He had made up his mind months ago. "I'll stay until after Christmas and until you've hired a new estate manager" he had told Mary and he had kept his promise. Christmas had been almost four months ago. Tom had worked with the new manager for the past two months. He and his family had settled into the Estate Manager's house. Now it was finally time for Tom to go.
Tom had spent some of the past two months trying to prepare Sybbie for their new adventure but he wasn't really sure what the four year old actually understood. He had shown her pictures of ships like they would sail on. Both Mary and Edith had talked to her about the two times they had sailed to America and the great adventures they had on the ship although in listening to their stories, Tom thought they were actually making things up trying to appeal to a four year old's imagination.
Now their bags were packed and everything was ready for their voyage. They would leave in the morning for Ireland where Tom wanted to spend a week with his mother and family. They would of course say their final goodbyes in the morning but Tom wanted to speak to them individually before then. He wanted them to know that he was leaving with a heavy heart.
Although Tom knew all the staff would be turned out for his departure, he wanted to speak to Mrs. Hughes alone. From the time Tom began working at Downton he had had a fondness for the housekeeper. He knew she was really the reason Downton functioned as well as it did. Everyone on the staff held her in high regard and for the younger staff she was a substitute mother.
As he entered her office, she stood up as was customary for when any of the family entered the domain of the staff.
"Please sit Mrs. Hughes. I just wanted to speak to you for a few minutes if you have the time."
She looked at him and warmly smiled, "Of course, Mr. Branson. So tomorrow is the big day"
"Aye. I've talked about this for so long, it's hard to believe the time has finally come." Tom paused, afraid his eyes might fill with tears. "I just wanted to thank you for all your kindness to me from the time I first came here as the chauffeur to now."
"I do wish you and Miss Sybbie the very best. You both will be missed greatly by so many here. Would you like a cup of tea?"
It was unthinkable that the housekeeper would sit and drink tea in her office with a member of the family but both knew their relationship wasn't ordinary. They spent the next half hour talking about the past and their hopes for their future. Both talked of Sybil. Mrs. Hughes admitted Sybil had always been her favorite of the family and how little Sybbie reminded her so much of Sybil.
As Tom stood to leave, he looked at Mrs. Hughes with tears glimmering in his eyes. "I am leaving with no job and a broken heart"
"Yes" replied Mrs. Hughes, "I am truly sorry that the two of you won't grow old together but you're leaving having had that love fulfilled and with the beautiful and wonderful child you two created."
After his heartwarming talk with Mrs. Hughes, Tom wasn't sure who he'd see next but that was answered when he spied Edith walking down the stairs.
"It's good to see you happy Edith. Between your work and Marigold you seem to have found a purpose in life."
"I am happier than I've ever been" Edith admitted. "But tomorrow will be a great day of sadness for me. I understand why you're leaving but that doesn't make it any easier. I will truly miss you and of course Sybbie."
"You've been my champion Tom" Edith continued "I want you to know how much I've appreciated that."
"Edith, you're a good person. You just have to believe in yourself."
"How much that sounds like something Sybil once said to me." Edith laughed.
A silence overtook them both. As long as Tom remained at Downton he knew the ghost of Sybil would always linger in the air.
Edith broke the silence, "You will write me? I do want to know about your new adventures. And since I won't be seeing her grow up, I want full details on her."
"Of course and the same to you. I want to hear from you."
"And Tom, I do mean it, I want articles for my magazine from you. I expect to receive the first one about your ship voyage no later than two weeks after you arrive in America. My readers will enjoy reading about that especially with a four year old in tow!"
Tom laughed again. "Well at least I know I'll be making some money already. So I can be choosier about taking a real job" Edith laughed with him. "Oh Tom" she hugged him to keep the tears from spilling.
Cora was alone in the sitting room doing some embroidery. Tom wondered what she actually did with all the embroidery he had seen her doing all these years.
"I'm glad to see you Cora. I was hoping to talk to you a bit"
Cora looked up at him with a smile on her face. "Please sit here on the couch with me."
"I actually had something I wanted to ask you. I only have a few pictures of Sybil. Some from our wedding and one from Mary's wedding and one from Edith's" he paused, "well Edith's almost wedding. But I don't have any from before that. I thought that Sybbie would like a few pictures of her mother as a child. Pictures that we could take with us."
Cora looked at him for several seconds willing back the tears she was afraid were beginning. "What a wonderful idea Tom. Let's look at some of the picture albums I have."
Tom was surprised not only at the number of albums Cora had but of the detailed captions that she, or he assumed it was she, had written for each photo. The rest of the day was pleasantly spent with Cora regaling Tom with stories of Sybil's childhood as well as some insights into Cora's own life in America. They were so engrossed in their work they had lunch served to them in the sitting room while they continued looking at the albums. It was only when Mary and Edith appeared for tea that Tom and Cora realized how much time they had spent on the albums.
The two who had so openly shared their deep grief now shared their stories of Sybil with much smiles and laughter. Each came to know the other better and to realize the qualities in each other that Sybil had loved. Together, Cora and Tom created a new album selecting photos from throughout Sybil's life. They also included some of the rest of the family as well. Through their laughter, and a few tears, they wrote new captions that told the story of each photo. In the end Tom had a wonderful book for Sybbie to help her know the mother she would never know in life.
