Ratings

(You're still reading?! Why?)

Well, my dear reader, now that we have covered the genres of , let's continue with another important topic. The ratings.

Knowing the ratings is of utmost importance. In fact, it's so important that won't let you publish any stories unless you have read and accepted the Guidelines and therefore, the ratings.

There are five different ratings which you have to know. But you can only choose four, because one rating is reserved for hardcore-p*rn, which unfortunately isn't allowed on Fanfiction. That's what other, ahem, interesting websites are there for (see Genres: 'Romance').

But let's tackle one after another.

K

The rating 'K' is the most harmless one. 'K' means that your story has to be so sweet, boring and/or utterly uneventful that little children (that haven't already learned how to properly use the Internet) can read them without being traumatised for life.

That means: no swearing, no blood, no violence in general, no sex – basically, everything that motivates people to actually read fanfictions doesn't appear in 'K'-rated stories.

The Fanfiction-Guideline tells you that your story should be appropriate for kids at the age of 5. That's nonsense. The only kind of child (read: brat) that already reads fanfictions at the age of 5 won't be the least bit intimidated by such unnecessary things as ratings. Or appropriate content.

K+

This rating at least allows you to use mild swearwords (e.g. 'sheesh') and minor violence (e.g. 'Merlin loses his balance and falls flat on his face'). Hints at the topic 'The Favourite Pastime of Adults' still are a no-go.

Fanfiction suggests appropriate content for children that are 9 years of age and over. That, too, is nonsense.

I know several 9 years old kids who know more creative and more insulting swearwords than I will ever come up with. (And yes, that is saying something.)

T

Now it's slowly getting interesting.

This rating at least allows you to use minor swearwords (but funnily enough still nothing like sh*t or f*ck, even though everybody happily uses them at every opportunity), some violence (e.g. a broken nose) and minor-subtly-suggested-but-don't-you-dare-make-it-too-obvious hints at topics that concern the origin of babies. And I'm not talking about cabbages. (See, that would be such a minor-subtly-suggested-but-don't-you-dare-make-it-too-obvious hint. I'm a master of ambiguities.)

I won't comment on the age Fanfiction recommends, I'm sure you are smart enough to guess my opinion on that matter, my dear reader.

M

(Finally!)

'M' is the rating for the older audience. No, not the Deaf-Aid-And-Dental-Prosthesis-kind of older, the Yay-I'm-Finally-Sixteen-Years-Old-kind of older.

Here is what you can do: You can swear as much as you like … but that's about it.

Still no sex, still no torture. If you want to write about these topics, you have to choose the rating 'MA'.

MA

Oh, right.

'MA' isn't allowed on Fanfiction.

Well, rough luck, my dear reader!

The True Definition of Ratings

If you now ask yourself how on earth you can write 'Tragedy' or 'Adventure' stories without torture, and how my description of 'Romance' fits into these ratings (see Genres: 'Romance'), be aware of this:

No-one ever uses these criteria for ratings. So if you are writing a story that meets the criteria of 'MA', rate it 'T' or 'M'. For a story that meets the 'M' criteria, choose 'T'. Everything else is 'K+' or 'K'.

If you still got it wrong, someone will tell you and you can still change it. (That's how I did it and it always worked.)

GUESS WHO PASSED THEIR FINALS!? That's right, I did! And with flying colours, too. (Still don't know how I managed it, though.)
To celebrate, I'm going to post two chapters today. (But only if Fanfiction lets me, of course.) And that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that both chapters are ridiculously short.