Sorry, sorry, sorry, my computer died and I am having to reconstruct everything from what I wrote on paper and memory. I'm working hard to get it all back together. I hope this chapter is okay, I usually proofread things several times but truncated the editorial process because I know it has been too long between posts.

All characters and the Buffyverse are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Chapter 9 Willow Talk

They lay there, exhausted and sated, at least for now. He was on his back, one arm around her, his fingers lightly running up and down her arm. Her head was on his chest and she half-covered him. His cool body feeling wonderful against her burning flesh.

She admired his sculpted torso as her fingers slowly traced the muscles. His body was flawless and his skin unbroken, not a mark to show his past battles. At that thought she shifted, turning her head to look up at him, bringing her arm up to rest her chin on it. She looked at him puzzled.

"Something wrong pet?" he asked looking down at her.

She brought her other hand up to trace the scar on his eyebrow. "How did you get this?"

"That? It's my Slayer's mark." He said, his voice filled with pride.

"What's a Slayer's mark?" She had never heard of such a thing, and being the slayer you would think she would have.

"I got it fighting my first slayer." He provided by way of explanation.

"But that was over 100 years ago. Why didn't it heal?"

"Cause it's my Slayer's mark." He reiterated as if it should be obvious. At her blank look he explained. "Sometimes when a vampire and a slayer fight a wound doesn't fade, it leaves a scar." His finger traced the Master's bite mark. "Works the other way too. Didn't you ever wonder why this never healed?"

"I just figured it was because I died." Her fingers joined his at the scar and intertwined. "What causes it?"

"Not sure. Some think it only happens when one is destined to kill the other. Others think a sacred weapon has to be involved. But that doesn't explain the bite scar. I think the first one makes more sense, although since so few vampires survive a fight with a slayer without killing her it might just be something that always happens when fighting a slayer."

"Did I leave a mark on you?" she asked, her eyes scanning his body.

"Nope, although we'll have to see about the ear." He smiled, she slapped his chest lightly. "But other than that you never broke the skin. That slayer in China had a sword. Another inch and she would have taken my eye."

"Maybe neither of us is destined to kill the other." she said a little bit of hope creeping into her voice.

"Might be." That upset him, and he tried to tell himself that it was because he wanted to be the one to kill her. But he knew that was a lie. He didn't want anyone to kill her, at least not now. The thought of her dead was like an icy hand twisting his guts.

"I wonder why I've never heard of Slayer's marks before. I'll have to ask Giles about it." That reminded her of her earlier conversation with her watcher. "I talked to Giles today about you."

He looked surprised, "You told him about us?"

"God no. But I realized I hadn't told him about us teaming up against Angel. He told me that you twice stopped Angel from killing him. Thank you." She said sincerely and stretched up to kiss him lightly.

He tried to shrug off what he did, but he stroked her cheek with the back of a finger. "Said I would didn't I? Though I was really doing it to protect Dru."

"I know, but you had to have known that in the confusion of the fight you two could have probably slipped away even if he had died."

"Couldn't take the chance on losing Dru. Though fat lot of good that did me." But he found that the hurt of Dru leaving him had faded. Sure his pride was hurt, but he wasn't in a hurry to go looking for her.

"Oh, I don't know." she began, laying her head back down on his chest. "I can pretty much guarantee that we wouldn't be here like this if he hadn't lived. I'd've probably hunted you down."

He stroked her hair. "Then I guess it worked out pretty well after all."

They spent hours drifting between sleep and love-making. The urgency and primality replaced by a tender playfulness as they explored each other, finding the little spots that fed the fire.

Buffy was just teasing him awake by kissing along his collarbone when a thumping on the front door made them both jump. Willow's frenzied voice floated up to them. "Buffy! Are you there?" she yelled, then pounded on the door several more times. "Buffy, I need to talk to you please!"

Buffy jumped up and threw her robe on. "Stay here!" she whispered urgently to Spike. He just nodded and stretched, the sight of which would have pulled her back to the bed if it weren't for the incessant knocking coming from below.

Smoothing her hair, she hurried down the stairs. She worried at the frantic tone in her friend's voice. She realized that she had no real idea of what time it was except that she could tell it was daytime from the narrow window by the door. Buffy pulled open the door and had to dodge Willow's fist as she went to pound on the door again.

