I used to think
I had the answers to everything,
But now I know
Life doesn't always go my way, yeah...
Feels like I'm caught in the middle

32 weeks and 5 days

Tuesday April 12th

My Braxton hicks' contractions are back. Damon is blaming me for secretly moving boxes around but I swear, I didn't. They really hurt. I almost made him take me to the hospital a few times due to the intense pain and that is saying something for me.

I don't know.

I have this weird feeling inside me. Something is about to change good or bad….I don't know maybe both? All I can do is prepare for it. I have been living at Damon's house which is now my new home, for almost a week. My life here is better than I imagined. We are setting up the rest of Cara's nursery here. Putting a lot of energy into sorting clothes and toys but also trying to pass our classes. I will be giving birth in June which might be a little bit before school is out so I am trying to finish everything up as soon as I can or perhaps even earlier. With the way these contractions are going my doctor and people around me are really considering taking me out of school. And trust me I am almost there.

One downside to living here is Damon is always on my back about laying still. I saw the doctor a few days ago and he was in agreement to Damon to just try and make it to term and walk on eggshells. Try and stay off my feet as much as possible. My dad is talking with the school about possibly doing my work from home the remainder of my pregnancy.

"How are you doing today?" Damon asks walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel which I smile at.

"Good…pain is getting worse but ̶ " I sigh. " ̶ nothing I can do I mean…I was sleeping so…. It's not like I did anything to provoke it." I wince as pain shoots.

I see Damon think things over. "Should we call the doctor again…"

"Damon…they are Braxton Hicks I mean…that's what they were last time…"

"Yeah but what if it is something different this time?" He raises his eyebrows pointedly.

I scoff. "Like what? What else could it possibly be I mean…I have no idea?" I shrug getting up to empty the insanely small bladder of mine.

"Elena…I don't think you should go to school today...-" Damon tries to fight but I cut him off.

"I agree." I say from the bathroom.

"What…Really?"

"Yeah…something feels weird and I don't want to harm Cara. So I agree. But I also don't want to get behind so, can you get my homework for the day?"

"Of course. Make sure to tell your dad to talk to the school about taking you out for the remainder." Damon says.

I flush the toilet before waddling my way out. "Yeah I will…ugh this sucks though. I will be so bored." I pout.

"My mom got you that Doppler to listen to Cara's heartbeat. Do that…and you can carefully organize Cara's room some more and make a pile of things that need to go to the garage until she is older. But I repeat do not lift anything more than five pounds." He warns.

"Damon I know. I am not dumb." I roll my eyes. "I know you don't believe me but I really didn't move any boxes when I moved. The only thing I was remotely going to carry were my bathroom things but I thought that was under five pounds and I apologized." I remind him.

He squints at me making sure I mean my words and then slowly nods. "Okay…" He sighs. "Well I have to get ready for school." He makes an adorable sad face at me and I laugh while climbing back into bed.

I yawn. "Okay bye…have a great day." I slur already drifting to sleep.

"Yeah, yeah."

…

"Elena? Are you hungry?"

I groan rolling over to the sound that woke me up and turn to see Helen beside the bed with a warm smile. "I cooked some breakfast and wanted to let you know if you want some it's downstairs. If not you can go back to sleep and reheat it for later." She informs before leaving the room.

It takes me a few minutes to process what she said due to the fact I am half asleep but soon after I feel my stomach wake up and I give in. Breakfast sounds amazing.

I enter the kitchen to the smell of eggs, bacon, ham, sausage and hash browns. It always feels like Christmas over here, every single day. I get all happy inside whenever I think about how Cara will grow up around this food and environment. I honestly couldn't imagine it any better.

"Good morning sweetie." Helen smiles. "What smells good to you?"

"Everything." I laugh and sit down in one of the chairs.

"Well everything coming up." She prepares my plate.

I wince at the pain getting stronger in my belly. Damn I really thought the more I slept the better I would be. It's like something squeezing my stomach in a sharp sensation. I close my eyes and wait for it to dull over but it just keeps going.

"Elena?"'

I let out a strong gasp of air and open my eyes. "Yeah?"

She hands me the plate of food with a frown. "You okay? Is that pain back?" She worries.

I nod. "Yeah." I grab the plate and plop a sausage link in my mouth. "That's why I didn't go to school today…it is getting worse and…" But I bite my lip and shake my head.

"What?"

"I just…it doesn't feel like Braxton Hicks contractions and it isn't labor or there would be progression so whatever is happening has to be something else and I don't know what and I don't want to worry Damon or overreact but…something is happening." I shake my head again and start to eat my eggs.

