I think we're like fire and water
I think we're like the wind and sea
You're burning up, I'm cooling down
You're up, I'm down
You're blind, I see
But I'm free
I'm free
30 weeks and 2 days pregnant
Saturday March 26th
I feel pretty good considering two days ago I got into a car crash. Damon is in his 'post car crash hovering protective mode' scared something bad will happen. He went as far as saying I am a 'danger magnet'. To say he is mad is an understatement. Once the initial shock passed he went into rant mode, cursing me for venturing on my own without telling anyone and almost taking me away from him. It really brought a vulnerable side out to Damon so instead of fighting him I just nodded and wrapped him in my arms.
Telling my dad was another story. I don't even want to get into. He took my car privileges away, which Damon was pretty happy about. But at the same time he understood it wasn't my fault and agreed with Damon to get a high notch lawyer for my case which is in six weeks.
I am about to roll over and go back asleep when my bedroom door opens revealing my boyfriend. He always arrives early in the morning on weekends to lay with me. And considering the past week and how we don't get to spend a lot of time together I am pretty happy to see him.
"Hey." I croak with sleep still laced in my voice.
"Mhmm. Hey." He smirks stripping down to his boxers before climbing in bed and wrapping his arms around me.
"What time is it?" I yawn.
"Just after nine." He moves his hand from my back to my belly. His morning ritual. He rubs around for a few seconds before she kicks in response. I roll my eyes at these two; I swear she will like Damon more than me. He gleams wickedly at me before he kisses where she kicked and leans up and kisses me.
"I don't know how you get her to do that." I pout. "Sometimes when I am bored I try to wake her and I get nothing."
"It's a….Father's touch." He smiles.
I scoot myself closer to him and nuzzle deep into his chest. I feel his stubble on my cheek, our legs tangled beneath the sheets and the warmth from his chest spreading through me like wildfire. This is my heaven.
"I've missed you." I pout, my hand reaching to his boxers and cupping him.
He hisses, not expecting the contact. "You are not up to it." He tries to sound strong but I can feel his resolve crumbling.
"Correction, I wasn't up for it but I am fine now, Damon. I haven't had those pains in days and even then they are hardly nothing…please!" I look up at him and pout.
He laughs. "Trust me, babe. You don't need to beg me for sex. I just don't want to do anything you aren't up to. I know you want to but…."
"Damon, do you really think I would put Cara at risk for sex?" I chuckle.
"No but…"
"Whatever Damon…I get it…I am a whale…I'll just…-" I try to get up and leave the bed where I feel humiliation all around me, probably the stupid hormones again. They always make me super insecure. But before I even take a step Damon grabs my hand and pulls my back to his chest.
"Don't-" He growls. "-ever say I don't want you. I always want you. I am just watching out for you and being cautious …you know that."
I nod. "I do…sorry." I mumble, hiding my face.
Thinking we will just lay here and cuddle I close my eyes and relax into him but before I know it I feel his hand on my thigh, working its way up. I suck in a deep breath, trying to keep cool but I am super sensitive to touches right now. His hand finally reaches my underwear but swiftly moves them aside like nothing and starts petting me.
"Damon." I growl. "Now is not the time to tease or take it slow."
He moans into my shoulder. "But it is so much fun." He drags out the last word like the cocky bastard that he is.
I have had enough.
He wants to play with me? Fine, I will play with him.
While he's still petting me and flicking me, I reach my hand through the sheets and grip him so hard over his boxers which makes him drops his hand from me and elicits a growl. I gleam wickedly proud of myself but I underestimated him.
He grips by hand pulling it away from him and pushes me on my back in one swift move. I gasp at how fast he is but before I can say anything he crushes his lips to me groaning as if I am causing him pain. I smile through the kiss and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him so tight against my mouth it hurts.
Damon is now breathless which makes me feel good that I can emit that reaction from him. I smirk and pull down his boxers from his hips and be obliges, even helping me. Now that my boyfriend is naked and above me I can safely say I am pretty happy right now except it is kind of unequal.
