It was a month and half before Harley saw her honorary niece again, and this was thanks to Batman foiling one of the Joker's schemes and taking both him and Harley back to Arkham. The moment they broke out, Harley dragged Joker over to Ivy's to meet Rose.
"She's just the cutest little baby – you'll love her!" babbled Harley as she knocked on the door, with Joker looking less than thrilled next to her. "She's so small and adorable, and she's got the prettiest eyes and the cutest, chubbiest, little green face…"
The door was opened by what appeared to be a very attractive teenage girl, with large, brown eyes and long, red hair framing a stunningly beautiful face with green skin. "Hi. May I help you?" she asked.
Harley stared at her open-mouthed. So did the Joker. "That ain't no baby, Harley," he murmured.
"R…Rose?" stammered Harley. "Is that you?"
"I'm Rose Ivy, yes," replied the girl. "Do I know you?"
"Uh…we met…once when you were…little," stammered Harley. "It's…Auntie Harley. And this is Uncle Joker!" she said, gesturing at him.
"How ya doing, beautiful?" asked Joker, putting on his most charming smile as he made sure his hair was slicked back. "Where's a gorgeous gal like you been all my life?"
"I suspect I wasn't alive for most of it," said Rose.
"Don't flirt with her, Mr. J!" snapped Harley, elbowing him hard in the ribs. "That's wrong on so many levels!"
"Rose? Who is it?" called Ivy from inside.
"Someone called Auntie Harley and Uncle Joker, Mother!" called back Rose.
"Oh, they're fine – let them in," said Ivy, coming over to the door. "Harley, where have you been? You missed most of Rose's childhood!"
"Yeah…well…I didn't realize…she'd grow up so fast," stammered Harley, staring at her in disbelief.
"I owe you an apology, Harl," chuckled Joker. "I wasn't looking forward to seeing some stupid baby, but this is the kinda eye candy Uncle Joker likes," he said, smiling at Rose and licking his lips.
"Don't think about my daughter like that, you perverted creep!" growled Ivy.
"Yeah, don't think about her daughter like that!" snapped Harley, furiously, slapping him across the face.
"Not that Rose would ever have anything to do with anyone like you," continued Ivy. "I've taught her that men, in particular clown-faced freaks, don't know how to treat a lady."
"Well, I sure know how to win a lady!" chuckled Joker. "Drop your pants at the first interview! Worked with Harley!"
"Keep your pants on!" snapped Ivy. "There are some things I never want my daughter to see!"
"Hey, you can't preserve innocence forever," said Joker, shrugging. "And Daddy J likes 'em young. How old are ya, sweetheart?" he asked Rose. "Are you legal?"
"I've been alive for a month and a half," replied Rose.
"…nope. That ain't legal," said Joker, slowly. "And Daddy J doesn't like 'em that young. That's the Hat guy."
"Red, I don't understand!" said Harley, giving Joker a swift kick to the groin that made him gasp in pain. "How come she's grown up so fast?"
"It's the plant cells," said Ivy, stroking Rose's hair gently. "They make her mature at a much faster rate than normal human beings. Which is good for me, actually – babies aren't very interesting. But now Rose is old enough to be real company. She's a wonderful companion – smart and sweet and beautiful, aren't you, my pretty flower?" she cooed.
"Yes, Mother," agreed Rose. "And you are very kind to me, to teach me everything you know."
"I'm just teaching you how to be happy, petal," murmured Ivy. "I want you to be as happy as possible for as long as you can."
"Then will I get to meet other people, Mother?" she asked.
"Yes, flower, see?" said Ivy, gesturing at Joker and Harley. "These are people."
Rose looked at them skeptically. "These aren't…normal people, are they, Mother?"
"Normal for Gotham," replied Ivy, shrugging.
"And when will I be able to go outside and see Gotham?" asked Rose.
Ivy patted her head. "When you're a little older, petal. It's a big, scary place, and you're such a delicate, fragile little flower. You need to be protected."
"Yes, Mother," agreed Rose, slightly forlornly.
"Now why don't you go back to the kitchen and fetch our guests some drinks?" asked Ivy. "And some of those lovely fruit tarts you baked?"
"Wow, never thought I'd hear the statement 'go back to the kitchen,' outta the mouth of a dame like you, Pammie!" chuckled Joker as Rose left them. "Ain't keeping her chained up at home pretty un-feminist of you?"
"There's nothing un-feminist about learning life skills like cooking," snapped Ivy. "Harley might consider that."
"I can cook just fine!" snapped Harley.
"No, you really can't," retorted Joker. "Course if cooking is now feminist, I guess I don't really want you to learn, Harley. Once you start down that road, next thing you know it's castration for all men and grow-your-own-babies."
"Which, coincidentally, is what awaits you if you keep flirting with my daughter," said Ivy. "Believe me, I can teach Harley how to grow children."
