*All character/TVD rights go to narrow-minded people (Julie Plec & Co.) and the lovely L.J. Smith; except Stella she's all mine. Yep, all me for real (drake voice lol)*

A/N: 100+ reviews! Thank you guys so much for your support. Questionable language and behavior ahead that will hopefully lead to a beautiful ending...or not lol EnjoyJ

P.S. I only updated because none of my favorite stories have *cry face* Now enjoy lol

"Fight Night Confessionals.."

"Fuck!" he griped delivering the same fate to the antique dresser drawer that Bonnie dispensed to their cherry wood door.

Damon's horrible "foot in mouth syndrome" was one of the things that refused to die; so when he resurrected that fateful day it resurrected with him. Reaching Bonnie before she made it a good foot away from the door he grabs her elbow and is shocked by the punch that rocks his jaw. He doesn't have to see the beginning of the bruise to know its there. Feeling it is proof enough. Unlike him however she isn't surprised when her back is pressed against the cool fawn wall of the hallway with the hand previously on her elbow around her neck squeezing. Not for dear life, but squeezing nevertheless.

The heat from her body isn't the only way he knows she's pissed. He can swear he sees the faintest of fogs streaming from her nostrils. Her breasts are heaving up and down in coordination with her angry breaths; and the feel of them on his wrist through her navy Polo v-neck makes him apply just a bit more pressure to temper the monster inside.

They're both feeding off any tension they can to stay in this moment, to sustain these feels because if they stay entrenched in the psyche any longer then they very well may implode. In each other or on each other is still to be determined. Having had enough of this emotional purgatory she breaks the stint with a guttural voice.

"Get your hands off of me." she blurts in disdain. "Now." its an order. One of few he won't follow.

She's seething and he loves the smell of brimstone exuding from her pores, and the realization that soon he may not have the luxury brings fire back to his eyes. Followed by venom to his voice. Olive green spheres are narrowed and judgy only serving to spur him on.

"And if I don't?" his tone is innocent enough, but she knows better. There's nothing innocent about Damon Salvatore. His voice is chilling and she urges the treacherous muscle in her chest not to quiver as his face nears hers.

His brow is still raised, jabs are still tumbling out of his mouth. "What are you gonna do?" he curls his lip in disgust. "Glare me to death? You're not a witch anymore." it's a matter-of-fact he states and the low blow is enough for her to through the gloves off.

But before she can get the quip off the tip of her tongue its abducted into his duplicitous mouth, sucking the air out of her while simultaneously infecting her with its poison. Its also at this moment where she understands what the singer Pink was on about— he's just like a pill, instead of making her better he makes her ill.

Elena is brushing the slight curl out of her hair as Bev goes on and on about trivial matters she can't fake to care about. She really wants to tell her that Taylor Thomas is only sniffing around her because he wants her help with Chem. next semester, but she's not one to bust anyone's bubble. So, being the dutiful friend she's attempting to be she nods in the appropriate places and "hmms" at the appropriate times; but her mind is regrettably on the Salvatore that greeted her earlier and the conversation that ensued. She didn't like how things ended, messiness aside they'd always managed to remain friends. She only hoped she hadn't inadvertently screwed that up.

Again.

Oddly she doesn't hear the knocking of the door until Bev unlocks it and the familiar scents of cinnamon and warm apple pie charge her nostrils and the smell is delectable and tender.

The smell is home.

She's up and on her feet faster than humanly possible and if her roommate notices she doesn't say. And honestly Elena doesn't care as she connects to Bev's side holding tightly to the open door. Tightly to the ghost of a beating heart.

"Stefan?" her voice is nasal and full of hard rasp, and the question is dumb for just like he can sense her, she can sense him. "Stefan." she can't help but say again her eyes still searching for a mistake that isn't there. "What are you doing here?" Suddenly she feels shy and unsure under his simple scrutiny, but his blue green gaze doesn't temper; only smolders her more.

There's a goofy grin on sweet Beverly's face; it's like she's watching The Notebook or The Vow. Though she doesn't know much about Stelena and their history, she knows the yearning and ache of a story incomplete. She's trapped between two ex-lovers and as much as she wants to excuse herself; that galling meddlesome bone won't let her move.

