Author's Note: Wow, okay, it's been a while (overtwomonthsI'msosorryandembarrassedohmygod). For that I apologize. A lot of things have been happening, mostly school related, but I didn't write at all some weekends because, long story short, me and my wonderful boyfriend just had our one-year anniversary, which doesn't sound like much, except that it is because I'm so broken and he doesn't care and we're 3000+ miles away, me in CA, him in RI (which I believe I may have mentioned before?). Also I was supposed to go to my parents' house twice in two consecutive weekends, which was at most a nice opportunity to pick up the last of my shit from there. Mostly school, though. The ever-present grades debacle, you know the drill. It's so much worse with my grandparents as far as their constant questions and actual interest in my life, which sounds kind of sick as far as my familial relationships, but that's to be expected. Anyway.
HOLY DAMN SOMEBODY DREW ME FANART WITHOUT BEING FORCED TO. GO SEND KUROSAKE ALL OF YOUR LOVE. For whatever reason, I can't get it to show up on the tag, at least not for me, so check it anyway (tumblr*com/tagged/solkat+broken+thoughts+art) and if that doesn't work, use this: kurosake01*tumblr*com/tagged/solkat%28broken-thoug hts%29art (it's not the really giant one at top, you have to scroll down to see it). Also I got like the best review I've gotten yet on the last chapter?/? /? So huge shout-out to BleuFlyinKittensTimesInfinty for being amazing and wow. *blush*
Lastly, I just want to (again again) apologize for the lateness of this chapter, just school and friend issues and other cool things like I'm teaching myself HTML and *insert other lame-ass excuse here* and, all in all, I'm sorry. I want to write, I feel like I've sat here forever trying to think of something to write and just not being able to, so basically, fuck writer's block, fuck school, fuck homework, fuck guitar, fuck coding, fuck the vast majority of my friends (or I'd like to, anyway *wonk*), and fuck fucking everything. I'm so sick of shit. Mostly myself. But you know. Anyway, this is about the span you should be expecting between chapters during the school year. This one was a bit exaggerated, but not entirely unrealistic.
I need to stop starting and ending chapters with Karkat waking up and falling asleep, respectively. It can only happen so many times before I can't come up with unique instances anymore.
Chapter Seventeen already, oh my god that seems like a lot. Read on, friends.
The smoke alarm blared through the house, causing me to jerk awake and leap out of bed. Sollux was, obviously, no longer lying beside me, so I imagined only he could be the reason it went off. Hurrying out of the bedroom, I looked in the kitchen to find my assumption proved correct: a flustered Sollux was ferociously beating the air around the alarm with a dish towel whilst simultaneously attempting to do... something with the stove.
"Sollux!" I yelled over the rapid beeps. He turned to me, relief lightening his expression. "What the fuck is going on here?"
"I'll ekth'plain in a th'ec, firth't, come do thith'!" he yelled back, nodding at the towel in his hand. I stared up at alarm mounted on the ceiling. I can't reach the cabinet above the fridge. What in the sweet almighty taintchaffing fuck makes you think I can reach the fire alarm? I thought, giving him a withering glare. He seemed to realize his mistake after I didn't react to move, and the hint of a smirk graced his lips as he amended, "Take the cookie sheet out of the oven, then!" Now that's something I can do. I grabbed an oven mitt off the counter and boldly reached into the smoke-clouded oven, feeling for something remotely sheet-like through the thick fabric. Coincidentally, the instant I pulled it out, the smoke alarm stopped and Sollux let out a heavy sigh, dropping his arms and tossing the rag where the mitt had previously lain.
"Thankth', KK," he said, grinning. To anyone else, the smile looked heartfelt. To me, it looked incontestably hollow.
I glanced at the charred lumps on the cookie sheet with a raised eyebrow and asked, "Were they cookies?"
He chuckled. "Uh, yeah, 'were' ith' a good word for them."
My brow crinkled into a much more uneasy frown. "You burnt them." His smile widened but his eyes narrowed.
"Yeah, th'o?" he asked, his voice higher than it should have been.
"You don't burn things. You never burn things." His smile held out for a couple more seconds before he dropped it with a sigh and slouched against the counter.
"Yeah. I know," he muttered. I stepped forward and leaned back beside him.
"You okay?"
"I'm okay."
