A/N: Thank you all for reading. I love reading your replies - they really do make my day.
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The next month found everyone settling into a rhythm. Kono had seen Dr. Lau once, and was due to see her again this afternoon as a follow up. She was definitely feeling more pregnant, as evidenced by the continued queasiness that still plagued her, and her need to start wearing pants that weren't quite so form fitting.
The nausea wasn't as bad as it had been by any stretch, but it was enough that Kono was never really hungry, and rarely ate unless she was convinced or reminded to by one of the guys.
Chin and Steve were on the other side of the island interviewing a witness, while Danny had a morning court case. He had texted Kono and told her he was picking up lunch, and would be back in the office shortly.
Kono was working the smart table, and trying to figure out a pattern of the thefts in their latest case, but wasn't having much luck. Thankfully, Danny chose that moment to walk in, freeing Kono from the tedious monotony of running algorithms.
"I got some of that udon soup you liked. Mrs. Kiang threw in some extra chicken for you." Danny motioned her towards his office and set their lunch up on his desk.
Kono sat in the chair in front of his desk, and sipped at her ever-present water bottle. She was having good luck with infused waters these days – she found herself craving different fruits, so she had a couple of different pitchers that she filled each night.
Today's ice water had a tropical mix of pineapple, mango, ginger and lime. She grabbed the small container of soup and sat back against the soft leather. "This actually smells great, Danny. Good choice."
Danny just grinned as he thought about just how much progress Kono had made over the past few weeks. He still split his time between his house and hers, but now, she felt more secure and often stayed by herself when Danny wasn't there.
What had almost changed was her living situation. She and the guys had attended the meeting with Adam's lawyer. Upon hearing the reading of the will, Kono had almost fallen apart. Adam had left everything to Kono – including his house, cars, and millions of dollars in cash and investments. She wouldn't have to worry about finances for quite a long time, if she was careful with the money.
The lawyer had a hard time understanding that Kono didn't care about the money, and was well on his way to making Kono question her feelings and feel like garbage again – and Steve and Chin had taken great pleasure in letting him know that his services were no longer necessary.
It had taken a few moments, but the two had finally returned with a different lawyer in tow. Her name was Madeleine Gutierrez, and Kono immediately liked her. She had been a junior partner when Adam first had retained this firm's services, but had quickly worked her way to partner. And now, with a different vibe coming from her counsel, Kono sat and made plans for the estate.
Kono had told Madeleine that she couldn't live in Adam's house just yet – it was too painful. Madeleine understood, and helped her make arrangements for a service to maintain the property until she felt like she could either live there, or sell it if it just wasn't possible.
That had given Kono a sense of freedom that had allowed her to relax a little. She had taken a couple of trips to Adam's house – once with Danny and once on her own. Neither trip lasted long, but it was starting to become less painful and more memorable to be in his space.
Madeleine had also given her contact information for a couple of people she trusted to manage financial portfolios, leaving Kono satisfied that she wasn't going to be taken for a ride.
While Kono was slowly sipping the savory broth, her phone chimed an alarm. Glancing at it, she swore softly. "Crap…it's already 1:00?"
Danny glanced at her curiously. "What's up?"
Kono was rushing to put her lunch away. "I have an appointment with Dr. Lau at 2:00. Chin was going to go with me, but he and Steve aren't back yet."
Danny quickly finished the last bite of his lunch before standing up and grabbing his keys. "Well, let's get going, then Rookie."
Kono smiled softly. "I didn't want to assume, but I'd like it if you came with me."
Danny flung an arm over her shoulder after she grabbed her bag. "You know what they say about assuming, right?"
Kono just grinned as the two left the Palace, and headed towards the Camaro.
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Kono only had to wait a few minutes before she was called back. The nurse let Danny know that she would come and get him when it was time for the ultrasound, if that was okay with Kono. Danny was fine with that, as he had no desire to see anything else that was taking place in the exam room.
It only took about ten minutes before the nurse was calling his name. "Mr. Williams? If you would follow me please?"
Danny followed the older nurse down a few different hallways before finally coming to a closed door. The nurse opened it and motioned for Danny to go in ahead of her. "She's right in here."
Danny moved towards the stool that was up by Kono's head, and immediately noticed the tears in her eyes. "What's wrong? Babe, is everything okay?"
Kono nodded and wiped at her eyes. "The baby's fine…I'm just frustrated."
Danny looked from Kono to Dr. Lau, and back to Kono again. "Okay. What am I missing here?"