I think Damon thinks the same thing because he quickly throws my shirt over my head and somewhere in my room before he scoots down and takes my underwear by his teeth and drags them painfully down my legs that are now filled with Goosebumps.
When he finally gets them off my legs, he looks up at me with a wicked gleam that I know is a sign of trouble but also a sign of pure lust and love. God I love this man. Damon has played with my enough and he knows that so he settles above me peppering my neck with kisses before he thrusts into me with one swift movement, leaving my mouth gaping open.
Sex with pregnancy is so different. You feel everything, every little touch. You become super sensitive to everything which heightens the experience. Plus we don't have to use any type of contraceptive because I am already pregnant and Damon told me one day he was tested and safe. He didn't want to give me anything. So really we are in a good place with our sex life, the only downside is the huge bump in between us that restricts a lot of positions.
Damon grunts while moving in and out of me while still peppering any skin of mine he can get near. God he makes sex way more than just lust and pleasure. He takes it above and beyond and makes you feel so loved and worth it. I use to sleep around for a bit but even then I had a hard time trusting a guy in that position, afraid I wouldn't be good or my body wasn't good but with Damon I have never had those thoughts. Even with me gaining a ton of weight. I trust this man with my life. With our daughter. So being close to him like this is so much more.
Damon speeds up his thrusting a few moments later letting me know he is close. When he is going to spill I feel myself meet with him as we go over the top together. We both gape at each other as we fill out our climax before he rests his sweaty head in my shoulder panting.
"Do you…feel alright?" Damon asks but is still breathing pretty heavily.
"More than alright. That was incredible." I let out a breathless laugh.
He chuckles before pulling out of me and plopping on the bed next to me. We both lay beside one another while our breathing pans out. I love these small moments where we don't need words or touches we are always comfortable around each other.
I let out a small laugh before placing a hand on my stomach. "Is it weird, we woke Cara up from that?"
"Oh god that would suck if babies could remember things that happen while they are in the womb." Damon laughs.
I smile, reaching over and grabbing his hand before placing it where Cara is moving. I wait for his reaction then Cara kicks again and Damon's eyes pop open. It doesn't matter how many times he's felt her or witnessed it, he is still shocked by it. He then smiles before placing a kiss in the exact spot she is kicking. "It's alright…shhh…I made mommy happy." He smirks at me. "Very happy. But don't mind us."
"Damon!" I smack his head away from my belly. "Don't say things like that to her." I scold him like a wife.
He is about to respond with some witty comment but something stops him. "Elena! You and Damon awake?" My dad's voice sounds through the door.
We both freeze and tense up. "Yeah?" My voice cracks.
"I am about to head to work but I'm making breakfast downstairs! Come down!" He shouts before I hear his footsteps retreating.
Simultaneously both Damon and I let out a deep breath before laughing. "That was close." I gasp out between laughs.
"I'd say so…if he'd opened that door he would have walked in on my stark naked form on top of your bed with my dick still-"
"Oh god." I cover my mouth to quiet my laugh. "That would have been hilarious."
"For you." He grumbles.
I smirk but get up looking through my closet for a decent pair of clothing. I do have a big maternity clothes section now, yes. But I hate wearing them and the past few weeks I could get away with some of my looser shirts still but now I need to admit defeat. I sigh grabbing a loose white shirt and one of my maternity black pants and put those on, trying to ignore Damon's creeping eyes watching me.
Once we are both dressed we begrudgingly make our way downstairs to my dad. We walk into the kitchen and for once, I see Jeremy before he is gone. He smiles at me while eating a piece of toast before turning back to his meal. I shake my head at how weird this is but take a plate from my dad he made for me and sit on the barstool next to my brother and soon after Damon sits on my other side.
"So…kids…" My dad turns around after turning all the cooking appliances off. All of us share a knowing look at how my dad just called us kids when me and Damon are about to be parents and Jeremy just got out of rehab. "What are all your plans for today?" He asks us curiously while munching on a piece of toast.
I shrug my shoulders. "Not much I can do so…"
"I'm just going to hang out here…" Jeremy says before he shoves more hash browns into his mouth.
