Emily had been invited out for lunch with Spencer, and she'd happily accepted. The brunette made her way inside the Hastings home, spending some time with Spencer; it had been a while since they'd seen each other.
"So, school shopping I see?" Emily couldn't help but chuckle as soon as she saw all the binders and new bags that the brunette had bought, of course, Spencer nodded and confirmed Emily's remark.
"Everything is on sale, plus, I'm actually excited to go back to school. I really must be crazy." Spencer laughed, a small chuckle escaping her lips.
Alison felt so alone. The girls had pretty much shut her out following suit with Emily. But could she blame them? She was the lying, manipulative queen bee and Emily was the sweet, lovable, innocent one. The blonde stared at the ultrasound for a long while before she finally changed and headed back out to her car. "The bill is going to mailed..." She suddenly thought. "Shit." She mumbled, realizing her dad was going receive her medical bill and be furious with her.
Emily finally went out for dinner with the Hastings family, it felt as though she was finally able to smile without having to fake it. After eating and coming back from one of the fanciest restaurants in Philadelphia, the two girls found themselves sitting in the backseat, silent, until Spencer decided to ask.
"Em, how are you and Alison? You haven't talked about it, and I don't see you two together anymore..." She whispered to her quietly, not wanting to startle Emily who clearly didn't want to talk about it yet.
"It's complicated, Spence. I guess it just, well..." Tears were forming over Emily's eyes, Spencer hugging her to comfort her. The hug felt nice, it was very well a much needed one at that.
"Dad, drop us off at Alison's, please." Spencer asked, wanting to speak to Alison to know exactly what was going on. Of course, Peter; her father, agreed, and once arriving at Rosewood, dropped the girls off there.
Alison finally arrived home and slammed the door angrily behind her. Kenneth heard Alison return and walked over to greet her. "Al? What happened? Are you feeling better?" He asked, truly concerned. "I'm fine, dad. They didn't find anything wrong." She lied like the doctor visit had been no big deal. But the ultrasound in her purse was a like a heavy weight on her shoulders. Now there was no escaping the truth and soon her dad would know. "I'm not hungry for dinner." She quickly added, heading upstairs and locking her door once more. She pulled out her phone and checked it. Of course, no new messages. She was completely and utterly alone and it was killing her. The blonde had never felt so vulnerable in all her life and this time it was her own undoing; she couldn't even blame -A.
As soon as Peter dropped the girls off at the DiLaurentis house, he kept driving and parked in the Hastings parking lot. Spencer turned to Emily, nodding; finally knocking on the door as Mr. DiLaurentis answered, Spencer spoke enthusiastically. "Hi, Mr. DiLaurentis, how are you?" Spencer was quite the social butterfly, which was odd on her part. Kenneth welcomed them both inside to sit in the dining room, striking up a gentle conversation; though he kept eyeing Emily from time to time, she knew that he had so much to ask, she felt uneasy, just wanting to leave. "Oh, could I see Alison, please?" Spencer asked politely, Mr. DiLaurentis agreeing, walking to the bottom of the stairs and calling out his daughter's name.
Alison groaned and finally opened her door to drag herself downstairs. "What could it possibly be now." She thought, annoyed that she couldn't just be left alone in her misery. Her eyes were stained red from the tears she'd been crying and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. The blonde felt weak and she was shivering a bit too, probably a sign of making herself sick by not eating or sleeping much. She wrapped a blanket around her body and made her way downstairs, only to be greeted by both Spencer and Emily. Instantly she felt a mixture of feelings, a bit of happiness upon seeing Emily, but utter misery knowing this wasn't going to be good, and surprise that it was Spencer, the one who disliked her most amongst the girls, that came to see her. "Spencer. What are you doing here?" Alison spoke barely above a whisper, too weak to even bother hiding how vulnerable she felt.
Emily silently stood between Mr. DiLaurentis and Spencer. Upon seeing Alison; her heart began to race, almost like it was going to jump out of her chest. "Damn." The brunette thought to herself, Alison really looked miserable.. and exhausted. Emily took a deep breath, a mixture of emotions beginning to fill up her body, she had no idea how this would turn out to be, and it scared her.
"Your room, Ali?" Spencer hinted out, not speaking loudly. After seeing Alison agree, Spencer followed her up, however; Emily stayed back.
"Em, come." Spencer insisted, grabbing the brunette's arm, they all walked upstairs and made their way to Alison's room, closing the door afterwards. Spencer did seem concerned about the two girls, however she knew how dramatic Alison could be, therefore she kept her walls up.
