Author's Note: You know, I didn't realize just how completely done I was with HTML coding until I had to do it again. I am so fucking done.
I finally watched The Little Mermaid. It was adorable :33
You know what I'm really bad at? Updating on time. Or just update schedules in general, for that matter.
And here's Chapter Seven. You guys don't even realize how much fucking effort I put out for you. I want reviews, dammit.
"Wow, Karkat, you were really off your game tonight. I was totally expecting to get tackle-pounced by your mad skills!" Nepeta teased me as she followed me inside.
"Yeah, shut up, 'kay? Who's to say I wasn't letting you win as a special present?" I said half-honestly.
She gasped loudly and slapped her hands over her mouth. "Oh, don't say that! I was feeling so proud of myself! You're such a meanie!"
I tossed my jacket on the kitchen counter and turned to give the shocked teen a hug. "Hey, I was just kidding. I was off my game. You won fair and square," I murmured softly into her ear. She humphed at me, but hugged me back all the same.
"You better have been," she grumbled. She was right, of course; I really had been off my game. Under any other circumstances, I could easily have trampled everyone into the ground, but I had to take it easy this time because of my injury. The others didn't know and that was how I intended to keep it. As soon as the truth came out, the questions would follow, questions I couldn't answer without inviting even more, much worse questions. My excuse for the night was that I had let Nepeta win. Luck was on my side as far as timing went, anyway. Any earlier in my healing process and I would have had to sit out, and then this little excursion would definitely have raised some eyebrows.
Sollux and Feferi were next through the door, the former listening intently while the latter chatted his ear off. I didn't bother eavesdropping long enough to figure out what she was talking about so vehemently. Instead, I waited for Kanaya to cross the threshold so I could close the door. Once she was inside, I turned to my roommate and waited for a break in their conversation. "Still not feeling much like cooking, Sollux? Medley's great and all, but it doesn't do much for hunger."
He groaned and rolled his eyes so hard his head followed. "Fine. I gueth' I can cook th'omething. What all do you guyth' want?"
"I saw some spaghetti in the cabinet earlier," I offered with a shrug. "That good with everyone?" A chorus of yesses met my ears from the girls and I turned into the kitchen to start a big pot of water on the stove. I couldn't cook worth shit, and given the opportunity, I could probably find a way to burn water, so I left the cooking to Sollux and resigned myself to set up and clean up. Kanaya set her purse on the armchair in the living room and Feferi followed suit with her little handbag. They both then got the tablecloth out of the pantry and spread it over the dining room table while Nepeta got plates, napkins, and silverware from the kitchen. I was setting the stovetop to high and Sollux was getting the two boxes of pasta from the cabinet. The five of us had homemade dinners together so often, courtesy of Sollux, that set up rarely took longer than a couple minutes. As such, we were done before the water even warmed up.
Sollux leaned against the counter, waiting for the water to boil, and Feferi jointed him to continue their conversation. I added to the clean up effort going on in the living room. We'd left one hell of a mess after being ushered out of the house so quickly. "You know," I began, picking pieces of Chex Mix out of the rug, "I should be making you guys clean this up by yourself. It wouldn't look so bad in here if we hadn't been rushed out."
"Yes, Karkat, but considering you were the one who made the mess, after all, it is only fair that you help us clean up after you... at the very least," Kanaya rationalized in her normal, snarky way.
"Shut your face, Kanaya, it's not my fault I forgot you were coming today."
"But you see, my dear Vantas, it is your fault that you forgot." I flipped her off and stood, looking around the room for any more signs of college-freshman-filth.
"Alright, we're done here," I announced. "Who's up for a round of Wii Tennis while Captor's cooking?" I heard a humph and a giggle from the kitchen, but ignored it and turned to Kanaya and Nepeta, who simply grinned at me. I couldn't keep the corners of my mouth from quirking up as I set up the Wii. Soon enough, Nepeta had demolished both me and Kanaya, forty-love, and Sollux had finished dinner, so we turned off the system and moved into the dining room.