When it was only the family for dinner, Tom and Robert would forgo the custom of having a brandy or whiskey while the women retired to the parlor. They would instead join the women for their after dinner drinks. This suited Tom better because he would leave to read Sybbie her bedtime stories. This suited Robert because although he now thought of Tom as a son he wasn't fully comfortable talking to Tom unless it was about the estate or Sybbie.
However, this night, Robert, as well as the rest of the family and Carson, were surprised when Tom asked Robert to stay for a drink.
"I just wanted a few minutes alone with you." Tom started but was interrupted by Robert "Is there anything wrong? Some last minute issue with the estate?" Robert enquired.
"No. It's just that … it's just that…" now that Tom was alone with Robert he wasn't really sure what to say. "I don't think we'll have much time tomorrow morning to talk and I wanted to say … well … to say …"
"I appreciate you giving me this chance. That is to be the estate manager." Tom finally managed to say. "I surprised myself by how much I came to enjoy the job"
"Tom, you've done a wonderful job. I know we don't, we didn't, always agree but I know you had the best interests of Downton at heart. I do appreciate the work you've done." Robert smiled kindly at Tom.
"I know everyone, including myself, is surprised that I am truly sorry you're leaving" chuckled Robert.
"It's funny how life can change" Tom mused.
The twinkle that had been in Robert's eyes suddenly left. He shifted uncomfortably, looking around the room, looking anywhere but at Tom.
"I truly did you an injustice Tom" Robert finally said. "I was wrong to think that you didn't deserve Sybil."
"Well I proved you right with the way we had to return here and …" Robert interrupted Tom before he could continue.
"I was blind Tom. Even when you came here for Mary's wedding and then for Edith's ... I couldn't see how much you and Sybil loved each other. I didn't want to see. I didn't want to think that she could be so happy with the life you gave her in Ireland. That she would choose that life over … over what we wanted for her."
Tom knew that Robert wasn't a man that expressed his feelings easily at least not ones that showed his vulnerabilities.
"Robert, I know I wasn't easy for you to like then. Actually, in all honesty, I didn't care if you liked me then. If it had been up to me I wouldn't have come here. It was only for Sybil's sake."
"Sybil" Robert whispered her name. "Sybil. I do hope you forgive me although I can't really forgive myself."
"what .. what do you mean?" Tom was truly baffled.
"Believe me Tom, I think every day, that if it wasn't for my stubbornness, she would be here with us now."
"Please Robert, let's not discuss this. We can't change what happened. I know you truly loved her." Tom couldn't tell Robert what he really thought. He did still blame her death on Robert. Not totally but he did think if they had taken her to the hospital there was a chance she would have lived. But Tom knew there was no point in bringing this up now. He had made his peace with Robert a long time ago and he didn't want to leave on bad terms now.
He had grown to like Robert but there was a part of him that would always blame Robert. It was easier to blame Robert than himself. For if he hadn't been so foolish and caused Sybil to flee Ireland. Did the trip contribute to her eclampsia? If they had still been in Ireland she would have given birth at the hospital where she had worked. No … it wasn't only Robert's fault.
An uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Robert poured more whiskey for both he and Tom. Robert drank his in one gulp and then poured another.
"I see Sybbie and I am so reminded of Sybil." Robert finally spoke. "Not only by how much she looks like her but also by how much she acts like her."
"Sybil was the most darling child. She was headstrong and stubborn but she could always make me laugh. I always thought she was the one that would never cause me trouble." Robert laughed a bit at that.
"Maybe I so enjoy playing with Sybbie because it makes me feel young again. I am trying to not make the mistakes I made with Sybil and Mary and Edith."
"I will truly miss her. And you of course Tom. Even now at this late date I wish you would reconsider."
Tom laughed "Did you ever think you'd be begging me to stay at Downton?"
Robert joined Tom in his laughter, "You're right. It is funny how life can change."
That night as he was reading a bedtime story to Sybbie, Mary came into the nursery to give a goodnight kiss to George although the young boy had been asleep for probably over an hour already.
"I thought you'd still be in here." Mary said.
"Well as you can see I think sleep has finally come to this wee one." Tom said fondly as he looked down at his daughter. He leaned over to kiss her forehead and stroke her hair.
"I can't really imagine George without Sybbie around. It will be hard on him" Mary whispered.
"He has Marigold now so he won't be alone." Tom replied.
"Oh Tom. I know we've discussed this over and over but I do wish you'd reconsider. It's not too late."
"I can't stay Mary."
"I know. I just can't imagine life with you. Since Matthew died, you've been the most important person in my life"
Tom chuckled. "Did you ever think you'd say such a thing?"
Mary also chuckled. "Things do change. I've changed."
"And for me too. I will miss you the most Mary. And I never dreamed I'd ever say those words."
Both Mary and Tom laughed and then hugged each other.
"Promise me that you and George will come see us next year. We'll be settled by then. I'm sure George would love a trip on a ship."
"I promise we'll come to visit. And if you're not totally, truly, happy, you'll come back with us." Mary challenged him.
In the early morning Tom would say his final goodbye. It would be his hardest goodbye. He would walk once again to the garage where he had some of his happiest memories. Where he and Sybil had become friends. Where she had finally accepted his proposal. Where they had had their first kiss. And then he would walk to her grave. For one last time. Because he knew he would never go there again until his body was interred next to hers.