A/N: So sorry for the delay. Real life has been a mean bully the past week, between my niece ending up in the ER with diabetes related issues (her blood sugar was below 20, but she's since home and back to her normal energetic 14-year-old self), and a 3-day migraine that nearly sent me to Urgent Care with a sudden (and very painful) stabbing pain. Thankfully, the bully has retreated to its corner, and I can breathe a little bit.

I don't own anything related to Hawaii Five-0 or CBS. No copyright infringement is intended.

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They sat like that for a while, until the breeze shifted and it started cooling down. They walked in silence back to the house, each lost in their own thoughts of just what 'living' meant to them.

Once they got back home, Kono settled on the couch with some Tylenol and a bottle of water. Danny came to check on her and sat on the coffee table in front of her. "I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but are you doing okay?"

Kono smiled briefly. Leave it to Danny to worry about something like that. "I'm just tired. I think I'm going to try to take a nap for a while. How about you?"

"I actually am going to try to catch up on some paperwork. It shouldn't take too long. I think that Steve and Chin were heading over here later. I know you haven't been outside much, but didn't know if you wanted to try to swim later? I'm sure Steve would keep you company. In the meantime, are you going to be okay, or do you want me to stay in here for a bit?

Kono nodded sleepily. "Yeah, I might take him up on it…it might feel good. I think I'm okay for now, though. I'll probably sleep for a while. I'll just make sure I call if I need anything, okay?"

He leaned down and placed a light kiss on her forehead. "Sleep tight. I'll be back in the guest room, okay?"

Kono sighed. "Mmmm. Okay." She was asleep before he made it down the hallway.

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Steve and Chin rode in silence the short distance to Adam's house. They didn't want to be gone long, but wanted to make sure they got a few things for Kono to have with her. They punched in the code to the gate, and drove through once it opened. Parking the truck, they sat and stared at the building in front of them. It was now or never.

They got out and walked, following the path until they reached a wooden door. Juggling the key ring, Chin found the key he was looking for. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door to Adam Noshimuri's house. As Steve shut the door behind him, Chin entered the alarm code and waited for the system to deactivate.

They walked through the door cautiously, not sure what to expect. HPD had confirmed that this was not any type of crime scene, so they knew that they were not disturbing anything. The room was silent, except for the humming of the refrigerator. The governor confirmed that the estate was tied up for the foreseeable future, which gratefully prevented the lawyers from doing anything with the place until Kono was ready.

Chin and Steve both appreciated the modest decor as they wandered through the house. Finding the area they were looking for, they made quick work of what they had come to do. Steve gathered a few things from Adam's bedroom and placed them in a backpack that he found on the floor of the closet. Looking around, he glanced at a small leather bound book on the nightstand next to the bed. Flipping through the pages, he smiled softly with damp eyes for Kono's sake, and put it in the backpack for safe keeping, then headed back the way he came.

Chin was in the living room, picking out a few photos to take back to Kono's house. He knew that she had a few of the two of them, but Adam had some that he'd never seen before. They knew that they would bring Kono back here when she felt ready, but for now, hopefully this would ease the ache in her heart.

Locking the door behind them, Steve and Chin made their way back to the truck. After texting Danny to let him know they were on their way, they headed back to Kono's house. When they arrived, they used Chin's key to unlock the door and let themselves in. Kono was still sleeping on the couch; her forehead creased and her limbs restless. Hearing the keys in the door, Danny met them in the living room.

Reluctantly, they decided to wake her up. They didn't want her to hurt herself if she sat up suddenly. Chin sat down on the coffee table. Reaching out, he gently shook her shoulder. "Kono?" She flinched at his touch, prompting him to move out of her reach. He did not want to be on the receiving end of a Kono Kalakaua roundhouse. He tried again. "Kono? Wake up."

Slowly, she opened her eyes and glanced around. "Chin?" Seeing the rest of the team surrounding her, she blinked in confusion. "Where…what happened?"

"You were dreaming, I think. Do you remember what it was?"

She pulled at a loose thread on the blanket. "Adam was there. We were at a pier. There was a big crowd, and I kept losing sight of him. He always found me, though. I just wish I could remember what he was saying. It seemed really important at the time."

She sat up slowly and rolled her neck, trying to release the kink that had formed. "Can I tell you guys something?"

Steve and Danny sat down next to her, the backpack on the floor by Steve's feet. "Anything, sweetheart. You know that."

"I'm scared that I might forget him someday…forget his voice, the way he looks…stuff like that." She looked around the room for a moment. "I have a few photos stashed away, and I have his t-shirt that I stole, but not much else. I just wish…"

She looked down at her hands, suddenly worried. "Steve? What happened to his house?"

Steve smiled. "The Governor took care of things. He buried the estate in red tape for the time being, which means that it's still his house for as long as you want it to be."

Kono could not stop the relief from showing on her face. "I…I was worried that I wouldn't get to…I should go through his things to see if there's anything that the baby might want."

Steve reached down and brought the backpack to rest between them. "What about what you want?"

Kono looked at him, her eyes welling up with tears.