Her question ping-pong's inside of his scattered mind and he's asking himself why is he here. Is it out of habit? Why did he get in his car and drive to the one person who could make him feel on top of the world; or lower then hell. His eyes roamed to the perky woman in between them and her glowing green eyes. Strangely, it always seems like someone is between them. He shouldn't have expected this time to be any different.

Elena catches the conflict in his eyes and knows he's seconds away from darting. She reaches his hand a nanosecond before he steps off, tugging him into the suite. Her burnt umber eyes flash to the lone member of their audience who continues to enjoy the show. "Can you give us a minute?"

Bev eyes are downcast now hating the fact she has to vacate her room again for the many suitors of Elena Gilbert. The least the girl could do is let her get some entertainment in this boring ass town. She balks at her thoughts and closes the door. Where the hell did that come from? Massaging her temple she takes a deep breath swallowing the anxiety pill she'd been holding since the knock. She'd been feeling unlike herself for the past month, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. She see's a figure from the corner of her eye and her heart flutters at the sight. Of their own accord her feet travel to the debonair man with the onyx eyes. Her previous thoughts all but remembered.

Anger filled kisses turn feverish with the pop of her Levi's. He's tugging at her painted on jeans while his teeth tug on her already puffed lips. His hand is still circling her slender neck merely to pull her infinitesimally closer. The growl he releases is at the feel of her balmy hands smoothing against his naked shoulders and continuing yonder, but its not enough so he presses himself further. He wants her to feel the apology that his pesky pride won't let him say.

"I'm an ass." he pants his wrong. "But you knew that."

Bonnie mewls at the touch of his member teetering on the small gap of flesh peeking from her sweater. The cocky bastard is invading her and she does nothing to stop it. This is wrong. She knows it, but to fight against Damon is to fight against herself and it hurts. To be mad at him physically hurts and she needs the cooling balm if only for a minute so she lets it go on. She lets him chip away small increments of the surface anger just until its bearable just until…

"I don't get why you were so mad anyways." he blows off in the midst of blowing her kisses. "Me seeing her isn't a big deal."

The fury is back and she can hardly contain her wrath at the dismissal of his actions; of her feelings. She doesn't know where the strength came from, but after her push he's on the other side of the hallway looking at her with wide tangled eyes.

He inadvertently lit the fuse and she's set to explode. "No big deal?" he doesn't know if it's a question or statement. He does know its not funny despite the fact she is indeed laughing. His Adam's apple bobs as his palms stay pressed against the wall he's been thrown against.

"Maybe I'm pissed." another chortle. "Maybe I'm mad as hell because after confessing your love for me you jumped into bed with her the first chance you got." she sneers. "So excuse the fuck out of me for being pressed boo, although I have more than enough reason to be."

His face is bathed in incredulousness and he wastes no time in tossing her with cold water. "Is this a sudden case of selective memory, Cruella or are you really that dense?" he snarls stalking her. "That's neither here nor there." he shoos under the guise of dispassion. "But to refresh that incompetent memory of yours I'll say that you beat my ass from here to Timbuktu and cut me out of your life for months after me saying that!"

"So really Bon-Bon." he drawls. "You tell me who's the real bad guy here?" he smiles wickedly nearly nose to nose from her.

"Still doesn't change the fact you've slept with her before." she pushes refusing to budge.

"And you slept with Baby Gilbert to get back at me!" he fumes. "Knowing how I felt about you!"

"Hardly!" she snorts in mortification. "I've never crossed that line with him. Ever."

"Liar!" he growls so fiercely that she's almost afraid to breathe. "I smelled him on you that day I came to your house." Her face is beet red and she doesn't need to ask which day because she already knows. "Did you really think I didn't know?"

She can envision the two of them out on her front porch like it was yesterday.

She felt him way before she saw him and despite her attempt to run into the house he'd caught her. Hard pressed her to the front door and she experienced her life flash before her eyes, because she knew he could smell it. Smell him on her and the fact that she didn't go through with it would mean nothing in his eyes; because she attempted to. Even now she wished she had just to get back at him for what he did. For what he made her feel.