"Will, what's the matter?" Buffy asked as she pulled her inside. The girl looked a wreck. Judging by the dark circles under her eyes she hadn't slept and she was skittishly moving from foot to foot like a little kid who had to go potty. Closing the door quickly, Buffy put her arm across Willow's shoulders and steered her toward the couch.

"Buffy...I...er...It..."Willow stammered as she wrung her hands together. She sat briefly when they reached the couch but popped up and started pacing as soon as she looked at Buffy.

"Will, what is it?" Buffy asked again, beginning to get freaked out by her frantic state. "Has someone been hurt?" Maybe a more direct line of questioning would help.

"No, no." Willow said quickly. "At least I don't think so..." then went back to opening her mouth to speak, only to close it again.

"Okay, has there been an attack?" Twenty questions was not a way to find out about a crisis.

Willow shook her head, but words still did not flow from her open mouth, she paced faster.

"Did you see something?"

"See?" she stopped in her pacing.

Buffy latched onto that. "What did you see?"

"I didn't mean to see it. I wasn't snooping. You know me, no snooping except scooby snooping." She wouldn't keep eye contact. "But it was there and... well...I didn't know what it was...I couldn't have known, I mean who could? I mean, I never would have guessed it was what it was. But I did see it and I tried to pretend I didn't, but you can't unsee something you know? Especially something like that. Although maybe it wasn't what I thought it was. I mean, I might be misinterpreting it. It might not mean what I think it means, but I spent all night trying to get it to mean something other than what I think it means but what else could it mean? You know what I mean?" The redhead looked at Buffy nervously, but she had stopped pacing.

"Not a clue." Buffy stood and took Willow by both hands, pulling her back down on the couch. "Okay, you saw something that gave you a wiggins, but you're not sure what you saw means what you think it means. Is that it?"

Her friend nodded.

Buffy sighed, well that's some progress. "Okay, let's take this slow. Where were you when you saw it?"

"In my room."

That surprised Buffy, what could possibly be in Willow's room that could freak her out like this? "What were you doing?"

"I was looking through that art history book I borrowed..."she had again dropped her eyes.

"Was it something in the book? I know some of that art can be pretty disturbing."

"It was in the book, but not part of the book, not art."

"Will, I'm lost here, help me so I can help you."

"Like I said I didn't mean to snoop. And I might be making mountains when there are only mole hills. I mean I hope it's just a mole hill, a little, furry, creepy, blind mole wouldn't be so bad right now."

"Tell me what you saw." Buffy asked exasperated.

Willow slowly reached into the front pocket of her red overalls and pulled out a folded piece of paper. It looked old like it had been unfolded and refolded a hundred times. The edges were tattered and crinkled. "It fell out of the book." She handed it to Buffy with shaky hands.

Buffy took the paper, what could possibly be on this worn old page that had gotten her friend in such a tizzy. But as she unfolded it she felt the color drain from her face. It was the note Spike slid under her door. Willow must have worried over it all night, wearing it out.

"Buffy? Why are you getting notes from Spike?" Willow asked softly.

"I...we...Spike..." she stammered.

"Buffy, you and Spike aren't... are you?" she was too embarrassed to say what she suspected.

"Will..." she started, torn between lying to her best friend or telling her the truth and freaking her out all the more.

Spike swaggering through the open french doors took that decision away from her. "Looks like the jig's up pet." Buffy glanced over at him and groaned at the situation. Although she was relieved he had bothered to put pants on, apparently a shirt was too much to hope for.

"Spike!" Willow yelled and jumped up from the couch, backing up into the corner by the fireplace.

"Relax Red." Spike said as he plopped into the armchair. "I'm not feeling peckish right now. Although I'd kill for a smoke. Where'd I leave my jacket?" He looked around.

"You can't smoke in here, Mom would kill you." Buffy said

"After last night, I don't think that's why she'd kill me." He said with a wink.

Buffy's cheeks flooded with color. "You're really not helping Spike." She turned back to her friend who had watched the entire exchange from her refuge on the hearth with horror. "Willow, he won't hurt you, come on, sit down." she patted the couch beside her.

"Buffy, how...I mean...after what happened with Angel..." Willow looked hurt and scared and didn't move.

"Don't compare me to that wanker!" Spike said vehemently and Willow shrank back further into the corner.

"Spike! Can you give us a minute? Alone." Buffy asked pointedly.

"Fine." he stood. "You ladies fancy a cuppa?"

"Cuppa?" Buffy asked confused.

"A cup of tea." Spike clarified. "You lot shouldn't call it english if you're not going to speak it proper."

