Yeah! I got reviews!
Thanks to thelittlegnome for being my first reviewer and letting me know that this is actually decent. I think the fact that FFnet tells me how many people look at my chapters is too much information because it freaks me out. It looks like diminishing returns or attrition because the first chapters always have more views than the later chapters. My point is Thank You!
Also thanks to Queen Serenity for reviewing. I knew about the pairing feature but only as a reader, I had never used it. I fiddled with it till I figured it out(Clicked the 'x' first thinking it meant pairing and the arrow meant other characters but I got it) Thank you!
############A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love####################
"What is it?" Loki stared into the wrinkled face of the healer he had brought to the palace. Sigyn lay in the bed in the queens quarters, where he had placed her three days ago. She had not woken when he appeared at her side after her dream fell apart, when magicked her to the capitol, or in the days since.
His own magic had been unable to find the reason her body was slowly shutting down. So he had called every healer to the palace. So far none had any answers, so he was not expecting much out of this one.
"I believe I know the cause, yes. But I cannot prevent it happening again."
Loki looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Why not?"
The woman shook her head. "I can heal the damage, but after I leave there is nothing to stop her from staving herself again."
"Starving herself..." Loki smirked. "You do not know her, Sigyn could never starve." She had always loved food. Cooking food, eating food, even the smell of food was pleasing to her. Some people found pleasure in a book or a sunset, and Sigyn liked those things, but she loved food. From nothing more than biting into a simple fruit to a complicated meal conceived by the royal chefs, she loved it all. The idea of her starving herself was preposterous. "You are wrong, look again."
He started to walk away but she stopped him with her words. "Look for yourself, My Lord. She has not eaten for weeks. I checked several times."
He looked over his shoulder menacingly. "Heal her and we will see." Loki turned, his green cape flowing behind him as he strode the golden halls.
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Sign sat, staring aimlessly out the window, propped up in bed. She had never been in this room before, but it was in the palace, judging by the view, and it wasn't Loki's princely quarters. The sun had just set, darkness settling over the city with flares of lights appearing in the streets as people lit their hearth fires and magical torches to brighten the night.
She should have know that Loki would not allow her to die. As soon as she had slipped into a coma, her magic had failed, all of her body's resources devoting themselves to keeping her alive as long as possible.
With a sigh, she looked from the city below to the sky above, wondering how long she could live like this. Under Loki's thumb or trying to die... to be brought back and put in her husband's care again.
Sigyn threw the soup she had been holding across the room, only to have it land a few feet from the bed, too weak to shatter the cup, leaving it to spill and spin across the hard floor. Pulling her knees to her chest, blankets tight across her lap, her elbows folded in to her body, Sigyn buried her face in her palms as tears silently leaked out of her eyes.
Volsp stood, just inside the door. "You should eat, Your Highness."
Sigyn nodded, unable to look up at him just yet. He knelt at her bedside, and waited.
After a few moments spent composing herself, she turned her face to look at him, resting her head on her knees. "Seer, will I ever be free of this life?"
He chuckled warmly. He had always liked Lady Sigyn Gunnarsdottir, finding her amusing and strong of character like her father. Though she was not a warrior, her father a general in Odin's army and her mother a lady warrior in her own right, she had a strength that didn't come from hefting swords.
There had always been warmth in her eyes, a sense of peace in her manner, and a bar of steel in her spine. All of it was gone now, replaced with a cold void and the weakness of a baby. She was draped in the wet silk of sadness that clung to her skin.
"That depends on what you mean by free, My Lady."
"By my death or his, I imagine."
"Then I am afraid you will have a long wait. Both you and your husband will live for several millennium beyond today." He smiled at her, attempting to coax any emotion from her, anything but sadness and apathy. "But, there is another way, if you are willing to look for it."
This time she spoke with a sardonic tilt to her lips. "I cannot kill my husband, Sir."
He ducked his head with a smile. "No I don't imagine that you would, My Lady. I meant only that there are other ways, other than death... Ways to live, and be happy."
"What would you have me do, Seer?" Her head lifted slowly, looking at him.
"I can not tell you your choices, only help you find them." He paused, lifting a hand to his mouth in thought. "Of your husband I will say this... Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.(*1)"
"You think I should sit calmly by while he burns the nine realms with his ambition?"
Volsp shook his head. "That is not what I said."
"Then say something more than vague prophesies!" For a moment, she seemed to flare, life coming into her, but then just as quickly it was gone, her weakness returning swiftly.
"Gain your strength, My Lady, then gain your anger. Your husband is not the only one with the power to take control." Volsp stood then, worried he had said to much, and bowed a farewell.
