i know that it has been ages since ive posted anything im so so sorry! ive just been super busy lately and it sucks lol
to whoever decides to actually read this, i hope you enjoy it x
disclaimer? i own nothing but my mess
I met an older woman named Elizabeth but she insisted on me calling her Liz instead. She helped me get to the residence that I had inquired about beforehand. It turned out to be smaller than what the advert had described it out to be, but it was fine. I never had much and it was only me staying in here. It was perfect.
With nothing to do and plenty of time on my hands, I decided to clean; the place was filthy to say the least. Liz had left me with all the cleaning products and equipment I would need. She told me that I could use them and that she would come and collect them whenever she needed them again. I started to unpack my belongings and set them out around my new home. It was literally a room, a kitchen and a bathroom. It was furnished with all the basics. If I needed anything else, I'd just make a trip down to the local stores.
I moved one of the three plastic chairs out of my kitchen and outside my front door. It was a couple metres from the sea so I had a pretty amazing view. I closed my eyes, listening to the waves crash against the rocks by the lighthouse at the end of the pier. I inhaled and smelled the fresh air that was a combination of jasmine flowers and salty sea water. It was extremely peaceful here.
"What do you mean he was in trouble? What the hell do you mean?" I asked angrily. Clearly everyone knew my husband better than I did.
"Exactly that, he was in trouble. Look, I can't say anything more than that. He told me to never tell you. Even though he's dead, I won't go back on my word now. Selena, it's for your own good." Mark said.
I sighed knowing that he wasn't going to budge. I had been pressing him on this for God knows how long. "Going back to what you said earlier, I need to leave?"
"It's not that you need to but it would be better if you did. The people that Nick had issues with aren't the most pleasant people, Sel. He was planning on leaving anyways but then the fire happened..." He said as he lit up a cigarette, his sleeve lifting up exposing his detailed tattoo of a suit of clubs. He blew out the smoke. I fixed my scarf as it felt as if it was strangling me. "Although it's been six months since it happened, they want something from Nick whether he's dead or alive...You're his wife; you lived with him..."He left it open to interpretation for me. I thought back to the dark person that had pushed me back down on the night of the fire.
"Damn it, Mark. Can you not just tell me what's going on? I really think Nick wouldn't give two shits about you going back on his word now. How am I supposed to protect myself if I don't even know what's going on?" I said getting pissed off again.
"There's a reason why he never told you." He said calmly as he flicked the ash from his cigarette onto the ground. "The more I think of it, the more you actually need to leave."
I crossed my arms, feeling the drop in temperature. "How is this fair? I'm just supposed to up and move because, just because?" I raised my eyebrows. He shrugged a nod. I let out a loud huff.
"I'm sorry this has happened. The fire was a freak accident. You two were supposed to leave." He said as he shook his head as he looked at the ground. He abruptly pulled me in for a hug. "Go well, Selena." With that, he let go of me and turned around, leaving the park.
That was the last I heard from Mark. He was one of Nick's closest friends. He was Nick's best man at the wedding. I never knew the reason as to why I never told Mark about the person in the house the night Nick died. Perhaps I always hoped that it was Nick and not someone else. Either way, I never actually knew.
We dated throughout our last two years of high school and got married as soon as we could. My mom was never happy with the idea of Nick and I married. She felt I was way too young and that I needed to live my life first. Although she was not happy about it, she supported us. Who would have thought I would have become a widow at twenty-two and alone in a small, slightly rundown cottage on an island at twenty-three. I'm winning at life, right?
Bad things happen all the time, its life and it's inevitable. If things really do happen for a reason, I wonder what positive thing is going to pop out for me. It clearly hasn't worked out that way for me yet. Nothing has actually worked out for me.
I woke up to the sound of knocking at my door. I instantly got out of bed and slowly made my way to the window that was placed right by the door. I noticed the shadow that was creeping about under the door shift from side to side. I gently pulled down on one of the stings that would open the blinds. As soon as they were open, I got such a fright to see another person's face right by the window staring right at me that I flew back against the small table behind me.
Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth open in a way that looked like a circle. "Oh my God I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" Her voice was still loud even though she was still speaking to me from the outside of my house.
I opened the door. What had happened was actually pretty ridiculous that I started giggling. It could have been the shock but I was giggling away. But just thinking of the situation and seeing her face go like how it did, it was hilarious to me.
"It's fine don't worry." I said as my giggling subsided to a smile.
She breathed a smile out back at me. "Sorry to rock up at your house like this, my mom was busy so she couldn't come herself and she apologises for that." The girl seemed nervous which made my smile reappear. "I don't know apparently I need to get the cleaning stuff from you..." She trailed off, looking quite unsure of herself.
