Author's Note: Still really fucking done with HTML coding, but I think I'm gonna be doing it like this from now on anyway, so meh. That being said, my laptop is really close to being fixed. I got a new hard drive installed, but the assholes at Dell couldn't be bothered to give me a recently updated version of Windows 7 or any drivers, so I can't connect to wifi, I can't play any of my games, I can't even open *.eml files, which is what I use to move what I've already written on my phone to my PC so I can type it out, which is a lot faster. So, needless to say, I'm pretty pissed at Dell, because in order to install the update and drivers, I need be connected to the internet, and I can't connect to wifi without the driver that I need to be connected to the internet for. *sigh* Life. On top of that, I'm at my parents' and they're just as unbearable as ever (I'm gonna leave it at that...), which is definitely hampering the speed in which I can have my laptop fully repaired.
Really long chapter because why not. This is how I prefer to write, honestly. Not much one for short chapters.
Oh, because I've gotten some questions about this, "nine hells" is a reference to Icewind Dale (which is possibly one of the best RPGs I've ever played). It's another Baulder's Gate spinoff, like Shadows of Amn or Dark Alliance... I like Black Isle, okay?
In any case, Chapter Eight! Enjoy and review, please!
Even in the fifth week of my rib's healing, despite feeling completely fine and no different than I had two months before, my mornings were starting as early as they'd been when I first got injured. I'd started going back to school, too, although I was impossibly behind in most of my classes. My job at the coffee shop was kaput, which I wasn't particularly all that bothered about. I'd seen neither hide nor hair of Trevor or his gang since the day he'd busted my rib, so I'd dared to hope that he was finally done getting his convoluted revenge on me and would let me live my life already. They were hardly a concern to me, anymore. Instead, I found my thoughts mainly occupied by the night I showed Sollux my scars. I wondered relentlessly what it would have been like if I had told him my sexuality instead, or if I hadn't showed him either. Considering what I'd heard from him on another night, a pleasant occurrence which sadly had yet to be repeated, he thought I was straight. What that night also told me was that he felt something other than friendship for me, physical attraction at the very least.
It left me wondering what I really had to fear in telling him.
Time flew like it does and soon it was the day before my birthday. Sollux was acting jittery and anxious, so I knew he had something planned. But as horrible as he was at pretending nothing was going on, finding out exactly what it was was impossible. His lips were sealed with hot wax and super glue and the information was under lock and key in a dungeon made of obsidian. No matter how sideways I came at the subject, he always managed to see through my ruse and the truth eluded me still. He somehow told me everything I needed to know without telling me what I really wanted to know; don't make plans of my own, wear something light, grab "a th'wimth'uit" — that one had me wondering — and be prepared to go somewhere public. I guessed we were going to a pool, or maybe somewhere with a pool, or even a lake or something where he could have a bunch of people and loud music. Some of my wilder fantasies involved a private thing between me and him that somehow ended up in skinny dipping and sloppy makeouts. Unfortunately, I doubted those desires would come to light and, fun as they were to imagine, I went to bed June 11th with just as little information as I'd woken up with.
Next thing I knew, I was being yelled at to wake up by some heterochromatic-eyed asshole at seven thirty in the morning. "S'lux!" I groaned, slamming my pillow down over my head. My voice came out muffled under the fabric. "Isn't it, like, a universal rule that people get to sleep in 'til at least noon on their birthdays?"
"Not thith' birthday!" he replied unnecessarily loudly. "Get the fuck up, you can th'leep on the way there."
"Sleep on the way where, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked, forcing myself to sit up and wincing at the watery sunlight filtering in through the window. Why is there a window right in fucking front of my bed? I wondered irately.
"I'm talking about how you need to get a move on or they're gonna th'tart without uth'."
"They who?"
He ignored me. "Like I th'aid, you can th'leep in the truck, th'o get your ath' dreth'ed, grab your trunkth', and meet me in the garage in half an hour."
"Am I allowed a shower, Master Of Time Management?" I sneered, pulling myself to the end of the bed.
He replied curtly, walking out the door, "No."