We all raise our eyebrows at his reply but quickly shake our heads and move on. Maybe my brother is finally turning his life around. I know he still smokes cigarettes despite my dad lecturing him like a doctor and telling him the risks and consequences but I always wondered since he got out of rehab if he has done the drugs again….
"Well…okay Jer…sounds fine with me." My dad smiles genuinely before turning to me. "Elena, you have been stuck in the house all week. You sure there is nothing you want to do?" My dad questions.
"Maybe I will go over to Damon's house." I shrug again.
"Do you need any more baby things? Did you buy them all?"
Me and Damon smirk at each other before chuckling. "Oh yeah, we are good."
Jeremy joins in. "Yeah dad have you seen my old bedroom? The kid has more clothes than me." Jeremy laughs.
I nod. "That is true. But she also will be spitting up and pooping in her clothes. Plus we bought clothes for the first few months so we are good while she grows a little bit." I sigh.
"Look at you all prepared." My dad smiles proudly.
"I try." I nervously laugh.
"Any more of those birthing classes?" My dad asks while getting his things together in his work bag.
"Yeah, two more." I nod. "The next one is actually tomorrow I think…" I look up to the ceiling while I try to remember what day it is before nodding. "Yeah, it is tomorrow."
"How are you liking those?"
"Well they are informative I will give them that…" I grumble before shoving a spoonful of eggs into my mouth.
Damon laughs. "She doesn't like hearing about the birth and how painful it will be. Last time they showed an actual birthing video….Tore Elena up pretty good."
Grayson laughs. "Yeah...it's not pretty. But worth it." He smiles. "When your mom was in labor with you she was almost two weeks over her due date and huge….She bragged all the time how she wanted nothing more than to get you out and how she was looking forward to the birth…" He shakes his head. "Boy was she wrong. Jeremy's labor went through so easily so she figured you would be too but you were slow coming down and putting a lot of pressure on her…It was nasty…She had to get quite a few stitches. While she was holding you she looked up at me and said 'This is the last baby you are ever getting from me' and she was right." My dad laughs again.
I smile sadly talking about my mom. There was a time I couldn't even think or hear her name but now I just think back to the happy times and how she is in a good place now. And we are working on it here.
"Oh dad….With everything going on…We forgot to tell you something…" I bite my lip and look to Damon. He is confused for a moment, not knowing what I am talking about but I raise my eyebrows waiting for him to get it before he finally does, a smirk appearing on his beautiful face.
"Oh for heaven's sake!" My dad throws his hands up. "What could it possibly be now, you're pregnant for crying out loud!" My dad jokes.
Damon rolls his eyes. "See! Always the reaction…" He shakes his head annoyingly.
I look to Damon for him to tell them since I told his family. He nods before turning to them. "We decided to name her Cara." He smiles.
Both Jeremy and my dad widen their eyes not expecting that before both of their faces have huge grins.
"About time!" Jeremy laughs and pulls me into a tight side hug.
"Wow. That is…an amazing name." My dad breathes out. "I love it, Elena." My dad smiles and I can tell he is about to tear up.
I get up off my barstool, Damon makes sure I am steady before I walk to my dad and wrap my arms around him. "Thanks." I sniffle.
He sighs and rubs my back. "Love ya, cupcake."
He kisses my forehead before grabbing his bag and sighing. "Well I am off to work. Try and get out Elena because once…Cara comes you won't have hardly any time." He smiles before trying to kiss Jeremy on the head but of course Jeremy struggles. My dad laughs before waving to us and closing the door.
After I wash my dishes and put them in the dishwasher I lean against the counter and look at my boyfriend. "So…what do you want to do today?"
"I don't care…" He shrugs.
I sigh. "I do want to go to the mall. I mean we are good on Cara's things but….I need more clothes the bigger I get." I pout.
"Then let's go." He smiles, leaning in to kiss me.
"I swear to god Damon if you kiss my sister in front of me again, I'll put your foot in your ass." Jeremy warns.
