Visits always give pleasure-if not the arrival, the departure.
- Portuguese Proverb.
Chapter Three: Visitor.
I'm awake on a Sunday morning way before sunrise.
Why?
Because loud calculated taps on my bedroom door have brought me from my dreamless slumber, well dreamless in a sense that I can't recall them for once.
Groggily I stand maneuvering through my room effortlessly as I open the wooden barrier to come face to face, well face to chest, with my father.
"Good morning Sasha," Papa said lightly as he smiles at me, "I heard from Connie last night that the two of you had a chat and I want to say that I am quite pleased to know that you have gained back control of your voice."
That wakes me up completely.
I push away the inward shock that I am feeling as I crane my neck upwards so that I can see his face.
He looks relaxed and that startles me. I figured he'd be upset or at least something other than relaxed at knowing that I got my voice back without saying anything.
Fucking Connie I'm gonna hang him upside down by his ankles and let his little brother and sister whack him like he was a piñata.
I refouse on Papa's face. He's looking at me expectantly and I realize I have yet to say anything. Must be because it's still way to early on a Sunday morning for my brain to even want to work, but I shrug it off giving him a sheepish smile.
"I'm sorry Papa," the earnest tone in my voice is genuine, "my voice came back Friday and it felt odd to use so I didn't and then yesterday I went to get some iced coffee," it wasn't really a lie so I don't feel particularly guilty as I add, "Connie just happened to be working when I was there so we caught up."
"Hmm," he hums out as he rubs his facial hair in thought, "I see well now that it is back I think we'll have a one on one session after lunch so you can tell me what happened with Ymir," I bit my lip as he sighed, "Eren told me part of what he saw and Ari along with his husband Steffen would also like to know why you knocked Ymir out like you did."
His disappointment is apparent. It's like a stab at the heart but I nod my head as he looks at me.
"You had us worried Sasha," he said finally after a few moments as he pats my shoulder, "does it have to do with the nightmares?"
I had a sneaking suspension that he would ask that so I just shrug as he removes he hand.
"I'll tell you when our session starts."
"I look forward to it," he gives me this kind smile like he usually does when he speaks in his doctor tone, "you can go back to sleep if you like it was rather rude of me to awaken you this early."
I nod my head as he pivots just so walking to the stairs and heading down them. He's probably going to his study going over his notes on me like I'm one of the rarest specimens on the face of this Earth.
And maybe I am.
Or just one of a kind.
I head back to my room only to grab some clothes hanging around in my closest and underwear out of my dresser.
I need a shower.
I shift slightly from my dresser to the doorway leading to my bathroom. The tiles are cold against my bare feet, but it's welcoming as I place everything down on my sink's counter. I then turn to my shower opening the glass door to it reaching up to turn the nozzle and then adjust the temperature before pulling it back with a pop allowing the water to spring to life.
I jump back before the water can splash off the glass to pelt my pajamas. Once I'm away from the now on shower I strip down the temperature of my body growing colder by the second before I step in welcoming the warmth it brings me as I close the door.
I sigh as the water covers me completely waking the rest of my senses up. I sigh in contentment as I start to wash away the stress.
It's nice this feeling of easiness before the storm that will happen earlier.
The storm that is my emotions that is.
About fifteen minutes later I am dressed in a comfortable part of form fitting denim jeans and a big black sweater that hangs off my right shoulder just so revealing the white tank top underneath.
I slip out of my bathroom walking over to my dresser to pull out socks and then over to my bed plopping myself down fumbling a moment or so to slip them on. After my feet are comfortably submerged inside the cozy fabric I hastily put on my tan mid calf boots.
Once they're on I walk back to my closet retrieving my trusty bow – the arrows are out in the shed – it may be a few hours before I talk to Papa but I feel that creeping feeling of flight and fight. Since I can't and won't leave the house shooting arrows at a non moving target came to mind.
Genius right?
Before I walk to my window I stop to look at my mirror taking in my appearance. My hair is down for once – slightly curly – and I'm not quite bothered with it because I'm not at school or sparring.
It looks decent really.
I push my bangs out of my eyes with a small hum of a tune that I don't recall as I walk to my window.
I don't feel like facing Papa and letting him know that I don't go back to sleep. He may take it that I'm ready to talk now and the reality of it is that I'm not.
So sneaking out of my window is what came to mind.
I lightly slip out making sure to not put my weight fully on one foot or the other as I walk across the roof. I make it to where Papa has the logs set up on the side of the house and drop down almost falling as I finally make it to the ground.
I sigh in relief before I begin to walk to the targets.
They're a short distance from the house – a good ten minute or so walk – next to one of our old sheds.
The one that Mikasa found me in actually.
