Again, thanks to meeshie and Fairies Masquerade for some mad beta skillz. Any remaining errors and suckitude are entirely my own fault. About 99.9% of the reader comments on chapter one mentioned looking forward to the Caryl reunion in this chapter. Lordy, I hope y'all aren't disappointed.
For those unfamiliar with it, This Woman's Work is a Kate Bush song that I love. It inspires all kinds of angsty Caryl goodness for me, and really seems to encompass Season 5 Carol/Caryl in particular.
The Walking Dead does not belong to me. Duh. Action and dialogue taken from episodes belong to their respective copyright holders. No infringement is intended.
Disappearing into the woods outside of Terminus, Carol headed back along the fence toward the place where the group of prisoners had scaled it. Forced to move more carefully after shedding her walker disguise, she picked her way slowly through the trees. And as she got closer, her steps slowed even more. These people were her family, and she loved them. She would do anything for them. But after what she'd done for them at the prison, she wasn't sure they would still consider her their family.
Tyreese hadn't known, but that didn't mean Rick hadn't told others. And he'd be telling his version – that she was cold. A danger to them. A killer.
She stopped. No one will want you there.
And after what she'd had to do in the pecan grove, maybe Rick was right. Her stomach lurched at the memory, and she swallowed hard to keep down the little she'd eaten that day.
Blowing a shaky breath, she hefted the crossbow's strap higher on her shoulder. One thing at a time. She had to reunite Tyreese and Judith with Rick and whoever else was with him. Everything else could wait.
When she reached the place where they had hopped the fence, she picked up their trail and followed. The path wasn't difficult to see – a large group had escaped. With luck, at least some of them would be from the prison.
Carol slipped through the trees like a ghost, and it wasn't long before she heard the murmur of voices from up ahead. When the group finally came into view, she stopped in her tracks. All she could do was stare. It was more than she could have hoped for – so many of her family were right here in front of her. Alive. Then her eyes locked onto a tattered set of angel wings and she lost the ability to breathe.
He'd made it out.
A heavy knot in her belly she hadn't even been aware of loosened. But an instant later, a thrill of fear shot through her – what had Rick told him? A twig cracked under her foot, catching Daryl's ear. He turned to look, and she held her breath again, waiting uncertainly for his reaction.
Their eyes met, and she nearly staggered under the weight of it. It felt like an eternity as he just looked at her in shock at first. But then he ran – ran! – to her and swept her up in a crushing embrace, but she didn't mind the pain of her bruised rib in the least. Relief broke through the fear in her heart as he clung to her so tightly. Something inside her swelled to bursting, bringing tears with it. He was alive! He was alive, and he was happy she was here.
She almost couldn't believe it was real – his arms around her, holding her as if he might never let her go. When finally he did, he shifted and paced in front of her as though his body couldn't contain whatever feelings churned under the surface. And just when she thought he might say something, his face crumpled, and he dropped his head to her shoulder instead. She smiled and touched his face, his neck – reassuring both of them that they were here. Together.
Rick approached then, and Daryl stepped aside to make way, though he didn't stop his fidgeting. She tensed again as Rick eyed her.
"Did you do that?" he asked.
She hesitated briefly, then nodded. Without a pause, he pulled her into an embrace, and she could feel him trembling. He whispered in her ear, "Thank you."
Carol let out a breath. For now, it seemed everything would be all right.
Until they find out what you did in the grove. The thought was just a whisper, but it sobered her instantly.
One thing at a time.
When he pulled away, she told him, "You have to come with me."
He looked at her, but instead of questioning it, he simply nodded.
In a twisted sort of receiving line, the others from the prison came up to greet her, smiling and hugging her with tears in their eyes, though she felt oddly out of place, as if she were an impostor no one had discovered yet. Meanwhile, a bag of guns was dug free from the ground, and the weapons and supplies handed out.
