A/N: So, here's chapter four. Let's see what the company is up to now.

The next Day, they reach a settlement.

"Aah! Civilization!" Said Balin. He sets about making a list of supplies they need.

"Oh! Oh! Can I look at the shops?" Begged Kili.

"Me too!" Agreed Fili.

"No Boys, I need you to look after your uncle."

"Look after Thorin?"

"He'll bite our heads off if he gets wind of this!"

It's an almost exact replay of Bilbo and Gloin's arguments.

"Listen, you two, I know you're disappointed, but someone has to do it."

"Why us-ooohhh." The clearing is deserted except for them.

"Look, it's not that hard. Just offer to keep him company and lead him over to a bench or something."

"If you say so."

"Just don't blame us when Thorin bites our heads off."

Balin smiled. "Very funny. Now don't you have a task to do?"

So that's how Fili and Kili wind up sitting on a bench with their Uncle. Their heads are still attached.

That's when Fili saw them.

He nudges Kili.

They speak slowly to Thorin: "Hey...Thorin...some...lasses...neesd...T...L...F."

"Tttttt...Llllll...Ffffff?"

Stressing each syllable slowly, Fili explains, "Tender Loving Flirting!"

Thorin's left eyebrow slowly rose up his forehead.

"So, umm. Bye!" Fili and Kili leave.

Fili and Kili saunter over to the lasses. "Hey there, gorgeous," Fili says to a greasy lass with straggly hair and a large, bulbous nose. She swoons and bats her eyelashes at him.

Fili smirks.

It is not after 2 and a half hours pass (Though he had no way of knowing it) that Thorin decided to go and round up his nephews. Slow or not, it's his job to look after them. He pushed himself off the bench and examines at the speedy blur around him.

Is that a blond head he sees? He walked over. No, not Fili.

As he wandered the streets in slow motion, Thorin felt himself attracting stares. He tries to speed up.

Now where could those two have gone? Time passes. It is only then when Thorin realizes that there are boys nearby...but they're not Fili and Kili.

They're moving at normal speed...wait...then they'd have to be going slower then normal... They're mocking me! Thorin feels a surge of anger and changed his course toward them. A blonde Man child, hair cut short, walked up to him in a slow-zombie-style. He says something to quick for Thorin to hear and his friends laugh.

They are laughing at him. They are laughing at him. Thorin opens his mouth to tell them just who they're picking on.

Big mistake.

"Ffffffoooooorrrrrr..." he starts.

The children double over laughing at the sound of his slowed down voice.

"Lookit me! My name is Mo and I'm sllooooowwww..." The boy mimiced.

"Is your name Mo..."

He said in an exageration of Thorin's voice.

Now furious, Thorin shook his head.

"Wweelll...it suits you better." He slurs.

"My name is Bailey." The boy adds, grinning cruelly.

"Kirk!" Bailey yells, pointing at Thorin.

A tall, skinny boy jerked at something on Thorin's side.

My sword!

He lunges for it, in slow motion, but the boy called Kirk easily skips out of reach.

"Toolotooslomo!" He shouted gleefully.

There is a time for fight, and a time for flight. Thorin knows that. To his credit, he tries to leave. But Gravity and slow motion meet...Thorin stumbles and hits the ground. Bailey says in that mocking slur,

"Stan! Bruce! Hold him!"

Four hands pin him to the ground.

"Sterling! Benny! Pin his legs!"

They say in a soft, low, slow, chant,

"Sic him Bailey. Sic him Bailey. Sic the slow mo. Sic the slow mo."

Thorin struggles, but he is out speeded and outnumbered. He closes his eyes.

Then come the kicks and the punches. A pair of hands tightens around his neck.

So this is how I die, he thought miserably. Not in valiently slain in battle, nor peacefully of old age, but bludgeoned to death by a group of immature bullies who have no idea who they ar taunting.

Thorin desparately fights back in slow-motion...

Dwalin was carrying a large bag of flour to the agreed meeting place. Then Fili and Kili crash into him .

"Dwalin! Have you seen Thorin?"

"Isn't he with you?"

"No! We , uh, had to get a drink at the, uh, fountain, and then he was gone!" Dwalin doubts that that was the reason they left, but there is not time for that. They have a dwarf to find.

They have no luck until...

A crowd of man-children caught Dwalin's attention, surrounding something Dwalin can't see. What is going on? Then he hears them shouting, "Slow mo! No go!"

It only takes a split second for Dwalin to understand.

Rage hotter then Smaug's flames consumes him. He drops the flour, unsheaves both axes, And with a warcry, he charges. At the sight of the furious axe-weilding dwarf warrior, Bailey, Kirk, Bruce, Stan, Sterling, and Benny scream like little girls and make themselves scarce.

"Cowards." Says Dwalin.

He pulls Thorin up and shakes him by the shoulders.

"Are you OK? Did they hurt you?"

And then Fili and Kili are hugging him, sobbing, "This is all our fault! We should never have left! We're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry!" Thorin, overwhelmed, awkwardly pats his nephews on the back.

"Dwalin! There you- what happened?" Balin demands as he takes in the scene: Bruised Thorin, tearful Fili and Kili, and still incensed Dwalin.

"They-they-" Dwalin sputters.

"They were bad!" Say Fili and Kili. Balin looks at Thorin, who pretends to study a lamp post, and sighes in defeat.

"Alright, let's try this again when everyone's calmed down a bit. Come on." As they walk back to camp, slowing down for Thorin, who refused to be carried or helped in any way. Dwalin picks up Orcrist from where the boys dropped it.

"Here." Thorin fastens it to his belt.

Dwalin was furious.

They had humiliated, harrased, bullied, teased, and ganged up on his king. His best friend, his cousin-king! They dared do that to a king! Just because of a little enchantment that hasn't warn off yet. Dwalin growls. Someone nudges his back. "WHAT THE #$% DO YOU WANT?!" He roared. Nori jumps ten feet into the air.

"S-sorry, D-D-Dwalin. I-I-I d-did-dn't see you there." As soon as Nori leaves, Dwalin checks his arsenal of throwing knives. Sure enough, another one's missing. Dwalin feels a prickle of annoyance towards the other dwarf, but knows that Nori's nothing compared to what he's going to do to those boys if he ever meets up with them again...

Fili and Kili felt guilty.

"Why did we have to go flirt with the girls?" Moans Fili.

"I hope he's not hurt too bad." Whispers Kili, watching Oin check Thorin over.

"We were idiots."

"No, brother. We were ignorant, which is worse."

"True..."

That night, no one gets to sleep until well past midnight.

A/N: Yeah...very Whumpy. Well, gotta go. Must write chapter 5 and go into hiding from all the people who are probably out to get me after reading this. *Peeps out from behind rock*.