Dinner was as enjoyable an event as it always was with the girls around. Somehow they always managed to coax a genuine laugh out of me, and I didn't find it hard to be myself around them. Too soon, however, they were gone and I was left with dish duty. Sollux snickered at me while disappearing into our bedroom, but I couldn't muster the willpower to raise a soapy finger in the general direction of his voice. As soon as the door clicked shut, I dried my hands, water still running to keep up appearances, and buried my head in my arms, collapsing against the counter. The sheer amount of energy it took to act like everything was okay was astounding, overwhelming, and I was all but completely spent. I stayed like that for a couple minutes until I heard the door open. I snapped upright and quickly snatched the paper towel I'd used to dry my hands off the tile counter. Holding it to my finger, I cursed under my breath as Sollux walked out.
"What happened to you?" he asked nonchalantly, walking to the fridge and pulling out a water bottle. Why do we even have water bottles? I wondered. We have a dispenser on the fridge, so it's pretty redundant to keep bottled water in the same fridge. "KK?" I glanced at him; he had an eyebrow raised in my direction.
"Oh, uh, I nicked my finger on something," I lied. "It's not bleeding, but it hurts like a motherfucker."
"Uh-huh...," he nodded slowly, walking toward me. "Let me th'ee."
"Nah, it's okay. I'm fine." Shit.
His eyes widened in realization. "You're not fine, are you? It'th' your rib, ith'n't it?" I ignored him and continued washing the dishes. "Dammit, KK, why are you th'o difficult?" He sounded beyond exasperated.
"Just shut up about it, okay?" I muttered, looking away from him. "I'm just tired. It doesn't hurt, I am fine, and not the kind of fine where I say I'm fine when I'm really the exact fucking opposite of fine, the kind of fine where I say I'm fine and I really am fine. Strange concept, huh?" He sighed and leaned back against the counter.
"Alright, whatever. If you th'ay you're fine, I gueth' you are." He paused for a minute and stared intently at his water, inspecting the lid like he had to memorize every ridge for his life. "I don't th'ee why it'th' th'uch a big deal to you, honeth'tly."
"I already explained this to you," I replied quietly, turning off the faucet and drying my hands again.
"You alth'o th'aid there wath' th'omething you wanted to tell me." I froze. "Th'omething you haven't been able to th'ay before."
On the outside, I was cool, calm, collected; no different from him. But on the inside, I was a complete and utter mess. I didn't think he'd remember that after lightning started flashing. I blinked away the strange tears threatening my eyes and struck out toward the bedroom. "Just forget about that. It wasn't anything important, just something I blew way out of proportion that doesn't even matter now anyway."
"You made it th'ound like a pretty big deal, KK, and thingth' can only be th'o mith'judged." You don't know how wrong you are. Things can be the exact opposite of what they seem. You've misjudged me pretty badly yourself, you know. I didn't answer him and instead braced my hands on either side of the ladder. "Why don't you tell me inth'tead of pulling all thith' cagey, teenage-angth't-nobody-underth'tandth' bullshit?"
"God fucking dammit, Sollux!" I whipped around, yelling defensively and obstinately ignoring the glaring pain my rib punished me with. "I don't want to talk about it is why! I mean, Jesus dick, why don't you leave me the fuck alone about it instead of pressuring me for every fucking detail? Why can't you leave it at that?" I climbed angrily up the few wooden slats before realizing I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. "Son of a fuck," I growled, forcing my tired body back into action as I climbed back down. My foot slipped on the middle rung and, for a split second, I was afraid that Sollux's concern was about to be realized. Then I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and steady me, and I remembered that Sollux was still there. My cheeks burned in embarrassment as I stepped down and murmured my gratitude, unable to meet his gaze.
"You okay?" I searched for malice in his tone, for the slightest trace of smug satisfaction, but there was none. There was only concern.
