Chapter IV: Ad meliora (Airport / Namimori / Present Day)
A/N: As always, a huge thank you to thi_hoai and ai-chan for getting me through this writing process. They are wonderful beta-readers and inspiration for me, and always challenge me to find and add the next plot twist and mystery to the story line.
I know it's been a while since I've updated. I'm sorry about that! It did show me how many people are actually reading this story, however, which made me really happy. I'm so glad people are enjoying it.
This is the last story chapter before I throw a few interlude chapters your way, the first of which is going out to be beta-read today and the second of which I'm polishing up tomorrow before sending it for beta-reading. So they should come quickly.
This was a hard chapter to write and to finish, because there's so much complex emotion within it, wound tightly around a lot of important future plot points. I had to make sure to get the balance right and so I had to sit on it for a while until I got further into what follows it. I hope you enjoy it!
The airport was, as always, a bustling mass of humanity. Tsuna had a moment of abject gratitude over the fact that the Vongola owned their own hanger at the airport now, and he was able to bypass the worst of the crush involved in coming and going from the complex. While Shouichi and the others had flown back on a commercial flight from Venice nearly a month ago now, Xanxus had absolutely refused to fly on anything other than the Family jet. Tsuna agreed this was the best option, as Xanxus was temperamental in any situation and crowds tended to make it worse.
With that in mind, Tsuna had Basil pause long enough to drop Reborn off at the main international terminal to meet Bianchi's flight before Tsuna continued on to the private Family hanger. Xanxus' flight was due to leave in less than an hour, and Tsuna needed to thank him again before he left Japan. He also wanted to hand over the disc he'd made with the information, his truth, that he felt Xanxus would need to understand so that they could work together.
Tsuna had made his choice to use the Varia to do his work in protecting the future for all of them, and some part of him knew it was unwise to do so without fully informing Xanxus. He knew Xanxus wouldn't easily tolerate being given orders like these, especially orders that put his team at risk, without knowing why these things had to be done. It was better to show some trust and open up to him than to keep him in the dark.
He was surprised to find Xanxus already at the hanger as they pulled up. Knowing Xanxus' temperament, Tsuna would have expected him to arrive at the last minute, irritated and not at all concerned about inconveniencing anyone. It was one of those moments where he realized he still had a lot to learn about the people he was surrounding himself with. Instead of the rushed, angry movements he'd expected, Xanxus was leaning against the hood of another car, Viper floating over his shoulder as he read through a large document, both of them ignoring the activity around them as their luggage was loaded onto the jet. Neither of them deigned to notice him, which he found both amusing and frustrating at the same time.
"I was hoping I'd catch you before you left," Tsuna said softly, watching them both as he came to a stop a few feet away. "Thank you for all of your help the past couple of weeks. It would have been impossible to handle all of the work for the Family while healing properly." He paused, blushing lightly. "And thank you for the rest, as well. It was kind of you. I mean, I feel like I took advantage of you, in a way." He rubbed the back of his neck as the blush darkened, cursing himself silently about being so nervous. "Like maybe I took advantage of your concern about the Family as a whole. I'm sorry about that."
Xanxus glanced over at him for a long moment before holding a hand out to Viper, palm up, in a silent but demanding gesture. Confused, Tsuna watched in surprise as Viper rummaged grumpily in a pocket before dropping a folded wad of money onto Xanxus' palm. It took Tsuna's brain a few seconds to catch up to the muttering coming from the Arcobaleno.
"I'm never gambling with you again. You cheat," Viper grumbled, clearly feeling the loss of his money. "I'll have to transfer the rest over to your account after we land. I don't carry that much with me."
"As long as you pay up," Xanxus told him, before waving Viper off towards the jet. "I should've bet the other Arcobaleno as well. Now go away. My personal life is none of your business."
For a moment, Tsuna wondered to himself if Xanxus was sending Viper away to protect Tsuna's privacy more than his own. After all, it wasn't like Viper didn't know what they'd done. He'd helped arrange it, after all. Shaking his head, he shoved that thought away for a later time. Wondering about Xanxus' personal motives while being faced with him in a professional setting was a distraction he didn't need.
"You need to outgrow that irritating need to placate others," Xanxus said, eyes returning to the document in his hands. "It'll get you killed more often than it will help you. Possibly by me, if you keep doing it."