Dr. Lau's smile was kind. "No worries, Danny. Kono and I just had a little talk about her needing to try to take better care of herself. The baby is doing really well right now. But the fact that Kono hasn't gained really any weight to speak of, says that the baby is taking what it needs from Kono. Many women will have gained 4-5 pounds by their 16th week. Kono is only up about a half pound from her pre-pregnancy weight. Again, not worrisome just yet, but not something I want to see continue over the course of this pregnancy."
She turned her gaze towards Kono. "And like I told you, Kono. I get it. I really do. I understand the struggles you have had during this pregnancy, both physically and emotionally. All I want you to do is try to take care of yourself as best you can. I'm here to support you however I can. It's clear that you have a great ohana looking out for you – I just need you to look out for yourself as well."
Dr. Lau took Kono's hand and gave it a squeeze. "With everything you've had going on, it's really quite remarkable how well you are holding up. And I know it's not an easy thing to do. You've had to put your own needs aside to make sure the baby is safe, and it is. You'll see that in just a moment. But – and this is the gentle scolding coming – you can't forget to take care of you. Because at some point, if the baby keeps taking from you and you're not storing up, so to speak? You will find yourself in a bad way. None of us want that for you…we want to see you healthy, and eventually happy again. What I want to see you doing is really making an effort to find one thing that you can do every day that's just for you. Make it something you want to do – not something you think someone wants you to do. Got it?"
Kono wiped at a couple more tears with the tissue that Danny had handed her and bit her lip. "I'll try. It's all I can promise right this minute."
Dr. Lau finally nodded, satisfied that she had at least been heard. Susan Lau was not an unkind woman by any stretch. But she knew that sometimes, in her job, she had to give a large helping of tough love. But in this case, she knew that she had to tread carefully. She could not even begin to imagine the emotional weight that Kono was trying to carry.
It was wonderful that she had such a good support system, but at the end of the day, she knew that the only one who could take care of Kono was Kono. Susan knew that Danny and the rest of Kono's ohana would make sure that she was taken care of, but it was Kono who was going to have to walk through the darkness on her own. She just hoped that there would be just a little more light now than there was before.
Dr. Lau reached for the ultrasound machine and wheeled it closer. "Normally I have my ultrasound tech do these scans, but I really am anxious to see this little one myself. I'm not sure if we'll be able to tell the sex of the baby yet, but if I see it, do you want to know?"
Kono bit at her lip, suddenly unsure. This was something that she and Adam should have gotten to discuss together, but hadn't; and now she had no idea what she wanted. Hell, she hadn't even really let herself even think of becoming a mom – her head and heart had been fairly well occupied with other thoughts the past couple of months.
Danny looked helplessly at Dr. Lau, as he watched Kono drift into her thoughts. Susan nodded and squeezed Kono's hand. "It's okay if you're not sure, Kono. I'll tell you if I can see anything first of all, and we can always put the information into your chart if you decide you want to know later on. It's not something that you have to decide today, okay?"
Kono nodded and reached for Danny's hand. She pinched at the bridge of her nose, wiping the tears before they could trickle down her cheeks.
"Okay. So the gel is cold…hopefully it's not too bad." Dr. Lau grimaced on behalf of Kono as she squeezed the water-based gel onto Kono's lower abdomen and placed the transducer where she thought the best position was.
Kono's eyes were riveted on the screen, and the second the image of the fluttering heart became recognizable, she gasped audibly. "Is that…?"
Dr. Lau smiled. "Yep, that's the heart. You can see it's got a good regular rhythm. The heart rate is measuring at around 145 beats per minute, which is exactly perfect for a 16-week fetus. Baby has good movement as well. I'm not seeing any abnormalities in the cord, and I'll just tell you now that baby is facing the wrong direction to get any good views of gender."
She printed out a series of pictures, before wiping the gel off and helping Kono sit up. "I'd like to see you again in another month. I want to check your weight and see how things are going. We can do a 4-D ultrasound at that appointment – 20 weeks is usually a good time to find out gender. If you still aren't sure if you want to know, we will just put the information in your chart in case you change your mind."
Kono nodded and took the pictures, tucking them in her purse. "Thanks, Dr. Lau. For everything. I know I'm not the easiest patient, and I appreciate everything you've done."
Susan stepped forward and hugged Kono, sensing that Kono was really making an effort. "You, Miss Kono, are the farthest thing from a difficult patient. And I cannot wait to meet this little healthy baby, who will be coming from a really healthy mom, in about five more months. We'll have a birthday party to end all birthday parties, okay?"
