Well, here comes the next chapter. A littel heart to heart - too bad we never saw that at the show. Hope you'll like this chapter. Give me your piece of mind after reading ... would love to know what you think.

Some ideas are already in my head for the upcoming chapters. Maybe I'll get some more when watching Taylor and her band tomorrow night :)

Long talk – overdue

Nate woke up in the morning, Sage still asleep next to him. She definitely managed to distract him last night. Nevertheless he ended up dreaming from a certain blonde. And as far as he could remember – that dream was damn steamy.

Why does she mess with my head this much? It's crazy, I'm with Sage and that's all that matters. She hasn't even said goodbye back then, neither did she think to contact me properly to say hello. No, she left two years ago, and that's how it will remain – with her out of my life.

Sage woke up, and greeted him with a kiss. Only to leave the bed straight after, to get ready for her lunch with her father and Serena. Somehow it was weird that he was seeing a high school girl, which was at the same time the daughter of his best friend's boyfriend.

He had pulled up his tablet to look onto the latest news. Clearly he didn't expected what greeted him there.

„You've got to be kidding me!", he exclaimed.

Sage stopped in her tracks and turned around. „What's wrong?", she asked curiously, hoping it wasn't anything about Jenny and Nate.

„Vanity Fair published Dan's next chapter – it's about me! And it's not positive. I can't believe him! He's supposed to be my friend!", he yelled out frustrated. „I mean, first he lets me down by getting that deal with Vanity Fair, and now he releases a chapter about me. Listen to this, everything the Golden Boy touches turns to dust."

„Well, he is obviously just jealous. He is poor, right?", Sage mused while sliding next to Nate again.

„That's not the point. He can totally ruin my reputation with this article, and sadly it contains quite the truth. The Spectator is not doing so well. Now that I lost Dan's book – it really doesn't look good", he admitted, while sitting up on the side of the bed.

Sage flung her arms around Nate's back. „What can I do to help? I'd do anything to avoid the lunch with dad and Serena van der Fluffy."

„You'd better go. And be nice to Serena, remember – thanks to her we're still allowed to date."

Nate kissed her on the top of her nose, and went into the bathroom. After a short shower he was ready to face the day with all it's complications. Sage had left already.

When he entered the living room Chuck sat on the couch, reading the news papers.

„Good morning, Nathaniel. As I see your young mistress has already left", he stated nonchalantly.

„Chuck, I'm not in the mood for this right now", he replied harsh.

„Well, it's just that I was quite surprised to see her here. After last night I expected a different young lady to be around", he answered dryly.

Nate shot him a lock. „Really? Sage is my girlfriend, as you may remember. She is the only girl that will be around my bedroom. And whatever brought Jenny back, I don't care. The Humphrey's are the last people on earth that I want to be in contact with right now", Nate shot out angrily.

Chuck gazed up at him. Monitoring his best friend for awhile. „Guess you read the Vanity Fair article already. Look Nathaniel, he is a douche. There is nothing that you should worry about. So he wrote that you don't use your privileges in the right way, so what? He doesn't even have any. Dan Humphrey would write anything to get his name out there. He always did, and he always will. Tomorrow he has a new victim."

„That's exactly the point, Chuck. Who knows who is next? It could be Blair, Serena or you. And as much as I hate to admit it, he does have a point. Not everything in this article is made up. There is quite the truth in it", Nate explained while plopping on the couch.

Chuck couldn't understand where his friend was coming from. Why was he believing in those written words of Dan?

„This is ridiculous, Nathaniel. There is nothing true about this article. Why do you even think it?"

„Maybe because I have messed up. I have no big story for the Spectator. With Dan leaving, there is nothing we could report about. At least nothing that could raise our reader numbers. I wouldn't be surprised if I have to shut down the office soon", he said weakly.

„Are you serious? This is the most sappiest explanation that you ever gave me. So you lost Dan's book, so? You'll find a new story to report about. Maybe this story just got in", Chuck mused.

Nate looked up at him in incomprehension. „What the hell are you talking about?"

Chuck sighed. His best friend really wasn't the smartest sometimes. „I'm talking about the one person that entire New York is talking about today. And no, it's not you, neither is it Dan."

Nate still looked confused at Chuck, waiting for him to spill the person's name.

„I'm talking about Jennifer Humphrey", Chuck expressed annoyed. „Her fashion show is THE theme in every news paper this morning. Pretty sure everyone in the media would love to have an exclusive interview with her right now. You could get it, you know her. You guys have history."

Nate gazed at Chuck like he had grown a second head. Was he even listening to what they were talking about?

„Chuck, I guess I made myself pretty clear when I said that I don't want to talk to any Humphrey. That includes Jenny!"

„And why that? Because she's Dan's sister, or because she left without saying goodbye to you? Or maybe, because you're still into her?"

Nate got totally infuriated. „Are you fucking kidding me?!"

He shot up from the couch, and stood with both hands clenched as fists in front of Chuck, who remained seated. Watching his best friend amused while acting out.

„Why should I make jokes about such a matter, Nathaniel? I know you're with Sage now, but let's face the truth. Non of your past relationships lasted very long. And for some reason I do believe in that this young blonde girl has to do with it. I know you went through my black book that summer. Be honest, it wasn't because of your break-up with Serena, or?"

Nate was caught off guard. His friend knew him all to well. The tension, which had built up inside him, faded in an instant.

„How do you … how do you know?", he stammered.

Chuck just chuckled. „My dear Nathaniel, I'm after all Chuck Bass. And I'm your best friend. I know you better than you know yourself."

He got up from the couch, and went over to the bar. Even though it was early in the morning, he knew they would need some whiskey to have the upcoming conversation. He purred them both glasses, and went back over to Nate. Handing the second glass out to him.