"I'm sorry." Tsuna flinched as the words slipped out of his mouth before they could stop them. "Oh hell," he muttered, rubbing his face in frustration. "It's harder to get over than you think. I've spent my whole life hiding from everyone and everything. I'm afraid of almost everything. It's always been easier to apologize than face up to things."
"Get over it," Xanxus replied, finally glancing up at him again. "If you're going to order the deaths of others, you don't have the right to hide your face anymore and pretend it's not really happening."
"I know that," Tsuna snapped back at him, frowning in frustration. "I'm trying. I'm not like you. I didn't grow up surrounded by all of this. There are still a lot of things that I don't understand, even after really focusing on it. I feel so stupid all of the time."
Tucking the report away, Xanxus pushed himself off the car and moved closer to Tsuna, looking down at him thoughtfully. There was something in his eyes that kept Tsuna from flinching away or pulling back, something dark and full of knowledge and experience. Something inside him clicked and told him sharply that if he pulled back, that if he retreated he might never have the kind of connection with this man that he'd need to keep their Family alive. So he stood his ground and lifted his face, meeting Xanxus' eyes not defiantly, but respectfully.
"That's better," Xanxus commented, stopping in what was definitely space Tsuna considered personal and private, encroaching mercilessly. "You should always at least have the balls to look someone you've fucked in the face. If you can't do that, you should've kept your pants on."
He couldn't help it; Tsuna blushed bright red. It felt like he was blushing from his toes to the top of his head. There was something different about being confronted with what he'd done with Xanxus in comparison to talking with his friends when they'd fooled around in the past. Tsuna couldn't help but wonder if the difference was in the man in front of him, or what they'd done together and how far they'd gone. That brought other questions to mind, and he couldn't keep himself from asking them.
"Do you… I mean… have you… oh hell," Tsuna gathered up his courage, his eyes never leaving Xanxus' even as his blush deepened. "Do your friends come to you, the way mine come to me? With the need to be close and touch like that?"
"I don't have friends," Xanxus replied, looking slightly amused now. "But if you're asking if those whiny bitches cling to me like vines, then the answer is yes. They're just as fucked up in the head as the ones that follow you around. They've just learned to be quieter about it."
"There's nothing quiet about your team, Xanxus," Tsuna replied. But for some reason, that soothed Tsuna, and he could feel himself relaxing slightly. He wasn't the only one, and he wasn't unnatural, at least not in the world he'd chosen to live in. "I suppose it takes a certain kind of attachment to be willing to die for someone like that."
"They're idiots," Xanxus stated firmly. "But it's almost impossible to get rid of them unless you kill them yourself."
"Well at least I'm not a freak of nature then," Tsuna muttered to himself. "I was beginning to think I was putting out some kind of crazy hormone or something. But now I know I'm not alone in all of this." He smiled sweetly at Xanxus only to blink in surprise as the older man stared at him and then turned away for a moment, before turning back.
"Don't go putting us in the same category, shrimp," Xanxus told him, giving him a sharp look. "You've got decades to go before you're anywhere close to me. You can't even keep your puppies from following you." With that he nodded towards the entrance of the hangar where Tsuna noticed that Basil had been joined by Kyoya, who was leaning against the side of the car and apparently napping.
"I'm beginning to think they have me micro-chipped," Tsuna complained, instinctively grabbing onto Xanxus' arm and tugging him away from their line of sight. "At least they don't follow me into the bathroom, I suppose."
Xanxus raised a slow eyebrow at the manhandling but allowed it for the moment. Then he glanced over to the entryway of the waiting jet and snorted lightly. Following his gaze, Tsuna caught a flash of purple and black before the portal was clear again. "Get used to it."
There was nothing Tsuna could do at that but laugh, especially as he glanced back towards the car and noticed that both Basil and Kyoya had moved slightly, reclaiming their view of Tsuna without appearing to have tried to do so at all. "I suppose I'll have to."
Shaking off the casual discussion, Tsuna reached into his bag and pulled out the disc he'd burned earlier in the day. Frowning at it, he couldn't stop looking between the disc and Xanxus, working himself up to the point of handing it over. Doing this would expose him in so many ways to someone who was clearly dangerous and who'd shown a marked lack of interest in Tsuna's well-being. On the other hand, he couldn't doubt Xanxus' loyalty to the Family, not after what he'd done both in the future and in the recent past. He felt himself flush at the memory of the last favor he'd asked from Xanxus, body heating slightly at the reminder of large hands and a warm body against his.
