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Chapter Four
Heads turned as Myka and Helena walked into the restaurant arm in arm, not one patron was immune to the stunning sight of the two women together. HG spent a minute charming their server and then they were being shown to their table on the balcony. Their seats overlooked most of the other diners but afforded them some small measure of privacy from curious eyes.
They ordered a glass of wine each and began to peruse the menu, both famished after their long day out and thinking that their sandwiches had seemed like such a long time ago.
Helena chose quickly, having already seen the menu when booking their reservation online, preferring to observe her dining partner as Myka chewed her lip and seemed to agonise over two or three choices. She watched as the brunette's tongue appeared to wet said lip and felt her stomach drop. Memories of where that tongue had been assaulted her vision and she had to swallow hard to keep from drooling.
Myka became aware of her observer when she noticed the menu hanging limply from an elegant hand. She looked up to meet a desire blackened gaze and smiled shyly. She put her menu to one side, deciding that it didn't really matter what she ate so long as she got to spend her evening with Helena. "I take it that you've already decided?"
HG reached across the table and pulled Myka's hands into her own, her fingers tracing patterns over palms and wrists. "I know what I want, yes," she announced with a sultry stare.
Myka felt her stomach muscles contract and laughed nervously. She captured the inventor's wandering fingers and took a deep breath before daring to look at the raven-haired beauty again. "You must have had women swooning all over the place back in your day."
HG grinned. "Are you trying to tell me that you find me irresistible?" She deliberately avoided the question, not wanting this night to be about previous lovers.
"You know you are," Myka insisted, rolling her eyes.
The writer sat back slightly as their waiter came to take their orders and bring their wine. They thanked him and let him take their menus, neither waiting for him to completely move away before leaning towards the other again, hands meeting automatically in the middle of the table.
Helena thought back to Myka's comment and was struck again by the sense that it came from a place of insecurity. It confused and saddened her to no end when she tried to figure out how such a stunning woman could doubt her appeal. "I've been aware of the effect I have on others for a very long time and have used it to my advantage many times," she confessed. "I'm afraid I have not always been considerate of the feelings of others, as you can attest. I'm not proud of my actions." She noticed the involuntary twitch of the agent's eyebrow and chuckled. "Very well, I am not proud of ALL of my actions. Particularly in relation to you, my darling." She squeezed the brunette's hands and returned her smile. "So yes, I understand my... curb appeal."
They both laughed at that, knowing that Helena's recent house-hunting had given her a plethora of new phrases to slip into her everyday vernacular.
"What I don't understand," HG continued after a short pause to appreciate the sparkle behind her favourite shade of hazel-green. "Is how a woman as breathtaking as you could possibly doubt the effect she has on others... Specifically time-travelling Victorians."
Myka was struck dumb. Every day that she looked at the inventor when Helena wasn't yet aware of her presence, she wondered why the other woman was with her. She knew that time had been kind to her and that most of her youthful geekiness had given way to a more common appeal, and it didn't hurt that she kept in shape, but those teenage years had left scars that even she couldn't see; it would never be easy for her to accept that she was desirable.
"You love me," she said with increasing confidence. "Love is blind." She shrugged and offered Helena an apologetic half-smile.
HG shook her head incredulously. "I will make it my lifelong goal to convince you that you are radiance personified," she declared confidently. "You are my light in the dark, Myka, and I won't have you doubting yourself. I realise that I already indicated this back at the house, but I will say it again just to remind you; you are beautiful tonight. I am the luckiest woman in the world to be the one taking you home."
Myka blushed and whispered a heartfelt 'thank you'. They chatted about lighter things for several minutes and gave into the urge to check on Christina before their meals arrived. Pete sent them a picture message of Christina's head and Myka's bear sticking out of the furniture-fort they appeared to be in the middle of building and then they spent most of their meal after that discussing their little girl. Time flew by and eventually, only empty desert bowls and wine glasses sat between them.