"Do you want me to call Damon? He would want to be here if it gets really bad."

"No…I'll try and wait till school is over. I just never felt this pain before." I shrug and put another bite into my mouth.

She nods but has the same looks across her face as Damon gets when he is generally worried. But both of them keep their fears quiet around me to keep me calm. I don't know how they do it but Damon definitely inherited it from his mom.

The pain I am having is so weird though. Its above my belly bump almost like it has nothing to do with Cara but with me? I don't know. Out of all my problems in my pregnancy this one is scaring me the most. Call it mothers intuition but I am on my toes right now.

I let out another breath before rubbing my belly trying to sooth her so she doesn't decide to come out. She needs to cook in there for as long as she can. Helen still has the worry eye on me but I try to finish the breakfast she made me.

I drag my feet back up the stairs to Damon's bedroom but every step is making the pain intensify and much worse. When I finally reach his bed I collapse in a big breath and wince as the pain starts to feel as if someone is stabbing me.

"No, no, no." I whimper. How could this be happening? What is happening? I know one thing though.

I have to call Damon.

I decide to tell Helen first maybe she will know what to do or can calm her son down better than I can because he will freak when he finds out. I grab my phone and head back downstairs, extra cautious with every step I take.

I reach the parlor and find Helen tiding around when she spots me with one arm behind my back and my face scrunched up from pain.

"Oh dear…what's happening?"

"Should I call Damon?" I pant out. "I mean it hurts really badly and he always wants to know these kinds of things." I wonder aloud and start freaking out.

"Yeah he would probably want that." Helen nods.

I groan and cringe my way to the couch to sit down before dialing Damon's number. He answers on the first ring. Almost like he was waiting.

"Elena?"

"Damon." I cry and lose all calmness in that second. I am freaking out now. I just want a healthy pregnancy and baby. That is all I want in life and this pain is on another level and damn I would just love to carry Cara to term. "The pain is so bad." I sob. "And it's getting worse Damon." I cry into the phone.

"Elena…listen to me, okay? Keep breathing and hand the phone to my mom okay?" He says calm and steadily.

"What? Why?" I gasp between cries.

"Elena hand the phone to my mom." I whimper but hold the phone out to Helen she frowns for a millisecond before taking it and pressing it to her ear.

"Yes…I know Damon. Okay." She nods vigorously. "Okay I will. Yes. Drive safe." She says before she hangs up and hands the phone back to me.

I sniffle and wipe my tears. "I take it, he's coming?"

She sighs. "Oh yeah. Could hardly talk to him before he was in his car and on his way.

I groan and lean back against the pillow as more pain takes over me. It doesn't come and go so they aren't contractions. I am almost scared to know what they are.

Helen sits with me rubbing both my back and belly while we wait for Damon. I was hoping by the time he got here the pain would get better or subside but it is going downhill. This is some of the worst pain I have ever felt I am in tears and I know I am scaring Helen. A few times I was worried she was about to drive me to the hospital herself.

She is still rubbing my back as I am bent over my knees when my boyfriend slams open the front door, leaving it open and getting to me. He takes a few strides till he is kneeling in front of me putting both hands on each side of my face. "Hey, talk to me? What's happening?"

"It hurts, Damon. Make it stop." I bite my lip.

He rubs my sides before he sighs. "Come on…we need to go to the hospital Elena. And don't even try to fight me on it." He warns as he picks me up bridal style. I hold my arms tight around his neck breathing in his smoky scent as it calms me.

He gently places me in the backseat and climbs in with me holding my body to his. He kisses my head and rubs my sides, it feels so good. Helen climbs into the front and we are on the road I grab my phone and text my dad and brother to let them know. Damon is leaning against the door while I am leaning against him; his hands are on my belly constantly rubbing it. The pain starts shooting up and I squirm a little to find comfort but nothing.

"Mom, where is dad?" Damon asks behind me.

"He just flew to Arizona this morning for a meeting should be back tomorrow night."

He continues rubbing my belly but I don't feel Cara kicking as much as she normally would if he merely touched my belly. Before I can think of more we arrive at the emergency department. Damon gets out first before taking me again in his arms and we head up to the entrance.

They sign me in and quickly wheel me back in a wheelchair before hooking me up to all their machines. I feel nausea settle in from the anxiety I feel. I have no idea what can happen or is happening. Damon and Helen stay next to me through all their questions from when the pain started and the number it is. They also tell me my dad just got into surgery so he will be out when he can.

