Chapter II: Credo quia absurdum est (Vongola Offices / Namimori / Present Day)
A/N: People have asked why things are moving more slowly now with new chapters, and the reason is simply that I wrote a large chunk of Vivi memor leti, and thus resolved the logic and flow of it, before I ever started posting it. I have a good healthy distance into Ex umbra in solem, but because I'm not as far in (100,000 words or more) I'm slower about finalizing chapters, because I want all my facts in order. Still, I promise, I'm not dropping this baby anytime soon. I have it roughed out through the end, and the start of the next story arc!
I can never thank thi_hoai enough for beta-reading for me, and Ai-chan is always an endless source of inspiration and encouragement for me! This is Ai-chan's birthday chapter! So please wish her a happy birthday if you take the time to comment!!
The morning following his trip to the future, Tsuna made his way to his office painfully early, reaching it before the sun was up. His snapshot moment of the future had triggered a swirl of ideas in his mind and they'd haunted him all night, blending with the nightmares that still plagued him. Finally giving up on trying to fall asleep at around four in the morning, he'd apologetically woken Basil and Lal, asking them to escort him to the office, knowing they could sleep just as easily there, while he was at least productive.
Reborn had offered to go with him, but Tsuna told him to sleep, knowing how hard it was to keep up with them in a baby's body. They'd meet up at school instead, he told him, well aware that his stubborn tutor was just agreeing with him so that he could follow him silently later. If there was one thing Tsuna was aware of, it was that no matter where he was, Reborn wasn't far away these days, especially not after the attempt to kill him.
After settling his bodyguards on the couches in the front room of his office and being swatted away for trying to tuck them in, Tsuna locked himself in his office, engaging the soundproofing at the same time. He knew what he wanted to do next, but the breadth of it terrified him a little. He'd kept all of this a secret for so long, not wanting to burden anyone else. Even allowing Mukuro to see what Tsuna knew had left him feeling dirty and exposed, as if he'd damaged his Guardian in some attempt to soothe his own pain.
Sighing softly and shoving the emotions away for now, he slid a DVD-R into his laptop and set it up to record before settling the headset with microphone onto his head. Normally, he used this gear when talking over their secure connection to people at the Vongola headquarters in Italy, but this time he was setting himself up for a far more personal conversation that was going to be very one-sided. Taking a deep breath and a long swig of water, he focused his mind completely and hit the record button. Then he started to speak and he didn't stop for hours.
He poured the truth of the future he'd seen into his words, describing everything he remembered in intimate, exquisite detail, not wanting to leave anything out. It hurt, and he was sure the slight wobble in his voice gave that pain away, especially when he had to relay the death and resurrection of the Arcobaleno, the fear he'd felt after watching Dino and Squalo practically commit suicide just to give them enough time to escape the base, the relief he'd felt as his Family had reassembled during the final fight with Byakuran. There were tears in his eyes when he spilled the truth about his first kill, and how horrified he'd been at his own power at that moment.
Next he detailed the actions he'd taken so far: his discussion with the Ninth, the capture of Verde, even the start of the assassinations he felt were necessary to create the kind of obstacles that would allow him to catch up with Byakuran before he got too far ahead. Tsuna covered everything he was planning and attempting to give them the lead they needed to avoid that future. Finally his voice went hoarse and rough, and he wound to a close, eventually turning the record function off.
Shouichi had taught him how to move files out to the DVD-R, and he moved the audio file immediately before deleting it from his laptop. There was no way he was leaving that sort of evidence around for Reborn to find, and he was well aware that Reborn kept a painfully close eye on what he was doing these days. Then he copied all of the relevant data and information that he and Shouichi had collected over the past year or so, organizing it as best as he could. Finally he used the function Shouichi had created that allowed him to secure the DVD-R to allow access only to his intended audience, before sighing in relief and popping it out.
Slipping the disc into a protective sleeve, he tucked it into his book bag and finally leaned back, somehow feeling the tension of earlier fade with every beat of his heart. He felt it as his body slumped slightly in the chair, and he found himself smiling slightly. There were a lot of times when making a decision like this left him overwhelmed, tense, even terrified. This time, however, there was a sense of having performed a task and having done it well.
Pulling himself out of his chair, he moved to unlock and open his door, not the least bit surprised to find Reborn sitting in the outer room sipping his coffee and reading the morning paper. Smiling, he waved slightly, inviting him into the office silently. He was beyond pleased when Reborn hopped down from his chair and made his way in comfortably, without a hint of irritation. Closing the door behind them, he sighed, body relaxing even further.