"I can't do this. I can't be here." Emily spoke loud enough for both of the girls to hear her.
Alison didn't want to deal with whatever Spencer had to say. All she wanted was a chance to make things better with Emily. She knew she couldn't fix anything but surely they could somehow get better. Alison could tell that Emily too hadn't been sleeping well, though she didn't look as miserable as Alison did. "Yeah. Okay." The blonde reluctantly agreed. She was disappointed to see that Emily wasn't going to come up but she couldn't help but like Spencer just a tiny bit in that moment for making the brunette come along. Alison slammed her door shut and sat down on her bed, looking at both the girls. "Let her go, Spencer. Emily hates me and I don't want to hurt her anymore than I have." Alison whispered in a completely defeated tone. She couldn't bare to see Emily so miserable and she knew no good would come from forcing her into anything she wasn't ready for.
"I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed in you, Alison." Emily finally spoke to the blonde who sat on her bed in front of her. She ran a hand through her hair and then turned to Spencer, who seemed to be utterly confused about the whole situation. "It's complicated, Spence." Emily admitted, sighing and turning around, her back to the two girls who were in the room with her. She had no idea if she had enough courage to completely explain the situation to Spencer, but she knew that the Hastings girl knew more than she led on.
"No, I get it. When it has to do with Alison, it's always complicated." Spencer spoke, not wanting to be rude. "You're both messes, you both haven't slept in days, I know something happened between the two of you; it's always been obvious that something has, but not something this big.." Spencer's words fit the situation properly, speaking from what she saw.
"That's almost worse. At least if you hated me, I'd let you go even though it would break my heart. Disappointing you means, I'll have to see that in your eyes and hate myself for the rest of my life." Alison replied, her voice still very weak and quiet. She buried her face in her pillow and only looked up to give Emily a look not to tell Spencer about her pregnancy. The blonde wasn't ready for anyone but Emily to know right now. She wasn't even sure whether she wanted to keep the baby yet. Alison finally sat up again and took a deep breath. "You're right, Spencer. I'm a mess without Emily." She finally admitted, though she had no idea what else she could say. She knew she'd screwed up big time but she couldn't give up on Emily, not until the brunette told her she'd given up on her for good.
"It looks like my work is done here. I'll let you both talk. Emily, text me later if you want to come by and watch a movie, my parents keep asking about why you don't come over as often anymore." Spencer turned around, hugging the brunette who once again had tears in her eyes; she then walked out of the blonde's bedroom and headed home. Emily and Alison were now alone in the same room after a week of not talking. Alison would probably be around 6-7 weeks pregnant. It was all the brunette could think about. She still had her back turned to Alison, knowing that the waterworks would begin to flow once they both made eye contact again.
"Yeah. Thanks Spence." Alison politely thanked Spencer for bringing Emily over and awkwardly hugged her before showing her out. She turned her attention back to the brunette who looked ready to burst into tears. "Em..." Alison sighed deeply and dug into her bag for the ultrasound. "I know you probably don't want to see but I went to the doctor today. I got this." She handed over the ultrasound and waited, giving Emily the time to process and respond. Alison couldn't help but feel anxious, afraid that showing Emily that there was no doubt that she was pregnant might make things so much worse. But at the same time, if she was to keep the child, she wanted to share every moment of the baby's life with Emily.
Emily really had no idea of how to react with Alison in the very moment that was going on. "So you really are..." Emily whispered to Alison, sighing once she took hold of the ultrasound and looked at it for a short moment. It was true, she was just over 7 weeks pregnant, and it hadn't even sunk into the brunette's mind yet. She didn't have any words to say, she kept her eyes on the little fetus, which was developing inside of Alison's stomach. Still wishing this wasn't true, Emily gently placed the photo over the edge of Alison's bed, finally turning around to look at her. "I-.. I don't know what to say about this, or what to say to you." Her tone of voice was hurt, disappointment in her eyes.
"I don't know what I can say either, Emily. I messed up and all I can say is that I'm sorry I ruined us. I'm so sorry that I acted upon my drunken state of stupidity." Alison knew that an apology was only a small start. The blonde was well aware that Emily wasn't just going to forgive her overnight if she ever did forgive her. Alison took the photo and shoved it back into her bag. She didn't want to look at it anymore. It only made her remember that the developing life inside her had ruined her own life already. "No one even knows yet. I don't know how I'm going to tell dad. Emily, I don't even know if I want to keep it." Alison couldn't even think of calling the fetus anything but "it." She knew if the baby was to be born, she'd love her child like any good mother but at that moment, she simply hated the unborn child. She just wanted to erase the pregnancy all together.
