"And when we get home, I know we won't be home at all, this place we live, it is not where we belong and I miss who we were in the town that we could call our own. Going back to get away after everything has changed."
Franklin by Paramore.
Chapter Eight: Franklin.
I feel rather groggy.
Like I've slept for a long period of time and then woke up without the ability to focus. I close my eyes again as I go to move only to halt when I realize that I can't.
Slowly I open my eyes again squinting through the darkness only to notice I see a silhouette of someone's shoulder.
"Are you awake now," a soft tired voice asks.
I crane my neck slightly running my gaze from the shoulder going over the collarbone shifting up the neck and halting as I notice through the soft ray of sunlight streaming through my window jet black hair.
"I think so," I answer swallowing thickly as I move my gaze to peer into dark gray eyes, "how long have I been out?"
"Since yesterday – it's almost eight in the morning now."
That wakes me up completely.
"I'm gonna be late for school," I go to get up but the hold on me stays causing a prickly bubble of annoyance to rise up within me, "Mikasa I'm going to be late for school," I say slowly moving my arms between our bodies as some sort of barrier to keep my thoughts in check, "please let me up?"
"Are you sure you want to go," she asks me looking worried and overall concerned which causes my heart to ache.
"Yes," I frown a moment, "it could help me keep my mind occupied," I then smile at her or well I try to, "if I start to shut down or feel like I did yesterday I'll call you."
She looks at me then face froze as she mulls over what I've said. For a moment I feel her tense, arms tightening around me protectively, as a frown becomes more noticeable.
"Mikasa," I coo playing it off mockingly as I place my hand on her cheek drawing her attention to me, "I'll be okay I promise," I pause a moment to look her in the eyes I know it's hopeless to disregard yesterday but I'm not going to let it get to me.
"Okay," she huffs out smiling at me, "but I want you to call me if something happens."
I jolt forward without thinking clasping my arms around her shoulders moving my face to her neck as I accidentally cause her to roll onto her back earning a low chuckle as she keeps her hold on me.
"Thank you," I murmur against her neck.
"You're welcome," I hear her breath out as she rubs my back a moment before pushing me upright," go get ready you'll be in time for the rest of first period if you hurry."
"Right," I shout out happily as I lean forward quickly kissing her on her cheek, pulling back a second later as I ignore the heat in my cheeks. I don't wait for her to say anything as I grab clothes out of my dresser rushing to my bathroom and closing the door behind me.
When I'm finished – which is twenty minutes later – I grab my backpack sparing a glance at my bed as I do and smile when I notice Mikasa is still there and sleeping.
I tiptoe over to her making sure to keep quiet as I lean down kissing her temple softly.
"I love you," I whisper faintly, "have a good day," I manage a little louder hoping subconsciously that she can hear me. If she does at all it doesn't show, but the way her face looks as she sleeps is enough for me so I turn around making my way out of my room.
No thoughts cross my mind as I head downstairs or well nothing in particular. Yesterday is still there it's still fresh which causes me to halt at the bottom step.
I still feel panicky and the thought of running to my room snuggling close to Mikasa on my bed crosses my mind more than once but I shake my head at the thought.
"You're stronger than this," I assure myself pushing the thoughts and feelings back, "grab lunch and ride the bike to school no biggie."
I step away from the stairs then venturing into the kitchen smiling when I see Mama standing by the island wrapping up a sandwich with a small hum before looking up at me.
"I knew you'd crawl out of bed wanting to go to school eventually," she smiles as she places the sandwich in my lunch bag, "so I thought I aught to make you lunch before heading out to see your father."
"You didn't have to do that," I sigh feeling grateful as I move away from the doorway, "I could have done that."
"I know," Mama chuckles as she hands the bag to me, "but you're my daughter and I have no problem making you a lunch seeming as I've done so on many occasions."
"I – ," I honestly don't know what to say I just stand there looking at her I feel tears well up in my eyes as I step forward moving my arms around her waist as I hug her, "you're right," I am her daughter the past didn't change that and that's all that matters.
"Alright you," Mama chuckles as she pulls me in hugging me securely placing a kiss at the top of my head, "you should get going unless you'll miss second hour."
"Okay," I mumble as I pull away from her adjusting my backpack as I slip my lunch in, "I'll be home in a little while."