Danny turned so that he was facing her, while Chin squeezed her knee. "Kono, I know that the last few days have been hell for you. I also want you to know how proud I am of you…we all are of you. You are figuring out how to survive, and doing a damn good job at it."

Chin looked at her with a shy smile. "I hope you don't mind, but Steve and I went to Adam's house. As soon as you are up to it, we'll take you over there."

He spoke quickly, alarmed at the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Kono, we went there to get some stuff for you. I know how much you miss him, and figured that you would feel better if you had some of "him" here with you."

She looked down at the backpack in awe. "You got some of his stuff? For me?" At his nod, she threw her arms around his neck. "God, how can I ever thank you guys? How do you always know what I need?"

She sat back, wiping the tears away. Steve handed her the backpack, thoroughly enjoying her nostalgic happiness. She hugged the shirts to her, breathing in the scent. They still smelled like him. She smiled at some of the photos that Chin had found…photos of her and Adam at various stages of their relationship, along with a few of Adam's childhood photos. She actually giggled as she saw a photo of a young, naked Adam Noshimuri streaking through a backyard. He couldn't have been more than two years old. She never would have thought that his parents would have taken a photo like that, but she was ever so grateful that they had.

Reaching in, she pulled out the leather book that had captured Steve's eye. He placed his hand over hers, stilling her movements. "Kono, when I was getting some things for you, I glanced at this to see what it was. It's a journal of sorts, but it also seems to be letters that Adam wrote to you…starting with what looks like the first few days after he met you. I didn't read it, but noticed the date. I think it belongs to you now."

Kono nodded and clutched the book to her chest. She wanted to read it, but knew that she just couldn't face that much emotion right now. She cleared her throat and set the book aside for the moment. "Thanks, Steve. And Chin…Danny. I know I keep saying it, but I mean it."

Chin reached forward and gathered her into a hug. "Ohana, ipo. Ohana."

She took a deep breath, feeling the strength of her cousin and her ohana soaking into her heart. She would get through this. Sitting back, she wiped at her eyes before turning to her boss. "Hey Steve? I was thinking about getting into the water for a bit – try to stretch things out a little. Are you up for keeping me company?"

Steve grinned. "Absolutely. I've got a suit in my truck, or we can go back to mine. Whatever you feel comfortable doing."

Kono chewed on her fingernail before meeting Steve's gaze. "Can we go back to yours? I'm just not up for too many people right now."

Danny squeezed her shoulder. "Why don't we all go? Chin and I can grab some stuff for the grill while you and Aquaman swim, and then we can fix some lunch and go from there."

Kono nodded and stood slowly, taking the journal and heading down the hall towards her bedroom. She grabbed a towel from the linen closet and threw it into a bag, before moving into her room to change. She set the leather bound book underneath her pillow. Maybe she would open it later?

She struggled with getting her bikini top on and tied, but was adamant that she not ask any of the guys for help. Finally, she turned everything around so that the ties were at her front and knotted them, before spinning everything back where it belonged and securing the straps. It wasn't perfect, but it worked for now.

She slid her slippers on and threw her keys into her bag before heading back out to meet the guys. Hopefully this would help her clear her head.

It didn't take long to reach Steve's house, and while Steve and Kono headed through the kitchen and out to the lanai, Chin grabbed the truck keys and he and Danny headed for the store. The two were making it their mission to find things that Kono would enjoy. She had lost way too much weight – weight that neither she nor the baby could afford to lose.

Steve and Kono were quiet as they walked into the water. There wasn't a need for much conversation. Steve knew what Kono needed, and vowed to keep an eye on her as she attempted to purge herself of some of the demons that had plagued her.

He matched his strokes to hers as they started swimming. She was definitely off of her normal speed, but it wasn't unexpected, given that she essentially had been bedridden for the better part of a week. She would need to build her stamina back up.

It was about ten minutes into their swim when he heard her gasp, followed by a quick splash. No sooner had he turned, than he saw her thrash and start to slip under the water. He quickly reached her and grabbed her in a rescue hold, ever cautious of the baby and her bruised ribs. Whatever had caused this was also causing her to panic, and she thrashed and fought against his hold. "I've got you. Just relax and let me do all of the work."

Not sure what he was dealing with and not seeing a water predator of any kind, he started to swim them back to shore when he heard her grit out, "Cramp". Knowing that it wouldn't go away on its own, he hurried to get her back to shore.

As he was pulling her in, an unexpected wave caught her full in the face as she took a deep breath, and she ended up choking and coughing, trying to clear her lungs from the sudden onslaught of salt water.

Steve practically carried her once his feet were on the sand, rushing her to her towel on the grass. "Here you go, sweetheart. You just breathe, okay? You're safe now."

He could see where she was clutching at her left calf, so he immediately started trying to relax the muscle. He was a little worried at how much she was coughing, though. To be safe, he turned her onto her side in case she coughed up more water.

Hearing voices in the kitchen, he yelled for Danny and Chin. "Guys? Out here…quick."

Kono couldn't catch her breath. Between the pain in her leg and her inability to breathe without coughing, she was starting to panic. She couldn't override it, no matter what she did. Without warning, the fear turned to tears and she was crying before she knew what hit her.