"Hello Elena nothing to worry about yet we just want to do a quick ultrasound." One of the doctors say as they wheel the machine up to me. "We want to rule out anything happening to the baby." One of the male doctors explains and I nod.

I pull up my gown before they squirt the familiar gel on my round belly and move the device around. Quickly Cara's strong heartbeat sounds the room and I can almost tell everyone taking a breath of relief that she is alive and breathing.

"Elena, can I have you point for me where your pain is at?" One of the doctors asks. I nod and point a little above my bump and they both frown but nod and quickly move the device there. They move around before murmuring weird medical terms to each other and taking pictures. I wince as the pain grows and as they push on the area.

One of the doctors wipes the device clean before turning to me. "We will both be right back." They smile before leaving.

I turn to Damon with frightened eyes and he grabs my hand and squeezes it. "Elena stay calm we don't know anything yet, alright? Shshhh."

I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing a lot like when I have contractions but this time to calm my nerves down.

A few minutes later they come back, I quickly open my eyes. Damon squeezes my hand in support because the look on their faces tells me they know what is happening and causing this pain and I just hope to god it doesn't have to do with Cara.

One of the doctors takes a seat on the stool while the other hangs out by the wall. "So Elena we definitely know what is causing your pain. The problem is going to be the fact that you are pregnant."

"What is it?" I ask.

"You have pretty severe gallstones happening right now in your gallbladder. Normally that wouldn't matter we could pump you full of medicine or just remove the gallbladder all together but we can't because you are carrying a child." He braces me.

"So what can you do?" Damon speaks up behind me.

"Right now we will try medicine with safe dosages that won't harm the baby but just to be safe we will need to hook you up to a fetal monitor to make sure the baby doesn't get any more stressed than she is because she did show some signs of stress. Not much too worry about yet but something to keep an eye on."

"What if this doesn't work?" Helen speaks this time.

"We will discuss what…to do then." They both nod before leaving.

I cover my face with my hands and let the tears fall that have been threatening to escape for a while. I sob into my hands but I feel Damon sit next to me on the bed and try and comfort me but I am freaking out. Calm-Elena, is out the window. I just want to know this baby inside me will be safe. Once I know that I will be the happiest person in the world, I don't care what happens to me.

"Elena I need you to calm down, baby. Come on…" He rubs my back but I just continue to sob harder. He sighs and scoots completely on the bed and envelops me in his arms. I sniffle and lean into his embrace. His touch can do so much to me and I can feel my breathing and tears slow down.

"We will figure out something okay? We will survive. We always survive." He tells me while looking intensely into my eyes and nod numbly.

The nurse comes in a little bit later to hook up an IV and start some medicine. They told me the medicine could make Cara more stressed or drowsy but shouldn't harm her altogether with the doses and kind they are doing. Though they told me there isn't a lot they can do for my pain, they are basically giving me the doses a newborn would get.

About an hour after they hooked me up to an IV and started the meds my dad appeared at the door breathless, quickly opens the door and enters. "Elena! What is going on? What did they say?"

Damon speaks up for me. "She has gallstones in her gallbladder but they can't do much because-"

"She is pregnant." My dad finishes and sighs. "Damn."

"You're a doctor. Tell us, what do they do if this small amount of medicine doesn't work? Or if Cara gets more stressed? What happens?" I ask franticly.

My dad sighs and leans his hands against the table next to my bed. "Well if the baby gets too under stress the heart beat can drop and that can be pretty dangerous. Look Elena, you don't need to know the rest okay? We will face it when we get there okay?" He kisses my forehead. "How are you doing now?"

"I am still in so much pain." My voice breaks. "But they said there isn't much they can do." I shrug hopelessly.

Before my dad can say something a nurse knocks before entering. "Hello Elena I am just here to take some vitals again and check on the fetal monitor." She smiles.

I nod as she looks over the chart from the fetal monitor and murmurs to herself. "Okay well the baby is still under a little stress but still nothing too alarming." She smiles before grabbing the blood pressure cuff and putting it around my arm and pumping it. I wince as it squeezes my arm but it quickly releases and I let out a breath.

She frowns as she tears off the cuff and enters the findings into the computer. "Well honey your blood pressure is pretty high which is not good for people who are pregnant. Are you feeling dizzy? Nauseas at all?"

I nod meekly. "I thought it was just nerves…" I shrug.

"Well we will definitely have to keep an eye on that for obvious reasons…I will go tell Doctor Shaw, excuse me." She smiles before exiting the room.

I frown. "What could be so bad about blood pressure?"