"I had a feeling you wouldn't stay home," he said, settling behind his desk again and smiling at Reborn. "But I did hope you'd sleep a little longer. I was good and took my bodyguards with me like I'm supposed to." He pulled his panic button out of his pocket to show it to his tutor. "See? I'm following all the rules you gave me."
"I just didn't feel like having breakfast with everyone else," Reborn replied, folding his paper and setting it on the desk as he hopped up into the chair across from Tsuna. "So I came to keep you from getting too lonely without me."
"This wouldn't have anything to do with Bianchi returning today, would it, Reborn?" Tsuna asked, curious now.
He'd gotten an email confirming her departure late last night, and when he'd told Reborn he'd noticed a shuttered, dark look in those expressive black eyes. Personally, Tsuna felt that the work he'd done in Venice to introduce her to Lancia might have worked the way he'd hoped, but only time would tell. Either way, he was moving into the apartment below these offices over the weekend, and Reborn would be going with him. There was no way Bianchi would be able to maintain her stranglehold on Reborn in that situation, which pleased Tsuna immensely. He loved Bianchi like a sister, but he loved Reborn more.
"Don't be silly, Tsuna," Reborn told him, giving no sign of any emotion towards that particular situation. "We have more important things to worry about than that."
"Xanxus will be leaving when the jet arrives, I'm sure," Tsuna said thoughtfully, leaning back in his chair. "He's been itching to get out of here for the past day or so."
That got a reaction, unlike Bianchi, which Tsuna found interesting. "Are you going to see him off? I'm sure he'd enjoy that."
"I am going to see him off," Tsuna replied, watching Reborn warily. It was obvious that Xanxus was a dangerous topic with Reborn these days, and there wasn't anything Tsuna could do to make it any easier. "He's done me an enormous favor, Reborn, and it's not fair to punish him for being kind."
Reborn frowned slightly, but clearly couldn't find a way to argue with Tsuna over his decision. "I suppose you're right, but I don't like it. He's too smug over all of this now. Just look at the way he looks at you."
"I think you're imagining it, Reborn," Tsuna offered demurely. He knew exactly what Reborn was talking about but he wasn't about to give him any sort of reason to actually shoot the man he'd need to wield as one of his most dangerous weapons in the next few months. "Besides, he's going home. We have more important things to do this morning than worry about that."
That got Reborn's attention again and Tsuna smiled at him before flipping his laptop open again and starting the process to connect a web call to Venice, dialing directly into Verde's lab. "You're going to want to come to this side of the desk for this call, Reborn. I have hope now."
"Hope?" Reborn hopped up on the desk and walked across it, settling in front of Tsuna on the desk, facing the webcam. "What are you talking about?"
"Yes, Sawada, what are you talking about?" a grouchy voice interrupted them and Verde appeared on the screen, looking tired. "Don't you have anything better to do than harass your prisoners?"
"Prisoner is an ugly word, Verde," Tsuna replied, sighing softly, "although probably honest. I was hoping the salary at least might improve your mood about it a little."
"There's not a lot that can improve one's mood over having an explosive device strapped to one's leg," Verde grumbled. "But I'm sure that's not why you're bothering me."
"That's true," Tsuna answered, getting down to business. "Lambo hit me with his ten-year bazooka yesterday and there were some things I saw in the future that I think are important to solving the problem of the Arcobaleno curse. I thought you'd want to know right away."
Both Reborn and Verde perked up and focused intently on Tsuna at that. While Tsuna had told Reborn about the babies and many other things, there were parts he'd chosen to leave out until now. He'd needed to leave it to sit in the back of his head and stew for a while.
"Verde, I'm wondering why ten years from now my Guardians, all of whom are my age or older, look like they couldn't even be twenty years old? They should be in their mid-twenties, getting close to thirty, some of them. But not one of them looked much older than they do now, maybe a year or two. That's not all of it, either. Dino wasn't any older than he is now, and Xanxus actually looked younger. So did Squalo. Lambo looked like he was maybe fifteen," Tsuna frowned at the thought, remembering what the future Kyoya told him about what he got up to with Lambo. "And when I looked at the pictures on the wall, I saw both of you as well, in adult bodies."