Sigyn sat in her chambers, thinking on his words. When a servant came, to clean up the soup most likely, she ordered that she be brought another, along with a slice of bread, some ham, and an assortment of fresh fruit and vegetables. When it was brought to her, she couldn't finish it, though she tried until she nearly threw up. But she kept what she couldn't finish, and tried to eat for the rest of the day. And did the same the next day, and the day after that.
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Loki watched his wife carefully. Her renewed vigor for life was... both impressive and frightening. She had risen from bed today, though her feet could only take her to a nearby chaise before her legs would not hold her. She still would not speak to him, allowing select few into her private chambers, but he could watch her in his gazing bowl, and meet her in her dreams again.
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"Back again, My Lord?" Sigyn looked down on him from the second floor of a great library.
Loki looked up, pleased with what he saw. Even though she had not yet returned to her former health in real life, in her dreams she now looked as she always had. "I will keep coming back until you return to my side."
She swept a hand along the bannister as she walked along the wall of the oval room. "How determined are you?"
"Very." Loki stood at the bottom of the spiral stairs, wondering if she would come down to him or if he would have to go up to her. "I will not dissolve our union as husband or king."
"Would you do anything for me?" She stood at the top of the stairs, bent slightly over the railing to look at him more intensely.
Loki's face hardened. "I have told you, I will not give up the throne."
She nodded. "Yes, but other than that? Would you kill for me?"
"Of course." Loki looked at her with speculation. Sigyn had never, would never, ask anyone to kill for her. "What has happened?"
"Nothing has happened." She smiled gently. "If you would kill for me then what I will ask of you will be nothing."
She turned, the swirl of her skirts becoming a swirl of magic as she vanished.
Loki turned, expecting to find her behind him, but she wasn't there. He turned on his heel, scanning the room, but still didn't find her. "What will you ask of me?" He waited but got no response from the now empty library, nothing but the sound of his own boots.
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Sigyn sat with Volsp, a fire between them, hidden from all even Loki's gazing bowl. Volsp was casting in the flames, a two objects appearing in the fire. He nodded to her and her hands took over, her magic flowing into the metal. He whispered a spell, enhancing her powers temporarily. She was powerful enough to have needed training from Frigga, but this spell needed more than she had to offer. She would sleep most of the day tomorrow, if Volsp was correct about the amount of power this spell weaving needed.
When she started to falter, he gave her another boost, drawing on her reserves of magic usually left untouched for life threatening situations. Of the Asgardians that could use the magic flowing through them, very few could draw on that reserve power consciously. Sigyn was not one of them.
Soon the magic was done, the fire dying down to coals as the magic glowed briefly longer then disappeared. Volsp reached into the fire, removing what they had made. Despite being in the fire it was cool to the touch when he placed it in her palm. He wrapped his hand around her other wrist, his hand glowing slightly before he pulled away.
Cleaning up the fire, they silently bid each other goodbye, Volsp leaving the darkness of the deep room Sigyn had found for them.
After he was gone, she wondered if she could go through with it. Staring down at the object in her hand, knowing it would change everything, could she do what she had planned?
################## Warning.. REALLY LONG flashback
Sigyn sat across the table from Queen Frigga, referencing a book before writing a few sentences then looking at the clock. A pattern that repeated itself until Frigga noticed it. Setting aside the papers in her hands, Frigga watched the girl for a moment.
With an arched brow, an expression Loki had learned, she spoke, startling Sigyn. "Is there a problem, young lady?"
"No, You Majesty, I apologize." The nine year old looked down at her work again, trying to concentrate. A few minutes later there were footsteps in the hall outside the closed door. Despite her resolve to stay focused on what The Queen was teaching her, she looked at the door then swiftly at the clock again.
"Sigyn, what do you have planned after your lesson today?" Frigga's voice was knowing, it was close to the end of their session, and the young lady had all the signs of a student eager to be out the door.
Unable to, or unaware that she should, stop her youthful exuberance, Sigyn smiled broadly at her. "Prince Loki has said he will take me to The Lake of Ages. He found something wonderful and he wants to show me!"
"Ah, yes..." Knowing her son as she did, Loki could have found a lizard nest, a cave made of diamonds, or anything in between. It was most likely a lizard nest, but with Loki, it could be anything. "Finish your work, and I will check and see if he has arrived yet. As soon as you are done you may go."
"Thank you, My Lady!" Sigyn immediately dove into her work, writing furiously as she glanced between her paper and the tome.