My dad scrubs his hands over his face and groans. "It can be pretty bad, Elena." But Damon shoots my dad a look I can't decipher and my dad quickly speaks. "But nothing to worry about yet Elena, okay? Just keep calm alright sweetie?" Right then his pager goes off and he sighs. "I have to go see a few patients but I'll come back and check on you and if anything happens let me know and I will be here." He says seriously.

I nod, still a little confused from everything happening but agree. He gives me another kiss, this time on the cheek. My dad and Damon share another look before he leaves the room. I let out a deep breath and rub my belly which always seems to comfort me a little. Because whatever is happening, Cara always seems to be there.

Damon squeezes my hand again and I close my eyes trying to find my relaxing place. I am trying my hardest to stay calm but I am finding it is really hard right now.

"Hello Elena, Damon and…?" The doctor tries to catch Helens name and I open my eyes again.

"Oh I am Helen, Damon's mother." She smiles.

"Ohhh so new grandma soon huh?" He nods.

"Yes and I can't wait."

"Well congrats to all of you. I am Dr. Peters. Dr. Shaw finished his shift but he told me about your case and right as he got off, Emily one of the nurses told me about your blood pressure which is a little alarming. Elena how do you feel?" He turns to me and asks.

"Mainly just in pain but pretty nauseous too and maybe a headache? I don't know." I shrug. "I think I am just pretty stressed." I sigh.

"Which you have every right to be because people who are pregnant do not want to be in the hospitals, especially so close to term. It is totally understandable but I don't think your symptoms are coming from stress….I want to take your blood pressure myself again if that is alright?"

I nod.

He grabs the cuff again and pumps a few moments later he sighs as he puts the findings into the computer before sitting on the stool facing me. "I have bad news."

My heart stops and I feel my palms sweat because what could be worse than what I already have?

"What is it?" Helen asks for both of us.

He takes a deep breath. "I believe she has Pre-Eclampsia. It is a condition which a lot of first time moms get that raises the mom's blood pressure and can be fatal to both the mom and the baby…"

I shake my head at this news. This can't be possible, she has to be okay.

"Is there medicine or a treatment?" Damon speaks up but his voice scares me. It is full of fear.

The doctor shrugs. "Depends how you look at it. The only cure is delivering the baby which doesn't help because she isn't term yet but she also isn't dangerously early to the point where I am worried about the babies health. There are many babies born at this gestation. It can still be risky, but happens a lot."

"So, I have to have her? Soon?" I clarify.

"Well not yet. Your blood pressure is climbing but that is because your gallbladder issues are contributing to it. It is a combination. I believe you have had this for a while but the gallbladder issues flared it up and made it more evident. It all depends how high your blood pressure climbs and the stress of the baby. Though both are climbing which is not looking good."

I groan and rub my eyes trying to wrap my head around all of this. This is it, this is what I have been worried about in my gut for a few days. I knew something was going to happen. It was mother's intuition. But this is so much worse than I thought; I never fully read this part of the pregnancy book because I thought it was absurd. I never thought this would happen to me.

Helen looks at both me and Damon who are speechless and sighs. "So for now you will just monitor her right?"

Doctor Peters nods. "Yes I think we will admit her to be safe and to keep an eye on her and the baby."

Both Damon and Helen nod soaking up the information. Me and Damon share a look and on both of our faces is fear. Fear that something could happen to our daughter and fear that something could happen to me. I can't even imagine what Damon must be feeling. Both me and Cara are in danger I couldn't imagine if it were reversed.

They moved me up a few floors once they admitted me and are still giving me medicine to stop my gallstones and calm them down. I feel my pain going down which I feel almost gleeful about and I keep telling the doctors and my dad at any chance but they all have another look on their face telling me there is something else to worry about. Something bigger.

They keep bringing Damon and Helen out to the hall as well as Giuseppe who got home and telling them information about me and updates. I asked Damon why I can't know and he said they wanted me to stay calm because I was freaking out earlier. But every time Damon comes back into the room his face falls a little bit more.

"Where are Giuseppe and Helen?" I ask groggy from some of the meds.

Damon sighs, exhausted. "They went home, they will be back in the morning. My mom went on about the hospital food and how she has to make you better quality." He shrugs and plops down on the bench beside me.

"Damon, go to sleep. The problems will still be here when you wake up." I reach over and caress his face.

He scoffs lightly. "Maybe."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

He sighs and scrubs his hands over his face. "Never mind."

"Why won't anyone tell me anything?" I whine.

"Just bear with us. You trust me right?"

I widen my eyes. "Of course I do."

"Then trust me on this. We all know what we are doing and we are trying our best. Plus you should know soon okay?" He leans over and presses a light kiss on my lips.