"I'll be here," Mama smiles out as I walk to the garage door, "I love you Sasha."
I halt as I grip the doorknob a smile etched its way onto my face as I turn to look at her.
"I love you, too Mama."
x
Luck would have it I made it five minutes before second period started and I have been pretty preoccupied for the most part.
No negative thoughts crossed my mind as each class I've entered went over material that will be featured on our Finals.
My phone would vibrate on occasions messages from Mikasa mostly checking to see if I'm doing okay. It's borderline enduring but at the same time I feel safe? Like I know she'd be here in a heart beat if I wasn't fine.
"Miss Jaeger," my attention is drawn from my thoughts however as I look up to see Mr. Cullen eyeing me rather oddly.
"Yes Mister Cullen," I question as I look at him ignoring the murmurs from around us, "may I help you?"
"I just asked you to go over problem number seventeen if you please."
"Alright," I sigh as I look down at my paper realizing that I hadn't gone over that problem because I forgot to use the formula properly.
"Miss Jaeger," he calls out again, "do you have the answer or – "
The bell rings just in time for me to slam my folder close grabbing my belongings in a hurry as I rush out.
"Yes well see you tomorrow," I shout out in a very "Sasha" manner as I exit the classroom making my way down the hall with haste as I go to turn on the hallway leading to my locker.
As I turn the corner I halt when I see Christa standing there.
"Chris," I call out surprised, "don't you have a class?"
"Sasha," she greets me with a smile as I step towards her hesitantly, "I do have a class but I can be late for it I had to see you first."
"Oh?"
"Come on Sasha I'm not that intimating," she pouts.
"Well," I rasp before clearing my throat, "you scare the ever living shit outta Ymir so if you can do that well I mean you get the picture right?"
"That's because Ymir can be a jerk sometimes," she giggles as she shakes her head at me, "besides Ymir is the reason I'm here."
"Something the matter," I ask as I turn my body putting in my combination as I flick my gaze to her opening the door as I do.
"You know about Ymir having a – "
"Yes," I answer quickly slamming my folder into it's container as I quickly scan around the usually deserted corridor before looking at Christa, "I knew about it six months into us being friends when we spared and she," I paused letting out a breath, "well you know because I landed on her and well..."
"She had a bo – "
I cover her mouth quickly pleading with her a moment.
"Yes," I whisper into her ear, "and it's best we not talk about that out loud while we're in school."
"But doesn't everyone know – "
"No," I cut her off, "she is always last one out of the changing room opting to use the bathroom and she has been good at hiding it so let's not say anymore, please?"
"Okay," she deflates but I can still clearly see the question in her eyes.
"Wanna skip and grab coffee with me?"
"Skip," she says slowly, brows furrowed as she looks at me, "you wouldn't necessarily be skipping since your last class just finished, so I'd be the one skipping."
"That's why I said wanna as in do you want to Chris," I roll my eyes as I place my book bag in my locker opting to grab my purse to put my cellphone and wallet in, "besides I know you usually like to follow the rules but you need to live a little."
"Ya know Ymir has told me that," she giggled out before sighing, "okay but you're buying my coffee."
"Fine by me, Princess," I tease as I hold out my arm, "shall we then?"
She laughs out then only to cover hand mouth with her hand and look around the hallway. After a moment she nods her head slipping her arm in mine as we walk out together.
Wordlessly we walk to her car, a red Mazda, and once we're beside it I remove my arm from her's smiling broadly.
"Well I'll see you at Titan Falls."
"Okay," she smiles as she opens her door, "don't take to long I would like some coffee since you offered."
I shake my head letting out a faint chuckle as I turn on my heels I don't have to say goodbye because I'll be seeing her again in like twenty minutes so I mount my bike, adjust my purse and pull on my helmet.
I take a moment to look at the sky before pushing my visor down.
It look almost ominous sending a shiver down my spine.
"A storm must be brewing," I murmur as I bring my bike to life the shiver along my spine hasn't stopped so I wait a moment taking a deep breath before exhaling it out slowly.
After a moment the feeling leaves me causing me to smile as I lean forward on my bike.
I have a friend to talk to.
X
"So you're saying she wants to – "
"Yes," I groan out for the millionth time.
Christa and I have been here for nearly an hour and I have yet to understand her reasoning for it. We've discussed Ymir's biology, talked about some of the things Ymir has spoken with me about, and I think I'm losing my patience with trying to explain anymore than I have.