He looked at Reborn thoughtfully. "When I was shot and Reborn poured all of that power into me to heal me, I saw his adult body. Believe me when I say there wasn't a detail I missed when I saw him, because it was so surprising. But the Reborn in the future looked like he wasn't that much older than my Guardians. He definitely looks younger than the Reborn I saw when I was shot. Years younger."
"You're sure, Tsuna?" Reborn mirrored Tsuna's gaze, his expression equally thoughtful. "I just thought maybe you'd kept your baby face when I saw you in the future. After all, it is pretty cute." He reached out and pinched Tsuna's cheek fondly.
"Keep your perverted sex life off of my monitor," Verde snarled at them nastily, but he also looked thoughtful. "You've given me more to think about than you realize, Sawada. I'll be in contact." With that, the monitor went blank again, and Tsuna reached out to close the connection on his end and shut down his laptop.
"You didn't mention this earlier," Reborn said, looking at Tsuna curiously.
"I had to wrap my head around it," Tsuna replied, reaching out to lift Reborn onto his shoulder, grabbing his book bag from the floor. "Do you really think it might help us find an answer, Reborn? I mean, it's obvious we do, but the future you is a really stubborn jerk about not telling me anything about this."
"Verde seemed to think so," Reborn answered, settling in for the ride to school comfortably. "It's good to know that keeping that baby face of yours might not be entirely genetics," he teased gently, earning himself a long-suffering huff from Tsuna.
"I'd like to point out that whatever baby face I do have in the future, you're really fond of it, Reborn," Tsuna told him, taking his time to enjoy the cool early fall morning as he walked.
"That's probably true. I have an unnatural fondness for cute things," Reborn told him philosophically, before tugging sharply on Tsuna's hair and pointing at the convenience store. "Feed me."
A purchased breakfast later, Tsuna was settled in his classroom with the disc he'd recorded burning a hole in his bag and Reborn had wandered off to one of his many hideouts, most likely to have a nap. Exhausted, Tsuna slipped out of his classroom again before lunch, claiming illness and retreating to the roof. He'd gotten a lot done already, but the combination of business and school was draining these days. Deciding to catch a nap, he tucked his bag under his head and sprawled out on the roof, sighing.
"You're turning into a delinquent," Kyoya said, peering down at him from the water tower above him. "I'm only willing to allow you so much leniency before I'm forced to discipline you."
Smiling, Tsuna looked up at him with sleepy eyes. "I should have known you'd be up here. Maybe I did know, actually. I always seem to find you when things get to be too overwhelming."
Hopping down, Kyoya joined him, settling next to him on the roof. "I don't care about your emotional issues, Tsunayoshi, and don't want to hear about them."
"I don't really feel like talking, Kyoya," Tsuna told him as he reached out with a determined hand and pulled him close, catching him with the unexpected gesture, and pulled him into a kiss, needing to wipe the pain of his morning confessional out of his soul for the moment.
Luckily for Tsuna, Kyoya was apparently feeling agreeable, or maybe just feeling the swell of his hormones, because he returned the kiss with a soft growl. In less than a minute, they transitioned from a clumsy kiss to something hot, slick and urgent. Tsuna groaned softly as their tongues slid together and apart and Kyoya gradually leaned into him, body pressing him down onto the cement. When Kyoya finally pulled back, Tsuna couldn't resist a soft whimper.
"You let that irritating, loud man touch you," Kyoya commented, his breathing slightly irregular. "Rokudo Mukuro made a point of telling me that you gave yourself to him, let him have you."
"The hell?" Tsuna glared at the sky for a long moment while wondering if he could actually beat Mukuro to death, before realizing he was also blushing bright red. "Yeah, I suppose it's true. I had sex with Xanxus."
Kyoya looked at him thoughtfully for a long moment. "You better not have fleas."
With that, he leaned in and kissed Tsuna again, and Tsuna's brain did a slow melt, forgetting what he was embarrassed about in the first place. After all, he'd done what he'd done with Xanxus so that he could share things like this with his friends and give them what they needed from him, without having them brawl constantly with each other. For Kyoya, it was the need for a human connection without having to admit anything of the sort. So Tsuna couched it in terms of hormones, arousal and the occasional nap together.
