Gosh, I can't believe it's taken me almost one month to upload a new chapter. I'm so sorry!
But first:
ATTENTION, IMPORTANT INFORMATION!
The Chapter "Abbreviations" will probably be updated from time to time. Should I find new abbreviations (or should any of you find them and send them to me), I will of course insert them with suitable (ahem) explanations.

Ur friendz: gramar & ortografy

Since we already looked at stupid and unnecessary abbreviations, let's just stay in this clime and have a look at grammar and orthography.

Because the plot of the story is not the only thing to matter in order to become a successful writer. No, my dear reader, you also have to mind your writing style! Nobody wants to read a story if the deciphering of one sentence takes them half an hour.

Also, it's kind of hard to get reviews if your readers' brains bleed out of their noses because they try to escape the torture of having to deal with stories so abysmal one sentence of them can lower the IQ by ten points.

Beta-Readers

Beta readers, short betas, are people with an extraordinary sense of altruism. They willingly risk eye cancer and stultification on a daily basis to save from horrible cacography and atrocious grammar mistakes. They don't even charge anything! (My own beta probably has an unquenchable thirst for my blood by now, though.)

So if you want to publish a story, first send it to a beta. They will read it and correct all the mistakes you've made.

You may think now, "But I don't need a beta, my English / French / Swahili is perfect!"

My dear reader, please get a beta anyway. Nobody is perfect (except me, of course,) and everyone makes a mistake sooner or later. Even if it's just a little typo or a forgotten word, the story will make a better impression if it's flawless.

(Also, if there still are some mistakes, you can always blame your beta.)

But since the Internet is full of idiots, some people publish their stories without a proof-reading anyway.

These people can be easily detected and categorised.

WARNING: I assume no liability for mental, emotional or physical damage caused by reading the following categories! You have been warned!

ThE tRoUbLe WiTh tHe CaPiTaLs

some people obviously are not smart enough to take a look at their keyboard before writing. that is the only explanation that justifies texts like these. those people simply don't know what the shift key looks like and what it does.

it doesn't matter whether it's the start of a record, a country, or a name. everything is written in miniscule.

my recommendation for this category: a magnifier.

JUST THE OPPOSITE ARE THE CAPS LOCK PEOPLE, WHO ONCE ACTIVATED THE CAPS LOCK KEY BY ACCIDENT AND NOW DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF AGAIN. THIS ALWAYS GIVES THE READERS THE UNPLEASANT FEELING THAT THE AUTHOR IS YELLING AT THEM FOR NO GOOD REASON.

MY RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS CATEGORY: A COMPUTER MANUAL. AND WHISPERING.

OS H/C MxM M/A crack R&R DLDR :3

Another special cat that whumps the reader w/ an overuse of ff slang (see Abbreviations). Tis phenomenon usually appears in the fics of younger writers who haven't learned yet that netspeak is not actually used 4 continuous txt.

The fav readers of those fics r cryptographers, cuz deciphering these txts is almost as much of a challenge as puzzling out Egyptian hieroglyphs.

My recommendation 4 this cat: 1337

47 134$7 74|-|7 100|$ !|/|73®3$7!|/|6.

Punctuation Is Overrated Exclamation Mark

Some people are unable to use punctuation and therefore just write on and on and on without stop because who needs commas or periods really if you can just do it like this that saves you at least half a second typing time per paragraph or it would save the time because paragraphs also are a complete no go in this category and if you my dear reader are really unlucky they also dont know how to use the space key resultinginagigantwordmashthatissounreadableyoullgeteyecancerjustbylookingatit

myrecommondationforthiscategorie beblindordontreaditinthefristplace

Wotz a Spelin?

(Ah, my favourites!)

Tis categorie standz out due 2 outragus ortografy. Its very simila 2 teh abreviaton luvrz, but uses mor mispellt wordz & numbaz insted off actual abreviatons. (Me spelin programm's killn me rigth now, I hop teh mispellerz hav 2 sufer teh same.)

Tis typ of wrytin is usualy fount in txts of peoplz who eiter nevr went 2 shool or tink their 2 cool 4 propr wrytin. (Srsly, wrytin lik tis taks mor time tahn jus wrytin proprly!)

Me recomodaton 4 tis categorie: compuzory enlish / frensh / suahily lesonz!

TeH UlTiMaT h0r0r!11!1 :O

(Now things get really ugly. Remember, I assume no liability!)

teh ultimat h0r0r r writerz wh0 up mix every categ0ry 0f teh 0nes listet ab0v they hav n0 capitalz n0 punctati0n teh gramar is absend & teh spelin h0rible 2 mak w0rs maters thes txts 0ften r 0verfl0wd w/ em0ticonz :O makin it realy hard t0 mak 0ut ANYTING AT ALL!111!11! :(

my rec0m0dat0n 4 tis categ0rie arest tehm 4 rape 0f teh enlish languatsh & f0rbit tehm 2 evr agan wryte :)

(Please excuse me for a minute, I'm off to have my eyes replaced. My old ones just burned out of their sockets.)

And just because I know that nobody will actually make the effort to decipher this text, here's the translated version:

"The ultimate horror are writers who mix up every category of the ones listed above. They have no capitals, no punctuation, the grammar is absent and the spelling horrible. To make matters worse, these texts often are overflowed with emoticons, making it really hard to make out anything at all.

My recommendation for this category: arrest them for rape of the English language and forbid them to ever write again."