Author's Note: Chapter eleven, So Many Days Of Independence, or the Alternian title, In Which Sollux Is A Complete And Total Badass In Every Way And Karkat Is Afraid For Everything He's Worked For Years To Get; Sollux Has A Low Mood Swing And Karkat Talks Him Up And Him And Sollux Have A Bitch-Off And More Fluff Happens. This took a while because I'd written the first fucking paragraph on my laptop and had no way of getting to it for a few days because I was at my parents' house and it was at my grandma's and I couldn't just rewrite it because I really liked the way I wrote it and I couldn't fully remember it, I just knew I wanted to keep it as is, and I wrote most of this on my older sister's computer, which is running Windows 8 AND CAN I JUST SAY HOW CONFUSING WINDOWS 8 IS?! That is all.

Those "just"s are reminding me that I really seem to have an issue with that word. I use it way too often. I try to take it out or replace it with something else, but it simply doesn't sound the same. "...it just doesn't sound the same." See? Ugh. #LifeProblems

Chapter Eleven, god I need to shut up. Enjoy and review, please! ^-^

School was out, I was injuryless, and it had been three whole weeks since Sollux and I became boyfriends — and even now I was having trouble believing it. I wouldn't have thought it of him, but he was a very affectionate lover; always showering me with praise and kisses and compliments, always wanting to be in contact with me, hands or arms or legs brushing when we sat side by side. It made me feel very desired, and it also made me wonder exactly what he'd felt for me before. Not that I really cared. Just knowing that I could now walk into the room and kiss him, or lean against him when I sat down, or curl up beside him at night — we'd been sleeping in the same bed since the first night, and I didn't have any trouble falling asleep when he was by my side — that was plenty enough for me. Now it was Fourth of July and we hadn't done anything except cuddle on the couch all day. Later there was gonna be a fireworks show at the park that we were planning to go to. We weren't meeting anybody there. It was just an us day.

The park was crowded, which wasn't to say I'd been expecting anything else. There was every type of person from the rare elderly couple that could still stand the boom of fireworks seated on a bench to huge families with at least four kids setting up picnic blankets complete with generic wicker basket. Sollux and I were far from the first to arrive, and it was already dark by the time we did, so most of the open spots along the main path were taken.

"Let's walk a bit," I suggested. "Find some place to watch from where the view isn't more obstructed than oh, fuck, shit, shit, fuck, nope, no, nuh-uh, oh fuck no." The comparison I was making was completely forgotten and I nearly tripped trying to get behind Sollux.

"KK, what the shit wath' that?" My heart was pounding long after Trevor disappeared behind a bush. "Th'eriouth'ly, you look like you juth't th'aw a ghoth't." He leaned in and muttered teasingly, "You didn't, did you?"

I shook my head, eyes wide. "Worse. Trevor." Sollux's brow took on a much more serious set.

"Hold on. You mean ath' in the ath'hole who—"

"Yes, I mean as in the-asshole-who, shh!" I said hurriedly. Yes, Trevor. My ex-abusive-boyfriend for which the "ex" only applied to one of the terms.

Sollux followed my gaze. "Where ith' he? I've got a couple of thingth' I'd like to th'ay to him." His cold tone was menacing and merciless. It scared even me.

"Sollux, please don't start anything tonight, okay? I let you get involved in this once before, I'm not going to let you do it again."

"I've been as involved as I could be from the th'tart, even more now. Where ith' he?" he repeated, taking a step toward where I was looking. I reached out and grabbed his arm, trying to yank him back.

"Dammit, Sollux, fuckin' don't. I don't want him to—"

"He ith'n't gonna do shit. KK. Lith'ten, 'cauth'e I'm not gonna th'ay thith' again. You're mine. He hurt you. Anyone who toucheth' what'th' mine ith' gonna have hell to pay onth'e I catch wind of it. Got it? Th'o tell me where he went. He hath'n't yet paid hith' dueth'." I wasn't sure what possessed me to point towards the bush, but I regretted it almost immediately. Chasing after him, I pulled on his arm and did the only logical thing that came to mind; beg.

"No, wait, Sollux, don't, please, come on, don't, Sollux!" I clapped my hand over my mouth after practically shouting his name and attracting the attention of a blond jock receiving a worn leather jacket from his father. I tugged Sollux as hard as I could to the right, behind the bush, and swore furiously. "Goddammit this was a really fucking bad idea, why did you drag me over here, now I think he knows I'm here, shit, fucking dicks, and his dad is over there, too, oh balls, this is bad, this is really fucking nowaitwhereareyougoing?!" I hissed violently as my current boyfriend stood and walked away from the visual safety of the bush. He shrugged and kept walking towards my ex-boyfriend.

"Hey. You're Trevor, right?" I froze in place. Sollux, you fucking idiot, I'm gonna kill you.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. And you have some funky name, uh... Castor, isn't it?"