Kono smiled in return. "Sounds good to me."
She turned to where Danny was waiting by the door and smiled. "So I'm under doctor's orders to do something that is just for me. So what do you say we call Steve and Chin, and either the two of us play hooky for the rest of the day or have them meet us if they're not busy? I'm feeling the need for a super cold, pineapple shave ice from Kamekona."
Danny shook his head as he opened the door. "Pineapple? Seriously? Ugh…the things I do for you, Rookie."
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After a quick stop at Kono's house to let Bailey out and run her around, Steve was carrying bags loaded with food. After referring to the list of safe foods Dr. Lau had given her, Kono had decided that garlic shrimp sounded good. It was one of the first solid meals that had actually seemed remotely appetizing to her – and Kamekona had plated her one of his better meals…shrimp coated with garlic butter over rice. Normally she just ate the shrimp, but once she thought of rice, she had to have that as well. Kono wasn't about to argue with actually wanting something to eat for a change.
Chin was carrying the cooler with their shave ice – Kamekona had put them into cups with lids, knowing it was what was on the inside that his favorite female detective was craving. He didn't have to make them picture-perfect for Five-0 like he did for the tourists, so he was willing to pack them up into to-go cups for an impromptu picnic.
Danny had the blanket and the bag of utensils and napkins that Kamekona had included with their order. Their plan was to find a spot along the water where they wouldn't get wet, but could enjoy one of Hawaii's postcard-worthy venues.
Kono walked slowly, her thoughts all over the place. She was beyond thrilled that the baby was healthy – she had worried that her inability to take care of herself would have done harm, somehow. So to hear that despite her failure to function for those first few weeks, she had done enough to allow her baby to grow stronger.
Danny had stopped and shaken out the blanket, turning to help Chin with the cooler, while Steve set the bags down. While they were setting up their picnic spot, Steve wrapped an arm around Kono's shoulder. "Walk with me?"
Kono nodded, knowing that Steve was just keeping an eye on her. Each of the guys had taken it upon themselves to check in at least daily…and she loved them all for it.
"You doing okay, Kono?" Steve's eyes were kind as he followed Kono's lead and sat down in the sand.
Kono brushed her hair from her eyes and nodded. "For today, at least. I saw Dr. Lau and she said that everything looks good with the baby. I'm glad, since I could have done some serious damage to it."
Steve looked genuinely perplexed. "What do you mean, serious damage, Kono?"
Kono took a breath. "Just…I don't know. Thinking about how little I cared about myself when Adam died – which by default means I didn't really care about my baby, either. I guess I'm just irritated with myself."
Steve counted to three in his head and reminded himself that Kono was dealing with a whole lot of emotions right now. "Kono, I care about you. You know that, right?"
At her nod, he continued. "You have to give yourself a break, here. You were just trying to survive those first few weeks. Nobody expected you to do anything more. You are going to be the absolute best mom. Do you know how I know that?"
Kono shook her head, frustrated at the moisture collecting in the corners of her eyes again.
Steve smiled gently. "Because I saw you, completely consumed with grief…and that was understandable. But Kono, in the middle of your grieving, you never fully gave in. You kept figuring out a way to fight and make it through another hour…it doesn't matter who you were fighting for. You did what you had to do, which is the epitome of a good mom."
Steve suddenly felt a cold chill envelop his gut and he had to swallow hard to regain his composure. 'A good mom did what she had to do? Was that how Doris felt when she faked her death? That she was doing what she had to do to fight and make it through another day?'
Steve shook his head, forcing those thoughts back into their compartment for now. "The point is, Kono, that you took care of your baby the best you could – and your child…yours and Adam's child…will be the luckiest baby alive to have your for a mom."
Kono wiped at her eyes before reaching out towards Steve, allowing him to pull her one-armed against his chest. She felt his hand running up and down her back, and relished in the feeling of knowing that Steve would be another ally when it came time to teach her son…or daughter…what a good man really was. Her child would truly know what family means.
"If you two are done warming the sand with your asses, our food is getting cold." Danny's eyes were twinkling as he stood in front of his friends. He reached out a hand to help pull Kono to her feet, while Steve stood and brushed the sand from his cargo pants.
Danny hugged Kono as the three headed back to their picnic. She was smiling again by the time they got to their food, and all three men chuckled as she practically dove into the take-out container. Giving them an eyebrow, she muttered, "What? The baby wanted shrimp."
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