Damon backs away from me holding his hands up in surrender.
I stifle a laugh because we all know Jeremy would do it.
I walk by down to go upstairs and get ready but he slaps my ass playfully and I turn around with a wicked gleam in my eye. Both of us still riled up from what happened 30 minutes ago.
"I swear to god Damon…" My brother trails off.
"Okay!"
"I miss coming here with Caroline and Bonnie and shopping for dresses for parties to impress boys." Elena sighs.
"Well that's okay because the only guy you should impress is me." He winks.
I scoff. " Of course that is the only thing you take from that."
"Well you are mine and I won't share." He growls playfully.
I giggle trying to turn away from his teeth coming toward my skin. People start giving us looks and that's when I cough and push him away.
"We are in a mall Damon. No public display." I warn which earns a big pout from Damon.
"Come on big boy…" I grab him by the belt loop and steering him more into the mall. "We will do those...things when we get home."
He groans but I send him a glare which quickly straightens him out. I smile proudly as we head through the mall toward the maternity store. I have only been here a few times but those few times I bought a lot of clothes and I thought I wouldn't be back here. I thought I could fit into those clothes until I reach term but Cara had other ideas…like growing bigger than the average baby.
We arrive to the maternity store and I have to go to the back of the store which has the bigger clothing for people closer to term. The sales attendant helps me out with different styles that will look good with and around my bump. Damon was actually supportive and showed me some clothes he thought would look incredible on me and I blushed but tried them on for him. Some of the things he had me try on I would never pick out but he is right, once I put it on, I loved them. I told Damon I am bringing him shopping with me more often which earned a painful expression.
Two hours later we are ringing up my items. I got things ranging from loose fitting dresses to elastic pants. I feel really proud and good about the things I got instead of feeling fat and never fitting into my clothes. I actually fit into these which makes you feel good.
I had to argue with Damon to let me use my credit card which he reluctantly agrees because I brought up the fact that he bought almost all of Cara's things.
We both let out a big huff leaving the store with multiple bags in our hands. That was tiring but also needed. "Thanks for coming with me!" I grin sweetly at him and kiss his cheek because I am a kiss ass.
"Yeah yeah." He waves his hand in the air like it's nothing but I see the big grin across his face.
We are walking through the mall heading towards the food court when my heart drops at what I see coming towards me.
Katherine.
Damon immediately freezes and steps a little in front of me. "What do you want?" He fires off once she is in front of us.
"Hmmm." She looks to me. "You have your bitch here I see. Tell me Damon do you ever go anywhere without her?"
"Katherine I swear to god shut the fuck-"
I put my hand on Damon's arm to calm him down. "She isn't worth it Damon. Come on let's just go." I say with exhaustion leaving my voice.
"So let me get this straight…because you see…I am a little confused. When your child comes, who is living with whom? Sounds to me like you won't get to see your kid Damon. Yeah she will let you over at first but over time….How often will you really see your child?" Katherine gleams wickedly.
"Shut up Katherine." I growl.
"I have a point and you both know it." She says pointedly. "To be a parent you are with your child every day. You two are teenagers." She scoffs. "Do you really believe you can be successful parents across town?" She raises her eyebrow.
I am about to reply before I look over at Damon who is white as a sheet. His eyes are glazed over, fists are clenched and he honestly looks terrified.
"Move along Katherine." I pull Damon's frozen arm with me and going out to the parking lot.
When we reach outdoors Damon is still frozen and not saying anything and I get worried for a second that she got to him. She hit a pretty sensitive subject.
"Want to go home?" I look up at him once we reach his car.
He shrugs putting the bags in his trunk and sliding into the driver's seat. I sigh getting into the passenger side and we are on our way to my house. The ride is uncomfortable because of the huge elephant, in this small car, that obviously got to and silenced Damon. I know he needs space and time to think right now though so I won't push him…yet.
We arrive to my house and bring the bags up to my room setting them outside my closet but there is an awkward moment when Damon doesn't know whether to leave or to stay.
"Damon…" I say for the first time in a while.