"You don't look okay."
"Karkat, I'm fine."
A smile tugged at my lips. "I know you say you're fine, but I know you, Sollux, well enough to know that you may say you're fine even when you are the exact fucking opposite of fine." He laughed softly and looked at me. I, in turn, looked up and met his gaze.
"You're th'uch a dork."
"Not as much as you."
"I love you." Now I really broke into a grin.
"And what if I," I began, only slightly stepping forward as I turned so I could more easily lock my arms around his neck, "said that I love you, too?"
A genuine smile lit up his expression. "You would make me a very happy dork."
"Consider yourself a happy dork, then," I replied, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
"Th'orry for the rude awakening," he murmured, holding me tight against him. It suddenly felt like I was the only thing anchoring him to any semblance of normal, and for him to let go would send us both spiraling into oblivion. "I kind of forgot about them."
"What, the cookies, you mean?"
"Ekth'-cookieth', but yeah. Charcoal now."
"It's probably good that I woke up anyway. Now I can enjoy these delicious cookies you made." The look he gave me was pure disbelief. He continued to stare until I slapped his chest lightly and added, "I'm joking, idiot."
"Oh. Oh, of courth'e." I knew he was blushing in embarrassment before I even looked up.
"Let's go sit on the couch. I'm too fucking tired to be standing."
"You juth't th'lept for three hourth', bullshit you're tired." I turned around and grabbed his wrists, dragging him slowly after me as I made my way to the living room.
"Tired as in drowsy, dumbfuck. Don't question me."
"I'll question you all I want, KK, don't tell me what to do," he replied, a teasing smile evident in his voice. I responded by shoving him back on the couch and falling heavily onto him, eliciting a surprised "oof" from my new couch cushion. "Ugh, fine, I won't question you if you're gonna keep falling on me."
"One of two ways I know to shut you up quick," I told him smugly, snuggling against his chest as he wrapped his arm around me again.
"Oh? And what'th' the other one?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" He sneered and I stretched up and kissed him. "I'll find a third if you don't shut your lispy fucking face and snuggle with me, dammit."
He kissed me back and let slip the tiniest of smiles. "Then why don't you get off me and I'll get uth' a blanket? You can pick a movie to watch, if you'd like." I indulged him and scooted onto the couch, silently mourning the loss of heat as he stood.
"What time is it?"
"Quarter after th'even." Given Sollux's lack of having specified a genre and my opportunistic advantage over the time before ridiculous o'clock, I had Titanic in the DVD player before he even got back. "Oh, you've gotta be shitting me," he groaned, noting the title screen as he tossed the blanket on the couch.
"Your first mistake," I stated, grinning with triumph, "was not telling me I couldn't." Together we spread out the comforter and then I was back in his arms, nuzzling my face against him as the movie played. By the end of it, we were both in tears, which surprised me because Sollux had never cried at this movie in the past, all those times I'd forced him to watch it with me. I felt Kanaya had something to do with it. That wouldn't have surprised me in the slightest. I turned off the TV and just sat with him in silence for some immeasurable amount of time. He yawned and I found my window for conversation.
Before I could say anything, however, he spoke up. "It'th' getting late. We should get to bed." In all honestly, I wasn't particularly all that tired myself, most likely due to my nap, but Sollux was tired and I didn't want to be anywhere but by his side right then, so I nodded and started to get up. He held me back and wrapped the blanket tighter around us, essentially pinning me between the cushions and himself. "Nah-uh. I am way too fucking lazy to bother with moving right now. Th'tay here."
I strained against his grip, grumbling, "It's not like I have much fucking choice in the matter."
"Ekth'actly." Giving up, I growled to myself and stopped struggling. He pressed a kiss to my forehead as pay back for my surrender. "Good boy."
I glared at him. "You wanna fucking try that again?" His infuriating smirk met my words and he kissed me again.
"Maybe."
"Ha-fuckity-fucking-ha." He just rolled his eyes and finally relaxed against me. We lay together for a while more, the gentle whirring of the still-on PS2 filling the silence and our soft breaths warming the air. "I had a dream earlier," I murmured, locking my arms around him.
"Oh?"