"Yeah. I'm okay." I wasn't okay, really. I mean, physically, sure — but mentally, emotionally, everything was chaos. The one thing I could easily distinguish from the rest of the random shit racing through my brain was, Sollux was right all along and you're an asshole. You should have listened to him, and now he's standing there, patiently waiting for you to explain yourself, you knew this was coming. Shit. Now what? My brain was right. Shit. Now what? I somehow managed to remember what was so important I almost had to introduce my face to the carpet to do and turned to the dresser, yanking it open and pulling out my usual long-sleeved nightshirt and gray sweats.
Taking a deep breath and swallowing thickly, I started to peel off my clothes, hyperconscious of Sollux's presence behind me. Every muscle he moved, every gasp, every sigh, it was like another shot from a semi-automatic with an infinite clip. Only time would tell if I'd been able to dodge the bullets, though I rather feared each one had been fatal.
"Jeth'uth', KK...," he whispered tentatively. "That'th' really... wow." I risked a glance back at him to find him mouth agape marveling at my undesired war paint. The only difference between war and me was that the soldiers actually got a chance to fight back. Sollux looked away, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. "That ekth'plainth' a lot of thingth'." I shuddered against the rain-bitten draft the window let in and quickly pulled on my pajamas. He moved to his bed and I sat down next to him. I hated that it had come to this; which of my secrets do I reveal, my sexuality or my months of abuse? It had been over a year since it started, and I'd borne marks from them for just as long. Even I was surprised I'd managed to hide them for this long.
The other night, I had been about to tell Sollux I was bisexual; then the storm happened and instead I ended up holding him through the night, hiding him from the flashes of light and protecting him from the rumble of the thunder. Then, I'd been determined, sure of myself, although I wouldn't say confident. I think "confident" would have been a bit too exaggerated. But whatever I was then, I wasn't now. Now I was just as scared as he'd been then. Now, my only option to avoid suspicion was to reveal the secret that didn't have words for me to garble, the one that didn't require me talking and saying the wrong thing and trying to atone for it with self-deprecation and the revealing of even more secrets, things I wouldn't realize I'd been keeping from him until I said them out loud. I couldn't do that now.
I'd realized words weren't a thing that was going to happen between us after the first minute, but that didn't mean I'd been expecting to feel his arms around me again. At first, I pulled away. Then I remembered it was Sollux, someone I could trust, and I hugged him back — just as fiercely, just as gently. He didn't pull away, opting instead to hold me tighter as he spoke. There was an urgency in his tone I hadn't been expecting. "KK, thith' th'eemth' like a really ath'hole-ish queth'tion, and it kind of ith', kind of 'cauth'e I'm an ath'hole and kind of 'cauth'e of the question—" I rolled my eyes and he got the message, clearing his throat and continuing. "—pleath'e, pleath'e, pleath'e tell me none of thoth'e are th'elf-inflicted." His voice broke on the last "please."
I managed a wry smile at him. "That wasn't a question, dumbass." He opened his mouth to interject and I added, not allowing him time to speak, "I didn't do this to myself, Sollux."
"Holy fuck." It was all he could seem to manage, judging by how he kept repeating it. He didn't let me go for a couple minutes, but hey, I wasn't complaining. Eventually he untangled his arms and walked silently into the bathroom. I glanced over and saw his forgotten water bottle on the comforter behind me. Smirking, I picked it up and tossed it on my bed, climbing carefully up after it. Sollux soon returned to the room and settled into his bed. "Night, KK."
I smiled to myself. It had been a while since he'd said good night to me. "Night."
He moved around for a minute, rustling sheets and dislodging his pillow. "KK." I didn't react. "Did you take my water?" I snorted and dropped the bottle over the railing. "Ath'hat." I snort-laughed again and rolled onto my left side.
"Good night, Sollux."
Our favorite lisping douchebag had to retreat to the bathroom to compose himself.
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