Danny and Chin hurried out to the lanai and could see that something was wrong. "What happened?"

Steve kept working on her leg, but managed to tell them that she had gotten a cramp, and had taken in some water.

While Chin went for a bottle of water, Danny knelt down front of her. He could see that she was having a bit of a panic attack. "Okay, babe. Try to slow your breathing down, if you can. I know you got rattled a little bit, but you're going to be fine."

It didn't seem like she heard him, so Danny motioned for Steve to sit her up. Sitting hip to hip, but so his feet were facing the opposite of hers, he caught her flailing arms and pulled her into a tight hug. She needed to feel something solid until her brain caught up with the fact that she was safe on dry land.

Kono was as home in the water as she was on the ground, but with her emotions stretched as far as they could be stretched, she was floundering right now. Danny also wondered if this was partly embarrassment over something they all knew she couldn't control. He had a feeling that she thought she should be invincible in the water, somehow.

"We're all right here, Kono. You're safe now. Just try to match your breathing to mine, okay? In…and out…in…and out…" Danny kept up the pattern until he felt Kono settle a little bit. Once he was sure she was a little more aware, he sat back and tilted her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I need you to be honest here, okay? Do you feel like you need medical attention? Are you having any trouble breathing?"

The shake of her head was almost imperceptible, but Danny caught it nonetheless. "That's good. That's real good. Now…is your leg still bothering you?"

She shook her head again, and he smiled softly. "Better yet. Now…are you frustrated, embarrassed, mortified, annoyed, angry, aggravated, or relieved to know that you are human and get muscle cramps like a mere mortal, and that you don't have to try to be like Super SEAL here and prove your water worthiness?"

Kono actually tried to smile at Danny's mini-rant and Steve's snort of disbelief, which was what Danny was hoping for. He pulled her in for another hug. "Seriously, babe. No need to be any of those things. Got it? Your body is just telling you that it would prefer you took it a little easy for a bit longer. Shit happens…or cramps happen…but that doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?"

Kono squeezed her arms around Danny's middle. "Thanks, Danny."

He kissed the top of her head and scooted back even farther, knowing that Chin and Steve were anxious as well. "No problem, Rookie."

Chin handed her a bottle of water, but before she could take a drink, he had his arms wrapped tightly around her. "Are you okay?"

Kono nodded. "I am now. It just scared me a little."

Chin held her for a few more moments before sitting back, keeping her in a light hold. "Me, too, ipo. Me, too."

She squeezed his arm before turning to Steve. "Steve…thank you. I don't know what I would have done if…"

Steve rested on his knees and wrapped her up in a tight hug. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She could feel a slight tremor in his arms and knew he was more unnerved than he was letting on. There was no telling how many water rescues he had been a part of, but when it was a friend…emotions didn't care how proficient one was. "I'll be fine, Boss." She had calmed considerably in the time that she had been on dry land.

He let her go and grinned in relief. "I'm glad. And you're welcome."

Danny clapped his hands, wanting to change the mood. "Now that we've got the two water babies taken care of, who's ready for some lunch? Steve, can you fire up the grill? We got some kabobs to grill…chicken, shrimp, and steak. We also got ingredients to make salad, and it won't take long to put together."

Kono turned to face the three. "I just…I need a minute, okay?"

Chin smiled down at her. "Take all the time you need, cuz."

As they headed towards the kitchen to put some lunch together, Kono turned her gaze to the vast ocean in front of her. How quickly things had changed. It wasn't long ago that she honestly hadn't cared whether she lived or died. If it meant that she could have been with Adam again, she would have immediately chosen death.

But while today's ocean incident wasn't a near-death experience, it did give her pause to stop and think about how much she really had to live for. She was expecting Adam's baby in about seven months. She had a job that she was very good at. She had an ohana that would go to the ends of the earth and back for her.

It wasn't that she was over losing Adam. Far from it. His funeral was only yesterday. The pain of her grief was almost tangible at times, and she still spent more time in tears than not. But she could see that merely existing didn't do anything to honor Adam's memory. As she looked out at the sand, she chuckled to herself. Her life…her existence right this minute…was like walking through sand. Some moments were easy, and others kept her feeling weighted down and unable to move.

Shaking her head, she pushed herself up and stood, getting her bearings. Her calf was sore, but she could walk on it, so she turned and limped her way to the door and into the kitchen. She rolled her eyes, as the three men…her champions…all scattered as if they hadn't been standing there watching her out the window.

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After lunch – which Kono managed to eat a little of – the four headed back to Kono's house. They had offered an excursion of her choosing, but truth be told, she was tired and wanted to rest. She knew they understood, but it was as if her earlier outing had sucked all of her energy out of her.

As soon as she was in the door, she headed for her room. The guys all gave her space, knowing that to crowd her would end up a complete clusterfuck. She shut the door, knowing they were planning on catching up on paperwork in the kitchen.

As she sat on the bed, Kono closed her eyes and swallowed hard. With a shaking hand, she opened up the book to the first page. Her heart leapt at the sight of Adam's familiar, crooked, left-handed script. Taking a deep breath, her eyes moved to the beginning of the page.

Dear Kono,

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