"Cloth'e. Th'ollukth' Captor, in the flesh. Anyway, I'm glad I caught you. I've been thinking about the offer you made me couple monthth' back and I think I've changed my mind. Doeth' that th'till th'tand?" I couldn't believe my ears. No way. No fucking way. Sollux isn't asking to join their gang, is he? He wouldn't do that to me. Right? Oh, fuck.

Trevor chuckled. "Can you still throw a deadly right hook?" I peeked my head out from around the bush in an attempt to read Sollux's expression, in an attempt to find some reassurance that he wouldn't hurt me like that, but his poker face was better than usual in the dark.

"Sure, but... that'th' not the only deadly thing I can deliver." His tone, on the other hand, found no hampering in the darkness, and I most definitely recognized a pickup line when I heard one. Oh, god, no, this is worse, this is so much worse, don't let this be happening. He knows I'm right fucking here and everything, what the fuck is he trying to pull?

"Oh?" He sounded intrigued, to say the least.

There's a popular saying that actions speak louder than words. It's a statement I'm rather inclined to agree with. Sollux didn't need to say a word. His actions spoke for him, their message as clear as the night sky when he reached out to grab Trevor's face. He screamed at me without ever opening his mouth as another hand snaked around my ex's waist. Trevor's suddenly lusty eyes cut through the darkness as he leaned into Sollux's embrace, and shot violent whispers dripping with blood through my ears. The movements were so fluid and quick, they happened over the span of forever and the same instant all at one, and then just like that, the world fell into deafening silence as Sollux closed the gap.

A firework I never saw crashed in the sky with a much quieter explosion than the warning shots going off in my mind. Rather, it illuminated and silhouetted the image of my boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend sharing a long, languid kiss against the backdrop of a lake shimmering with moonlight. I couldn't look away. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't feel anything, just watched passively as my heart was torn from my chest and shredded before my eyes.

Before the light of the firework had faded from the park, Sollux moved his head away from Trevor's. "Th'ee what you're mith'ing without me?" he asked, louder than I really thought was necessary for his target audience; namely, the man he'd just kissed in full view of his boyfriend. A few heads from his family turned toward them as Trevor nodded numbly and leaned in for another. Sollux pressed a hand to his chest and stopped him. "What are you doing? I'm not going to kith' you. We're in public."

"But you just—" he began, confusion casting a shadow over his features. A sudden look of complete horror overtook it and he whipped around to meet the gaze of his father, a tall, well-built man who was currently staring disgustedly at his son. "Oh, no. No, no, no." Realization clicked in my brain and Trevor and I widened our eyes simultaneously. He... Sollux just... he just revealed Trevor's sexuality. To his father. The blond wheeled back around and glared at my boyfriend like he wanted nothing more than to rip his throat out.

"That was intentional, you dick. Who fucking told you? It was Vantas, wasn't it, I'm going to kill that fucker—"

Sollux cleared his throat to get Trevor's attention. Leaning down the smallest bit so that his face was just an inch away from Trevor's, he said, loud enough for me to hear, "No, and let'th' get th'omething th'traight, shall we? If you ever th'o much ath' lay a finger on Karkat again, I perth'onally will have you arreth'ted for multiple accountth' of battery. I know for a fact he'th' got the th'carth' to prove it, th'o you could be fath'ing jail for life. I wouldn't rith'k it, if I wath' you. Oh, and by the way..."

He trailed off and straightened up before taking the liberty of introducing Trevor's aghast expression to his fist for the second time, a blow that left the shorter man staggering back. He tripped over his feet and spun mid-air just in time to taste the dirt. With that, Sollux nodded at the blond's father and turned to leave the clearing. I watched long enough to see the man haul his son's ass off the ground by the collar and drag him away in a different direction before leaning back and making sure Sollux couldn't see me hidden behind the bush. He turned towards where I was when he passed, but before he could say anything, I kissed him hard and and grabbed his wrist.

"Whoa, shi— oof!" I cut off his exclamation by pulling him to the ground with me. He slammed heavily onto the grass. "Fuck, KK, what the hell?!" Instead of answering, I pinned his wrists to the grass and crushed our lips together, long and deep and sweet. "KK, what—?" I shooshed him softly.

"You, Sollux Captor, are the biggest asshole I've ever met." I kissed him again. "How fucking dare you," I managed between kisses, "share your wonderful lips... with that abusive fuckass... on my behalf? ...How fucking dare you... find a fucking way... to pull that off?" The effort of keeping my tone steady left me panting by the time I'd finished. I held myself up over him, our breath mingling in the night air.

"Shit, dude, what the fuck are you even talking about?"

"You are the worst person I've ever had the misfortune of caring about so much, what the fuck is wrong with you, why the hell would you do that to me? What did I do so wrong or amazing that made someone like you want to have anything to do with me?"