Sure enough, when Frigga stepped outside, her youngest sat in the widow ledge, long gangly legs hanging down. Loki, at sixteen, was lanky: all arms and legs, with a floppiness to his movements indicative of a growth spurt. "Hello, Loki."
"Mother!" He jumped down from the window, stumbling only slightly on his large feet, as he rushed to bow, before going to her side. "Have you finished your lesson?"
"Not yet. I want to speak with you while Sigyn finishes her work." She sat on nearby bench, and motioned him over until he sat next to her. "I understand you have distracted my student with promises of something wonderful at The Lake or Ages..."
He nodded, but offered no other explanation until she pressed further. "What are you showing her? Girls do not appreciate snakes and bugs."
"Oh, nothing like that," He grinned, "I found something that looks like shooting stars!"
"What is it?"
He shrugged, with an indifference of youth. "I don't know."
Frigga tilted her head, placing an arm around her son's still slim shoulders. "Why are you taking Sigyn? Wouldn't a girl your age be more appropriate? Perhaps Sif?" Her son had shown enough interest in girls, that Frigga had no doubt there was a girl in court that he fancied.
"No." Loki made a face. "She is with Thor and the others. They don't care for anything other than battles and weapons." He looked at her, nearly level with her eyes reminding her that he would soon be taller than she was. "Sigyn overheard and wanted to see it. I want to show someone who will appreciate it."
"I understand." Frigga nodded. Loki was sensitive, finding more use in books and thought than most children. Traits not valued as much in Asgard as they should be. Frigga often wished Thor could be a bit more thoughtful, rather than charging off without a care for danger or wisdom. Loki could play at war with his brother but did not find much joy in it.
Brushing his hair off his forehead, smiling when he frowned and moved out from under her hand, mussing his hair again with his fingers, Frigga sighed. "Very well. Please remember, Sigyn, is quite younger than you are. Be careful of her safety, if she is with you, you are responsible for her well being. She may not be able to climb or run as well as you can."
"Of course, Mother. I would never put her in danger." Loki looked somewhat offended that she thought she had to tell him that. "I am not Thor."
"No, you are not, and I am grateful for that." Frigga kissed his forehead, ignoring how he wiped it away with a sigh. "Now come, let us check on the young lady."
When they pushed open the door, they found her cleaning off the table. She smiled brightly and scampered over to hand her pages to Frigga. Doing a quick curtsy, Frigga nodding a dismissal, she started to run out the door with Loki. "Wait!"
Both turned to look at her, impatience in their eyes, Loki bordering on impertinence. She only smiled. "You might want to change out of your gown if you are to go on an adventure with my son."
Sigyn grinned, dropping into another curtsy. "Thank you, My Lady. I will."
Loki rolled his eyes, grabbed her hand and tugged her through the door. Frigga could hear their footsteps as they ran lightly down the corridor.
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"Come on, Sigyn!" Loki stood waist deep in the water of the lake, watching the hesitant girl on the bank. He had stripped off his shirt and boots, leaving him in just his pants, while she stood in her undershirt and pair of slim trousers.
"You did not tell me we would have to swim to see this!" Sigyn's face twitched, looking over her shoulder at the city behind them, thinking of what her mother would say. "If I go home soaking wet, my parents will not let me out of the house for a month."
Loki shrugged, as if the answer were obvious. "Then don't go home until you are dry. Now come on!"
He dove under the water, swimming out into a deeper area, looking for the ledge he had found before.
Sigyn's eyes widened. "Oh, yes of course. That would work!" Without any further hesitation she floundered into the water until it supported her weight, her clumsiness in the shallows vanishing as she swam, the water making her look graceful.
Loki appeared a few yards away and called her over. "How long can you hold your breath?"
Treading water beside him, she made the most thoughtful expression he had ever seen a nine year old have. "I don't know. I have never measured it."
"Alright. I'll use my magic to help you breathe." He pointed down at the water. "There is a ledge, we are going to go under it and through the tunnel there. It comes up again and there is an air pocket. The stars are there, on the walls."
Sigyn looked confused, but nodded anyway. Loki took her hand, and counted. They both took a deep breath and began swimming down. Sigyn's fingers found the ledge, and she followed him to the tunnel. Squeezing his hand, she brought it to her throat. He nodded, and a soft glow covered her mouth, making her breath last longer. Then they were going through the tunnel.
Just when Sigyn thought Loki would have to give her more breath, she felt them tilting up and they broke the surface of a small dark pool. She gasped for air, breaking contact with him as she wiped water from her eyes.