"Gee, thanks, that's great! That doesn't leave time for breakfast, either, you know," I called, climbing down. "But maybe, just maybe, I can find some time in my small allotment to rub garbage under my arms. Think I'd smell bad enough then? Or do I need to carry it around in my pockets, too? Maybe I'll just eat that instead, I mean, who needs a nutritious breakfast when you have garbage to eat? I don't mean junk food, either, I mean literal garbage, like, you know, candy wrappers and milk cartons. If I'm lucky, I might find a rotting banana peel, or sour milk. There might even be some melted chocolate left in those wrappers! Wouldn't that be an absolute treat?" My sarcasm was unfortunately wasted on him because he was no longer in the room. I sighed and changed quickly, ignoring Sollux's advice to "dreth' light" and pulling on a long sleeved shirt and jeans. I quickly brushed my teeth and ran a brush through my untamable hair in the bathroom before returning to the dresser and digging out my gray and red swim trunks and dark gray surf shirt. I tucked them neatly under my arm and made my way out to the garage.
Sollux, who was waiting in the driver's seat with the door open, looked up as I entered and rolled his eyes, shouting, "Took you long enough."
I growled as I climbed in. "Shut the fuck up, it hasn't even been a full half hour." A smirk tugged at his lips.
"Go back to bed, you grumpy douche."
"Oh, I'll gladly return to my bed!" I shot back. "Or at least, I would if my wonderful, nice, warm, comfortable, not-the-front-seat-of-a-truck bed wasn't inside, twenty-plus feet away and counting, and I wasn't in a moving vehicle in the freezing fucking cold with a broken heater at seven fifty-four in the fucking morning on my birthday. Not to say that I'd normally give a fuck either way, but I think this should be the one day I'm allowed to sleep through, so this place you're taking me had better be the absolute shit to justify you pulling this bullshit, Captor."
"Jeth'uth' Chrith't, KK, you on your period?" That remark won him a hard punch in the arm. He snickered and rubbed his arm, pouting with mock hurt. "Go back to th'leep. And truth't me, it'll be worth it."
"Yeah, I'm gonna trust the same shithead who dragged me out of bed this goddamn early and still won't tell me where in the Nine Hells we're going." I muttered some more profanities under my breath and eventually settled as comfortably as I could into my seat, leaning my head against the seat belt and closing my eyes against the early morning sun. I dozed and time moved unthinkably fast around me until Sollux parked, at which point I sat up straight and stretched out my legs, glancing at the time on the digital display; 9:22. Looking around, I saw nothing that I recognized; a massive, wide-open parking lot for an even bigger brick building, a lot of open land, and the occasional road cutting through the grasses. Yawning, I asked calmly, "Sollux?" He hummed in reply and started shuffling through some papers he'd stuffed in the visor. "Where the hell are we?"
"Wait. You'll th'ee th'oon enough, you impatient ath'."
"How 'th'oon' is 'th'oon enough'?"
"That'th' cute, KK, keep it up and I might adopt th'ome of your ridiculous curth'eth' ath' repayment."
"Oh, ha ha, I am so fucking flattered." Sollux found whatever papers he was looking for and we continued to bitch at each other as we exited the car and walked toward a smaller building I hadn't noticed before. Sollux opened the door and I followed him in to find myself in an IHOP. It was practically empty, despite how many cars there were in the parking lot; behind the counter stood a female cashier, I could see the chef in the back, leaning against the wall and checking his phone, I noticed two waitresses chatting in the hall that led to the kitchen, and there was a lonely old-timer sitting at the counter, sipping away at his coffee with a paper in hand. Finally, I turned to the right to find, much to my surprise, Kanaya, Nepeta, Feferi, Gamzee, Jade, and Dave. Grinning, I walked over to them, fist bumping the lattermost listed of the six and waving hello to everybody else before taking my seat. Sollux followed suit with a welcoming smile and a word of greeting before sitting next to me.
"Wow, Sollux. I forgive you for waking me up at the asscrack of dawn. Good on you for pulling this all together."