"Yeah." I was about to tell him about my nightmare with Kanaya and Trevor when a strange sensation of foreboding came over me. I can't tell him. Not that, I thought with eerie certainty. Not right now, anyway. Not yet. That option gone, my other dream came to mind; more of a memory than a dream, in any case. "Remember when we met for the first time?"
"Yeah," he replied, a perverse smile forming. "You didn't curth'e at all before I met you. Then we th'poke and I think I broke you."
"Oh, ha-ha, that's cute, no. Shut the fuck up, that's not what I was talking about."
"Th'ay 'frick.'"
"No."
"Th'ay 'shut the frick up.'"
"Fucking no!"
"Do it."
"God fucking dammit, Sollux, I will not say it, you're such a prick-ass little bitch, I do not need to deal with this shit."
"Yeth', you do. Th'ay it."
"Sollux!" I snapped. "Stop trying to get me to say it, I'm not going to say it, so fuck o—"
"KK, juth't do—"
"Gah, shut the frick up, you butthead!" As soon as I said it, I slapped my hand over my mouth and turned florid, at the height of embarrassment. "Shoot, I did not mean to say that, gosh darnit — I-I mean, no, fuck, goddammit, god, fuck, jesus, dick!" After my bout of censorship, Sollux erupted into laughter. "God, you complete fucking cockwhore, that was not funny, shut up, it's not my fucking fault, I fucking stopped, didn't I, stop fucking running your stupid fucking shitty goddamn mouth and fucking laughing at me, you bitch-ass fucking asshole-biting dipfuck!"
He ignored me and rolled onto his back, holding his stomach as he shook with giggle after nasally giggle. I took this golden opportunity to shove him off the couch. He was still convulsing with laughter when I stood up and walked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I was half-tempted to lock it, but quickly decided against it in consideration of recent events involving locked doors. Aside from that, the ever common "fuck everything" life motto came to mind, a moral I embraced with open arms, and, as such, I embraced the ladder to the top bunk the exact same way, pausing only to switch off the light.
My asshole of a boyfriend walked in just as I was settling into my bed, intentionally facing the wall. The door closed softly behind him and he didn't move for a few seconds. "KK?"
"The fuck do you want?" I growled. He walked around and peeked through the railing of the bed.
"You're not angry with me, are you?" He sounded like a beaten dog, hopeful and sorry. Rolling over, I looked at what I could see of him through the wooden slats, all multicolored eyes reflecting bits of light in the darkness and eyebrows quirked in an overly optimistic expression.
"Maybe I am, dipshit," I muttered, sounding far more angry than I was.
"KK, don't be mad at me. Pleath'e. I wath' juth't poking a bit of fun at you, I didn't mean it. Pleath'e don't be angry at me, pleath'e, KK, I didn't mean to." His voice had risen to a bitter high as he begged.
I turned to glare at him for a minute before turning back to the wall. "I'm not mad at you, idiot," I sighed, giving into the smile on my lips. "Of course I'm not. How could I be mad at you?" He sank with relief and without hesitation jumped up and over the rail, using his own mattress for leverage, and under the covers with me. "Comfy, shitface?" I asked irritably, feeling his arm press against my back. "Because my face is getting to know this wall pretty damn well."
He chuckled and scooted a bit more towards the railing, allowing me room to roll onto my back. "Better, KK?"
"Much." He grabbed my jaw and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.
"I'm th'orry for teath'ing you."
"Shut up, Sollux."
"But—"
"Nope."
"KK—"
"Shh."
"Fine," he grumbled.
I grinned at him and rolled practically on top of him. "See? Was that so hard, douchedick?" Rather than a verbal response, he jammed his thumbs into either side of my stomach and locked his arms around me, crushing me against him when I tried to get away.
"I love you." I stopped struggling at his words and instead looked at him, meeting our eyes. A tiny flutter rose in my stomach and I kissed him just as softly as he'd done me.
"I love you too. Now let's go to sleep before we embarrass ourselves any more than we've done already."
"I haven't embarrath'ed myth'elf, idiot."
"There's a cookie sheet with various lumps of charcoal scattered over the top of it on the counter right now. You were saying?" I added smugly.
He groaned quietly and shoved me off and onto the empty mattress beside him."Good night."
I responded with a soft smile and my arms wrapped around his waist. "Night, dumbass."
Review? Sorry it's so short T-T I'm bad at shit during school. I promise the next one will be better, I swear it.