Carol pointed the way, and most of the group started off, though she hung back for a moment. Now that the excitement of their escape from Terminus had calmed, Daryl seemed almost reluctant to approach, though he was never more than a few steps away, and his eyes never left her. She pulled the crossbow from her shoulder and offered it to him. He stepped forward at last, reaching out to accept it.
After checking it over and slinging it across his back, he grunted, "Can't believe you brought it out with you."
"Had to," she explained. "I had to believe I'd be able to return it to you."
He nodded once, and the corner of his mouth tipped up.
They trudged on in silence with Carol leading the way to the little cabin. Daryl stuck right at her side the whole time. She'd lost so much over the last weeks, she'd forgotten what it was like to have something good. Glancing back over her shoulder, she marveled at being with so many of her prison family again. She saw Maggie looking at her, and when their eyes met, the younger woman smiled, but it felt plastic, and she looked hurriedly away. The small bit of happiness Carol had found faded just a little. She knows. She knows you don't belong here.
As the cabin came into view, Tyreese stepped onto the porch with Judith in his arms. In a flurry of movement, Rick, Carl, and Sasha ran ahead to reunite with those they thought they'd lost. Despite her unease, Carol couldn't help but smile at their joy, and pride filled her knowing she'd been part of making it happen. At least she'd managed to keep one little girl alive.
Only one. And that was mostly Tyreese's doing.
They took a small break there at the cabin as hugs and introductions went around. Carol stood to the side and watched it all. She was relieved Tyreese seemed to have gotten past his reluctance to kill. In terms of the world before walkers, it seemed a terrible thing to think about someone, but things were different now. Without the resolve to kill when needed, without hesitation...he wouldn't survive. And he wouldn't be able to help the rest of them survive.
Just then, Rick suggested they get moving again, to put as much distance as possible between themselves and Terminus before nightfall. Folks picked up weapons, shouldered packs, and headed off into the trees. When they reached one of the many railroad tracks, they turned to follow it away from the black column of smoke in the sky.
After an hour or so of walking in silence, she was nudged out of her thoughts as Carl stepped alongside her.
"Carol?"
"Carl." She dredged up a smile for him. God, it seemed like he'd grown a foot since she last saw him at the prison.
He walked beside her looking awkward in that way only teenagers can. "I just wanted to say thanks...for coming in after us. If you hadn't, I think we'd all be dead right now."
"Maybe. But I just gave you an opportunity. You saved yourselves," she said softly.
The young man threw his arms around her in a clumsy hug, pulling them both to a stop. "Thanks for giving us a shot, then." He stepped back again, eyes on the ground. "You came for us. Just you against all of them. You stepped up and did something, and we're alive because of it."
Glancing back up, he raised his eyebrows at her and grinned. "That's pretty bad-ass."
The boy turned to rejoin his father and Judith up ahead. Carol watched him go before trudging again down the tracks. She heard Daryl approach from the other side.
"Gonna get yourself a fan club there," he murmured, a hint of his old humor brightening his voice.
Turning, she met his eyes solemnly. "I don't think so."
He frowned a bit, but didn't say anything else.
They walked the rest of the day with only a few short breaks. Daryl always seemed to be beside her, and as grateful as she was to have found him safe, his steady scrutiny was beginning to make her edgy. His watchful eyes seemed to see right through to her heart, leaving her feeling raw and exposed. For a while, he kept his thoughts to himself, but eventually, curiosity or maybe a need to connect drove him to speak.
"How'd you know what happened at the prison? About Terminus? How'd you find us?" Daryl asked quietly. "I know Rick left you...and with the rest of us gettin' scattered? Shit, I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
Carol shifted the rifle strap on her shoulder and glanced at him sidelong. She walked for a bit before answering. "I saw the smoke and went back. The Governor was already there, the fences were down, and the prison was burning. There was no way to get close, and even if I could, there wasn't much I could do. But I saw Tyreese running into the trees with...with Judith." Biting her lip, she finished quickly. "We followed the signs. Got lucky."