He smirked at me. "Don't give me that bullshit, KK, th'even thirty ith' hardly early. Beth'ideth', you don't need to thank me yet. You haven't even th'een the beth't of it." I looked at him quizzically, but decided not to pry for the time being. I had a feeling the answer was right next door, so I just let the anticipation build while we ate. A male waiter with a self-confident smile and a bright blonde streak in the middle of his light brown hair came to our table within a couple of minutes of our arrival. "Hello, w-welcome to IHOP. W-What'll it be for ya?" he asked. The stutter in his nasally voice went largely unnoticed. Everyone at the table ordered differently and Sollux and I got the same thing we got every time; an order each of a triple stack of pancakes, his with honey and mine with cherry syrup, and sides of bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns.
I caught Jade and Nepeta eye our dishes in unshielded doubt as they arrived. "Are they even gonna be able to eat all that?" Jade wondered out loud. I shot her a devilish smile and tucked into my meal. She stared in astonishment, slowly eating her own. About forty-five minutes later we were all finished. Sollux and I had cleared our plates, much to Jade's utter disbelief, and it wasn't long until we were exiting the restaurant. Sollux waved goodbye to the others and steered me back to the truck.
"We're leaving?"
"No, you juth't need to grab your th'wimth'uit. Then we'll go in."
"What the fuck even is this place?" I questioned, leaning into the truck to get my surf shirt and trunks.
"Would you th'top ath'king? You'll th'ee in, like, two minuteth'. Shut your mouth already and get your shit together. We have to wait for the otherth' to get back and then we can go in." I groaned and slammed the door shut, walking around to the front of the truck with my swimwear in hand. Leaning against the hood of the vehicle, I studied the building while we were waiting. For whatever brilliant marketing reason, there was no sign above the door, or anywhere for that matter. It was essentially an unmarked building. I did, however, notice an arrow pointing to the left side of the massive brick structure, which led me to believe that the entrance was on the other side for, again, some remarkable marketing reason. Finally, the rest of our party joined us and Sollux allowed me to begin making my way towards the building. He walked beside me, matching me step for step, and the group of six following us chatted amongst themselves while I remained silent. I was too excited to talk, anyway.
I heard a child scream and roaring water as I walked along the side and wondered exactly what the fuck kind of place Sollux was taking me to. When we began to round the building, I tried to glance up and see if I could make out with the sign — I-I mean, make out what it said — but my raven-haired roommate (asshole) hit the back of my head. "Ith' it literally impoth'ible for you to be patient?" he muttered.
"Maybe," I replied under my breath. The word coaxed a smile out of him, but he didn't respond.
As soon as the door came into view, he stopped and asked, "Everybody got what they need?" They all confirmed and I decided to be a courteous fucker and open the door for them. Really, I just wanted to get inside and see what they'd been planning for a week, and the sooner I could get them in, the sooner I could get in. Unfortunately, the size of our group meant I was stuck behind the opaque door while the rest of them squeezed and filed through the open arch. I finally managed to make it in after them and was immediately awestruck at the sheer mass of the structure before me; in the middle of the room, towards the back, was an enormous coil of tubing that stretched from a platform near the ceiling to the deep, glistening pool on the ground level, the latter of which extended out nearly twenty feet in every direction. Various colorful, slightly less impressive slides decorated the edges of the smaller pool. Closer to where I stood was a much bigger pool, approximately fifty feet in length and thirty in width, that was constantly wracked with wave after wave of cool, crystal clear spray. A shallow kiddie pool was tucked into the corner opposite the food court, changing rooms, and lockers, and both sections were separated by their own ropes. It was all blocked off by a wrought iron fence with vertical bars and two gates, one a push-to-open entrance gate and the other a one-way-only rotating exit gate. A kiosk with three windows and three surprisingly short lines stood by the entrance gate.
I turned to Sollux, who had migrated from the front of the group to the back, and stared in completely speechless disbelief. He looked back at me hopefully, and I tried to remember how to talk through the excited haze that was my mind. "You... fucking... water park... dude." He broke into a grin and couldn't help myself from hugging him like the world was ending. "Sollux, this is fucking amazing. Thank you, oh my fucking god." Too soon, I was pulling my arms back to my own side and found myself unable to keep from grinning like a banshee.