"Look," I sigh rubbing my forehead," I love you and I love Ymir but you're both idiots," I cringe the moment I see her flinch, "shit I'm sorry," I sigh out before shaking my head, "it is true though you're both dense when it comes to each other."
"What do you mean by that," she asked me quietly obviously hurt by my choice of words so I deflate myself as much as possible.
"I mean Ymir is," I pause leaning forward making sure only she heard me, "she's a virgin and yes I know she seems to have this reputation but you guys have been together for like a year and some odd months right?"
She nods slowly which makes me want to bash my face into the table but I just sigh again.
"I know you two have done other," I tense along with cringe at the thought before shaking my head, "the point is I know you two have done other things and that you've been craving more but look at it from Ymir's point of view," I look into her soft blue eyes then unable to find any other way to say it, "she's scared Chris that she won't know what she is doing and that you'd be unsatisfied."
"Ymir is afraid of that," she gasps out before shaking her head, "but she knows it wouldn't matter to me I mean yes I have been wanting to experience having her wholly but certainly she must know we'd be learning together."
"Then you're going to have to tell her that," I smile out feeling a tad bit envious though I push it to the side, "Ymir's my best friend and you've become a really good friend to me also so I hope you two can manage to get over this bump."
"Thank you Sa – "
"Sasha?"
A voice that sounds oddly familiar draws my gaze away from Christa as I turn to gaze into dark gray orbs.
"Levi," I question only for my eyes to widen at realization, "I forgot about our coffee date," I turn to look at Christa who is looking at me confused, "I was suppose to meet her here to uh – to talk."
"Oh," Christa mumbles a moment before her eyes to widen with my hidden meaning, "OH – well I uh I should be going since I missed two period I'll be heading home or to Ymir's."
She stands then abruptly, I do as well, before she turns to face Levi.
"Have a good day Levi," Christa spoke with an air of utmost kindness, "and please tell Petra to call me."
"Alright," Levi smiles faintly giving Christa a light nod, "I'll have more than a good day, but thank you Christa I will be sure to pass the message along to Pet."
"Thank you," Christa replied flashing Levi a toothy sort of smile as she walked over to me wrapping her arms around my waist by instinct I wrap mine around her smaller frame bringing her in for a much needed hug, "and thank you," she whispered softly which in turn earned a nod from me.
"Anytime," I answer as I push her back lightly to look her in the eyes, "don't forget what we've talked about okay?"
"I won't forget it," she smiles moving her arm up to tap mine, "I'll leave you guys to it then," I smile at her as she takes a step back, "bye Sasha thank you for the coffee and bye Levi!"
"Bye," we say in unison before looking at each other then looking away.
"So, uh," I pause a moment before looked at Levi with a small smile, "coffee?"
"Didn't you already have coffee," Levi questioned with a small smile.
"I did about an hour ago," I chuckle before shaking my head, "I wouldn't mind getting another so we can sit and chat."
"Alright," she answers giving me a full smile, "what would you like to get?"
"Oh," I hum out a moment feeling the need to use the restroom, "just mention my name everyone who has ever worked here knows what I like I need to go to the restroom really quick."
I flash her timid smile as I hurry myself to the ladies room, rushing to the stall, undoing my pants and make it in time to sigh in satisfaction.
I hadn't realized I needed to go while talking to Christa.
Standing up must have triggered the need to.
After a moment I wipe, flush, pull up my pants and exit the stall moving to the sink. A weird feeling struck me like earlier when I looked up at the sky causing me to halt my hands just before touching the knob.
"What?"
I don't know where it is coming from, this feeling, but for some reason it causes my heart to ache. I bite my bottom lip halting the quiver as I look at myself in the mirror.
"Probably nervous."
But this doesn't feel like nervous. This feelings like despair but to what?
"Levi is out there waiting."
I touch the knobs turning the temperature of the water to a more warm soothing sort of feeling as I move one hand to filling it with soap and then I thoroughly washed my hands.
As I turned off the water I look back up at my face.
The feeling is still there but I know Levi is waiting so I do the only thing I'm use to doing.
I push it aside as walk out of the restroom flashing a smile of sorts as I do.