"Alright, KK, I can't tell if you're upth'et or pleath'ed with me—"

"Yes."

"What?"

I kissed him again and whispered, my voice almost completely drowned out by the explosions in the sky — the fireworks show was in full-swing now, and they just kept coming — "Yes, I fucking am. Thank you. Thank you so much."

Sollux looked beyond baffled until the light of realization dawned in his eyes. "You're welcome, I think. And alth'o, you need to know that I didn't mean any of what I th'aid. I would never be a part of th'omething that hurt you th'o badly." I moved to the side and lay down in the crook of his arm, watching the fireworks as he continued to explain, his voice starting to get frantic. "And I juth't hit on him th'o that he'd try to kith' me. And when I asked him what he wath' mith'ing, I wath' trying to get hith' dad'th' attention. And I th'aid I wouldn't kith' him in public th'o that hith' dad would think he wath' coming onto me, not the other way around. And—"

"I get it. I know."

"Okay." He paused and watched the sky with me. "I did mean what I th'aid afterward, though. If he toucheth' you again, I'm not gonna heth'itate to call the copth'."

"I know. I really appreciate it," I murmured, giving him a kiss on the cheek as another rocket burst in the air.

"You deth'erve better than him, KK. No one deth'erveth' abuth'e, you leth' than anybody."

"I have better than him, in case you haven't noticed," I told him, smiling. "You, on the other hand, I hardly deserve."

"You're right," he agreed. "You deth'erve th'o much better than me, too." Uh, oh. I know that tone.

"Sollux," I warned.

"Better than th'ome twenty-one year old shitty coder with bipolar who should have th'tarted college three yearth' ago and couldn't becauth'e of it, becauth'e life dealt him a shitty hand and he now hath' to go through trying to cope with it."

"Sollux," I repeated, louder.

"Better than thith' th'kinny-ath' fuck who can't get a damn lith'p he'th' had th'inth'e birth under control no matter how much th'peech therapy he goeth' through, a shitty damn lith'p that he'th' been teath'ed for for juth't ath' long ath' he'th' been going to th'chool for."

"Sollux!"

"Better than a mutated freak with different colored eyeth' who can't do anything right no matter how fucking hard he trieth'. Better than a guy who'th' made every mith'take in hith' life by taking rith'kth' he can't hope will have any poth'ibility of panning out becauth'e he'th' the one taking them and thingth' never work out for himmphf—" The last word of his sentence was smothered by my lips crushing against his.

"Stop it," I begged quietly, my voice cracking under the weight of my unshed tears. "Stop it, please, Sollux, don't do this to yourself. I can't bear to hear it when you get like this. It just makes my heart feel like it's being stabbed and... shit, that was a really bad explanation, but you get the point. I can't take hearing you beat yourself up like that." I hated my weakness and I loathed the tears that fell from my eyes as I said this all to him, but I let them fall because I wanted him to know how much it hurt to see him like this. He hadn't gotten this bad in a while, but then again, he'd been taking his medication pretty steadily for a while, too. I think he'd missed them tonight.

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. I sniffled in spite of myself and he immediately looked at me. "Oh, shit, KK, I'm th'orry," he murmured hollowly, brushing away the tears on my cheek with one hand. I don't fucking believe it, I thought darkly, I've been driven to tears twice in the past month, and both times in front of Sollux. "Really, KK, I'm th'o th'orry, I wath'n't thinking and now... and now... shit. Now I've fucked up again."

I shook my head vigorously, bringing my hand up to rest it over his on my cheek. "No, Sollux, don't. You didn't, I just. I worry about you sometimes is all. A lot, actually. There were some nights back in high school when I'd go to bed not knowing if I'd see you the next day or not because you'd offed yourself over some petty bullshit your fucked-up mind turned into a huge deal. I never slept much those nights."

He looked at me, stunned. "I... didn't know that. Th'o I gueth' when I got pith'ed at you for th'taying up whenever you had teth'tth' or anything..."

"Yeah."

"God, I am th'uch a huge prick."

"Shh, no you're not. You didn't know."

"Yeth', don't argue."

"I'm gonna argue, fuckass. I'm gonna argue until you believe me," I murmured. The fireworks were dying down now.

"I do believe you, KK. I juth't dith'agree."

"Sollux..."

"Shh." With that, he pressed a kiss to my lips and held me closer. The grass was cool through the fabric of my shirt and scratchy through the same material. Sollux was warm and comfortable and his grip around me was gentle and just as warm as the rest of him. Every kiss he placed on me left the skin tingling from his heat. Scarcely minutes later, the fireworks show had ended.

I watched as Sollux stood up and looked around the bush. "There'th' nobody there. I gueth' Trevor'th' family left when they dith'covered hith' little th'ecret. That meanth' we're free to go, unleth'... you'd like to... go for a walk, or th'omething...?"

