Chapter 20 – Mothering Instinct (EsPOV)
I waited anxiously after I knocked on the door. I wanted to see the girl desperately, but I questioned if I was doing the right thing. From what Carlisle and Edward had said about her, she was easily frightened by other people and I didn't want to do anything to scare her off.
Alice had told me it was fine and that I should go for it and I took her assurance as a going ahead; she did see the future after all. But Edward was the closest to the girl, so surely he should have had a say in my visit.
Edward's call of, "Come in," interrupted my worried thoughts and I cautiously opened the door. The girl's eyes were wide and fearful, trained on me, as I walked into the room. The deep brown colour of them shone brightly as she gazed up at me. Edward was quiet by her side, watching her attentively after sending me a message with his eyes.
I couldn't help but admire how caring my son was around her, so tender towards her. And she was very beautiful, despite the dark circles apparent beneath her eyes and the unhealthy pallor of her skin.
We both waited as the girl continued to stare at me wide eyed. Finally, she slowly relaxed and turned her inquiring eyes to Edward. I breathed a silent sigh of relief as my son smiled at her.
"Angel, this is my mother, Esme," he explained to her softly in his velvet voice. I smiled at his name for her, but I knew he wished more than any of us to know her real name. But none of us knew anything about her.
She blinked at him, in a message of understanding, and lifted her head to face me. For a moment she just looked at me, but then she gave me a small, tentative smile. I smiled back at her, hoping to comfort her in some way.
"Hello, dear," I said, keeping my voice calming and quiet, "It's wonderful to meet you."
The girl paused briefly at my words, tilting her head, before she gave another tiny smile and slight nod of the head. She was so sweet and innocent, I thought. Even though she wouldn't speak for whatever reason, she was still acknowledging me in her own way.
The corner of Edward's mouth lifted at my thought and he stroked the girl's hair with his hand. His other, I noticed, was clasping hers tightly. It was surprising how she accepted and trusted him so quickly and easily.
Emmett and Jasper had spoken of how terrified she was when they found her, growling at them as they tried to near her, and Carlisle had informed us all of her physical condition. But even though she appeared to trust Edward, she was still clearly afraid of the rest of us and she had yet to speak a single word.
I looked to Edward quickly. I'm sorry for just coming in here, I thought, I was waiting downstairs and Alice came up to me, suggesting that I come up here. I don't know what she had planned for this.
He nodded his head to me with a small smile. "Did she have a vision?" He asked, speaking too quietly for the girl to be able to hear.
No, not that I know of, I told him, but she could have easily had one and not told anyone. Alice was known for keeping things to herself if she thought it would interfere with the future and we all understood that.
Through our exchange, the child kept her eyes on us and now she glanced at Edward with a curious expression. I wondered if she had noticed out silent communication somehow. She seemed quite perceptive and intelligent from the depth of her eyes.
Edward looked down at her and smiled, playing with her hair. The girl didn't seem to have any problem with the action, if anything his proximity seemed to be a comfort to her.
I quietly moved closer to the bed and took a seat on the foot of it. The girl tensed again and the sound of her heart beat increased. I paused and Edward's free hand hovered over her arm, ready to soothe her.
But the reaction proved to be unnecessary as she managed to calm herself down. Edward eased up as well, but stayed close to her. I couldn't help but notice how everything he did revolved around her in some way. It cemented my hope that my first son might have finally found someone to be with just a little bit more.
Do you think it would be okay if I talked to her for a bit? I asked, wanting to make sure it would be okay because he knew her better than me.
He smiled and nodded slightly, gazing back down at her with adoration. I felt a swell of motherly affection at the look on his face and a smile crept onto my face unbidden.
"We've all been worried about you, dear," I said, turning back to the fragile human child on the bed. She stared at me with a small frown on her pallid face. I was confused, not understanding her response.
Edward frowned as well at seeing the look on her face. He reached out and touched the furrow with one finger. Instantly, it smoothed out and her head rolled to the side to face him.
The way she stared up at him was reminiscent of how he had looked at her earlier. They were both meant for each other, I just knew it; somehow it would work out.
"They all want to know how you're doing," I continued as if I hadn't seen their interaction, though I smiled inside at their play of affection. "And they want you to get better," I added, "So do I."
She flicked a glance up to Edward and he ran his thumb across the back of her hand. It was difficult to hold a conversation with someone when you were the only one talking, but now I wondered if her trust in my son was more to do with the subtle, physical gestures they exchanged.
Edward looked at me in surprise, most likely having caught my last thought, to my embarrassment. It was just a thought, Edward, I thought to him, not wanting to have him upset with me for analysing and commenting on his behaviour with the girl.
But he didn't seem upset, more contemplative. Perhaps he thought my suggestion was more accurate than I had intended. He nodded vaguely, but didn't say anything.
Instead, he turned back down to the girl and picked up my conversation. "They keep asking for check-ups on you," he said carefully. He was clearly trying not to overwhelm her, another thing to admire.