I moan. "Don't tempt me in a hospital Salvatore."

He frowns and quickly pulls back.

I raise my eyebrow. "What?"

He leans over a little and touches the back of his and to my cheek and sighs. "Your face is red and hot…."

"What does that mean? Damon?" I keep asking.

"Hold on." He stands up before exiting the room.

I groan and kick the bed sheets. I just really want to know what is happening with Cara and if she is okay in there. It would kill me to think that I am causing her harm. But I trust Damon with both mine and Cara's life and if he says he knows what he is doing I trust him on that.

A few minutes later one of the doctors for this floor ̶ I can't remember the name of because I have seen and met so many doctors ̶ and a nurse enter the room followed by Damon. I sigh, what is happening now?

"What's going on?" I look over at the doctor, nurse and Damon.

"Elena we have been monitoring your gallstones, blood pressure, fetus and pain the past few hours as you know?"

I nod.

He sighs as he sits in a chair next to me. "The stress of the baby is getting too risky. Now the blood pressure is the main thing, I was hoping to get it down it stabilized but Elena it is sky rocketing and I am sure you can feel it? You are getting pretty flushed which is your bodies way of trying to fight it but…Its not working and I will be honest I feel uncomfortable leaving the baby inside of you any longer. She isn't responding to the stress tests well and isn't moving like she is supposed to. I think it is almost certain now you have Pre-eclampsia."

"But…wait a sec…I thought the problem was the gallstones? Is that fine now?" I stutter, unable to make clear of this situation.

"Miraculously we have stalled them for now but once your deliver the baby we will give you proper treatment. Right now…Elena I think it is best to deliver the baby. The Pre-eclampsia is making her very stressed and weak and I don't want it to get any worse. We already have proof that over a period of time things are going downhill and not better."

I look to Damon who is nodding comforting at me and it hits me that he knew this was the probable outcome for a few hours but wanted to make sure it was true before telling me. I really respect him for that. I wouldn't want to get worried for nothing. But now this is something.

"So…" I breathe out and shake my head. "I have to deliver this baby? Now? At 32 weeks?" I gasp.

"She has a very good chance at being born with no issues but I guarantee if she stays in there she can develop numerous things or it could even end fatally." He informs me.

I shake my head and feel tears streaming down my cheeks. This can't be happening. I still have eight more weeks left to carry her. Will she be okay? Is this the right choice? A million scenarios pop through my head as I try to decide what is best for us. For her.

"This is just…too soon she has to grow more." I look between all of them. "I just I don't think this is the right option. She has to develop more." I persist.

"Elena." Damon starts next to me. "Just within the past few hours your body has changed and not in a good way. We can't wait eight weeks and you know that. This is our only option." He pleads.

"It is essentially up to you Elena but once you say yes, I can have you back in the operating room in less than five minutes. You could be holding your baby in less than an hour. I know it seems very early but really I deliver babies less than 25 weeks old and they have some great success stories. She can be fine, really. But we won't know till we deliver her. I didn't see anything alarming on the ultrasound, the only thing that is wrong is she is very stressed and in danger from the Pre-eclampsia right now but once we get her out that would stop."

"So I would have to have a C-section?" I look at the doctor with panic.

"Yes. You are in a great risk right now. Not only is your baby at huge risk but you are as well Elena. The only cure for this is delivering her. And really C section is the only option because you are only 32 weeks Elena so your cervix is still soft and not ready as the baby is under stress as it is, and going down the birth canal and everything a birth entails can make it worse."

I look at Damon who squeezes my hand and nods. I can see the dark circles under his eyes at the pressure of keeping this from me and staying awake caused. He would do anything for this little family of ours so I trust him to make good decisions and have great insight.

"Okay." I breathe out. "I will do it. We can deliver her tonight." I smile up at Damon. Despite all the complications and drama surrounding this birth I don't want to forget the most important thing. I am about to give birth to my daughter with this man I love so much.

Reivew?

I know it seems fast but i actually have planned the entire birth like this since the beginning of time. Besides aren't births most of the time out of nowhere? Hahaha. I actually got inspired by the birth by a certain TV show i might tell you next chapter hahaha but this chapter obviously is shorter than others but I also posted it sooner than I normally do AND we get to meet Cara next chapter! So...All is good. Right?

Thanks to Anna for beta'ing and Rita for ...Well basically ensuring me it was angst filled and making me send her spots of this story all the time like a drug addict.

I really hope you all liked it, planned this for a long time. Tell me what you think?

Xo

Until next time...Is a spoiler really needed ;)