"Fine, yes, a cup of tea would be great." she agreed. He headed to the kitchen and she shouted after him, "And put your shirt on!"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get your knickers in a twist." he said as he headed towards the kitchen, then under his breath, but just loud enough to be heard, "Not that you're wearing any."

"Oh god." Willow moaned, all color was gone from her.

"Will, sit, before you faint." Buffy didn't stand for fear of her friend recoiling from her.

"O...okay." She slowly moved back to the couch although she looked ready to bolt at the slightest provocation. "So it's true." she said softly.

"Yeah, it's true. I'm sorry Will, I didn't want you to find out like this." or at all, she added silently to herself.

"But what if after... after you know..."she whispered the innuendo. "he goes all evil?"

"I am evil." Spike said adamantly from the doorway.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled, "I said alone."

"I just put the kettle on and was heading up to get my shirt. Just had to set the record straight."

Buffy shot daggers at him from her eyes.

"I'm going." he said and headed up the stairs.

When she turned back to Willow, the redhead was looking down, but her eyes were darting side-to-side and her mouth was hanging open. She looked like she was in shock.

"Will," Buffy took her hands. "Look at me. Take a deep breath." she ordered and inhaled deeply to demonstrate.

Willow followed instructions and after several breaths seemed a little calmer.

"Better?" Buffy asked.

"I...I think so." Willow responded. Her eyes went to the doorway before she asked softly. "Is he really still evil?"

"Yeah, I am." Came his voice from the kitchen.

Buffy just rolled her eyes, but squeezed Willow's hands. "He's still the same Spike."

"Then how can you trust him?"

"He's kept some really big promises and he had the chance to kill me and didn't." She shrugged.

"But how did you even...When did you get together?"

Buffy quickly recounted their alliance against Angel then added, "I ran into him in LA and he... really helped me again. In return I told him he could come here to look for Dru as long as he didn't hurt anyone and one thing led to another." she waited for Willow to speak, but the girl just sat there blankly.

"Say something Will." Buffy urged.

"I'm sorry Buffy. It's just that this is harder to wrap my head around than Xander and Cordelia." She chuckled half-heartedly. "It's up there with string theory."

Buffy laughed, "Oh yeah. If someone had told me six months ago that I'd be seeing Spike..."

"I can hear you, you know." He came in carrying a tray with the teapot and cups, which he placed on the coffee table. Willow shifted back slightly.

"Oh? And if someone had told you that what would you have thought?" she asked defensively.

He thought about it a moment then said, "All right, fair point." He picked up the teapot. "Shall I be mother?" he asked formally.

The two girls stared blankly at him, his jaw flexed in annoyance. "Should I pour?" he clarified, but they continued to stare.

"What?" he asked.

"Your accent changed, you just sounded more like Giles." Buffy said.

He looked sheepish for a second then blustered in his usual accent. "Just putting on airs for the tea is all." He poured himself a cup and sat back down, clearly sulking. "But suit yourself."

Buffy poured tea for herself and Willow, handing her the cup. She took it with shaky hands, but less shaky than a few minutes ago.

They drank their tea in silence, the clinking of cups on saucers the only sound. Buffy looked back and forth between Willow and Spike. Willow would look away but Spike would meet her eyes and give her a slight smile. She almost jumped out of her skin when Willow spoke.

"So Spike." She tried to say with some strength, but her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and started again. "If you're here looking for Drusilla, what happens if you find her?"

Buffy looked down at her teacup, holding her breath for his answer.

"Haven't really been looking too hard the last couple of days." He began. "But I told Buffy, if I found her I'd take her out of the country, make sure she's not a problem." Buffy's throat tightened, even though she knew this, it hurt to think he would really just leave.

"Then this is just a temporary thing?" Willow challenged. Buffy didn't look up, but she saw Spike straighten and shift forward in his chair.

"Ooh, who'd've thought that the quiet one had a pair?" he said appreciatively. "Are you asking what my intentions are?

"Yes, yes I am." Buffy could hear the bravado in her friend's voice. She smiled slightly not only because she knew it was mostly false, but that Willow cared enough about her to stand up for her when she was obviously scared.