She blinked at him and cocked her head curiously. Edward smiled to himself as he responded, as though she had asked something verbally. "Yes, they've all taken an interest in you, especially Alice," he spoke softly, "I think she wants to see you as a sister."
I knew that my youngest daughter already did see her as a sister, but I wasn't going to say anything. She got a peculiar look on her face as her eyes blanked out. She looked like she was remembering something.
She stayed like that for a few minutes and I could feel Edward growing more anxious as he shifted beside her. Eventually, he gave up being patient and gently shook her shoulder. "Angel?" He called worriedly.
She snapped out of it as soon as he touched her and she shook her head lightly, as if to clear it. I watched sadly as she smiled at him, obviously trying to reassure him, but I wondered what she had been thinking about.
I wanted nothing more than to pull the small girl to me to hug her and comfort her. But I knew I couldn't do that because she didn't trust me enough yet. I would just have to change that, given time, and I hoped I would have the opportunity.
The girl blinked heavily, suddenly looking very tired. Edward stroked her hair, humming slightly, and her mouth opened in a tiny yawn as her body relaxed.
"You're tired," Edward noted, speaking to her softly. She only blinked at him sleepily, like a very young and endearing child. He moved back from her a bit and I saw her frown at him, her expression slightly worried and then she glanced at me.
"I think we'll let you rest," Edward said quietly, laying a hand on her cheek. "You need to sleep." He seemed reluctant to leave her and I understood that. She was vulnerable and afraid and he wanted to protect her.
She yawned again, her eyes falling shut before she struggled to open them again. "Shh," Edward hushed, rhythmically smoothing her hair back as he started humming softly. I recognised the song as the one he had been composing on the piano earlier.
A lullaby, I realised. He had made it for her. And it was serving its purpose. The girl's eyes were drooping as she stared blearily at him. Slowly, she began to succumb to the sleep her body desperately needed and her eyes slid shut.
Edward kept singing and stroking her hair, his eyes trained on her peaceful face. They both looked so beautiful together; my son gently soothing the poor, lost girl. I could see the connection between them, even if they were unaware. She was relying on Edward and he was taking his responsibility seriously.
I tried to keep my thoughts to myself so I didn't put Edward off. I knew how insistent he was about being fine on his own and I didn't want to cause him to draw back now when he was so close to falling in love. I wasn't sure if he could even separate himself from her anymore.
Edward pulled the blue blanket up over her shoulders, carefully wrapping her up so he didn't disturb her. Then he surprised me, and I'm sure his self as well, by leaning down and tenderly kissing her on the forehead.
He lingered there for a moment before pulling back and lightly stroking her face. He stayed there for a further minute before clambering off the bed and standing straight beside it. His gaze never once left her sleeping form.
I stood as well and moved over to him. He looked up as I approached and smiled slightly. Though he looked dazed, I was ecstatically happy to see the content, peaceful expression on his face. It was one I had not seen before and was much preferable to the scowl he usually bore.
I smiled back, placing a hand on his shoulder. No words were said as he looked down to the girl once more as he silently picked up the plate left on the bedside table and led the way to the door. I followed him after casting the unaware young girl a soft, loving look.
"She's so fragile," I fretted when he closed the door. It had worried me when I saw the state of her as Edward carried her into the house, but now, having seen her, I really understood what we were all worried about. This girl was going to need a lot of recuperating.
Edward sighed. "I know, Esme," he shook his head, "Believe me, I know." He looked back at the door to his room where the girl was sleeping soundly and then down to the plate in his hand.
I noticed that it was still full, exactly as I had given to him. "She didn't eat anything then," I guessed sadly.
"No," he whispered, staring at it despondently. "I tried, honestly I did. But I don't know what to do short of forcing her and I can't do that," he said desperately, "I can't do that to her, Esme. And...God, Esme, I'm just so worried about her." He looked like he was about to cry.
"Hey," I comforted, placing my arms around him in a motherly embrace. His own strong arms came around my waist and held me as his head rested on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Edward," I tried to assure him, "She'll get better and everything will work out fine."
I pulled back, keeping my hands on him to hold him at arm's length as I inspected his tense and worried face. "It'll be fine, trust me," I told him.
He smiled and gave me another hug. "Thank you, mom," he whispered so quietly that I am sure I was the only one that heard him say it. "And thank you for talking to her. She likes to listen to me talk and I think that might be a good way to get her used to other people. She was more relaxed with you than she had been with Alice or Carlisle. Must be your motherly ways," he chuckled with more volume.
I laughed too, but I was delighted to have been able to help in some small way. "You're more than welcome and so is she," I answered. I would do anything for any of my children and that included the young fragile girl, my dear sweet Edward had taken a liking and protective nature too.
Maybe something more than just a liking to, my heart still heart whispered.
"Thank you," Edward gave me his slightly crooked smile, "I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
I just smiled again. I believed that she would, but right now she was fearful. In time she would get better and become part of the family properly. And a part of Edward's life, permanently. A mother's instincts were never wrong.