wave but I'm more concerned with keeping my hands on the handles so I look away from him pushing forward to speed well ahead of them.

I'm not worried about police catching me speeding. Since we live on the outskirts of town all of them are more inward, city bound, and well since I pretty much know which streets to take I end up avoiding having to stop.

Twenty five minutes later I pull into a parking spot. Smiling as I see Ymir just stepping out the doors gawking at me.

"No shit," she awes as she walks over to me as I take my helmet off, "I knew you said the Doc and Mommy dearest got you a bike but I thought you meant like one with peddles!"

I chuckle at her eye fucking my bike drawing her attention from it as she looks at me.

"Well Frecks," I drawl out, "that's what you get for assuming."

"Aye," she pouts, literally pouts, as she looks at me, "lemme have a ride on it for all the years of having to be your best friend."

I laugh, rich and full, as I shake my head at her.

"And here I thought you actually liked my sparkling personality and all."

"Nah, I just needed someone to tease lord knows Jean isn't as fun when he's subjected to my teasing," Ymir scoffs folding her arms over her chest as she playfully glares at me, "and you're just so well you so it's easy."

"Hey," I whine placing my hand over my chest, "I'm wounded Freckles, really."

We both share a laugh then as I get off my bike. She slings her arm around my shoulder again ruffling up my already helmet hair.

"Yah know," she says finally, "you are my best girl friend right and I don't know what I'd do without ya."

"Woah there," I chuckle tapping her arm gently, "don't go telling Christa that or she'd have my head."

"You're right," she says solemnly, "I should tell Christa."

"Ymir," I whine removing her arm from my shoulder, "I'd like to live to see tomorrow, please!"

"Alright," she chuckles finally, "just because if she kills you one of your freaky siblings would come for revenge."

I was about to say something when Eren pulls into the parking lot. Parking two spaces away from my bike. Once parked everyone climbs out, Eren and Mikasa from the front and Annie climbing out of the back as Eren stares openly at my present.

"But how," he whines, "I get this old thing and they get you something practically new," he is pouting now, "a motorcycle no less!"

I giggle at his afterthought as I readjust my bag.

"Yeah well that's what you get for assuming they got me an actually bike now if you don't mind we should be heading inside."

I don't have the heart to spare Mikasa a glance so I turn towards the door grabbing Ymir's arm. She goes to spout a protest but I shoot her a look that keeps her silent.

After we are through the doors I take in the Dojo with a huge smile. This place is just gigantic, it's like an old American gym and has a flare of traditional Japanese format, it's like a home away from home also since Ymir's family lives and works here also.

I turn to look at Ymir then with a questioning gaze.

"Would it be alright if I head to your room to change?"

"Sure," she huffs as I release her arm, "why."

"Just," I hush my tone when the others walk in, "please."

Thankfully she hears my urgency and nods her head.

"Fine fine," she crosses her arms teasingly, "don't take to long 'cause I want to have a match with you."

"Lemme guess," I sigh as I smile at her, "you wanna fight so you can try to win a free ride on my bike?"

"Hell yeah," she grins, "and Jeans over there," she points to his lean muscular form going at it on a punching bag, "just wait till I tell 'em he's gonna want to have a go at you too just for a quick ride also."

"Why do I even put up with you," I giggle at her scowl as I remove the strap from across my body holding the bag's handle close to it, "alright fine but if I win I get to take Christa out on a date."

Her expression is priceless.

Just so very priceless in fact that I dig my phone out of my pocket snapping a picture. I know it's wrong waging a "date" with her girlfriend if I win, but I figured a game of manipulation shall work.

I nearly laugh as she glares at me heavily.

"You little shit," she growls, non playfully mind you, as she keeps her glare in place, "I knew you had the hots for Christa well hurry your ass up and get ready so you can eat the mat, mate."

I nod my head laughing on the inside as I scurry away heading towards her room. Her assumption about me "having the hots" for Christa is so off bases that I nearly double over just to let the laughter out.

My preference is so not blondes.

I don't take my time once I'm in her room, I've been here a dozen times before, her bed isn't made. One of her latest porns is sprawled out next to her bed making me wince for a moment.

I swear she should have been born a guy.

Don't get me wrong Ymir has two older brothers, a sister a year older than her, three younger bothers and a baby sister. All of them seem normal enough, but Ymir well she's special. Not in any bad way I guess with all the kids they have her dads just didn't have all the time in the world to pay her any mind.

Not that Mr and Mister Lockhart aren't bad parents it's just they're busy. With one running this dojo and the other being a Lawyer I'm surprised they have anytime for their children. They do though, but I think Ymir just outgrew them at a certain point. I know she loves them though she'd get into fights at school a lot when people talked badly about them.

I'm stalling I know.

Anyways I slip on my black sports bra and blue short shorts then I lace up my boots and wrap up my hands in bandages really quick before grabbing my gloves and heading out her door.

Once I'm all set I quickly make my way back to the Dojo area where Ymir is currently standing on one of the mats looking like she is ready for blood, my blood, and I sigh. I know I can last awhile with Ymir, even when she is mad, but I know that since I provoked her that she'll try to end me quickly.

I shift my gaze away as I catch Eren antagonizing Jean into sparring with him and well I nearly laugh at this because each time they spar Jean wins and Eren whines like a sore losers. I move my gaze however when I hear the cracking of skin on skin contact.

It's Mikasa and Annie.

I stand there a moment watching as Annie tries to overthrow Mikasa with an heavy arsenal of fast punches and kicks, but Mikasa keeps countering throwing her own blows at the blonde only for her to dodge.

It almost looks like they're dancing.

"Oi, Potato," Ymir's voice booms loudly causing me to tear my gaze from the two sparring to look at her, I'm sure everyone else is too, heated gaze, "hurry up and get over here so I can kick your ass."