It's this old run down faded red shake or it was before Papa decided to have one of those DIY kind of moods the summer Eren came back. Afterwards it became our Archery supplies shed.
Neat huh?
I stop just outside the door when I notice someone has already been in there. I know it's not Eren he's not exactly a morning person and Papa would be in his study. So that leaves only two others.
It wouldn't be odd for Mama to be up this early shooting at targets and I push the idea that it's Mikasa away because last I checked she was still at Annie's parents house.
Doing god knows what.
I grip my bow tighter as I walk into the shed quickly grabbing quiver that was already filled with arrows and place it on my back neatly.
Eager to see Mama in action I walk out of the shed walking over to the shooting area only to come to a halt.
Instead of seeing Mama's flowing brown locks as she kept her stance perfect I see the red fabric of Mikasa's scarf swaying as the wind blows softly around us.
Her stance is a little off but I can tell she is focused purely on the target as she pulls back on the string.
I creep up on her listening to the shallow breath she takes as she releases the arrow with a gentle grace about her as she does.
It takes flight soaring to it's target and it hits.
Not the bullseye, but a few inches off. I can't help the smile that tugs at the corner of my mouth as I ready my bow and just as quiet as I was sneaking up on her I pull out an arrow and with in a second I release it startling her as it whizzes past her striking the bullseye.
I suppress the laughter bubbling inside my chest as she turns around looking at me with wide grey eyes. This is the first time that I've ever surprised her so I play it off with a kind smile.
"You shift your weight instead of centering yourself," I begin with a shrug as I go to stand beside her, "Mama must have told you that, yes?"
She recovers herself quickly as she turns her head to look at the target. She buries her face into her scarf – possibly hiding her flushed cheeks – as she clears her throat.
"I wasn't very attentive when mother was teaching," she confessed taking me by surprise with her forwardness, "to be truthful I didn't like the idea of archery I wasn't learning with Eren and our parents thought it was best we study separately so it was odd."
"But Mama is an excellent teacher," I half argue with her before scrunching up my face, "and you excel at everything."
I hear her chuckle faintly and it makes my chest tighten happily.
"Yes," she says with a shrug, "but I don't have to excel at everything Sasha some people are just meant to have a few things they're not superb at."
It takes a moment for me to get over the internal shock of her using my name. It's been years since she's actually said it while we have a conversation and as the ache in my heart grows a little larger I realize I've missed her saying it more than anything.
"I could teach you," I offer after a moment pushing my feelings away as I look at her, "if you'd like?"
"I would," she says after a moment I can hear the smile in her voice as her eyes scan my face but then her brows furrow as if she recalls something, "I can't right now though Annie came back with me and I'm sure she's going to be waking up soon," she pauses as she looks away from me to look at the target, "we came back last night when you were sleeping but we're leaving again after breakfast."
"Oh," was the only thing I could muster as I look back at the target also, "that's fine always a next time."
"Yes," she agrees softly as she turns to leave stopping only to look back at me, "I'm glad you got your voice back I've – I've missed it."
I nod my head mustering up a smile as she finally turns to head back inside then and I pull out another arrow.
At least it's something.
For the next hour I'm releasing arrow after arrow. Eren grumpily came outside, Mikasa must have woke him up, to yell at me and tell me that breakfast was ready.
We had pancakes, hash browns, sausage links and bacon. Mama always likes to spoil everyone with a hearty meal when she can on the weekends. Though the food was good the dining table was rather awkward. Like always since they've been back Mikasa is sitting next to me with Annie next to her. I barely say anything save for when Mama asks me how I am.
I tell her I'm fine, and I know Papa knows I'm lying.
After breakfast I help Mama clean the table and wash the dishes, somewhere in between Mikasa and Annie leave. I only realize that because Mikasa surprises me with a hug from behind. I tell her goodbye and that I love her.
She tells me that she loves me too.
Though I don't try to interpret it into more than just sibling love I still can't stop the way my heart flutters.
Guilt stays with me after she is gone.
Once I finish helping Mama I accompany Papa to his study.
And here I've been for the past half hour in silence because he hasn't asked me a single question. He simply has been writing in his journal.
"Papa," I call out with a bored sigh.
"Yes Sasha," he asks without looking up.
"Didn't you want t have a session?"
"I do believe I mentioned after lunchtime," he teases slightly as he looks up, "you didn't have to come in and sit until then."
"I thought we should hurry up and get it over with," I grumbled slightly as I shift in my chair, "so shall we?"
He sighs for a moment before sitting his pen down, "I told you're mother we shouldn't have spoiled you."
I know he is teasing so I smile as I cross my legs.
"What would have been the fun in that I'm the baby after all."