"No." He shakes his head furiously, turning around.
"Look if what she said got to you-" But I am instantly cut off.
"Got to me?! No Elena! She spelled out the truth and wrote it on our faces! She is right and we all know it!" He growls pacing my small room.
"Look we can figure something out okay?" I try to reason with him because honestly I just need him calm right now.
"What Elena?! Please enlighten me!" He shouts and I flinch.
"Look…maybe you can stay here for-"
"Elena there is barely enough room for the three of you here let alone Cara and me! This won't work. None of it will!" He swears and paces.
"It will! It can!" I join in on the yelling. "It has to!"
"Yeah okay maybe at first it will but what about after two years? Huh? What about those days you are so tired from school and have homework? What am I supposed to do just see her during the evening hours? Hell why don't we just fucking call it visiting hours?! I am her dad, Elena! So I want to be one!" He yells.
I bite my lip and nod, feeling tears surface.
"You know what Damon?" I glare at him and feel anger rise up in me. "I didn't ask for this. But we have to make the best out of it and yeah there will be times where we both won't be able to see her as much but you know what? Newsflash! We are teenage parents in high school!"
"I know that." He sighs. "I just…move in with me." He says so fast I almost don't catch it.
"What…I…uh." I breathe out in shock.
"Yeah." He lights up. "I can help out at night with you and see her a lot more. You wouldn't have to drive her to my house in the mornings…I could be with you…wake up with you…." He breathes out.
"I just…I don't…" I stutter.
"I get it Elena….You don't want to move in with me." He scoffs shaking his head and looking out the window.
"No Damon that's not it-" But I am cut off.
"Whatever." He shakes his head sadly.
"Damon stop." I sigh, irritated.
"What? Is it wrong of me to want to be close to you and my daughter?" He raises his arms in exasperation. "Well I'm sorry Elena, I want that! I guess it is a one-sided thing."
"Damon stop!" I say again. "Look…I don't know where this insecurity is coming from but you are so wrong…I want all of that too but…" I sigh taking a deep breath. "I think we need time apart…to think it through."
Damon freezes and looks at me with a stricken expression. "What? Like break up?" He panics.
"No…" I rub my hand over my face. "Just-I don't know…I just need to think things over, you know what I want, without influence around me. I love you Damon but you and Katherine are right. We have a lot of things to work on and figure out. This baby is coming soon and we need to get to the bottom of it."
"And you need time?" He scoffs. "This awfully feels like a break up." His hands clench into fists.
"It's not unless we can…agree and settle together without fighting all the time!" I snap.
"We fight Elena! We always have since we met! It is not anything new that's just us. So if our relationship is holding onto us not fighting." He blows out a shaky breath. "Then it won't last long." He ends and I can tell he could hardly say that out loud.
I know he is right. Hell the reason we started having sex on that beach that one night was because we were fighting. Fighting is a big part of us. It's the making up and how we can move on that matters. Usually we just kiss to make it up but this seems a lot more serious than that and I am worried.
"Damon…we will try and figure it out but for now I think you and I should take time and think on our own. About what we want…" I let out a deep breath.
"About what we what? I know what I want Elena!" He points out.
I nod. "I know."
"You are scared Elena!" He walks up to me until we are inches apart. "The fighting, the consuming it scares you to know how real we are. It scares you to commit to something that can excite you and change your life. But I know you, Elena….I know you want passion, excitement and even a little danger. You even want a love that consumes you…but you're afraid."
There is a moment of silence after he says those words and his face still inches from mine watching me intensely. I gulp at his proximity and words. They hit me like a freight train. The past seven months or so have been a whirlwind. I have had so many ups and downs and decision making. I know I want Damon; there is no question about that. The question is, am I ready? Everything seems to be happening so fast.
"Can you just go Damon." My voice breaks and I am a second away from emotionally breaking down. "This isn't fair to you. So I will let you know what I want, once I figure that out but in the meantime go. You deserve better than to be dragged through this while I think things through and decide…I am sorry."
"Elena…"
"Just go." I whisper.