X
We've been sitting here for forty minutes just chatting. Levi mentioned that she was currently pursuing a degree in Criminal Justice and Criminal Law to either be a Police Officer or Lawyer. Aside from the fact that she too was adopted, but kept her biological last name. The family that adopted her was in fact Petra's.
"Is that why you two are so close?"
"Of sorts," Levi sighed as she looked at her nearly empty cup, "we use to not get along I was quite terrible to her when I was first brought into the family, but she grew on me as I am sure I've grown on her."
"How did Nanabu become a factor," I ask as I lean forward keeping my gaze on her.
"He was a friend of mine in middle school," she huffed out, "was rather annoying until I realized he had a crush on Petra so I helped them become a couple."
"You played Cupid," I asked with a smile as I tilted my head, "that was rather sweet of you to do."
"I have my moments," she turned her head looking away from me clearing her throat, "she's family and that oaf head makes her happy so I did what I had to."
"I understand that," the smile in my voice is evident as I thought of Ymir and Christa, "so uhm you mentioned something about a date?"
Levi looks back at me the flush in her cheeks is still there but I keep my mouth shut as I wait for her to answer.
"I did," she answered a smile gracing her features as she hesitantly placed her hand on top of mine, "how do you feel about going to the movies and then dinner," she pauses before shaking her head, "or we can see a concert and grab dinner or go to a museum or - "
I sit there a moment trying to focus on the feeling of Levi's hand, but my heart sinks into my stomach. I don't feel that spark as I do when Mikasa touches me though the flutter is there which confuses me.
"Dinner and a movie would actually be a good start," I breathe out ignoring the confusion which earns a timid smile from Levi as I speak again, "when would you like to?"
"How about sometime nex – "
Levi does not get to finish her sentence however when my phone blares from the inside of my bag. The ring tone is Papa's which causes me to move my hand from underneath Levi's.
"My father is calling," I say as I flash her an apologetically smile as I retrieve my phone, "he doesn't call me unless it's an emergency," I say a moment after as I look up at her, "you don't mind that I take this?"
"Not at all," she smiles at me giving me an understanding look at I slide my finger across the screen putting the device to my ears.
"Yes Pa – "
"Sasha, there is no time to explain I need you to head to Trost Memorial there has been an incident."
"Incident," I question as I grip the device tighter pressing it closer to my ear, "who's been hurt?"
Briefly Mikasa came to mind, but I remember leaving her on my bed and then I think of Eren I assumed he was in bed this morning maybe he got into trouble?
"Sasha," Papa spoke using such a soft tone that caused my heart to twist, "it's your mother she – "
"I'll be right there," I stammer out unable to hear any more as I click end call shoving my phone into my purse and then look up to see the troubled look on Levi's face, "my mother she has been in an accident I think," I feel my heart throbbing painfully as I stand up, "I need to go to the hospital to see if she is okay."
"Your mother is in the hospital," Levi asked me as she too stood, "do you know the room she is in?"
"No," I said panicking as slip the strap to my purse over my head rummaging through my bag for my keys, "all I know is she is there possibly hurt and I need to be there."
Levi touches my arm then causing me to look her in the eyes.
"I understand Sasha – you're doing what any person would do when someone they care and love for is hurt and if you like," she pauses a moment before pulling her own keys out of her pocket, "I can go there with you alright?"
"You wouldn't mind," I ask feeling some sense of relief.
"Not at all," she answered smiling at me, "let's head there now okay?"
"Okay," I answer still feeling the panic in my veins but I put up a strong front as we walk out of the coffee shop.
I slip my helmet on and give her one last look as I mount my bike.
Levi nods her head at me as she slips into her car.
My bike roars to life then as I reverse and pull out of the parking lot with Levi hot on my tail.
The only thing clouding my mind is hoping that my mother is alright.
X
After making it to the hospital I meet back up with Levi.
We both head to the desk where an elderly woman sat typing on the computer.
"Uh, hello," I greet awkwardly as I place my hands on the desk, "my father's name is Grisha Jaeger he called and informed me that my mother Karlura Jaeger was in an incident?"
"Oh yes Mrs. Jaeger," the elderly woman answered giving me a sad smile, "go down the hall through the double doors and to the left you'll be in the waiting room where your family is already at."
"T-thank you," I stammer out as I move away from the woman Levi close behind me as we go into the direction we were given.