His arms pinched her delicate shoulders and she's waiting for the rip of flesh that she expects to pierce her neck but it never comes. Peeling her eyes open she wants to close them back on account of how he's looking at her. So open, so in love and she hates him. She breathes a little more easy at the fact that maybe he doesn't know therefore her guard rebuilds.

"You shouldn't be here." she said with an edge twisting her wrist behind her trying to open the door.

Of course he caught her pending the limb behind her back. "I've decided that its my turn to drive this train wreck and what you say doesn't matter. I'm tired of all the fucking mind games Bonnie. I'm done with this dumb ass tug of war. You care about me I know you do and no amount of eyes rolls is gonna make that sordid little detail go away honey." he smirked releasing her arm. "I say embrace it, you've already embraced everything else."

The innuendo was clear but she wouldn't back down. Tears rolled down her eyes like angry waves causing her to barely contain her composure. "I can't love you, Damon and I don't want to." she added on a whisper.

His smirk faltered but still remained. He was used to this from her but her mouth told a story her body never reciprocated. "Not the worst I've heard." he shrugged. "But things change and I love you enou— "

"Stop it!" she shrieked as he froze. "You don't even know what love is let alone how to apply it."

Damon stared at her pensively in displeasure. "Ouch, Bon-Bon right in the feels."

She was pacing now almost manically the length of the porch. Almost as if she was having a conversation all by herself and he just happened to be there. "Your version of love is sick, twisted, and obsessive. Your love hurts Damon." she stopped to bore into him with her tear-stricken eyes. "It hurts to the point of desolation and loss and as much as I may want you I don't want that." she finished shaking her head furiously. "I don't want the kind of love you have for Katherine and Elena, I'm different and I want to be loved in a special way and you cant give me that right now."

He stared at her accusingly. Or maybe speechless is more of the word, because as much as he anted to refute the things she said he couldn't. Especially since not too long ago he'd been dipping in the Elena pool to get back at her for her rejection and all out disgust for him. That's when he finally caught the whiff. The whiff of that cowardly, man child on his Bonnie; he could feel the roar of anger building in his chest.

"Goodbye Damon." she murmured with a slam of the door.

He stood at her door seconds away from beating it down, demanding a recall, and explanation for that pest on her but just as his hand lifted to give it a rapt he paused. Her words on a loop in his dismantling mind: "I'm different and I want to be loved in a special way and you can't give me that right now." His mouth twitched into a smirk.

Those last two words were all he needed. There was hope for them yet.

"I've never slept with Jeremy." she contends jutting out her chin. "Yes I was mad and hurt that you slept with Elena, and I wanted to hurt you okay. So when I walked in on you guys at the boardinghouse I was furious and I went to the one person you couldn't stand. And he was too happy to comply but when it came down to it I couldn't do it." she sniffed. "You caught me right after I ran from there."

Damon's eyes never leave hers, but she can tell that his focus is elsewhere. He's waiting for a palpitation to verdict a lie and when there is none he steps away. As much as he doesn't want to he understands her rash action. After all he's the king of these types of things.

The air is charged with equal spurts of awkward and anticipation. A combination that they should be used to by now, but even after close to a year of separation the very fact that Stefan and Elena can't communicate without tension seems downright criminal. Two beings that completed each other, gave the other the will to live, and the boost to grow can barely keep eye contact over a mug of blood. They're either looking at each other too long or not enough and even though they both hate it neither one of them express the sentiment.

"I shouldn't have come here." his voice is laced with uncertainty with scrunched eyebrows to match.

He's looking her way, but not at her— more like through her. His back is arched and clasped hands comfort his knees. Its nothing out of the ordinary, but the sight of familiarity warms Elena's heart that bit more. It reminds her that no matter how she changes or how many years past he remains the same. Stefan Salvatore doesn't change and that small revelation soothes her more than it should, but this is Stefan and they'll forever be connected. His being here proves that.

Finding her voice she scoots up coaxing his lost eyes to meet hers and when they find them she smiles reassuringly. He doesn't gasp but he wants too, he hates that she can still affect him in such a way. Sometimes he feels like he still hates her.

"Maybe you shouldn't have." she agrees on a shrug. "But if you hadn't came here I'd eventually had come to you. So thank you for saving me the trip."