"Stop, please, just.. stop, don't say anything else." Tears finally began to roll down Emily's cheeks and onto her chin, some of them hitting her shirt. She couldn't bare to listen to Alison speaking; especially about her pregnancy and such. It still killed Emily inside that she'd rejected Paige that night while the blonde was getting it on with Noel; it made her feel sick to her stomach. She knew that Alison had acted stupid in her drunken state; and Alison knew that too, but it still killed her inside, more than it should. Emily really was in love with this girl, and it took every ounce of energy to tell her what she said next. "Maybe.. uhm. Just take care of yourself, Ali." Emily finally turned around and placed her hand over the doorknob, a tap on the shoulder stopping her from leaving, however.
Alison stopped speaking when she saw that her words were only breaking Emily even more than she already had. The blonde wanted to reach out and wipe away all of Emily's tears but she just couldn't when she knew she was the cause of them. She could tell that the brunette just wanted to leave. It was hard on the both of them but what Alison hated most was that Emily couldn't even bare to be around her anymore. "Emily..." Alison whispered but she had nothing to say that could change how the brunette felt. When Emily decided to finally leave, Alison stood up. She had to stop her somehow. The blonde gently tapped on Emily's shoulder and weakly, practically begged. "Please don't leave."
"Why. Why would I stay?" Emily mumbled out. She was really upset that Spencer had dragged her over there, especially that she'd left and let the two girls to talk when Emily clearly didn't want to be there. The brunette moved her shoulder to the side and sighed, avoiding contact with the blonde at all costs. "I look at you, Alison, and I only picture you and Noel, and this.. and this baby that I have nothing to do with it, with this.. why would I stay around and live with this when I can just go on and try to not think about it.. even if it kills me to the fact that it hurts to think about you..." Emily felt tears fall over her eyes once more. She turned around, the pain in her eyes visible.
"Because I love you. That's why. Do you think I want to have a child, much less /his/ child? This is killing me too, Em. But what's the most awful part is losing you. I mean I don't even want to keep it. I don't want to be a mom right now. My dad is going to kill me when he finds out. You can walk away and have your parents love you and support you. But I have nothing left. I'll have nowhere to go and do you know that none of that matters to me? I just don't want to lose you." Alison let her emotions out for once. She hated to express any type of emotional sentiment but she was losing the brunette. The blonde just had to do something. She slowly sat down on her bed and let the silent tears that had formed roll down her cheeks, not even noticing them anymore, as crying had become such a regular thing for her lately.
"Killing your own unborn child because of a mistake YOU made really does sound like the typical you." Emily sighed, wiping her own tears from her eyes. She tied up her hair in a messy bun and let herself for once this week; feel bad for Alison. "Your dad would never EVER kick you out, Alison. He'd be upset, and he might not talk to you for a bit, but he'd help you. There are so many support groups and other people from your family that would help you too, I know it." Emily tried to be as optimistic as she could, even though she knew deep down that what she was saying was not going to get through to Alison. All she could do was try to regain her composure; hoping for the best.
"My parents wanted to send Jason away for his drinking problems. Do you really think my dad would keep around his pregnant daughter? My family is one to send their problems away so they won't have to deal with them. Dad is going to find out when the medical bill comes anyway and what about this town? How am I going to face everyone who already wants to take me down with a child on the way? I already failed to protect you. How will I protect a child when someone wants my life?" Alison let herself fall apart and voice all the thoughts that had kept her awake lately. She let the tears stream down her face as she hugged a pillow to her chest. "Don't you think if I had some choice, I'd make it. But you got to leave, Em. You're the one with a bright future. You'll go to Stanford and you'll find happiness. I won't let my mistakes ruin your life too." Alison knew in that moment that she loved Emily enough to give her whatever she wanted, even if that was for her to let go.
Emily really couldn't believe what she was hearing. Alison was telling her to just go to Stanford and to forget about practically having a future with her. She shook her head in disbelief, starting with one thing. "Whatever your bill is, I'll go to the office and pay for it, at least let me do that. I don't care how much it costs. At least you wont have to worry about that, okay?" Emily tried to at least comfort her with one thing; even though she knew that Alison was so stubborn and wouldn't let her pay. The brunette, however; would make her way to the doctor'' office to pay anyways. She finally walked right in front of Alison, trying to speak words of wisdom. "It'll be alright, okay? No matter what. You're a fun person, you're smart, and you're gorgeous; you'll get around somehow, I just know it."