I feel like running, my heart still hammering, as all sorts of possibilities run through my mind.
"It could be nothing."
I try to reassure myself that she is fine that it could be a misunderstanding, but the feeling I felt earlier is there and much stronger than ever.
I push past the double doors automatically turning to the left as I heading through the open door revealing the waiting room.
A nurse stops me with a tight smile.
"I'm sorry only family members are allowed through here."
"My mother is in there," I say flatly as I dig through my purse pulling my wallet it flashing my I.D at the woman, "Mrs. Jaeger is my mother."
"Oh," the woman faltered before looking over at Levi, "I cannot let her through."
"She's my girlfriend," I lie gripping Levi's hand scared to be alone, "certainly she can go through with me?"
I see the look in the nurses eyes she is contemplating the answer a moment.
"I'm sorr – "
"Audrey let them through please," a voice that sounds like Papa orders.
"Doctor Jaeger," the woman, Audrey, jumps as she looks at Papa, "are you certain?"
"Sasha is my daughter she has a right to be here," he says sharply, "and so does her girlfriend now let them through."
"At once sir," Audrey squeaks as she moves aside with no further word.
"Come with me," Papa says softly as he turns heading into the room.
I look at Levi who gives me a reassuring smile but it does not ease the feeling.
X
We've been in the waiting room for nearly three hours.
No one has spoken a word and it isn't helping my nerves any.
"Is anyone going to tell me what's going on," I finally ask unable to contain it any longer.
"Do you seriously not know," Eren snaps finally which causes me to snap my gaze up at him, "mom has been in a fucking accident Sasha you would know that if you listened to dad."
"Fuck off Eren," I fire back, "he said there was an incident," I glared at him heavily than unable to keep a grip on my emotions, "everyone has been quiet and we've been here for three hours I'm absolutely clueless in all of this so why don't you fucking enligh – "
"Enough," Papa intervenes causing Levi to give my hand a faint squeeze and Mikasa to put her hand on Eren's shoulder.
"Sasha," Papa finally speaks after we both settle, "I need you to look at me," I do as he asks keeping my gaze strictly on him, "your mother was in a car accident when she was heading home," I see the pain in his eyes which rips right through me, "a drunk drive t-boned your mother's driver side and she has been in surgery ever since."
I feel my world still.
A car accident?
I don't have much time to process the information or even question it when someone clears their throat loudly.
"Karula Jaeger," a deep solemn voice asks drawing everyone's attention to an elderly man in bloody scrubs.
"That's us," Papa answer as he looked at the man concern and hope evident on his face, "Hanson how is she?"
The elderly man, Hanson, walks over to use slowly which causes me to stand letting go of Levi's hand as I walk over to be near him and Papa.
"Grisha," Hanson spoke out the look on his face held no emotion, "I'm sorry to be the one to do this to you old friend, but I'm afraid her injuries were to much for her body to withhold."
"Were to much for her body to withhold..."
Mama.
My heart is picks up in tempo.
"What do you mean," I nearly choke out.
Hanson looks at me with sad blue eyes that held so much remorse I felt my throat tighten.
"I'm sorry dear girl," he apologizes as he keeps his gaze on me,"your mother is dead."
Mama.
The woman that held me when I was scared.
Mama.
The woman who taught me how to shoot from a bow.
Mama.
The woman who loved me unconditionally since the moment she saw me.
"No," I breathe out, "this can't be right."
I go to move past Papa and Hanson a wave of emotions so strong I couldn't quite describe them.
Mama.
The woman who always had a smile on her face no matter the situation.
Mama.
The woman who spent all her time devoting herself at making everybody's lives better.
Mama.
"I'll be here."
Mama.
"I love you, Sasha."
"Mama," my voice sounds hoarse and broken as I go in the direction Hanson came from, "Mama," I repeat louder calling to her willing her to answer me.
Willing this to be a joke to not be real.
"Sasha," I hear someone shout and jump when I feel arms wrap around my waist.
"Let me go," I shout back thrashing my body as I go to move forward.
Mama.
Mama.
Mama.
Mama.
"Mama," I screech out as I push forward with the person still attached to me ignoring everyone and anything going on around me keeping my gaze ahead of me trying my damnedest to get to the door.
Eren gets moves in front of me teary eyed but I'm to far down a spiraling tunnel to give a damn, but he puts he hands on my shoulder trying to stop me.