"Helena, before I forget, I want to thank you for making it so effortless to be part of your family. It means the world to me that you're comfortable sharing the mom-role." Myka gazed deep into Helena's eyes and poured her soul out. "I... I love you both so much." She laughed and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy. How is it possible for us to be here... together?"
Helena opened her mouth, looked around for inspiration and then closed it again and shrugged. "Quite honestly darling, I don't care if we are both certifiably insane. Whether it's technically possible or not, we're here and I'm not going to be one to look a gift horse in the mouth. You've given me my life back and I intend to make the most of every moment with you. Christina adores you and you're a natural with her." The inventor watched Myka's eyes, feeling warm for putting that spark of happiness there again. "What do you think, darling? Are we ready to sally-forth?"
Myka chuckled at the question. "I assume that means are we ready to leave?"
"You assume correctly." Helena waved their server over and asked for the bill. She tipped well, already thinking ahead to possible future dates or anniversaries.
They waltzed out of the restaurant on a cloud, Myka's arm linked through Helena's, her hand resting on a toned bicep. The brunette took another look at the Victorian's outfit and chuckled to herself, drawing a curious look from her date.
"I was just thinking again about how strange my life has become. Good, but strange." She looked around the parking lot and recalled similar situations; walking with a date after a nice meal, wondering whether she would be waking up next to someone in the morning. "I never would have guessed I'd be part of a walking lesbian cliché."
Helena frowned and paused next to the driver's side of the car. "We are a lesbian cliché?" She asked as the agent moved closer.
Myka wrapped her arms around Helena's waist and pulled her into a slow kiss. She felt Helena's fingers in her hair and sighed in contentment. "As nice as dinner was, I like not having a table between us, so I can do this," she stepped forward and pushed the inventor against the car, sliding her hands further up her date's back and kissing her again, this time with more force.
HG felt her body melt right down to her bones. She felt a toned thigh pressing between her legs and whimpered at the contact. Their breathing came in short hot gasps between kisses until finally, Myka pulled back with a groan.
"Myka, I know the world has changed somewhat in the last hundred years, but I think there is still a fine line with public displays of affection." She smiled and indicated over the brunette's shoulder towards the street. "We are beginning to draw a crowd, love."
Embarrassment couldn't quite rid the agent of the haze of lust that clouded her brain, but it was enough to get her into the car, where she pulled the Victorian into another lengthy kiss before finally starting the engine.
Helena licked her lips as she watched Myka manoeuvre through traffic, she then checked her phone and smiled at another picture message from Pete. "You neglected to answer my question," she said after a comfortable silence.
Myka frowned for the few seconds that it took her to review their conversation. "Oh." She glanced at HG's outfit and gestured to the trousers and waistcoat. "It's stupid, but there's this idea that between lesbians, and I suppose gay men too, that one half of the couple must be more masculine than the other, I guess in order for the relationship to work. I'm not sure if it's based on the assumption that a butch woman must be a lesbian or if it just helps heterosexuals to see something that they think of as normal. Maybe both. It just came to me when I thought about what we're wearing tonight." She pulled to a halt at a stop light and glanced over at her passenger. "That wasn't a thing in your day?"
HG scoffed though still seeming to sound well mannered. "Darling, if such things were mentioned in public it was either to condemn them or to deny their existence. I must say that it's hardly surprising that such stereotypes have developed. I suspect that amongst female couples there was once a time when a public appearance required the pretence that one of them was male? It is heartening to witness opinions changing, though perhaps not as quickly as they should." She reached across the car and placed a hand on Myka's thigh. "Regardless, I wore this because I enjoy the way your eyes light up with interest when I do."
Myka swallowed hard and hit the gas a little harder than intended, nerves twitching wherever the heat from Helena's hand penetrated the fabric of her dress. "That's good to know. Though for the record... I would love to see you in a dress."
"I will keep that in mind," Helena chuckled and reluctantly removed her hand.