"You're always so positive, Em. I wish I saw the good in even the darker situations like you do." Alison sat up, shocked by what Emily had said. "Emily...I can't let you give all your hard earned money for my mistakes. That's not fair of me. I'm bringing you down just like Spencer told you I would. You stood up for me against everyone and all I've done is prove them all right. If I could make it up to you somehow, I would. I wanted a family with you. I still do but I didn't want a baby this soon. You shouldn't have to be a mother and end up losing the opportunity you have at Stanford. I love you. I want you to get all that you deserve." The blonde's voice had regained a tiny bit of strength as she spoke. Emily had been kind to her and stayed to talk; that gave her that little bit of hope she desperately needed.
"I'm not saying I'm giving up on my dreams, I'm going to Stanford next summer, and I'm proud of myself. But you need help and I'm offering to pay for you whether you like it or not. This isn't the time to be stubborn, okay? So just stop it." Emily spoke firmly and boldly, narrowing her eyebrows as she regained her composure quickly. "You made a mistake, you'll pay for it the rest of your life, but you need to accept it and learn to live with it. Now I can't make you keep this baby or get rid of it, but make the choice that you won't regret or it'll eat you up inside for years.. just like when you left, I had never had the chance to tell you that I loved you, in the right way. And it killed me for three years." Emily began to rant, finally deciding to stop speaking. She turned around and took some distance from Alison, knowing that if she'd stayed too close, she'd want to comfort her, and the brunette wasn't sure if she was ready for that or not.
"I know that. But if you ended up being there for me, I wouldn't want you choosing between your future at Stanford and one with me, with a child you never wanted. I don't want to be the reason you have any regrets. But thank you. For everything. I know I don't deserve any of it." Alison decided that the only way she was ever going to earn Emily's forgiveness was to finally take action for the biggest mistake of her life. She couldn't keep playing victim anymore. The blonde knew that by doing so, it forced Emily to be sympathetic and that it wasn't fair to use that to her advantage. "I don't know what the right decision is but I'm scared, Em. I'm not ready to be a mother but even if I was, what if I'm a terrible one? I just...well I'm afraid for this child to have me for a mother when I'm dangerous to everyone I love. But more importantly, I don't want to lose you. I want you in my life even if you decide that you can't ever be with me again." The blonde admitted, knowing that she'd rather have Emily in her life in some way than not at all. "I really miss you. But you're right. I have to figure out what to do with my life despite how badly it's turned out right now."
"God, Ali. Come here." Emily finally sunk in. She opened her arms widely to the blonde, holding her carefully, her arms wrapped around Alison's body gently and protectively. Emily had never held the blonde like this, this close, this long, this... good. It felt too good to be true, and she didn't want the hug to end, though she knew it had to. "I'm here for you. And, I love you. Always have, always will, Ali. Nothing is going to change that, I promise you." Emily blurted out carefully, rubbing the lower part of her back. She whispered the words against Alison's earlobe and didn't dare pull back until the blonde decided to do so herself.
Alison made her way into Emily's arms with no objections. She felt so comforted by the brunette's embrace. It was like all her problems dissipated whenever Emily was around. The brunette truly was Alison's savior. She leaned her head back against Emily's shoulder and closed her eyes, allowing her mental wounds to heal with the pure love she felt being this close to Emily. "And I love you, Emily. I don't think I could ever stop." The blonde whispered back. She finally opened her eyes and lifted her head to look up at Emily. "Don't let me go."
She felt her heart begin to race, nothing else in this moment mattered more than Alison and her well being. The brunette truly felt somewhat responsible for the fact that Alison hadn't slept in a few days, she really did look horrible, and her body felt weak, judging on the hug that they'd just shared. Emily couldn't help but cave in, she wasn't able to stay disappointed at Alison for too long. She turned her head to the side and planted a soft kiss over Alison's pale cheek, whispering in return. "I won't, not this time. You've got me, and I've got you, and your unborn child. No matter what." Emily spoke truthfully, even though it wasn't her child in retrospect, she loved Alison and she'd love the child as her own.