I can tell he doesn't want to go. He stands there for a few moments contemplating what to do. I can tell we are both mad at each other right now for being in this situation. For letting it get this far and I can tell he wants to stay and fix it because we are both in this together so much and love each other so much. But I also can tell he knows that we both need to think things over and cool off before we say something we will regret.
He nods slowly. "Don't be afraid Elena." He says lastly before walking out of the room and I hear the front door shut downstairs.
I slide down my wall and feel my shoulders shake. I love him I really do. This isn't a question of our love but of our commitment. He has amazing points of me moving in and moving forward in our relationship but he is right.
I am scared.
Damon…he…snuck up on me. He excites me makes me question things and makes my life one big adventure. It definitely isn't something I am used to. I grew up with both my dad and my mom who are very prestigious in this town. My whole family and everyone always watching me to make sure I was doing things right and that didn't bother me until my mom passed and I realized how much I limited myself and never did anything for me. Which brought on my rebellion stage and now an unplanned pregnancy.
But I don't regret any of it. It makes me the person I am. Even though some of the things suck and will impact my life forever. They happened and they brought Damon and Cara with them. So yeah I love the adventure and the wild rides I take with Damon and the little one we will take with us.
But sometimes…he consumes me so much it makes me dizzy to the point I can't even talk about it. He consumes so much of me and my thoughts that it scares me. It scares me how important he is to me. It scares me how much I rely on him and…love him.
Because I don't want to lose him.
The closer we get, it's like my mom's death playing in the background of my head on a constant loop. Reminding me what happens when you let someone close. When you let someone in.
When you love them.
I almost need to train my body to stop doing that. Or at least trust him and the fact that yeah something might happen to him but that is the beauty of love. Taking that risk and jumping. It's better if you take the chance and love someone than not love at all.
But am I ready to move in with him? I am sixteen years old…could I leave my dad? Jeremy is almost never home and my dad just went through a nasty break up. In some ways we are all each other has in this house. I know that's not true but it does worry me.
Damon is right though. He really is. Cara will do better at his house around her dad, grandma, grandpa and uncle. To be around her family and Italian roots. It would also be easier on me to not have to drive her over in the mornings before school next year. But again I am just a teenager. Am I ready to move in with my boyfriend of three months? It is way too soon but we can't just think of us either.
I am stuck.
I sigh and head for my bed before plopping down and closing my eyes. I need to sleep it off. Maybe after my nap I will be in a better mindset.
…..
"Lena? You awake?"
I groan, rubbing my eyes before opening them. The sun is no longer coming through my window. It has now set and there is a faint darkness taking over. I glance my eyes to my right and my dad is above me staring down at me.
"I am now." I grumble.
"I just wanted to let you know dinner is ready. Where is Damon?" He asks looking around my room.
I know my dad is probably perplexed right now that it is Saturday and Damon and me are not within ten feet of each other.
I sigh. "We got into a huge fight. Taking some space." I sit up on the edge of my bed.
"Oh…wow." My dad is almost speechless. "And how is Damon liking the space?" My dad stifles a smile.
I crack a smile. "Not well."
He sighs before sitting down on the bed next to me. "Want to talk about it?"
I shrug. "Not much to talk about…he's worried." I let out a sigh.
"About what?"
"He is worried he won't be a dad. He wants to be a hands-on dad and wake up with her and change her diapers at night. And he knows he can't do that across town. I guess he just wants to be around her all the time which I get, but it's hard with us being teen parents."
"So what was the fight about?" My dad asks confused.
"Damon…wants me to move in with him. I see where he is coming from I do. But I don't know if I am ready or if our relationship is ready for that yet. I mean we have only been dating a few months; I don't want to rush anything and destroy our relationship, for our daughter. She is more important. I know but I don't want her to be around that fighting and yelling if we did live together and it didn't work out you know?"
"I get it Elena." My dad nods. "You are being very smart and thorough about this. That is a good thing. You don't want to act on love all the time and rush into things. When you become a parent it is not about you anymore and you have to logically think things through. See you guys are already doing something right." My dad smiles encouragingly.