Myka pulled up outside Helena's house and smiled as her date shot out of the car before she'd even killed the engine. The Victorian faltered for a moment at the door as etiquette warred with her need to see her daughter. Myka caught up with her on the step and rubbed her hand over the inventor's arm.
"It's fine, Helena." She moved her hand to the inventor's cheek and kissed her briefly. "I'll say goodnight for you and see you upstairs in a few minutes."
"Thank you, love." HG opened the door and made immediately for the stairs, leaving her date to thank their guests. Myka found Pete and Lila chatting amicably, cuddled up slightly on the couch in the living room. She looked around, expecting to still see the details from their fort building. She narrowed her eyes at Pete before turning to Lila.
"How long did it take you to convince him to clear the fort away?"
Pete faked offence. "Hey!" He waited until his partners looked at him with her usual playful superiority. "It was a kick-ass fort. That kid's got a future in construction," he said in defence.
Myka laughed quietly and looked between her and the new woman in his life. "Thank you for tonight."
"How was dinner?" Lila enquired softly as she moved out into the hallway and began slipping her shoes on.
"Wonderful," Myka told her with a wistful look in her eyes. "I've never had a date that felt so... magical."
"Aww, Mykes." Pete pulled her into an unexpected hug. "You know I was gonna do the whole big bro thing and threaten to hunt her down if she ever hurt you, but I really don't think I have to... That and she scares the crap outta me." He pulled back to look her in the eye. "I get nothing but warm fuzzy vibes from you two these days."
Myka felt something inside loosen at her friend's statement. She had hopes for how this night would end but was still anxious about taking that last step to letting Helena back in again. "Really?"
Lila smiled and made a discrete exit, leaving the sudo-siblings to their bonding.
Myka looked so vulnerable as she uttered that one word that he had to hug her again. "She's the one, Myka. So go for it." He let her go again and waggled his eyebrows at her. "Go love your woman."
Myka aimed a punch at his shoulder, hitting nothing but air as he dodged out of the way. "Hey Pete!" She hissed as he danced mockingly down the path.
"What?"
"Nice hickey." She smirked as he slapped a hand against his neck and then tried to look at the spot he'd hit, appearing somewhat like a dog chasing its tail.
He made a shushing gesture as he rounded his car, grinning at Myka as he waved goodbye and got inside. Myka watched them pull away, closed and locked the door, turned off the downstairs lights and then took a deep breath as she began to ascend the stairs.
She resisted checking on Christina, knowing that Helena would have done so and not wanting to risk waking the girl. She paused with her hand on the master bedroom door. Leave the past in the past, Myka. You love her and she loves you. Don't over think it. She recalled the kiss in the car; the one in the parking lot; the heated embrace on her bed that morning and all of the other instances where Helena had made her feel like the only other person in existence; kisses that had left her shaky with need and hungering for another taste. She wanted this life with the Victorian, desperately, and needed to take a leap of faith.
With more confidence, Myka opened the door, stepped inside and then immediately stopped. Her mouth opened, closed and then turned up in a delighted smile as her eyes scanned the room for its other occupant. Sensing movement behind her, she turned to find her date observing her closely. Her smile grew at the expression of happy mischief that looked back at her and she felt her nerves wane a little more.
"When did you do all this?" She gestured to the dozen or so candles around the room and the rose petals on the bed.
Helena moved from her hiding place, pushing the door to, and reached out to draw Myka's hands into her own. "I placed the candles before we left earlier and I may have enlisted Pete's help in procuring the floral accompaniments."
Myka scanned the room again, wondering for a moment what Pete might have touched while he was in there and then quickly decided that she didn't care. "It's lovely."