When she opened them again there was a soft glow of magical light. Loki tugged her back and she found the edge of a long rock. They both sat on the rock as they looked around. The cave was so small that she could have reached up to touch the ceiling and Loki ducked instinctively. "There." Loki pointed across the small pool of water at the wall on the other side.
Sigyn gasped again, this time out of awe rather than need for air. "It is beautiful..."
The wall looked like it was made of black glass or obsidian, except that just under the surface, lights shot across it like shooting stars. "What is it?"
Loki stared at the stars. "I don't know. It might be a leftover piece of the sky."
"Or a window to the other worlds?"
He nodded, looking at her as she slipped off the ledge into the water again. "You can't be done already..." Loki had stared at it for hours the first time he had found it.
She shook her head, swimming the small distance to the star wall. "Can I touch it?"
"Yes. It didn't hurt me when I did." Loki slipped into the water following her.
Sigyn reached up with one hand, laying a wet hand hesitantly on the surface. When nothing happened she traced the paths of several stars with her finger tips, eyes bright as she stared at it. "How did you find this?"
"I don't know, I just did." Loki was quite happy with her response. She was just as fascinated by it as he had been.
They spent almost two hours in the cave before it started to get cold, and they swam out. The sun was setting when they surfaced in the lake, and Sigyn groaned.
"What is wrong?" Loki looked over at her as they made their way to shore.
Her face was sad as they climbed out of the lake. "The sun is gone. My clothes will never dry in time for me to stay out of trouble."
Loki shrugged. "Well, why not come back to the royal quarters? My mother can send word to your mother that you are there. You can change or dry off or whatever it is you want."
The palace held many families of the higher court, as well as special guests. Sigyn's family lived at the palace, so it would only be a matter of sending a servant down with the message. Sigyn nodded. "That might work."
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Loki stood, his shirt dry, pants still dripping, boots loose around his ankles looking up at his mother with a twinkle in his eyes. Sigyn stood next to him with her head bowed, undershirt and pants wet, her dry shirt folded over her arm, as she held a slight curtsy, slippers squeaking.
Frigga looked down at the two of them, carefully controlling her features, so they wouldn't see her laughing. "Sigyn. What have you to say to me?"
Loki tried to interrupt, but Frigga stopped him with a firm movement of her hand. She wanted to hear Sigyn's version of what happened.
Head still bowed, Sigyn spoke slowly and respectfully. "Your Highness. The Prince and I went to the Lake of Ages. He wanted to show me the stars on the wall, but they were underwater. We had to swim to get to it. I thought the sun would dry me off, but then we took too long and the sun went down."
Frigga touched her shoulder, prompting her out of her curtsy. "I won't say that I understand, but as long as you didn't get into any trouble, I will not be angry. But what do you want from me?"
This time, when Loki spoke up, his mother let him speak. "If she goes to her parents like this, they will not let her out of their rooms for a month. I thought that if you sent a message to her mother that she was with us... Just until she can dry off?"
Frigga sighed. The two damp faces looking at her... They hadn't gotten into trouble or caused any problems, just stayed too late in the water from what she understood. Being late was so low on the list of wrongs that Loki had done, that she would rather reward his effort to stay out of trouble. She didn't want to punish them for something so minor, even other children stayed out too late.
"Alright." Loki whooped, while Sigyn only smiled gratefully. "Take her to my rooms, I'll see if I have anything for her to wear while these clothes dry. Then I want you to change too, Loki." Frigga waved a serving girl over, quickly giving her the message to take to Lady Brynja. Sigyn would be staying for dinner with the royal family.
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Loki, in clean a dry clothes, stood with Sigyn who was dressed in what appeared to be his clothes from when he was a child.
"Thank you." Sigyn stood with her back to the fire, trying to dry her hair.
Loki blinked in surprise. "For what?"
"For taking me with you." Without warning, she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his bony chest in a tight hug. Loki stared at her in shock. Looking around. he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her small shoulders, returning the hug. Just as he was relaxing, he heard Thor's laugh.
Jerking away as the twenty year old Thor laughed from the doorway. "Got a girlfriend, Loki? Seems a bit small!"
Loki pushed Sigyn away, and took a few steps, turning his back on her as Thor laughed again and left. Loki's face was red, and he crossed his arms over his chest, not knowing what to do. Sigyn, watched him, before coming up behind him. Wrapping her arms around him again, this time from behind, she squeezed him once. Then she turned and sat down in front of the fire, finger combing her hair.
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*1 This is a quote from Jean-Jacques Rousseau. I did not come up with it.
Also, I have 2 different ideas about what Sigyn is going to do with that magic object. I think I'm going to write both and see which one works the best. Might take me a while to put up another chapter.