"Glad to th'ee you're happy. Birthday treat, we're getting all-day path'eth'," he informed me. I was once again incapable of speech. He just chuckled and turned to say something to Feferi. I was lost in my thoughts as I stood behind him in line, stepping forward whenever I caught movement from in front of me and trying (failing) to stop smiling. Kanaya kept glancing back at me then saying something to Nepeta, who laughed and said something back. Jade and Dave were locked in their own conversation, and Gamzee was listening to and occasionally interjecting in Sollux and Feferi's discussion. I was perfectly content not saying a word, probably because I didn't think I could manage a coherent one if my life depended on it.
Eventually, we were next at the window and I heard Sollux say, "All-day for eight." I glanced up in time to see the woman behind the glass blink in surprise before calculating his price and asking for each person's wrist so that she could put the wristband on. The all-day bands were a dull yellow. The next minute or so went by in a blur and then I was in the changing room, replacing my clothes with swimwear. Sollux, who'd come wearing his trunks and had just had to remove his shirt and shoes to be ready, was waiting for me outside of the tiled room. "Our locker'th' over here, KK," he said when I exited, leading me to locker #413. I put my stuff in it and then, making sure he had the key his the pocket of his swim trunks, slammed the locker closed. "You ready?" I nodded and he turned toward the pools, ducking under the rope. I followed suit and dove after him into the wave pool.
The day went by far too quickly; we'd regrouped around one and gotten lunch, which was good food for a water park food court, and about half-past four, we were all exhausted from swimming and climbing to the top of the slides — the giant spiral-slide was fucking awesome and by far the highlight of everybody's day; the only problem was that it also had the most stairs to climb up. Dave almost fell down one flight and Jade had the time of her life making references to his shitty comic. Sollux rounded everyone up soon after and suggested we move the party to our house. They all agreed and I even convinced him to let me drive home because he'd driven us here, although he'd had to feed me directions because I still didn't know where we were. By quarter-past six, we'd all met up once again at our house and I was shocked out of my mind to see everyone walking in with various wrapped things in various sizes and various shapes. "Oh my fucking god, no, you guys got me presents, too? This is absolutely not happening, take them all back, return them, keep them, whatever, I don't want them. That water park was gift enough."
"Karkat, please be more grateful. Some of us cannot return our presents," Kanaya pointed out.
"Yeah, Karkitty, I got mine special-made for you!" Nepeta added somewhat hesitantly. I shook my head.
"Then keep it, I'm serious guys, I don't want this shit. It's too much."
"Dude, shut the fuck up and just accept our amazing, well-thought out, pricey gifts," Dave interjected.
"No, take it for yourself, whatever it is. Whatever they are. I don't want them. I mean, hauling your asses out there for a fucking water park, not only is that expensive in itself, but that's a lot of time wasted on my behalf. I don't want to—"
"Karkat." All it took was my name from Sollux to get me to stop arguing and accept what everyone got me. Nepeta's gift came first; a perfect 1'x1' cube wrapped in white paper with a black pawprint pattern. I unwrapped it carefully, leaving the paper intact because I knew she would get upset if I ripped it, to reveal a brown cardboard box, complete with mailing label. Looking curiously at her, I took the scissors Sollux offered me and snipped the tape on the edges, lifting the lid and finding two halves of a Styrofoam shell. I cautiously pulled it out and separated the halves. What was resting between them was a gorgeously intricate snowglobe. The inside was sculpted with a detailed duplicate of the first house we'd lived in growing up, complete with our parents and us standing in front of it; a perfect physical representation of one of my favorite pictures taken there. "Oh, Nep," I murmured, turning it over in my hands.