HG moved a hair's breadth closer, her hands leaving Myka's to trail up lightly tanned arms. "It all pales in comparison to you my dear, but I wanted this night to be special for you." Her wandering hands slid around her girlfriend's waist and she pulled their bodies flush, smiling as the brunette's arms curled naturally around her shoulders. She knew that Myka had been struggling to deal with her feelings lately and understood the reasons for the inner conflict. She had been the cause after all. HG did not really want to bring it up when the other agent looked so at ease in this moment and their bodies were working up to something so much more desirable, but she sensed that it needed airing, for Myka's sake. She took a deep breath and squeezed the body in her arms in a gesture that was meant to convey comfort. "I know that I've hurt you, Myka. I know that my actions have damaged the trust that you once had in me," she began to explain.
"I trust you, Helena," the curly haired agent insisted, interrupting what she thought might be a criticism of her inability to let go of the past.
HG looked into her eyes with understanding and sympathy, already sensing that the woman in front of her was assuming the blame. Still, she pushed on. "With your heart?"
Myka opened her mouth to respond in the affirmative then quickly snapped it shut. She closed her eyes for a moment and by the time she opened them again, there were tears forming. "I want to. God Helena, I really want to." Her voice began to crack with the weight of emotion that tore at her from inside and she let her head hang in shame. How could she love the Brit and still not completely trust her? And how had she gone from being happy and prepared a moment ago to being on the edge of crying? Where was the rewind button?
Helena bit back the anger she felt towards herself. Even after being supposedly reformed and no longer under suspicion by the regents, she had still managed to hurt the woman who, deep down, she had known she was in love with. Being angry would only give Myka reason to blame herself even more though and that was the last thing she wanted. Patience and understanding were the only things that would help her girlfriend through this conversation.
She placed her hand under Myka's chin and tilted her head up until she could place a tender kiss on her downturned mouth. "I know you do and someday darling, you will. I will do everything in my power to earn that trust. A wise woman recently told me that, as long as we have time and each other, we have everything we need." She was relieved to see Myka's forlorn expression ease into a shy smile.
"A wise woman, huh?" The American asked, trying to break the tension.
"Very wise," Helena confirmed and used her thumb to wipe away the one tear that had broken its barrier. "And infinitely warm, loving, brave and compassionate." HG grinned, pleased with the flush that suffused her date's features. "With beauty to rival Aphrodite."
"Helena," Myka mumbled in protest, feeling her blush travel further than ever, to the roots of her hair.
"Modest too," HG added, enjoying herself. Complimenting Myka was one of her favourite things.
Myka looked into pools of dark chocolate and saw the sincerity there. She sighed and relented, knowing that nothing she could say would change the other woman's mind. Upon this realisation, a smile began to reappear on her face. "Thank you," she accepted demurely. "You are all of those things too... and more."
"Hmm," the inventor stole another kiss and grinned. "And more? You will have to show me that list; I would be very interested in reading it."
Myka raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "In that case I believe we should amend it; you are far from modest." She felt the inventor's hands begin to travel again and welcomed the return of the delicious tingles that followed in their wake.
HG's lips painted a series of kisses along her date's jaw. She paused under a delicate ear and whispered, "Only because I know that you love me that way."
Myka groaned and closed her eyes. Her arms were still encompassing HG's shoulders and her hands searched for purchase as she felt her knees weaken. She may not yet trust that her girlfriend wouldn't break her heart again, but she believed Helena when she said that she would earn that trust, and right now, that was all that mattered.
Knowing that standing would not be an option soon, the brunette wound her fingers into soft as silk hair and pulled HG's mouth up to her own, kissing her hard. Tongues met, tasted and explored, retreating a dozen times only to return with fevered passion to begin again. Only when short gasps between kisses were not enough and Myka began to feel light headed, did she pull back and rest her forehead against her date's.
"Helena," she whispered hoarsely. "Take me to bed."
The inventor swallowed around her own ragged breaths as hands that had come to rest on a slim waist reached for the zipper to Myka's dress. "With pleasure, love," she answered before giving into temptation and leaning back in for another languid kiss.