"Truthfully? I can't say." he said simply then he grow more serious. He spoke slowly, "We've been drawn together like a moth to the flame. I'm just not sure which of us is which. But for as long as this lasts I'm willing to get my wings singed for it." Buffy raised her head, looking first at Willow who seemed entranced by him. "I just don't know how long that will be. These things are tricky, sometimes the candle burns too hot, the moth flies too close, the candle goes out..." he paused. She turned to look at him, watching his Adam's apple move as he swallowed he started speaking again it sounded as if his throat were as constricted as hers. "But sometimes it lasts, moth and candle fluttering together until dawn." he shrugged slightly. "Maybe that'll be us, if we're lucky."

"If you're asking if I'm gonna hurt her, no." He turned his head and looked at Buffy, his eyes full of a mixture of admiration and tenderness. "She's been hurt enough by what's been done to her and more so by what she's had to do. I'm not going to add to that." He turned back to Willow and Buffy blinked rapidly to dispel her tears. "And because it would hurt her, I won't hurt you or any of her friends. I'm sticking to the straight and narrow right now, not because I've changed and aren't evil anymore, but because I'm not gonna do anything that would make her have to hunt me down. That's a pain she shouldn't have to go through again."

It seemed to take Willow a moment to snap out of the spell of his words. She shook herself slightly and resumed her brave facade. "But if it doesn't last, what will you do if it ends?"

"Now that's a trickier question, innit?" he leaned back. "I can tell you what I won't do. I won't go off half-cocked plotting some complicated, long-term revenge scenario, like some bloody-ponce who shall remain nameless. I don't have the patience or taste for that." He turned to Buffy. "That I can promise you. I won't go after your friends."

She nodded, "What about me?" she asked softly.

"I suppose it depends on if the passion just fades and we can walk away or we end up hating each other. Then, I guess, we have a last battle and one of us goes out in a blaze of glory. But no mind games, no terror campaign, just you and me proving who's best." There was no malice in his voice, his expression, no excited anticipation for that possibility, only a somber acceptance of the inevitability of their fate. He stood and walked to Buffy then crouched down and took her free hand in his and locked eyes with her. "I know it's not the rosiest of pictures, but it's honest and the best case scenario if this explodes." He smiled crookedly. "On the bright side, my last relationship lasted over a hundred years so there should be no worries."

She hand tightened on his and she chuckled through her tears. "That is a pretty good record."

"Buffy..." Willow said quietly, her voice tinged with worry.

Buffy looked at her friend. "It's all right Will. I didn't expect anymore than that, in fact that's better than what I thought the worst case would be." The budding witch opened her mouth to argue , but Buffy pressed on. "There was always a chance Spike and I would fight to the death someday so this doesn't change anything."

"Do you love him?" she asked.

"After everything that happened with Angel, I don't know if I can love again." She felt Spike squeeze her hand harder and see the muscle tense in his jaw. "But he's making me happy now and last night, when I thought for a minute that Faith had killed him my stomach tied in knots. I don't know what this is, but I don't want it to stop." She handed her teacup to Spike so he had to release her hand. She took Willow's out of her hands and set it on the table. Then took her friend's hands in her own. "But I don't want to lose you either. Can you deal with this?"

"I'll try. Does Giles know?"

Buffy sighed. "No, I mean this is new, really new, and it got pretty serious pretty fast, so I haven't had a chance to tell him yet." she looked pleadingly at Willow. "Please don't tell him. Give me a little while to figure out how, okay?"

"I don't know Buffy. This is big. I don't know if I can not tell him." Willow squirmed in her seat. Buffy knew she wasn't good with secrets.

"It's just for a bit, not forever. I will tell him, promise." she crossed her heart.

"O...o...okay. I'll try." She already looked anxious.

She hated to dump fuel on the fire but Buffy added. "Please don't tell Xander either." She knew she confided in Xander about everything.

Willow nodded. "Yeah, he wouldn't take it well."

Buffy smiled, both at the understatement and the implication that Willow had taken it well. Although she had to admit it could have been worse.

Willow seemed to come to some inner decision. She took a deep breath and asked. "Buffy can I speak to Spike alone?" catching them both off guard.

"Really? Alone?" Buffy asked.

"Yes." She had her determined look on.

Buffy turned and looked at Spike. He gave a little nod. She stood adjusting her robe. "Be nice." She told him as she turned to go.

"I will if she will." he chuckled. He turned to face Willow, who was watching Buffy leave. "All right Red, what did you want to chat about?"

When Willow turned to face him there was a fierce intensity to her. "If you hurt her I will hunt you down."