"Sasha you need to stop this," he pleads, "she's – she's go – "
"No," I snap grabbing him by his shirt more so angry by the fact he can say it.
That he was going to say it.
"She's gone."
Mama.
I push Eren out of the way only to feel a prick on my shoulder causing my body to feel sluggish and my eye lids to feel heavy.
Mama.
Everything around me starts to drift away, the voice around me dull, but one voice.
"Sasha."
"Mama," I question with a rasp as I fight to keep my focus.
Fight against the hold on me.
Mama.
I push myself to move forward earning a gasp from those around me.
"We need more nurses in here," I hear someone yell as somebody else grabs my arms.
The mixture of emotions I've been feeling builds as I jerk my arms away from their captors moving to grab the arms around my waist wedging them away from me as I go to move. I feel determined at this point my will hasn't wavered. I'm sure this is a joke that she is fine.
That she is in that room sleeping and everything will be okay.
Mama.
I'm almost to the door my body still burning as I keep fighting against the ones trying to restrain me. By the time I'm seven steps away I'm swarmed by faceless people in my way.
"Someone get another sedative," I hear a voice shout as they begin to draw closer to me.
I let out an almost animalistic growl as I try to go through them pushing people out of my way, but as I shove the fifth person away from me someone grabs my arm, another grabs my legs and someone else pokes me with another needle this time on my other arm.
That only angers me more because the door is insight.
Mama.
She is in there and I know it.
I ignore the sluggish feeling as I start to thrash again my body feels hot and my focus is blurry but I don't let it stop me.
I don't let them stop me.
"Fuck, she is burning through it someone get a stronger dose," a deep voice shouts out this time causing the anger within me to rise once more.
I push myself up again kicking my legs free as I stumble to the door. Knocking it open only to be brought down to the ground again.
I try to struggle as I look up at the bed only to freeze.
Mama.
My world shatters as I feel several different emotions welling up inside me.
I don't have time to scream or to shout when the third needle pierces my leg.
I begin to feel sick to my stomach losing my will to fight. No sound escapes me as tears leave my eyes and I feel everything drifting away from me.
I welcome the darkness willingly hoping on the other side I'm granted something better.
But the image of her covered lifeless body is the last thing I see and I know I'm only wishful thinking.
X
I awake with a start gasping for air as I push myself up into the sitting position.
"A dream," I question out feeling a sense of relief wash over me as I look around my room wincing at the light coming from my window, "and midday I guess I missed school."
I strangely enough do not feel sadden by this as I get out of bed. I don't bother to change my clothes as I exit my room making my way downstairs entering the kitchen with a grin.
Mama is standing there by the stove making something for lunch or so I assume anyways as I clear my throat.
"Afternoon Mama," I call out happily.
"Afternoon," she repeats with a chirp in her voice but does not turn to look at me.
"What are you making," I question as I take a seat on the stool near the island.
"Your favorite," she answers out with the same chirp but it feels different almost.
"I have a lot of favorite you make Mama," I tease as I try to push away the feeling, "oh, I had a bad dream."
"Oh, I'm sorry little bear," Mama speaks a moment after the chirp is still there, "what did you dream about?"
"Well," I pause a moment the awkward feeling growing stronger, "it was the darnedest thing I basically had dream where you – died."
"Oh," she questioned craning her neck just so, "how did I die?"
"You were hit by a car," I chuckle out awkwardly the feeling growing more dominant as I look down, "I knew it wasn't real though because you're here."
I feel the air around me still.
The room grows colder and the light shifts before I can even blink.
"Right," I question.
"That's right," Mama answers causing me to smile and look up only for my face to screw into a look of horror as I see Mama bloody and mangled before me, "I'm right here Sasha."
X
"NO," I shout out as my eyes snap open going to push upright but something is keeping me down.
"Shh," a soft voice hushes, "Sasha you're okay."
"Mikasa," I rasp out as I turn my head to look at her, "where am I?"
"The hospital," she answers quietly, "you've been sleeping since..."
"Since," I question out as my ears pick up the heart rate monitor, "since when Mikasa?"
"Since they – since you rushed into," she stops letting the sentence die there which causes my heart to drop.
"So it really wasn't a dream," I feel the tear build up in my eyes as my lip trembles, "she really isn't coming back."