For now, he was happy enough to lose himself in the storm of hot hands, wet mouths and urgent movement. He didn't think twice about fumbling Kyoya's pants open and sliding his hand inside, wrapping around him tightly and stroking. Kyoya's rough growl mixed with flushed cheeks made Tsuna realize that aside from Kyoya's jaunt to the future, this was quite possibly his first time being touched like this, and so he focused more on the experience, pushing his own urgent need away.
"You feel good," Tsuna muttered, and nudged Kyoya with his other arm, pushing him back onto his ass, before settling between his legs, hand still stroking tightly. "I want to taste you."
Leaning forward, he took Kyoya into his mouth, tongue sliding down over the hard heat of him, putting his practice to good use. He was eager to please, wanting to see Kyoya's face as that outer shell fractured. There was something instinctive in Tsuna that told him he could make that happen, force that wall down, even if it was only for a moment.
It didn't hurt that he found he loved the taste of Kyoya on his tongue, and smooth slickness of his skin added something wicked to the realization that he was going down on the most dangerous person in his high school while on the roof of said school. Of course when Kyoya fisted a hand in his hair and thrust up against his mouth, it helped even more. The low, wicked keening sound the other teen was trying to suppress went straight to Tsuna's cock, leaving him hard and aching.
It wasn't long after that when Kyoya pulled Tsuna's mouth onto his cock as far as he could manage and spilled into him, crying out softly. Tsuna wrinkled his nose slightly at the taste but swallowed him down anyway. Some part of him knew that any sign of rejection on his part might damage his Guardian in ways Tsuna couldn't understand right now. So he did what he could, and accepted all of it, licking his way off of Kyoya when he was done.
Kyoya made no move to return the favor, but to be honest, Tsuna hadn't expected him to. Kyoya was Kyoya, after all. It would take more than a few intimate moments to make him take someone else's needs into consideration over his own. He was pleased enough that rather than bolting afterwards, or attacking, Kyoya simply cleaned himself up and sprawled out with him on the roof, dozing off into a nap, using Tsuna's stomach as a pillow.
As he dozed with Kyoya, Tsuna wondered what his bodyguards thought of his lifestyle, before deciding it really didn't matter in the end. He'd wasted so much of his life worrying about what people thought about him, and that mindset had almost cost him everything he loved. So he'd stop caring, and focus instead on looking after the people who'd agreed to stand by his side instead. Content with that, he napped with Kyoya on the roof until the bell rang and they both sat up.
"I'm moving this weekend," Tsuna told him as he gathered up his bag to go, "into an apartment under the office."
"And?" Kyoya looked at him with a bland, blank look that told Tsuna he'd retreated fully behind his walls again.
"You should come by and visit. It's just Reborn and me living there. It'd be nice." With that, Tsuna smiled at him and headed down, gathering Reborn along the way from his hideout on the third floor.
"Where are we going now, Tsuna?" Reborn asked curiously, still sleepy and yawning from his own afternoon nap.
"The airport," Tsuna replied. "You need to meet Bianchi, and I need to give Xanxus something and thank him again." His mind drifted to the disc in his bag again, hoping he was making the right choice in all of this. "I don't want to be there when you talk with Bianchi." The truth was, he didn't want to see Bianchi cling to Reborn, acting like she had the right to touch him any which way she pleased.
"It bothers you that much, Tsuna?" Reborn asked, glancing at him from under the brim of his hat while making himself comfortable on Tsuna's shoulder.
"It makes me want to punch walls," Tsuna told him as they got into the car with Basil at the wheel. "I honestly don't know, Reborn, how you can be so understanding and giving, when it drives me so completely insane."
"The difference," Reborn replied as he hopped down to settle in Tsuna's lap, "is that they just want to be near you, close to you, for their own various reasons. They don't want you in a long-term, life partner sort of way. Bianchi, on the other hand, has been extremely attached to me since she was in kindergarten. I indulged her because her family life was hard, but it's time to put an end to it, I suppose." What went unsaid was that he was clearly unwilling to continue something that bothered Tsuna so much, a dramatic shift in their relationship from the early years, where Reborn enjoyed provoking reactions like that in Tsuna.
"Thank you, Reborn." Tsuna wrapped an arm around him, holding him closer. "It means a lot to me."
Reborn didn't reply, clearly not feeling the need to. He did, however, relax into Tsuna's hold, leaning back against his chest almost as if it were natural. That reassured Tsuna more than any words would have, and the two enjoyed a quiet ride to the airport together, basking quietly in the shared company.
*Title translates to "I believe it because it is absurd".