The corner of his lip curls hinting at a smile. What she says is probably true that nostalgia is thee motherfucker. This visit isn't as bad as the one a couple months ago, but pain and bitterness still resonate through as deep as the blood they're drinking. She's still amazed that his bloodlust is tamed. She's still amazed that she had nothing to do with it.

"Do you ever wish you could go back." he says thoughtfully licking residue from pale pink lips. "Do you ever wish you'd taken the cure." he says the word like it physically hurts and she wouldn't be surprised if it did.

"All the time." Her answer is quick and direct; it surprises him and her as shown in their enlarge orbs.

He expected her to say no after a moment of contemplation because she doesn't like to admit she's wrong. She likes to live under the guise that she sticks with her choices. That she's not like her devious ancestor, though depending how you look at things she could be considered worse. Her gaze is sure and even though she doesn't need to breathe she let out a relieved breath. It feels good after all these years to admit the truth. Admit that she made a mistake in giving the cure to Jeremy to heal his hunter-ism. Admit that she was never meant to be a vampire.

She exhales again feeling another weight lift off her shoulders, if only she could get out the rest of the things in her mind and on her chest. She may be able to uncover that bright young girl who fell into darkness so long ago.

"I did what I thought was right because I was tired of everyone dying for me. If I took the cure it was back to having to be chaperoned and siphoned for blood. It was back to being inept and I hated the thought. As a vampire I can protect myself and as good as it feels it doesn't change what I gave up." he doesn't miss the depth in her eyes as she says this.

She's speaking to him through them and she's saying so many things that they're jumbled in his mind, yet he understands with so much clarity that he fights the impulse to grab his heart. He feels like he's been punched in the chest, because what she said nearly changes everything. Nearly. Because admitting her feelings were due to the sire-bond does nothing to change their situation. She's still a vampire and so is Damon meaning the statement is pretty much null and void.

"And more than that I'll never be able to have children or grow old. I'll have to watch Jere grow old and die. I'll be alone." her voice croaks and his heart longs to hold her, but they're so filled with emotion he knows it'll be the wrong thing to do.

"You'll have Caroline." he reminds with a small smile thinking of one of his best friends. "You'll have me… and Damon." he hesitates.

"I doubt that." she says with a watery smile and the thought doesn't hurt as much because he's here. "I'm wise enough to know when a ship sails without me. I'm sorry Stefan." she says in that compassionate voice that takes him back to the days he used to sneak into her window. "So sorry."

He can almost feel her soft hands caressing his face and when his eyes open he realizes its because they are. She's sitting on the coffee table right before him with earnest eyes and doubly earnest lips. He doesn't even try to block her and he's sure the remorse will appear later on but he simply doesn't care. She's on his lap as the temperature in the room continues to spike. He wants to forget all the bad if only for the moment. He wants to forget his love for Bonnie and his stubborn love for Elena. He wants to be Stefan of '09 and he is.

Until the faint aroma of his brother broke the spell. Gently pulling away he licked his lips. "I think I should go."

Eyeing him wearily Elena eased off his lap tracking his movements to the door. Once out in the safe confines of the hallway he gave her a coy smile. "I, uh, thanks for not kicking me out." he spoke good-naturedly.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, Stefan." she refuted placing her curtain of hair over one shoulder.

He grants her a curt nod and a slight smile and like the wind he's gone. She closes the door bracing her back into it, mind whirling. She's barely had a chance to sulk before a knock comes to the door again. Thinking it Bev she swings the door open only to be rushed against the nearest wall in an Earth shattering kiss from Stefan. If she had breath it would have been taken away; hands became invisible breaking barriers restricted by clothes and underwear.

She was on a hard surface but it wasn't the less than stellar cotton mattress on her full sized bed. It was the wooded table and just when she moves to object his tongue is doing interesting things with her navel and he's going lower. Slopping kisses until he gets to the pot of gold that's been neglected for far too long.

Stefan's on a mission. He's on a journey to the end of the Earth and has decided to take Elena along for the ride. She's the last person he'd been with so it's only fitting that she's the person to break his self-induced celibacy. He can't go there with Bonnie so he'll go there with Elena. He admonishes himself for the thought and swallows the guilt with Elena's rain.