"Of course you are," he chides lightly before straightening up pulling out a leather journal from under the one he was just writing in, "are you ready dear?"
I sigh at his Doctor tone and then nod my head.
"As I'll ever be."
"Alright," he smiles, "so tell me when it started."
"Let's see," I begin knowing the drill, "last year before the older two graduated."
"Mhm," he hums, "would it have to do with the fact that you and your sister were finally on speaking terms and you didn't know how to cope after she left?"
"I hadn't really thought about that," which was true I hadn't. Though it did help me think about my feelings so I look up at Papa, "why would you think that was the key reason though Papa?"
"Doctor Jaeger," he scolds me lightly as he rubs his chin, "and honestly it's something I've always wondered the two of you were close," he pauses dropping his hand, "I even believe Mikasa was far closer to you than anyone in this family."
"What about Eren," I ask tentatively taking in Papa's words.
"Mm, before you came into our lives and before Eren was sent away yes it was obvious who Mikasa was closest to him," he tilts his head then, "but when she found you in that shed I think in a way a sort of attachment grew inside her as she held you she wouldn't leave your side for the first few weeks scaring away anyone who dared touch you," his chuckle surprises me, "even your mother and I."
My heart does this flip and flutters violently but on the surface I stay composed as Papa finally looks at me.
"It surprised your mother and I when the two of you started to avoid each other," he sighed, " I even tried to convince your mother it was just something children go through and that the two of you would be back attached at the hip like you have always be, but – "
"But that wasn't the case yes I know P – Doctor Jaeger."
He nods his head a moment before beginning to write down in the journal – my journal – as he hums out a few lines to a lullaby Mama used to sing to me.
"Would they trigger my nightmares," I ask finally just to make him stop humming.
"It could be one of the reasons," he nods as he looks back up at me, "tell me what happened with Ymir."
"You think what happened to Ymir is all connected to this?"
"Yes."
Leave it to Papa to find a way to find the connection to anything and everything.
"Where should I start?"
"From that morning unless something happened before that then start from there."
"Alright," and so I did – skipping over a few details of course – as I told him about how I was already feeling agitated and that I wagered Ymir. Childish things in his opinion but still.
"I'd like to keep having these sessions," he says after I finish, "once a week on a Sunday that way it will help you."
"Okay," is all I can say I am feeling rather exhausted and I know Papa notices.
"You can go now Lunch should be ready in about two hours you should nap Sasha."
"Alright," I say as I stand heading to the door pausing only when Papa speaks again.
"I love you, Sasha."
I turn to face him as I grip the door handle with a tired smile, "I love you, too."
I exit his study shutting the door behind me quietly as I go. I am about to head to the stair leading to my room when a loud annoying voice catching my attention.
Fucking great.
"SASHA," Eren shouts rather loudly – my guess is he is by the front door, "FAGGOTY ASS JEAN, HIS BOYTOY AND ONE OF YMIR'S ONE HUNDRED SIBLINGS IS HERE FOR YOU."
I scowl as I walk from the stairs through the kitchen and stomp my way to the living room smacking Eren upside his head.
"Idiot,"I scold as he yelps, "I like it if you introduce guest properly or I'll tell Armin you're insulting her friends again."
He bits his bottom lip as Jean chuckles loudly.
"Damn loud mouth is pussy whipped ay – ow what the hell was that for Marco?"
"Be nice we're here to see your best friend."
That's Marco for you forever never putting up with Jean's bullshit.
I think they make quite the dashing couple.
"Fine," Jean sighs rolling his eyes.
"Ho," Eren laughs, "now who's whipped."
Jean and Eren begin to bicker then as Marco tries to keep the peace. I'm about to say something when a soft voice calls out to me.
"Hello Sasha."
I shift my eyes from the boys to look down at Ymir's older sister Lulu. She stands about the same height as Eren with long black hair and sharp blue eyes. Her overall appearance is quite beautiful in a way I see where Ymir get's her sense of style from because they two dress alike, but in a way I have to say Lulu is hands down more feminine.
The only way you can tell the two are siblings is the distinguished freckles the two have. In truth all of her siblings have matching freckles it's a trait they all inherited from their birth mother since Ari doesn't have any.
"Lulu," I say after a moment as I move to allow her inside, "should we fetch the boys?"
"No," she answers in a light voice shutting the door behind her leaving Marco to deal with his boyfriend and my brother, "I'm sure you and Jean will check up next time more than likely Eren will upset him."
"FUCK YOU JAEGER!"
Right on cue actually.
"See," Lulu chuckles as Eren storms inside the house whizzing past us with a slur of incoherent curse words leaving his lips.
"It was the thought that counts," I sigh as we take a seat on the couch, "so what do I owe this visit for Lu?"