I just smirk as I go towards her only too stop a moment when a strong hand lands on my shoulder. I flick my gaze to the owner.

"Careful Sas," Jean says easily, "she's out for blood this time and also kick ass bike."

I just smirk at him tapping his hand, which he removes, as I refocus my attention back on Ymir who's pacing like a wild animal in a cage.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

As soon as my foot touches the mat she lunges at me. I dodge in time for that but I don't calculate her to spin around so quickly slamming her fist down on my left shoulder blade.

I stagger forward due to the blow and then I spin around to face her only to be knocked to the other side of the mat from the equally strong blow she delivers to my face.

For a moment everything is blurry, my ears are ringing and I feel the blood from my newly busted lip trickling down my chin.

I don't know how but a moment later I duck in time to avoid getting hit again and then all of a sudden I've collected myself enough to fight back. She throws her left fist towards my stomach and I can see her right leg rear back so I smack her arm away sweeping my leg off of under her body and with precise momentum I bring my leg up swinging it down, hard on her stomach.

It renders her useless for a moment, long enough for me to jump into a protective stance, as she spins herself on her back jumping back up to her feet.

And then we begin to dance. Each throw she gives me I counter, managing to land a few blows on her body, and we start to draw attention. We've been going at it over twenty minutes now and I know that if it isn't ended soon I'll be spent and won't be able to defend myself.

So after she goes to kick me I knock her leg down and go to punch her in her chest only to miscalculate when to hit her giving her the advantage to grab me by my arm flinging me to the mat.

Hard.

I'm panting when she grabs me by my sports bra lifting my body up half way, but instead of looking at her I look around noticing how everyone crowded around us, expect for Mikasa and Annie.

I glance over to the other mat, luckily no one was in the way, and I notice Mikasa has Annie pinned, but she isn't looking at Annie. She's looking over here staring at me.

Her eyes are locked onto mine and my breath nearly hitches at the sight.

The moment is ruined however when Annie grabs Mikasa by her scarf forcefully bringing their lips together surprising Mikasa as she did.

That intense feeling I felt earlier is back and before I can think to stop it my focus is brought back to Ymir.

She's been yelling at me but I can't make out her words, my mind is on that kiss, everything with in me is whirling with the fact that Annie kissed Mikasa surprising her like that when sparring.

I just lose it.

One minute I buck into Ymir throwing her off me and then I black out, just for a few moments, but they're long enough for Ymir to be laying sprawled out on the ground unconscious with me hovering over her with my fist ready to strike.

I stop when Eren's screaming breaks through to me.

I drop my arm.

My chest heaving and heart hammering as I look at Ymir.

"No," barely slips throw my lips as I move towards her body checking her pulse, "Ymir," I huff out fighting the lump in my throat, "Ymir," I try again shaking her after I find out her pulse is still there, "Ymir!"

She doesn't move and I move from her stumbling backwards as her father shouts out her name. I begin to panic as I turn myself to run to her room to grab my bag and the rest.

It just goes with a blur.

My body moving on autopilot.

One minute her father is screaming at me as I run past him ducking out of his reach, the next I'm on my biking speeding off like a bat out of hell and afterwards I'm closing the garage door my body shaking as I stumble past Mama ignoring her worried pleas to tell her whats wrong as I go to my room.

I lock the door behind me throwing my bag away from me as I drop to my knees. I feel the sting of tears begging to fall and I go to slam my fist into my floor but stop myself.

I won't disrespect my parents this way I stand, my body trembling, as I walk to my window and without a second thought I'm sprinting from my home to the woods I got lost in years ago.

It doesn't take long until I'm panting beside a tree. An array of emotions ripping at me.

Sadness, Anger, Jealousy and Guilt all fighting for a proper hold of me. Nearly consuming my being as I pant heavily slamming my fist into the tree beside me.

I didn't mean to take things so far with Ymir or even take my anger out on her. Honestly I shouldn't be mad at Mikasa either, it's not her fault I feel this way, and Annie well she's dating Mikasa I shouldn't have any right to be this way but these feelings.

I'm so fucking stupid.

In a fit of rage I start to slam my fists into the same tree beating into the bark with repeated vulgar. I don't stop not even when I feel the skin breaking from my knuckles as tears flow out of my eyes.

And the only noise that is emanating from the forest is the harsh sounds of me screaming.

Author's notes: And we're gonna end here.

I know it's the first chapter and there is already Angst-y feels! Cruel I know, but things will get better.

Anyways I wanted to say Female Levi will be in the next chapter and what will her connection be to Mikasa and how will things go between Levi and Sasha? Also since stumbling on Mina I have big plans for her and should I keep her gender or make her a guy?

Assassin718: I will be doing at least twenty or so chapters I hope you don't mind a bumpy ride.

TodayParade: Thank you!

Friend: I still hope you think so and won't be upset with all the feels.

Fall for the Bad Guy: I'll give as good as I can!

Kuma Leijon: - bows - No, thank YOU, dear!

impossiblyobessive: I hope it continues to be so for you and if I happen to fail I shall try better in the chapters that follow.

rosiema vasileva: Thank you dear, but I'm sure there are some other good ones also and ones that have yet to come.

RED TIGER SKUNK: It will be, but it will be worth it I promise.

DoTheseHaveSaltOnThem: I'm actually not quite fond of the pairing but for now they seem easy enough to write. The true nature of their relationship is yet to be revealed anyways.

Thank you also for the views and follows it surprised me and I hope that in the end you'll think this story is worth something.

Disclaimers are as followed I do not own these characters they are just living out life in this AU I'm typing.

Cap'n Lynn,

P.s All the errors are my fault I am using WordPad still, hopefully I'll start using Office in the near future.