Forcing himself to focus on the current situation, Tsuna held out the disc to Xanxus. "I need you to take this and review the material on it, and I need you to understand how important it is that this never goes beyond the two of us. There are things coming up, and things that have happened already, that you'll be able to understand better when put into context. But if we don't resolve the problems I'm showing you, then everything else we've done or will do will simply fall."
"We're Vongola," Xanxus replied sharply. "No one and nothing on this earth could crush us. Not unless they destroyed every one of us down to the last child."
His phrasing caught at Tsuna, tearing into him in brutal ways as he flashed back through the research he'd done in the future, what Reborn and the others had forced him to see, to realize how terrible their situation truly had been. Tsuna could feel himself go pale at the memories and felt himself shake slightly. If it hadn't been for the hand that grasped his chin firmly, he was sure he probably would have slumped to the ground, overwhelmed by the horror of the future again.
Glancing up, Tsuna blinked in surprise to find Xanxus' fiery eyes watching him intently, and then he saw understanding start to dawn in them, all of it hidden from the others watching the two of them with a careful tilt of the head and fall of hair across a scarred cheek. What surprised Tsuna more, however, was that the face above his was getting closer and closer. It wasn't until he was caught in a searing kiss that his brain caught up to the world around him, and all he could do was reach out and grasp at Xanxus' jacket and cling to him for dear life as the older man drove the fear out of him with heat.
As he pulled back, Xanxus ignored the snarl Kyoya gave from the entrance to the hanger and Basil's muffled cry of outrage. The fact that he did made Tsuna realize that they'd started to move in, probably drawn by the weakness and fear Tsuna had shown. That slapped Tsuna back to awareness fully, and he gave Xanxus a slight nod of understanding, and then grasped his shirt and pulled him in for another fierce kiss.
By the time Xanxus pulled back a second time, Tsuna was flushed and panting. He couldn't stop the soft, needy sound that slipped out of him, hand still grasping the rumpled front of Xanxus' shirt. A quick glance towards the entrance showed him that his friends had stopped moving forward and had instead taken to staring at the two of them blankly in a vague sort of horrified shock. Satisfied with that, Tsuna smiled up at Xanxus, who was looking down at him with an expression Tsuna couldn't quite understand.
"Thank you," Tsuna murmured, slowly releasing his shirt and brushing the wrinkles out of it with his hand. "I still have a lot to learn about being a good boss. Reborn says I show fear too easily and that I need to learn to hide my emotions better." He didn't, however, apologize for the second kiss.
"He's right." Xanxus reached out with an elegant flick of his hand and took the disc from Tsuna, tucking it into his pocket discretely. "I have a long flight. I might as well entertain myself with this." His expression hadn't changed, and Tsuna realized he could break down some of the components of it. He saw heat and need, which made Tsuna blush, but he also saw concern and an almost unholy devotion which he knew was for the Family. There was a lot of other emotion in that face that he didn't understand at all, but he hoped that understanding would come with time.
"Then let me know if you have any questions about it." Tsuna again made a conscious decision not to step back or pull away from Xanxus, forcing himself to adjust to the nearness. "It's important that Reborn knows nothing about this, but Grandfather has the same information I'm giving you."
Xanxus raised an eyebrow at that but let it go, clearly not interested in discussing it any further. Instead, he turned and headed towards the waiting jet. "Try not to get yourself killed too easily, Tsunayoshi. If you survive a while longer, I might find the time to stop in Japan again to see how you managed it."
Tsuna couldn't help but laugh at that even as the words did something wicked to his body, reminding him of how they'd spent part of this visit. It made him more daring than he'd thought he could be. "If you manage to make it back to Japan, Xanxus, maybe I'll sign up for more lessons with you."
As Tsuna turned and headed back to the car Xanxus' laughter filled the hanger around him and he found himself smiling. For some reason he felt like he'd made the right choices today and that reassured him quite a bit. Now he just had to survive moving into his new home, Bianchi's rage, and find a way to prevent the end of the world as they knew it and things would be fine. While Basil fussed over him and Kyoya muttered about dipping him in bleach to remove the contamination, Tsuna simply smiled at each of them. With friends like these and warriors like the Varia, how could he fail?
*Title translates to "towards better things".