"You know why," she answers shortly as her blue eyes land on me, "this is about Ymir."
"I figured as much," I sigh – again for the umpteenth time today – as I look at my hands, "how is she?"
"Mopey," Lulu chuckles, "and bitchy but that's actually quite normal."
"Mopey?"
"You're her best friend Sasha," she shrugs out, "and nothing like this has happened before between the two of you."
"I know," I say lamely as I flick my gaze to look at her, "I – if it makes any difference I feel guilty for what I did."
"I know."
"Y-you know," I stammer looking her in the eyes, "how?"
"You're father told ours about the incident you had with a tree and Connie may have mentioned your hands being bandaged when he saw you" she sighs, "Ymir feels just as guilty for pushing you she admitted she wasn't thinking clearly when you asked for a date with Christa."
"Ymir and her jealous tendencies," I chuckle out half heartily, "she doesn't hate me does she?"
Lulu takes a moment to answer just looking at me with this stare of hers like she's analyzing me and then abruptly she stands.
"You'll have to ask her that."
"Alright," I say softly as I stand beside her as well and then a thought stuck me, "wait do your fathers hate me?"
"No," Lulu chuckles as we head for the front door, "though daddy Steffen isn't pleased that you ran off dad thought it was quite funny that you finally managed to beat Ymir."
I knew I could count on Papa Ari when things were dim.
"Thank you Lulu," I smile for the first time truly in a week, "this meant a lot."
"You're practically family Sasha," she smiles as I open the door, "and you're the only one besides Christa that can put up with Ymir and her odd behavioral mood swings."
I pull Lulu in for a hug then I know I surprised her usually I ask before hugging someone, but it's nice and I needed this.
"You'll come see her tomorrow then?"
I push Lulu back slightly to look into her eyes not knowing what to say.
"You're going to have to face her sooner or later if you want to know if she hates you or not."
"You said she felt guilty?"
"She did and still does," Lulu answered as she tapped my arm as she walked through the threshold, "so come by tomorrow and talk to her."
I nod my head hope filling up my heart as I look at Ymir's older sister.
"I will."
"Alright," Lulu smiles as she begins to walk off the porch making her way to her car, "be prepared for anything though."
Before I could ask her what she meant by that she got in her car and went on her way.
That feeling of apprehensiveness began to set in as I shut the door.
"Tomorrow," I said softly, "tomorrow I'll go see Ymir."
I just hope that things will work out or I may lose my best friend.
I guess we'll just wait and see.
Author's noteage: And we are done with Chapter Three!
I hope you all liked this chapter and I know it was minor but I liked the Mikasasha moment and hopefully soon there will be more.
How did every like Ymir's older sister? Was she okay or terrible. I think I'm going to have to draw them all out alongside Ymir for her OC family because I mean they all look relatively related, depending on the dominating trait the received from their father and surrogate mother so yeah.
And the following reviewers get spotlighted:
Assassian718: You are one of my favorite reviewers and hopefully I can keep delivering more chapters for you to read. You're right about Ymir and Sasha as well as Annie she has an eye for perspective, but I won't reveal to much on that.
ScarletWolfx: Thank you for reviewing both the Prologue and Chapter One. As time progresses you'll understand Sasha's mental more and this isn't going to be a traditional happy ending, but it still will be one nonetheless.
RED TIGER SKUNK: I'm sorry Chapter Two was short and if this one was as well but I'd like to announce that the word count will vary in each chapter. As for the hinting of fem!Levi/Sasha I'd like to say yes you hinted correctly. It'll be interesting.
JonWithAnH: I've messaged you and a few others actually giving my thanks for reviewing and you did hit the nail on the head pretty hard with it. Next chapter will be their reunion so I hope I can deliver just that.
RyuravenFox: Things will work out just not to soon. Mikasa and Sasha will have a lot more moments soon and Annie will more than likely be there to cockblock.
Anyways thank you everyone for viewing I am finally over 500 views and it's more than I could ever hope for. You guys rock! The ones who review are legends and I love you all for it.
Follows and Favorites are nice and neat too. :D
Everyone knows that I do not own SnK if I did Mikasa and Sasha would run off into the sunset killing Titans and being romantic, haha sweet eh? Yay for Ymir and Christa being Canon though at least one of my ships in that show is.
I actually want to give shout out really quick to sasha-braus-the-potato-boss I was going to email you this to help me go over it but I lost your gmail and I haven't been on my tumblr much on the laptop. Next chapter I would love to have your help with editing. And thank you very much for offering assistants to me.
Love Cap'n Lynn.
P.s I finally downloaded Open Office and I like it, if there is any misspelling though I'd like to say it's my fault and I'll try to correct it.