I nod. "Then he took it as me not wanting to make a commitment or to have Cara be around him. But that's not true…I…" I shake my head.
"I know Elena but sometimes people get hurt and think the worst. He obviously loves you two so much he is scared to lose any time spent with you guys. Yeah it is very soon and I wouldn't support it too much you moving in so young and soon but you do what you have to do what you think is best for your family, Elena. Do what your heart says despite the number of months you two have been dating. If you think it will work out and be fine then do it. But if you're worried about certain things. Don't rush something like that." He advises.
I feel a smile break through and it feels good talking to my dad like this again. This is how it was before my mom passed. I was always a daddy's girl. I remember when I had my first serious crush in sixth grade and I asked him what to do. Feels so long ago but he would help me out in any situation.
Before I can respond there is the sound of the doorbell ringing throughout the house. The first thought that comes to mind is, Damon. Me and my dad share a confused look before we both get up and head to the door.
But when my dad opens the door, my heart drops at the unexpected visitor, it is Andie.
She has a bitter expression on her face but my dad nods and lets her in. I raise my eyebrow confused but he waves me off. "She is coming to get the last of her stuff."
I frown at the woman who broke my dad's heart and she glares at me. "Well you have gotten…fa-bigger." She says with disgust.
"Andie, the box of your things is in the kitchen. Go get it and leave." My dad says coldly.
"Whatever. It was a pain in the ass living and being here anyway. I was only with you for the money." She shrugs and struts into the kitchen.
I let out a huff at what she said while my dad shakes his head. He doesn't seem too remorseful though. Maybe he had an inkling.
A few moments later she returns with the box and glares at both of us. "Can you open the door?" She snaps. "My arms are full."
My dad sighs and opens the door for her. She takes a few steps until she is in the middle of the doorway when she turns around and looks straight at me. "Have a nice time raising your bastard child." She smirks before walking away.
My dad shuts the door and turns to me. "That woman is…not a nice girl. Thanks for letting me know." He tries to joke. "And don't listen to her…you giving birth to Cara and all the struggles you are going through with that are worth far more than what she will ever do."
I feel my eyes tear up. "Thanks dad."
"You are such a strong girl. Your mom would be so proud." He kisses my forehead.
"I am sorry about Andie, dad...I know you were trying to move on and be happy." I look up at him.
"Don't be sorry Elena. I am happy now. I won't force it. I will just have to wait it out. Your mom was a special woman. I don't want to just jump to anyone. It's ok Elena." He smiles.
I nod. Me and my dad spend the evening making dinner together and catching up. Even Jeremy joined in with us as we watched movies and ate dinner. My dad and I talk like we did a couple years back and I feel closer to him now than I have in a long time. I missed him. Between Damon and Andie we never got to talk too much or spend time together and I missed it. I also miss Damon.
I furiously wash the plate in my hand as my thoughts plague me again. I really do miss him. I have been this long away from him before but it feels different this time. We are in a really fragile place and I am scared I could lose him. His words still stick with me though, how he told me I am scared of what our love is and does to us. It's so raw and passionate and real. But he has a point...I have never felt this way, it is all new to me and in the process I hurt Damon.
I don't ever see myself loving anyone other than him. Some people would call that dumb and naive but it is so true. I can feel it in my bones that Damon is the only guy I could see spending my life with. Before I met him it felt like I was just floating through time and doing nothing with my life. It was boring. I meet him and he turns it upside down and changes it in a snap. It was scary and hard but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my life like this.
Which leads me to my decision.
The answer I should have known all along.
Review?
Oh godddddd. I had such a hard time with part of this, i wanted it to be perfect so i kept changing things and aaaah. I like it now though and once i got past it i was on a roll. But sorry for the wait! I'll try and get better at that especially since we are at the end of the story :)
Thanks to Anna and Olivia for keeping me sane. Like i freaked out haha.
And to this story passing 100k views and 700 reviews! Wow Thank you...So much.
Spoiler: Elena makes a new friend...Who she can relate to quite a bit :D