She flips there positions and is on his hard before he can object. The groan at the shock waves pulsating within them and when she feels its safe she's rocking steady and he's holding on for dear life.

Hold on to that, Stefan

Several years later and he hasn't stopped.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." she hisses jogging down the stairs trying to get away from him, but he just refuses to stay out of her face.

She turns the corner from the last step and nearly screams in frustration because he's blocking her again methane eyes scorching her sun-kissed skin to sweltering temperatures. "The hell you're not. We promised our daughter a trip and your Judgey ass will be in that passenger seat if I have to glue it there myself."

Her eyes are laser beams but he can't find a fuck to give, except the one he barely gave her upstairs, but he digresses. He knows it's a low blow to use Stella, but he needs her to come on this trip. And if he has to shoot her up with witch hazel he will.

Bonnie's nostrils are flared and there isn't a place on her that isn't red with rage. Her eyes are focused on his stupidly perfect face trying to ignore the fact that the jackass is still sans clothes. She should give kudos at the fact he at least grabbed the towel…but she won't.

"Really Damon? You're gonna use our child to blackmail me into doing something you want to do?" shaking her head she chuckles mirthlessly. "Why am I not surprised? You man child."

"Quite clever of me right?" he jests elbowing her side garnering himself another look of antipathy.

Her nose curls up and he prepares himself for the words he's been waiting for her to say all night. The words that will effectively conclude this round of arguments. This could all be over with those little words…

"You know, Damon I really— "

"Hate me?" he says cockily meeting her eyes as she remains stoic on the last step. "Yeah tell me something I don't know, Toots."

Her arms raise up with her disappointment and she's annoyed that even now he still doesn't get it. He still doesn't grasp the error in his ways. "No, Damon I don't hate you. Even though I'm pretty sure I've surpassed my highest level of pissivity I still love you more than anything."

His heart beats slowly at her admission and hot lava is coating his insides. This wasn't what he expected, Bonnie has thrown a wrench in his plans. She's changed the routine and he doesn't have the right words to catch up. He lets her step around him and when she's midway past the banister she pauses only turning her head halfway.

"I'll go on this road trip with you Damon." his sigh of relief is premature. "For Stella." and she might as well had uttered "For Elena" because he's pretty sure they're back at square one. If only temporarily. "But you better not say a word to me; or I'll cut your tongue out myself."

Her hair moves with the turning of her head and he's enraptured how it always manages to flow right back into place. "Now go put on some clothes." this time the front door slams shut.

The haze of old love and new lust is over and now both are more confused then they were the moment he showed up on her doorstep like a lost puppy. Out of all the years, all the breakups and makeup's Stefan and Elena never dallied in casual sex with each other. Knowing long ago that their coupling meant more than that, because when feelings are involved it always does. Oddly enough the air is filled with the coolness of calm as they pull themselves together trading inconspicuous glances.

The walk to the door is quiet and when their eyes happen to meet they turn away hiding shy smiles. This is about as spontaneous as it gets when it comes to them and the rush is amazing. So amazing that she's already thinking about a next time.

"Are you, uh, staying for Thanksgiving?" Stefan asks suddenly rubbing the back of his neck.

Elena's eyes give way to her burgeoning smile ahead of her mouth. "If I have somewhere to go than yes." she nods once.

His own lip quirks and his eyes shine. " Caroline is preparing a "Friendsgiving at the boarding house so I think you do." and with that he's off and she doesn't close the door until his body is no longer in sight.

She stands against the door much like she did earlier except her heart is filled with hope and not trepidation. Its dé·jà vu all over again when another knock sounds against the thin door and she can't help the smile on her face more than ready for a replay only when she pulls the door it isn't Stefan on the other side but..

"Bonnie." she gapes like she's seen a ghost.

The petite brunette has her hand on her hip while the other clutches her car keys. Tightly. Forgoing pleasantries she gets straight to the point, because if its one thing about Bonnie its that she's strictly business. "I think its about time we had a talk." she states simply inviting herself in.

This chapter is kind of short because I feel like a lot happened in it, and I like cliff hangers lol. Next chap its a Bonlena exchanging of words, bamon road trip, and friendsgiving thanks for reading after 84 years lol you guys are the best xoxox