"You really mean that? You and I can really still have a future together?" Alison asked in disbelief, almost afraid that this was all a dream. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to be loved so much that even her worst mistake could be forgiven. "If I have this baby, Emily, I want you to be as much the child's mother as I am. I mean if you'd want that. I know it's not going to be easy and you don't deserve that burden but I do want a family with you. And I don't want him anywhere near this baby." She added, making sure Emily was well aware that it was only her in the picture and that she would never contact Noel again and hadn't since her drunken night. That night when the blonde had come to her senses, she'd vowed to stay loyal to Emily and she had. Alison truly loved Emily and she wouldn't let anything stand in the way of their future together if Emily was willing to give her a second chance.
Emily finally decided to do something that would convince Alison that she was saying what she meant. She had over a week alone of not being near Alison, and even though it did her some good, it made her notice just how much she missed her and how much she appreciated her company. Even though the brunette would always be disappointed in the choices that Alison had made that night, she couldn't hold her accountable for it when it was Noel who was there with her, and practically took advantage of her while she was drunk. Emily looked down at Alison with the most loving eyes, looking into Alison's icy blue eyes, she closed her own and let her lips graze over Alison's, finally kissing her like there was no tomorrow, slowly, and then all at once.
Alison stayed still in Emily's arms. She was both mentally and physically weak and the pregnancy was probably partly to blame for her horrid physical state. Every time she thought of food, missing Emily made her lose her appetite, or she felt sick and couldn't even bother to eat. The blonde knew that her one night of recklessness had cost her a lot but it was still Noel she held accountable. He'd known how she felt about Emily and still let things go too far. While Alison accepted the blame on her part, she'd never forgive him or help him with his own secrets ever again. Alison looked into Emily's warm brown eyes and blinked, the pure love in them overwhelming her in a good way. She kissed Emily back putting all the love she had for her into it, as she let her own eyes shut.
Even if the two still had so much to work on, Emily couldn't have been happier to share such a loving kiss with the blonde. After gently pulling away, a small smile over her face, she opened her eyes, locking them once again with Alison's. She couldn't believe it. After one week of being apart from the blonde, it all felt so good and overwhelming to say the least. She just couldn't help but slide her hand up to Alison's cheek after they'd shared the kiss, not daring to say one word for another minute or so. "I missed you much.." She admitted once again, licking over her lips; able to taste Alison's cherry chapstick.
The blonde had never felt so alive. It was like Emily had awoken her from her depression and brought her back to reality. She felt like her heart could beat freely again as its pace quickened with every gently gesture of the brunette. The blonde slowly opened her eyes and locked them onto Emily's. She allowed to see into them, to see that she too had the same look of pure love for her in them. "I missed you too. Very much." Alison told her, not daring to move an inch. She didn't want to be anywhere else but near Emily.
"Crap..." Emily spoke out loud, frowning and taking in a deep breath. She pulled away gently, her hand softly taking Alison's arm, sighing. "Our parents think we're done... how are we going to explain that we just practically kissed and made up?" Emily asked the blonde, not wanting to cause unwanted drama on both sides of their families. The brunette walked over to Alison's bed, sitting down and began to think. "I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. I've lied about so many things to my parents for so many years, I bet they wouldn't notice anyways.. a-and.." Emily began to rant, not really being able to stop herself, she let her back fall over the blankets on Alison's bed, taking deep breaths.
Alison came over and sat beside Emily. She placed her finger over the brunette's lips, stopping her from continuing to rant. "Sshh. Calm down, Emmy. My dad truly believed that we could fix things if we just talked. Since you convinced me to let you take care of my medical bill, with him it'll be easy, at least until I start to show...as for your parents...they hate me as it is, but I suppose you could just tell them I screwed up in a big way and out of anger you asked for a break. Tell them that out of my own stupid pride, I told you that a break practically meant it was over and that you only forgave me because I made it up to you and proved my love for you. It's at least sort of the truth and they believe the worst of me so they'll buy it." Alison was good at thinking up stories on her feet that stayed general but told just enough detail for people not to ask questions. She then pulled the brunette into her arms and held her tightly. It was her turn to comfort Emily. "Relax, Killer. We'll figure everything out together."
"Does that mean that you're going to keep him.. her.. it?" Emily whispered to Alison, allowing her hand to gently trail over Alison's stomach; keeping it unmoving once it reached the top of her bellybutton. Alison wasn't showing yet, but it was only a matter of weeks before she did, and she really wanted to make sure that the blonde was at least somewhat ready. "God, it's like you planned this out for years and it only took you two minutes. You're smart.. and honestly it scared me sometimes." She admitted, laughing nervously; however right when Alison's arms draped over Emily's body, she began to relax just that little bit.