„I never apologized. I'm truly sorry", he said seriously.

Nate took the glass, and looked again confused at his friend. „What do you mean?"

Chuck sat down again. Took a gulp from the liquid and faced his friend. „I never apologized for sleeping with her. We both know that she was into you, and even though you rejected her and were with Serena at that time. We both know as well that you did love her back then. So, I'm sorry. My action drove her away."

Nate had listened silently. He didn't know what to say. Never did he imagine that Chuck would apologize to him for sleeping with Jenny. This was a strange conversation, and he wasn't even sure if he wanted to continue it.

He downed the whiskey in two huge gulps. The liquid was burning in his throat.

„Why did you do it then?", he managed to ask.

Chuck shrugged shortly. „I was alone, lost and sad. I thought that I did lose Blair forever. I was drunk. When Jenny came in, looking for you, I didn't really think about it. I just wanted some company. And she looked just as sad as me, so I offered her a drink. And somehow … well somehow we started kissing."

Nate had the feeling as he was punched in his stomach. Hearing all of this … mainly hearing that she came to see him, didn't make it any better. He somehow always knew it, but to hear it confirmed. She wanted to see him that night. She always wanted him to be her first.

„Why didn't you tell her to go home?", he tried to ask as calm as possible, although his insides were on fire and close to a massive storm.

„Honestly, I didn't want her to go. She was good company that night. Nathaniel, I know you don't like to hear this, especially from me – but Jenny is hot. She always was a damn good looking girl. And ..."

„DARE YOU!", Nate interrupted him immediately. He didn't want to hear any more.

Chuck sighed. „What do you want me to say, Nathaniel? That she is ugly, that I never liked her. That wouldn't be true. I'm not proud of what I did that night. She was sort of my step-sister at that time. But as you know, I didn't force her to. She wanted it too."

Nate hit the couch cushion in frustration. He'd rather wanted to hit Chuck. But he was right, Jenny had agreed. He didn't rape her. Why? For god's sake, why?

He felt like the world was spinning around him. Although he knew for two years what had happened that night and why she left, it felt like he was hearing it for the very first time. Somehow Chuck and he had come to a silent agreement not to talk about it – til now.

„Why? Why did you do it? If you knew how we both felt, why did you do it?", Nate brought out through clenched teeth.

Chuck sighed once more. „Simple, because you rejected her, and I was willing to take what she offered that night. We both knew it would mean nothing to either one of us. It was just to fill the emptiness, which we both felt that night. I wanted to be with Blair, and she wanted to be with you. But neither Blair, nor you were there."

Chuck downed his whiskey, and got up to get himself a new glass. Holding out his hand for Nate's glass, who handed it over. His face was sad and hurt.

„You knew it was her first time, and you still went through with it. How could you do that to her? It should have been..."

„Special? You?", Chuck finished his sentence. Nate only nodded. „What can I say? I'm Chuck Bass, and at certain times – I'm still an ass. I never meant to hurt Jenny. And if it's for anything worth, I offered her to stay."

He had filled the glasses again, and handed Nate his glass over. Walked back to his spot on the couch, and sat down again.

„Nathaniel, can I ask you a question?", he suddenly asked.

Nate gazed over to him again. „Sure."

„Why does it still effect you this much? I mean, it's over two years ago. I do have my theory though. We all moved on, but it seems like you haven't."

Chuck looked Nate straight in the eyes. Nate thought about his question, but he wasn't sure what to answer. He actually didn't know why it still effected him. Maybe because she never said goodbye. Maybe because they never talked about it and he couldn't bring it to a closure. Maybe because...

„I don't know. I honestly don't know. I guess it's just that … you're right. I was into her back then. I always shoved my feelings for her aside. Scared of how strong they were. And with Dan … it was all so much and complicated."

Nate took a huge slug of the whiskey. „I loved Serena. I really did, but I guess not the way that you should when being in a relationship. I have always dreamed of being with her, and then there was my chance. Nevertheless, Jenny made me see more than once that it wasn't what I was looking for. I just didn't had the strength to end it, and follow my heart.

Remember the one morning when you found Jenny and me in bed? It took all my strengths to not touch her and sleep with her that night. She looked so damn sexy that night. I tried to convince myself that it would be best for us to remain friends. I know, I hurt her when I rejected her over and over. Truth is, she was the only one who ever fought for me – over a long period. I messed it up."

Nate finished his second glass, while Chuck was silently watching him. Thinking about his friend's latest confession.

„And now? Do you still love her today? Is that why you ran last night? Cause that's the only explanation I have for it", Chuck kept questioning him.

Nate sighed. „I don't know what it was. I like Sage, I really do. But I don't know if it's love. Seeing Jenny in that dress … with her old style. It remembered me of the time we first met, how we kissed on her first fashion show. It was just all too much. I just felt the urge to get out of there. Get away from her. I don't know why."

„You should talk to her. You need to bring a closure to it. May it be by starting over – as lovers or friends – or by walking separated ways. You'll never be able to have a healthy relationship if Jenny is still unsolved hanging over your head."

„Yeah, maybe you're right. But I guess I should think about it a little more. At least try to find out what I want to say to her. Wouldn't be smart to say all the wrong things again."

Nate run a hand through his hair. He gazed over to his friend, who was still watching him.

„So, what do I do now about the Spectator?", he asked, changing the topic.

Chuck couldn't believe this question. „I already told you. Get that interview. It will clearly get you some readers", he stated again.

„No, I'm not going to use my friends – or sort of friends – to help me out. I will talk to her to clear all things between us, but there won't be an interview", Nate clarified once more.

Chuck only sighed again. „If you say so. But honestly, I think you're making a mistake here. It's not using your friends, it's letting your friends help you to remain in business. And I'm sure that Jenny won't mind to help you out."