"Yeah. Yeah, it's right over here" I said as I started to make my way back into my house where I kept the crate that Liz had given me. I picked it up and brought it to her. She took it from me. "Please tell Liz that I say thank you so much."
"Will do. The place was pretty dirty, huh?" She smiled. "Oh! Before I forget, I kinda broke the tile on your windowsill. I'll come around later to fix it if it's okay with you." She said with a blush.
I turned and looked at the windowsill and sure enough one of the tiles was broken with more than half of it on the floor below. "You'd do that?" I asked as I wondered how the hell she broke the tile.
"Of course, I broke it. And I'm pretty handy if I say so myself. Can I come over as soon as I get this home and get whatever I need to fix that?" She gestured towards the windowsill.
"You really don't need to do that." I said with a small smile.
"But I broke it" She frowned. "I feel bad as it is so just let me fix this"
I cleared my throat as I looked around outside. I loved the quietness here but even so, I was wary of quietness.
"Please?" She spoke up again, somewhat asking me.
I bit my lip before releasing it to give her an answer. "Fine" I said before I realised how rude that sounded. "That would be great." I smiled as I nodded my head. The last thing I wanted was for people to give me attention because I was a bitch. I just never wanted attention full stop.
She turned to leave before turning around to me again. "I'm Demi by the way."
I knew that this would happen. I'd be a total idiot if I thought that I was going to live in a small town and never speak to anyone. Liz probably already told her my name anyways. "Selena" I smiled.
She smirked. "Pretty name" She said before she started walking towards her truck.
I waved and closed the door. I gasped as I only realised now that this entire time, I had been in my pyjamas; morning hair and breath, and all. How embarrassing, I thought as I shook my head and chuckled to myself.
While I waited for Demi to get back, I ate and got dressed. I dressed myself into a simple pair of light blue jeans and a white top. One of the perks about living in such a laidback town is that one could dress laidback every day. It's great. I had also made a short trip to the local store and bought whatever I needed.
An hour or so had passed since I got back from the store before Demi came knocking on my door again. I opened the door to find her face looking as if she had done something wrong. I chuckled.
"Broke another tile?" I asked playfully.
She frowned. "Nah, I think I squashed your flowers."
"You think?" I asked as I began looking around. I never even knew that I had flowers.
"The ones by my car...well, underneath it...I wasn't sure if you had planted them or not." She said quietly with a shrug.
I laughed loudly. The flower bed was on the opposite side of the house. "No you're alright. I'll plant more if your murders look really bad. Why did you park so far away from the house anyways?"
She looked back at her car with a frown and pursed lips. I looked at her and noticed the small amount of sun freckles that kissed her nose. I smiled.
"I have no idea" She said simply.
She began fixing the tile while I finished off a few things I wanted to get done. I wanted to rewash every item in the kitchen cupboards. Once I had done half of what I wanted to do, I popped my head outside and asked her if she'd like anything to drink. I told her that all I had was water because I forgot to buy juice and she laughed at me and told me that it would be perfect.
"So, what brings you here?" She asked me as she sat herself down on the ground to have a break. I never knew fixing a tile would require this much time and effort. I've never fixed anything like that in my life, but still.
"I wanted an escape." I said.
"From?" She questioned me.
I cleared my throat. "I guess I wanted an escape from everything."
"Why though?" She smiled.
"You ask a lot of questions, Demi." I said as I turned my gaze to the open waters.
She chuckled. "You seem interesting."
"Believe me, I'm not." I turned and smiled at her.
There really isn't that much reason to hide my background but I didn't want to gush out everything all at once. I wanted to get to know these people first. I'd be lying if the issues surrounding Nick didn't scare me. Mark made it sound like he was in some serious shit and if I'm not already, I would have soon been caught up in it too. Well, from what I had gathered. Talking to Mark was like trying to get blood out of a stone.
"Well..." She said as she picked up a tiny stone and gently threw it into some bushes ahead. "Let me the judge of that."
Demi really did seem like a good person. Everyone here seemed like good people. I hardly knew anybody here but I just had this indescribable feeling that the people weren't...shady. Although destinations like these are always like that. They always have this cliché warm, welcoming, homey feeling. If you go out into the city, you meet people that leave you feeling uneasy. These people never. That should be the worrying part though, shouldn't it?
I stared at the bushes. Maybe I should be like that stone. I internally laughed at the thought. Maybe I am losing my mind. But maybe I should be like that stone and land in the unknown. Maybe I should take a long shot and let people in. I was never good with emotions or expression anyways.
"Do you like chilling?" I heard her ask. I didn't even realise that she had started doing whatever she was doing again.
"Do I like chilling?" I let out a soft laugh, confused with what she just asked.
"Yeah" She turned to face me. "Do you want to hang out?" She smiled.
"When?" I asked.
