James was sulking when Will came in, having used the spare key. The apartment felt like a refuge, once from his broken state, now from the frustration of having left Sonny behind. He didn't want to talk about it, though, so he started asking questions about how the break-up had happened. James replied but soon changed the conversation. Will understood and they spoke about work for a while. It was energizing and Will began looking up to the next days of work. It was a good thing as he would be alone again. He shook the felling of loneliness away. He had thought about asking James to stay over in his old room for the next days, but it didn't feel right somehow.
James didn't feel like cooking and Will was really bad at it so they ordered in. At around 10, Will's cell signaled a text 'Miss you, honey. I'm turning in. Sweet dreams.' Will hesitated, then typed 'Sleep well, my love. I miss you too.'
He was contemplating asking James if he could spend just that night. But his clothes were home. He stayed as late as he could, then drove to his building. The corridor was colder than he remembered. The light was tamer. He quickly got in and prepared for bed. He didn't sleep.
The coffee tasted bitter after the third cup. But he was dozing on his computer and he didn't feel up to ask for a day off. This was an important week for the firm. He walked like a zombie, focusing on his keyboard, thinking about Sonny. His brain had started a reluctant countdown to the next evening. 32 hours left...
He was so tired he let the car there and took a bus home. He would get it the next day and on Wednesday, Sonny would use it to drive, again to Salem. It did sound like a waste of time and gas, objectively. Sonny had been ready to make the effort so that Will could heal. But would his compassion slip away, along with these long boring commuting hours?
Back home, Will had to look around to make sure. See the photos Sonny had hung up, look for the little signs of his presence everywhere. Yet, whenever he looked down again, it all felt unreal. Sonny's love, Will's renewed happiness, it was all a big dream. The only thing he could remember were the dark moldy walls in the old building, the ache of being alone and unwanted. This felt real, depressingly so. Will knew, intellectually that he was being ridiculous, but the truth was, two weeks ago, he was lonely. The time he had spent with Sonny had been far from enough. He felt like a little kid.
Sonny didn't even call. He had sent a few short texts, adding he was going out with Chad and some friends. James was out too, looking for a rebound and Abby was with her boyfriend. So Will called Marlena. She sensed her distress but mistook it for him missing his parents. He didn't correct her. He did miss... what he never thought he had, more dreamt of... His parents thinking he's the greatest person in the world, making a big deal out of him. Of course he was too old for that, but in a way it partly explained why he had felt so abandoned. He wasn't very important. Less than his brother and sisters. Less than Sonny's friends.
The coffee finally wore off and sleep hit him while he was on the couch, watching a muted television set. He woke up with a start, a few hours later, feeling blurry and in that bad mood weird sleeping hours could get you in. He pushed the blanket away and sat up, trying to get his bearings. He looked at the blanket suspiciously. He was sure it was on his bed that morning. But he was so out of it, he might have taken it to the living-room. He wrapped up in it and opened the bedroom door.
Sonny looked adorable, all curled up, clutching his pillow, the comforter pulled to his ears. He looked a little cold, so Will tucked the blanket under the mattress and lay next to him. He was moving slowly not to wake him. But Sonny opened one sleepy eye and rewarded Will with a sunny smile. It was almost painful to realize that it was all it took to make him whole again.
They kissed lazily, too exhausted for anything more serious, although Sonny's hand went down Will's boxers at some point. "How come you're here already? You said..." Sonny put his head back on the pillow, staring at Will sideways "Took a late train. I thought I could wait until tomorrow, but we've been apart for too long. I need to see you more often." Will brushed Sonny's lips, appreciating their soft reality "Thanks, I needed you. Why didn't you wake me?" "I tried but you didn't react. I gathered you had a hard day." Will sighed. He didn't know if he should confess to his anxiety-induced insomnia. He didn't want to sound too broken. But Sonny's gaze was direct and filled with affection. Will buried his head against his boyfriend's chest and whispered "I couldn't sleep last night. I missed you too." He felt a kiss. A few minutes later, both were asleep.
The rest of the week was chaotic. Sonny changed his shifts numerous times, came home late or long before Will who had tons of work on a deadline. So Sonny did all the chores and Will felt guilty and told Sonny over and over to let him help. Sonny assured him he didn't mind. He baked cookies and pies and delicious meals and Will capitulated, thinking he could take Sonny to a great Greek restaurant in the city on the week-end to make it up to him.
Sometimes, Sonny tried to find how to commute better. The train took too long and didn't have an interesting schedule, although it would have been a resting tool. Sonny once joked he should take a boat. Will didn't joke back. He was worried.
On Saturday night, after a day where they had canceled half their plans due to Sonny napping, they sat at the kitchen table. Sonny took Will's hand and said, his voice low and sad "Will, it isn't working." Will missed a breath and felt his legs slide down the chairs. Sonny quickly added "Not us, I mean, I love you more than ever. But it's this arrangement. I'm burning out. We have to find another way. I can't stay in Salem too long but the commute is killing me." Now he didn't sound sad, rather upset and disoriented, interrupted by small sobs. There was an exhaustion there that Will wasn't used to. Sonny relied on confidence and strength, following his goals. And here he was, as lost as Will.