I start to shrink into myself feeling everything crack and break.
"Sasha," Mikasa spoke trying to sooth me but I only wrap up more into myself.
I feel the mattress shift and arms wrap around me like the day we first met. I cry then the loose feelings to great along that coexist with the hurt.
Just everything crashing down on me at once and I cry out ear shattering sobs that shake my entire body. Mikasa all the while pulls me closer and she is crying too.
Today we lost someone important.
Today we lost someone who loved us fully.
Today we lost our light.
Today we lost a mother.
"Mama," I manage out once more before a woman comes in.
I can barely see here through my haze of tears but I notice her dark hair and the softness in her sad brown eyes.
"I'm sorry but I have to do this," she spoke sadly as she walks over to my ivy causing Mikasa to hold onto me tightly.
"She just woke up Mina," Mikasa spoke out flatly keeping her protective hold on me, "we just lost our mother can't she mourn?"
"I'm sorry Miss Jaeger but it's by your father's request."
I look at Mikasa questionably but already the drug takes hold of my senses and again I'm whisked away into the darkness.
This time nothing plagues my mind.
Just the feeling of a broken heart and the bitter-sweet song of despair.
But that just seems to be the story of my fucking life.
Author's notes: And here we come to an end!
I am so sorry to just kill Karula off, but it was needed for Sasha's growth so I'll ugly cry with all of you who did.
I hope I nailed the feelings. Like the heart ache, hopelessness, despair, tragedy – just all of it.
For those of you curious about Christa asking Sasha about Ymir well it's something that came to me. Ymir basically has kept the nature of her genetic coding a secret which some would think she would flaunt it, but no. Only family members and close friends know about it.
Actually I hope this chapter made sense at all because it gave me problems. I had killed people off before – in another fiction – but this was new to me killing off someone as loving and basically the rock in Sasha's foundation. So if some parts seemed struggled it's because they were and are.
Anyways review appreciation time!
Sonic2196: The kiss surprised everyone and I am quite glad you reviewed! I hope you liked this chapter also.
Soi Yo: I'm sorry for the delay in update but yes Sasha was abused. Everything will come to light in the chapters to come though, thank you for the review and I hope this chapter was okay to you.
EvilXtwinz: Sasha is my favorite character and I wanted to do more for her by creating this. I've given her more layers this way to show she is more than what other tend to paint her off to be. I'm glad you like last chapter and was the suspense worth it?
CanaanAlphardForever: I shall keep that in mind, hopefully this chapter was okay. I know it may seem rushed but I really tried with it. As for being raped well yes she was but she managed to escape and was safely watched over by the Jaegers. You were right about Grisha and Carla being suspicious, more like they hope it will happen, but obviously it is now Grisha who will continue to hope though it will be pretty dark for a few chapters.
Thank you mate for the review and I hope this one will be alright!
JonWithAnH: I happen to love Paramore as well. Which I've graced everyone with another musical quote from them. Poor Sasha is now even poorer and I hope you liked this chapter despite the mishaps that I've forgotten to correct. Thank you for the review man!
Rosiema: Sparring of all kind will happen I have a feeling this story will be at least 22 to 30 chapters with the way I'm going with it. So there will be a lot more scenes. I have a feeling Mikasa knows about their kiss just wanting to point out since she is the one to do it. Thank you for liking this story and for reviewing I hope you like this chapter.
Guest One: Thank you! CanaanAlphradForever is actually a friend of mine who has been writing a lot longer than myself so I am quite honored that she is willing to help me progress by pointing out my errors. I'm glad you like this story and I hope this chapter wasn't a bit to much.
RED TIGER SKUNK: She may or may not help with Sasha cope. Expect either my dear and also thank you for the review!
Guest Two: I'm so very good at being cruel :} - haha kidding no I'm not. I just know where to aim when it comes to feelings, sometimes! Thank you for the review I hope you liked this chapter. :D
Anyways we all know I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, nor the characters so there is that.
Thank you for the views, reviews, follows and favorites you guys are my lifeblood and amazing and I love you, okay!?
Heh, well Cap'n Lynn is sailing off,
P.s I still make mishaps so I'm apologizing for those who notice them I'll do my best to correct them when I can.
P.P.S Thank you Marcy for helping me earlier with some of it!