Daryl nodded, but she got the feeling he knew she wasn't quite telling him the truth.
On one of the breaks, Carol managed to slip away from him to the creek to fill some water bottles. As she crouched by the water, the rustling of leaves alerted her to another presence. Tyreese stepped through the underbrush to join her at the creek's edge. Despite everything that had happened, she felt strangely more at ease with him than she did with anyone else in the group, including Daryl. That struck her as sad, since things between her and Ty were anything but easy.
Ty spoke just loud enough to be heard over the trickling water. "Talked to Rick. Some of them know what you did...at the prison. Daryl. Maggie. They accept it. You wouldn't be here if they didn't."
Carol wasn't so sure about the last part. But Ty continued.
"Gonna talk to the rest of them. Tell 'em to accept it, too."
Frowning a bit, she replied, "They don't have to."
"No," Ty insisted. "They do. They just do."
Carol glanced over, disturbed that he expected to have to defend her right to stay. They don't want you.
Her stomach clenched when he added, "We don't need to tell them about the girls. I don't want to."
"Why?"
"I just need to forget it."
Forget. Could she forget it? Did she even want to? Without planning to, she'd lied by omission to Daryl about the girls earlier. She mulled Ty's words over as they finished filling the bottles and returned to the group just in time to be on their way again. As the afternoon waned, she still couldn't sort out her feelings about the conversation with Tyreese, but she knew she no longer felt at ease with him.
Shortly before dusk, Rick called a halt, and they went about setting up camp. After they'd eaten and started settling in for the night, Daryl stopped beside her.
"I'm takin' watch. Why'nt you come with me?"
She looked up at his face, full of hope and apprehension, and the 'no' died before it passed her lips. It just wasn't in her to refuse him. If she joined him, maybe she could find some way to alleviate his concern for her enough to stop his constant hovering. Before she could form a new answer, though, Rick caught her eye from over Daryl's shoulder, clearly wanting to speak with her.
Acid washed through her gut. But she smiled, albeit wryly, and told Daryl, "You go ahead. I'll be there in a minute."
His head dipped in a quick nod, and he left.
Rick approached, but waited until everyone moved away to keep their words private. In a hushed voice, he told her, "I owe you everything."
The semi-apologetic tone put her immediately on the defensive. It was the same tactic Ed used over and over again, convincing her to forgive him for inexcusable abuses. Rick had abandoned her. "You owe Tyreese. He was at the prison."
"You got back there," Rick insisted.
Digging into her pocket, she pulled out the watch she'd taken from Terminus. She gave it a long look, then held it out to him. At his puzzled expression, she explained, "It was in one of their storerooms."
Taking the watch, he murmured, "I saw them kill him...that kid."
Then he dug into his own pocket and offered her back the broken watch Ed had given her so long ago.
She stared at it, seeing not a watch, but her old life. By offering it back, Rick was asking her to go back to the way she was before. The ever-smoldering anger deep inside her flared hot again. That person was gone – burned away. Even if she could go back, she would never be that person again.
Pressing her lips together, she shook her head. Not trusting her voice, she grunted a negative. "Hm-mm."
He shifted closer and spoke quietly, "I still don't know about what you did...but I know you knew some things I didn't. I sent you away to this-"
She cut him off abruptly with a challenge in her eyes. "You said I could survive. You were right."
Nodding, he repeated, "I sent you away to this, and now we're joining you." He paused, then met her gaze directly. "Will you have us?"
Will you have us? The phrase rang in her head. Will you have us? With the shock of a slap in the face, the words confirmed what she'd been feeling since the escape from Terminus. It was her and them. She was no longer a part of 'us'. Everything he'd said tonight could be taken for an apology or an olive branch, but underneath he was just reminding her of her place. All she heard was the sound of the locked car door in that cul-de-sac shutting her out.
She smiled tightly with a clenched jaw and did her best to nod.
"Thank you," he murmured, leaving Carol to watch him go, heading off to join his family by the fire.