While he wasn't surprised at her words he was surprised at the vehemence behind them. Not that he was going to let her see that. "Yeah, yeah. You'll find me and stake me in my sleep. Didn't expect anything less from her friends. I promised her I wouldn't hunt you all down, doesn't mean I won't kill you to defend myself though."

"What are you really playing at?"

He just shrugged, "I already told you, story's not going to change because Buffy's out of earshot."

"What did you do to her?" she pressed.

"That's a bit personal innit? I'm sure Buffy wouldn't want me to kiss and tell, plus your virginal ears might fall off." He waggled his eyebrows at her, smiling with his tongue rolled up behind his teeth.

She scowled. "No, what did you do to her to make her fall for you? Is it a love spell, hypnotism, some kind of glamour, what?"

"Didn't do any of that, I was just my own charming self." he said, flashing his best smile. At her scoff of disbelief, he sighed and said. "It's just what Buffy told you. We teamed up against her ex. Then in LA we ran into each other. I helped her with some...stuff."

"What stuff?" she asked suspiciously.

He sighed in exasperation and stood impatiently. Willow jumped back but he walked to the base of the stairs. "Buffy!" he shouted up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" came the response.

"Getting the third degree from Red here, she wants to know what I helped you with in LA. Way I see it it's your secret. You want me to tell her?" he nodded and returned to the living room. He sat down on the edge of the chair and spoke in hushed tones. "The reason why Buffy left was because she wanted to be done with it."

"What, the slaying?"

He shook his head, "Being the Slayer."

"Isn't it the same thing?" Willow asked, confused.

"No, she was hiding from the slaying, but you've got to be dead to stop being the Slayer." he said grimly.

"Are you saying Buffy tried to kill herself?" Willow was aghast.

He shook his head. "She didn't realize she was so far gone. I realized it when we fought..."

"You fought?"

"Yeah, she got wind I was in town and figured it was her duty to confront me. But she wasn't up to it. I tried to get her to walk away, but she wouldn't so I ended up knocking her out."

"You didn't kill her? Why?"

He shrugged, "I had my reasons. But when she came to I pressed her until she told me why she wanted to die."

"When you say 'pressed' her, do you mean you tortured her?" Willow asked sharply.

"Nah, just some whiskey and a game of truth or dare."

"Spike, be serious." she looked at him in utter disbelief.

"I am, totally serious. Ask her yourself if you don't believe me."

"Why would she play truth or dare with you?"

"I goaded her into it." he said then smirked. "Though I suppose she didn't have much choice, what with being chained to my bed and all."

Her reaction was everything he had hoped for, surprise, followed by indignation, followed by rage. "What? Why? Oh my god, did you...you didn't..." she sputtered.

"Rape her?" he provided. She nodded her lips drawn into a thin line. "Do you think we'd be all cozy today if I did?" He asked his eyebrows raised. "I even left her clothes on. Pretty magnanimous of me don't you think?"

Willow looked disgusted, but didn't rise to the bait. "Then why did you chain her to your bed?"

"I wanted to find out what was up with her and I knew she wouldn't stick around to tell me if it was up to her. So I told her some bull about not letting her go until sundown so she wouldn't know where I was while I was sleeping."

"But why the bed?"

"It was that or the floor." he shrugged. "At least the bed was comfortable." he grinned, "Plus, doesn't it make it wonderfully tawdry?"

"God, what else did you make her do?"

"Do you really want me to recount the whole bloody game, or do you want me to tell you how I helped her?" Thinking about the game was actually turning him on and he realized he'd rather get back upstairs to Buffy than keep stringing Willow along, fun though it was.

"Yeah, right, sorry. How did this awful situation help Buffy?" she challenged.

"I got her to tell me why she wanted to die, facing it, saying it, getting it off her chest was what she needed. Keeping it bottled up was killing her. Once she let it go, it opened the floodgates. She ended up crying herself to sleep in my arms." His throat was tight remembering her in that much pain.

"Because she killed Angel? But we all knew she must have, it wasn't a secret. After everything he did she seemed ready to do it."

He smiled ironically, "Oh, she was ready to kill Angelus. But somehow, at the last minute, he got his soul back, but it was too late. In order to save the world she still had to kill him. So all of us could keep walking on this Earth she sent the man she loved to Hell." He could feel his own anger at the position she was put in. "No one should ever have to make that choice, but she did. She had the strength and the selflessness, to save us all even though she knew what it would do to her." He shook his head. "So am I playing at something? Is this some sort of sick game to bring her down? Am I planning on hurting her? Hell, it's all I can do to keep from falling to my knees before her. That slip of a girl has endured more true pain than I can imagine and if I can keep her from having to experience any more I will. And if I can bring her any happiness or pleasure it would only be a fraction of what she deserves." He said all this staring past Willow, more as a realization of his own motives than an explanation for her. So it was only when he had finished that he looked at her.