I nearly choked when I heard myself giggle. Hoping he wouldn't comment on it, I said, "That sounds nice."

He chuckled and threw an arm around my shoulders as we took off down the path. "Let'th' go, then. By the way, that wath' a cute little giggle, KK."

"Shut the fuck up, don't you ever bring that up again."

"You're th'o cute."

"Which part did you miss, the shut the fuck up or the never fucking bring this up again, you piece of shit?"

"That lath't part that you added now."

I shrugged at him, half snarling, half smirking at him. "I might have paraphrased a bit. Just a little," I added, holding up two fingers pinched together. He hugged me tighter and kissed the side of my head.

"Well, I gueth' I mith'ed both partth', th'o you'll juth't have to keep reminding me how cute you are." I said nothing as we walked past the trees. The lake shone as the moonlight hit it and Sollux's eyes gleamed at me. It gave him a very dark, mysterious look that I really lo— liked. That I really liked.

"You're really handsome, Sollux." Shit. Can that stop happening, please, you know, that thing where I get a big 'fuck you' from the universe in the form of my fucking mouth?

"You're really cute, KK," he returned.

"Gee, thanks, that makes me feel so good, knowing that I'm fucking adorable."

"Nah. I'd th'ay you're more bloodthirth'ty than adorable," he joked.

"Adorabloodthirsty?" I offered.

"Abth'o-fucking-lutely." As soon as we got to the edge of the lake, I sat down in the scant grass, watching as the water rippled softly at the muddy shore. Sollux took a seat beside me and I leaned my head on his shoulder, picking up pebbles from the path and tossing them towards the moon's reflection. He stopped me at one point and grabbed a rock of his own, counting to three and throwing it at the same time I threw mine. The gesture was sweet and extremely romantic and I just wanted to kiss the shit out of him. Rather than pinning him to the ground again now, I decided to wait at least until we got home. Then we'd get at the very least the privacy to do whatever we wanted, should it escalate far enough.

Eventually, Sollux slipped his hand into mine. It seemed like such an innocent gesture, so innocuous an action — such a little thing that did so fucking much. Oh, what's that, heart? You wanna go see what's at the bottom of the lake? Okay, but you have to beat out of my chest, first. Hey, hey, brain, you wanna sit down for a second and have one solid, normal thought? You can pick through the chaos until you find one you like, if you want. No? Okay, carry on, then. Hi, sweat glands, how you doing? You wanna relax for a little bit, keep all that sweat to yourself? Oh, I guess not. Have fun, then!

"Th'omething wrong, KK?" He looked at me curiously, squeezing my hand. I shook my head before resting on his shoulder again, hoping that if I hid my face in his shirt, he wouldn't see me blush in the moonlight.

"N-No, I wasn't really expecting that is all and I... um."

"You're th'uch a hopeleth' fucking romantic, you idiot." He kissed me softly to lighten the sting of his insult.

I muttered under my breath, "Prick."

He returned immediately, "Douche."

"Fuckass."

"Ath'wipe."

"Shitsponge."

"Bath'tard."

"Bitch."

"Dumbath'."

"Dick."

"Cockth'ucker."

"Not yet," I shot back with a sly wink. He didn't reply, and I grinned at him. "Pussy."

"Fuckfath'e," he grumbled, looking away.

"Once again, Sollux," I said, raising my hand to his cheek and turning his face towards me. Pressing our foreheads together, I finished, "Not yet." His face caught fire and he jerked away. I just laughed, rolling onto my back while he stood up.

"I think it'th' about time we got home, don't you?" he stated, speaking way too quickly for that to be his only reason.

"You're just afraid to see if I'll make good on those offers, aren't you?" He refused to look at me, so I hugged him from behind and stretched onto my tip-toes to whisper in his ear, "You know, we don't have to be at home for it. I'm perfectly okay with the lakesid—"

"No, no, abth'olutely not, a thouth'and timeth' no. It'th' not your cock people could walk out and th'ee." I trailed my fingers over the waistline of his jeans, pouting.

"Aww... I'm sure you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Besides, I think I could manage taking all of you—"

"KK!"

"—so it's not like they would see anything, anyway."

"Alright, shut up, we're going home, right now."

"What? Are you afraid you'll give in?" I taunted him.

He suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards one of the trees, slamming me back against it before leaning in close and whispering, "Yeth'." I didn't have anything to say to that, so I said nothing as he gave me one short, rough kiss before taking my hand and pulling me down the path after him. I still couldn't think of anything to say, so I let my mind wander and fantasize about his answer to my previous question. What if he hadn't pulled me away? What if he'd simply agreed? Where would we be now?

Hand-in-hand, we walked home silently through the darkness.

Review please~!