"Tonight. It's a thing that has become a pastime for the youth here, if that's how to put it. It's pretty awesome. We just socialise, listen to music, drink, eat...and drink." She lightly chuckled. "It's usually at the other lighthouse here."
Despite my thoughts minutes ago, my winds changed in another direction. "That sounds great, it really does, but I don't think I'll come."
Her smiled slowly faded away. "Why not?"
I gently kicked a random stone that was on the dirty pathway. "I just want to get myself settled first. There's a lot to be done inside."
"Give yourself a break" She chuckled. "I'll even help you clean inside."
I smiled at her. "Not tonight." I said.
She lifted her hands up. "Fine, I won't press on but next time you're coming. Girl can't stay in this little place all the time. I'll feel responsible if you land up in a crazy house." She joked.
"Whatever" I said as I playfully rolled my eyes.
She chuckled. "I just thought I'd offer seeing as you interest me and you wanted an escape. I can take a wild guess and say that you've never been to a thing like Para' before."
She was right. Nick never enjoyed going out of the city so we never went. I tried a lot of things to try and regain the excitement we used to have in our relationship but it just never worked. I'd try and organise holiday getaways for us but he always made me cancel any form of plans. He always told me he just had "too much" to do. The months surrounding the end were weird between us to say the least. He wasn't his usual self, he was distant. Our marriage was a second-thought to him all the time. I was doing my own thing and he was doing his. We became housemates.
"Thanks for the offer though." I said.
"Next time." She smiled.
I watched her as she fiddled with the window. How were people so...kind here? Back home I would have to speak to someone through some form of social network or instant messaging application before one of us actually call the other person. I've hardly spoken to this girl and here she is, helping me. Before I matured and grew up from a slap of the real world, I used to use people. I always wanted that "I did this for you so you gotta do this for me" type of thing. And I got it. I hoped that wasn't the case with her here now.
"What are you going to do here?" Demi asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you gonna work or do you have this huge lump sum of money that you got from, like, a great family member's inheritance or something?" She asked with a chuckled. I stiffened.
I really did have a huge sum of money in my account. I was shocked when lawyers informed me of Nick's will. It wasn't like he was sick and it wasn't like he was old. He was just super prepared I guess. He was sorry that he wasn't able to take of me while he was alive so he hoped he could take better care of me when he wasn't around. That's what the lawyer told me. I was shattered.
"Hopefully I'm going to find work." I answered her. "What do you do?"
She dropped the screwdriver that she was using into the box on the ground. "I don't really do much. I worked a few jobs here and there, but I just never really found what I wanted to do until only recently."
"Which is?" I asked, interested to know what she does.
"Stripping." Demi replied simply.
I opened my mouth to respond but I never had anything that seemed logical to say so I closed my mouth, raised my eyebrows and cleared my throat. "That's...pretty cool." I settled for.
"Yeah, it really frees the soul and it's a great form of exercise and I'm totally bullshitting you right now, oh my God." She said before letting out a loud obnoxious laugh. "You're not really subtle when you feel awkward, huh?"
I let out a laugh of relief. I don't have anything against strippers, everyone has their own professions and what not but it only made me think of the time Nick told me that his business partners took him and another co-worker to a strip club. I wasn't too chuffed to hear that. He reeked of alcohol, perfume and cigarette. It wasn't the most pleasant memory. Plus, it's not every day that someone will tell you that they're a stripper.
"You've got bad jokes." I said.
"I'm sorry," She said with a chuckled. "I signed up for a photography course on the mainland and I absolutely loved it. I always loved photography. But after the course, I just seemed to have a deeper knowledge of it and I fell in love again." She shrugged.
"I would never have taken you being into photography." I said as I got up off the chair and stretched my back.
"Oh?" She quizzed.
"Yeah, probably a stripper but not a photographer." I joked, walking inside. The sound of her loud laugh travelled through the door, following me. I smirked.
"And you say that I have bad jokes. Anyways, I fixed your tile. I also fixed your window latch. It looked like it needed some tinkering." Demi made her way through the door and into the kitchen, setting the empty glass down on the counter. "Thanks." She said gesturing to the glass that had previously been filled with water.
She walked out the door again, picking up all of her belongings that were on the ground by the window she was working at.
"I should be thanking you. You didn't have to do that, I appreciate it." I said as I walked her to her truck.
"I'm easy to find around here so come find me if you ever need anything." She said as she finished putting the crate in her truck. "Enjoy the rest of your day." She smiled at me as she closed the door and started the engine.
"Likewise." I said with a smile and a nod.
Demi hooted as she pulled away and made her way down the road. I let out a heavy breath, somewhat relieved that she left. She seemed as if she could become a potential friend around here but I just wanted to focus on myself right now and be alone.