She was rocking slightly back and forth, tears streaming down her cheeks, mouthing "oh god" over and over again silently.

"You all right there Red?" he asked. When she didn't answer he snapped his fingers in front of her face.

"It's my fault, oh god, it's all my fault!" She sobbed.

"What's your fault?"

"I did it, I did the spell to get Angel's soul back."

"You did it?" He had no idea the girl was a witch.

She nodded, "I thought if he wasn't evil anymore she wouldn't have to kill him. I never thought that she would have to anyway. If I did, I wouldn't have." she just sat there crying silently.

"When did I become the bloody father confessor?" Spike muttered then got up and called softly up the stairs. "Slayer."

"Are you guys done?" She asked when she appeared at the top of the stairs. Spike was somewhat disappointed to see that she was dressed. Although looking at the light green, flowered sundress he calculated it would take less than 10 seconds to shed, hopefully that's what she had in mind when she chose it.

"I think I broke Willow."

"What!" Buffy came running down the stairs.

He blocked her with a hand on the railing. "I didn't know she was the one that worked the mojo what got Angel's soul back." he whispered. "If I had I wouldn't have been so blunt. She's drowning in guilt."

"Sorry, I should have told you it was probably her. Let me see if I can calm her down."

"Good luck with that. Peckish?"

"Starving. Please tell me you brought something."

He smiled. "I had a feeling you might work up an appetite." He nodded towards Willow. "Go see to her."

He headed into the kitchen, he had moved the dishes from last night in there when he went to make tea, now he stacked him to the side of the sink. He might be walking the straight and narrow right now, but that didn't include doing the washing up. He listened to the girls talking in the other room as he got out the cheese that was left from the picnic along with some fresh bread and fruit that he had brought along last night.

For the first several minutes it was mostly Willow sobbing and both begging Buffy for forgiveness at the same time she argued she didn't deserve it. Finally, Buffy convinced her that she had come to terms with it and didn't blame anyone, though Spike knew she still blamed whatever made her the Slayer, but that wasn't Willow so it was close enough to the truth.

The conversation turned to him, initially Willow checking out his story, making sure it was the truth. Buffy confirmed it of course and managed not to go into anymore detail when answering the questions. Then Willow asked Buffy again about how she felt about him. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help but listen.

"I don't know Will." she began. "Like I said, he's making me happy, and for a while I didn't think that would ever happen again."

"Is it just the...you know?" Spike smiled at the girl's embarrassment.

"No, although, wow. I know now why people make such a big deal of it." He chuckled at that. "But you know, the other night we talked for a really long time and he was funny and charming. He's not gloomy like..." she stopped herself from saying Angel, he could tell she felt guilty whenever she compared the two, mainly because she felt bad because Angel was coming out on the unfavorable side most often.

"But the things he's done, killing slayers and the railroad spikes..."

"I know, but right now, he's not doing any of that. In LA not only did he not kill me, I think he saved me. It's like he was able to look into me and see I was hurting and he wanted to help me, and did. And while his methods were extreme it worked. I wouldn't be back in town if it weren't for what he did."

"So you're grateful..." The witch began.

"Yes, but that's not what this is. I might not know what it is but I know it's not just sex, or gratitude, or lingering displaced feelings for Angel. I can't tell you why, but it's more than any of that. I care about him, I think about him all the time and I look forward to seeing him. Maybe it is love. It's just so different from anything I had before, he's so different, that I don't know. I think I need time to figure it out."

"I think he loves you." Willow said so quietly he almost couldn't hear it. His jaw clenched. He had come to the same conclusion when he was talking to Willow, he just wasn't ready to tell Buffy yet. Thanks Red, he thought.

"What?" Buffy asked surprised. At least she didn't sound upset by the idea.

"When we were talking, he said..."

"Hey Red!" Spike interrupted, calling casually from the kitchen. "Were you staying for brunch?"

"Um...no, thank you." she yelled back sounding shaken, good she took the hint. "I should probably get going."

The girls quickly said their good-byes, with Buffy again asking Willow to keep her secret for a little while.