"But you still needed a sperm donor, right, Red?" asked Harley. "I'd need Mr. J around just for that if nothing else. Though if he keeps being flirty with Rose, I might just collect his material, like you did for your guy, and then kill him."
"You…collected material?" asked Joker, looking at Ivy in disgust. "You mean after the guy…y'know…you saved it? Like in a jar?"
"I'm not giving you details about how I conceived my daughter!" snapped Ivy.
"Please don't," agreed Joker. "Jesus, I knew you were a sick dame, but I didn't know you were that sick! So who's the unlucky guy who's now stuck with a kid he didn't even have the pleasure of creating?"
"Nobody – it doesn't matter," snapped Ivy. "He wasn't actively involved in her creation, so there's no reason why he should be actively involved in her life. He doesn't even know she exists, and I'd like to keep it that way. Anyway, Rose won't even be around long enough for him to bother with her, so I don't see any reason why either of them should get attached."
"Why not?" asked Harley, confused. "Where's she going?"
Ivy sighed. "She's maturing very quickly, Harley, thanks to the plant cells. And like all flowers, she's going to bloom for a precious, brief time, and be the picture of beauty. And then she's going to…die."
Harley gaped at her. "Die?" she repeated. "When?"
"A little less than a year," said Ivy. "It's the circle of life. Most flowers die annually – that's how Mother Nature works. It's not a big deal, unless they're destroyed by violence. That's a crime. That's when I get angry – when my babies are slaughtered in their prime. But nothing like that is going to happen to Rose. I'm going to see that she has a beautiful, perfect life, however short it's going to be."
"But…but she ain't a flower, Red!" cried Harley. "She's a person! She's more…complex than a plant! She's got thoughts and feelings…"
"So do flowers," retorted Ivy. "But you don't seem to care about those when you pick them. There's no reason to get upset about Rose's life cycle – that's just nature's way. Although I admit it's always hard watching a rose wither, and it's going to be even harder this time…"
"She ain't a flower!" repeated Harley. "And there's nothing natural about her! You created her, and now you're just gonna let her die when the time comes?! I thought you loved her, Red!"
"I do, Harley," replied Ivy, quietly. "I love her too much to lie to her. Or to let her live for very long in a dark, cruel world of suffering."
"Mother is kind," said a voice from the doorway. "She has allowed me to learn all that is beautiful about the world, and soon she will let me experience all that is beautiful about the world. And she has made it so I leave the world before it destroys me. That's what happens to all flowers, isn't it, Mother?" asked Rose, setting down the tray and approaching her. "Their beauty decays, and then they die. Mother is going to save me from that, aren't you, Mother?"
"That's right, petal," whispered Ivy, kissing her forehead. "You will die in beauty. Your wilting will be short and painless, and then you will return to the warm earth in peace."
"But…but she's wrong, Rose!" cried Harley, "The world is a beautiful place, full of fun and joy and laughter! Yeah, maybe not all the time, but you gotta have the bad to appreciate the good! And look at me and Mr. J! Even in a dark world, you can still smile and be happy! There's no reason to just give up and die! You gotta fight!"
Rose studied her strangely. "I would not want to fight against my mother," she replied. "I love her. And she loves me, to protect me as she does. To protect me from all that is selfish and cruel and ugly about humanity…"
"Well, I did my best until J showed up," agreed Ivy.
Joker smiled at her, but said nothing. "Well, good luck to ya, kid," he said, holding out his hand to Rose. "You enjoy your life while it lasts."
Ivy intercepted Rose's hand, checking for Joker's joy buzzer. But his palm was empty as he held it out to her. Ivy nodded slowly, and Rose took Joker's hand. He shook it, and then raised it up to her face, so that half of it was covered. Then he laughed, dropping it.
"C'mon, Harl," he said, heading for the door. "We've got places to go and people to slay."
Harley nodded. "I'll be back before too long, Rose," she said, hugging her. "I wanna spend as much time with you as possible before…"
She trailed off, tears in her eyes, as she followed Joker out of Ivy's house. Harley glanced back once at Rose tenderly before she shut the door.
"It ain't fair, Mr. J!" Harley sobbed. "That poor kid! Nobody deserves to die that young! I can't imagine what she must be feeling, to know that she's gonna die within a year!"
"Hey, everyone dies," said Joker, shrugging. "Or so they tell me!" he chuckled. "No signs of it ever happening in my case, thanks to my fans in the reading public. The writers wouldn't dare kill me off for good – there'd be a riot!"
"What?" asked Harley, puzzled.
"Nothing, pooh," he said, patting her head. "Now dry those eyes – you know Daddy J likes his smiles! And I've got just the thing to cheer you up."
"What is it?" asked Harley, wiping her eyes.
"We're gonna go see Rose's father," said Joker, smiling to himself. "And tell him he's got a daughter."