"I remembered how you used to say you wish it would snow when we lived there, so I guess now you can look at that and imagine it's snowing," she said bashfully, a light blush brightening her cheeks. We lived in the southernmost part of a suburb in Williamsburg, Florida until I was nine, and I'd only ever seen snow in movies and read about it in books. I was surprised she'd remembered that, having been only six when we moved to Oklahoma City, and more stunned still that she'd thought to make something like this. I set it gently on the coffee table and stood to give her a hug. "Thank you. I love it," I whispered in her ear. She just smiled at me and I sat back down. Kanaya handed me her gift next — a small, thin rectangle I assumed could only be a DVD.
"Well, I hardly think I will be able to top that, but I hope you like my present either way." I began unwrapping it in response and rather than the expected movie boxshot, I uncovered a delicate silver picture frame. Inside it was a photo of her, Sollux, and me at our high school graduation, his arms around both of our necks and happy smiles brightening our faces. I had two fingers above Sollux's head and Kanaya had the most mischievous sparkle in her eyes. Shortly after this photo was taken, Kanaya's shit-eating grin was explained when she and her best friend Vriska had left me in only my underwear after we all went out swimming. Regardless, that had been one of the best days of my life. I gave Kanaya a heartfelt thank-you and listened with an amused scowl as Dave and Jade fought over who would give me their present first. Feferi ended the argument by placing hers on my lap and the two sat down in embarrassment, Jade conceding to Dave for first present-giving right.
I tore apart the paper on Feferi's gift and thanked her for four new games; Civilization IV: Gold Edition for PC and the entire Jak and Daxter trilogy for PS2. Gamzee somehow managed to get his present in front of me before Strider did, so I smirked at the blond while I opened Makara's gift; it was a pretty big cube of something — the paper crinkled when I pushed against it, so it couldn't have been a box. The paper ripped off easily to reveal a black comforter scattered haphazardly with gray dots. The stitching was purple. He suggested that Sollux and I use it as part of our blanket nests for when we have movie marathons, and I thanked him and immediately received Dave's gift. It came in the shape of a smaller, more tightly wrapped, slightly slimmer rectangle than Kanaya's had, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was a CD. I opened it quickly and wasn't disappointed to find his trademark shitty Sweet-Bro-and-Hella-Jeff-style album art. Opening the case, I found a plain white disk with Hella Jeff's face coming in from the right side. It wasn't hard to tell it was an album of his music, which wasn't as bad as I pretended it was, though it was still pretty bad.
"What do you think?" he asked snarkily, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back in the armchair.
"You little shit," I stated. He raised an eyebrow at me, which was about as much of a reaction as I could hope to get out of the fair-haired coolkid. "You said your gift was expensive. You had me feeling like an ass for wasting your money by not wanting to accept it. And now I get this cruddy junk and—"
"Hey, hey, Karkles—" I won't even get into how he learned of the nickname. "—time is money, and I spent a lot of time on that album, so hold onto it because that shit is fuckin' gold. Beats sicker than a beached whale and hooks as fresh as a sushi dinner." Feferi giggled at his horrible aquatic similes as I rolled my eyes and set the jewel case next to Nepeta's snowglobe. I took Jade's present and pulled away the paper, which yielded a really cool red lava lamp. Yet another thank you passed my lips and my attention turned to Sollux as he began to speak. He'd been silent during most of the exchange, resting his head in his hands in what I guessed was physical tiredness and only perking up when I'd thanked Jade for her present.
"My preth'ent wath' the water park, th'o that'th' all you're getting from me and you better be damn grateful for it." I snort-laughed and he smiled and leaned back in the couch. "Oh, alth'o," he added, a suspicious note of satisfaction in his tone, "the cake in the fridge. I alth'o got you that." Everyone else stood up and made their way to the kitchen, Dave letting out a quiet "hell fucking yes," and I pushed myself to my feet. Before I followed them into the kitchen, I rolled my eyes at Sollux.
"Smug asshole."
He shot me a grin. "And don't you forget it."
Again, I couldn't help but smile back. "You comin'?"
"Nah," he shrugged. "Think I'll th'it it out for now. Th'ave me a pieth'e, though."
"Fuck no," I returned as I walked into the kitchen, vowing silently to give him my own slice if I had to.
Review please! ^-^