So my heart has been broken and ripped apart.. Coding & Codeine is gone...

What remains

Better a cruel truth

Than a comfortable delusion

~ Edward Abbey

October 29, (Present day)

Lately, I've noticed how tired my little redhead had grown. He trudges around the house, cleaning this and that, making himself useful for Syo's arrival. He hasn't said that anything is concerning him. Although, even I am not so daft as to pretend I don't hear his cries in the night.

Also, it seems that for the time being, he has lost the will to sing. I once heard him humming. That soon stopped and was replaced with a muffled cry. There are times when I feel as if I ought to have concern for him, feel as if I care. But I can't bring myself to feel such compassion towards him.

After everything he doesn't trust me. Well, I guess I really don't need him to. He has one job. All he needs to focused on is my nii-san.

Speaking of nii-san, he is coming home today. My visit with him in the hospital concerned me. I knew quite well how much he he hated them, but never did I think he would deteriorate further while being there. Seeing this, I have obtained permission to bring him home.

So now the game will begin. I must hide Nagi, and find Ai. With Otoya the way he is, not much help in that state, I find the odds titling in my favor already.

Kaoru closed his second journal and turned in his chair to meet Otoya's tired eyes at the entrance of his door. Bags hung low under the redhead's eyes, making Kaoru smile. Red eyes darted around before finally resting on the small blonde.

"Otoya." He tried not to laugh. Most of the physical symptoms were there. "Shouldn't you be getting the house ready?"

Otoya stared at Kaoru. What he saw was that bloody haired boy, laying lifelessly. His eyes grew wide at the sight of a corpse talking to him. For a second he was terrified, petrified, he couldn't speak or move. But in a blink of an eye, everything was normal. Kaoru was dressed in his normal everyday clothes, not a speck of dirt on him.

"I-i-i... yes?" The redhead shook his head viscously, trying to dispell the image from his mind.

"Good." Kaoru titles his head. "The faster you clean, the sooner nii-san will come home."

Otoya turned hesitantly away. His eyes frantically searching this way and that for anything.

"Problem?" Kaoru practically purred in his ear. Getting up from his chair, he lightly treaded across the room to loop his arms around the redhead's neck.

"N-no, not at..." His voice trailed off. His body stiffened at the blonde's action, eyes growing wide. "...all."

"If you're sure, then I'll go pick up nii-san. Make sure his room his clean." Kaoru said removing his arms from the older teen.

"Y-yes. I need to make sure everything is clean."

The blonde smiled. Reaching his arm around to grab his blue jacket off the door next to Otoya, he could help but notice the other flinch. He pulled his arm back slowly, grinning at Otoya's insecurity. He had thought they were on better terms. Passing the other he waved.

"Good bye, Oto-chan..."

It steeped onto his head, his hands, through his shoes and clothing. It ran down the walls, cover the floor. Why was he back in this dream again? Didn't he have something he needed to do? He needed to see Syo again. He needed to get ready for his homecoming. But, yet, he he was. Lost in a dreamland filled with blood, with guilt... Why was he alive? Why did Kaoru spare him?

"Otoya." That voice... Was it Syo's or was it Kaoru's? But still it sent chills straight through his spine. He shivered in fear as he took a step forward.

"Syo? Kaoru?" He called out. Every move, every step, sent blood steeping through his shoes, not that he wasn't already drenched in the crimson.

Cringing at each sound, arms holding him tightly, he took another step. His eyes moving frantically, scanning each wall. It was the place. The one from his dream.

"Otoya, hurry." With ever one was calling to him did sound to far off. "Help me. Hurry."

"Syo-chan, is that you?" Otoya found himself walking faster. Almost running by the time he rounded the corner.

Skidding through the slush of blood and grim, he made his way back into that room, that square room. It didn't look any better than the last time he had seen it. But this time, Syo wasn't sitting in the corner petting his brother's head. No, this time he was standing in the middle of the room. He was as bloodied as Otoya, if not more.

"Otoya.." Syo glanced at him with murderous eyes. They no longer shown that blue that was as light as the sky. His mouth twitched up in a foreign smile.

"Syo-chan, what happened." Otoya asked frightfully.

Syo took a step towards the redhead. "I only did what I had too."

"Syo." His eyes skimmed the floor to find the limp body of Kaoru. How could Syo? Then again, how could he feel bad for the younger twin?

"And Otoya." Syo paused, getting right up in the other's face. "There will be blood."

Otoya shook his head wildly, letting his red locks fly right and left. He stood in Syo dust free room. There were no needles, no papers. It was almost as if that one time was all in his head. The bed was made, sheets folded neatly down. But for the life of him, Otoya couldn't remember doing anything to this room. He didn't even remember leaving Kaoru's room.

His fingers curled around his hair. "What's happening?"

Syo sat waiting for his brother in the room he loathed. His hands folded neatly in his lap. Kaoru had brought him his normal clothes days before. It had been so long since he had a Fedora. Since he's finger nail paint had not been only messy chips of ebony.

"Kurusu-kun, are you sure you're ready to go home?" A friendly nurse asked.

Syo nodded politely, not saying a word.

He hated faking sincerity to the nurses and doctors there. Couldn't they tell he wanted to be left alone with his thoughts? But still, ever since he was little, he had always be polite to them.

But now he just wanted to go home and get this game Kaoru had for him over with. And even though he loved his brother deeply, he knew... This game wouldn't be over until there was blood.

Sooo, yeah. I was upset while writing this, but my reviews really helped me feel better. So a big thanks to everybody who lifted up my spirits.

Starishadow- I feel I answered the first question, but as for the second... not really ghost, more like, figments of their imagination playing tricks on their nervous wreck of a mind. They are both so deep in denial that they think that the rest of starish is still there secretly guarding them.

Cyan Rubies- I'm sorry that you will never be able to read Coding & Codeine, but... at least this updated...

pinkyneko- I did miss you so much! And I don't mind if you want to be invisible... but it is nice to know you are reading it and enjoying.

Naeme- lol I did put a spell on this. Anyone who starts wants to finish it... just kidding. But thank you for the wonderful review. You aren't the first, and I harshly doubt you will be the last to tell me that you are not a big horror fan. I think what makes it enjoyable here is the lack of them... but I'm so glad, that even though I killed like your main ship, you came back. (And if you don't like what happened to Masa and Ren, don't read bleeding hearts)

Wow, it's been a while since I did that. I like answering reviews that way, imma do it again next chapter.

Disclaimer- I now own park of the underground... so I shall take over the top world to obtain UtaPri... in my dreams...