Ok guys, this is the last chapter I could manage to edit and upload before the big move, which is today. Yay! Don't know when I'll have my phone/Internet connection up and running, so be patient with me please. Be assured though, this story will continue. There are only two chapters to go before I start on part 3!
Thank you for the lovely comments, they are more welcome than ever in these stressful times!
Chapter Fourteen
Settling the girls took a lot longer than either Myka or Helena had anticipated. Even an hour after their agreed bedtime, chatting and giggling continued to drift through the house to wherever the adults had decided to situate themselves.
After another visit to Christina's room, where both eight-year-olds were fighting sleep, Helena sighed and flopped down on her side of the bed next to Myka.
The remainder of the day (after Helena and Adelaide had bidden Nate farewell), had been spent listening to the instant camaraderie that fell between the youngest females in the house. Christina's hand only left Adelaide's when she was not pulling the other girl from one room to another and the two of them were thick as thieves while they plotted and schemed lord knows what. Myka found several house-hold jobs to keep her occupied and away from Helena's penetrating stare, leaving her lover to reluctantly busy herself elsewhere.
Patience was something HG found she had in abundance these days, at least for her lover and child she did. Sitting in her study, the inventor gazed round at the newspaper clippings on the wall and the framed photos of her family. Myka had insisted that if she had to spend time researching devastating reports and dire consequences of artefact misuse, then she should be surrounded by reminders of why they still fought for the continuation of humanity.
Articles illustrating spectacular feats of heroism and community spirit stared down at her from all sides. Stories of people succeeding against all the odds or fighting against oppressors and gaining ground had been placed strategically to give her hope that the utopia she'd once naively dreamt of could someday be realised.
Interspersed amongst these were smiling, laughing, happy faces of those people who filled her day-to-day life with joy. Christina and Myka tumbled through a pile of autumnal leaves. Pete held Christina next to their largest indoor fort to date. Christina sat next to grandpa-Artie as they played a simple lullaby together on his piano. She and Claudia sat studiously watching Christina as she described her latest ideas for the tree-house. The whole gang together at Thanksgiving, playing a stylised version of charades. Finally, she, Myka and Christina; the young girl between the adults as they walked home along their route to the local park; the sun bringing out the slight coppery tinge to Myka's hair, rich reds and oranges decorating the trees and their daughter skipping freely through leaves as the pair of besotted adults gazed lovingly at one another.
Glancing at Myka's image in particular, HG wondered at her partner's confusing behaviour. How many times was the young woman going to return from the Warehouse with the adverse effects of an artefact still lingering? How long before the outcome was something much more serious? How long could the field agent avoid the odds that seemed to befall every other agent in the history of artefact retrieval? How long before she didn't return at all?
These questions niggled at the inventor daily. More so on the days that her lover left for that wretched place or took off round the globe to chase someone's possessed pen or once favoured flute. Someday their lives would be turned upside down by the Warehouse and every time Myka came home in one of these secretive moods, she wondered if that day had come.
Now they were at last alone and the excited murmurs had ceased, giving the couple a chance to finally confront present issues. Having successfully avoided interrogation thus far, Myka pottered nervously around the room, continuing her mindless task of rearranging the space around them, hoping that if she wasted enough time then her problem would miraculously sort itself out.
No such miracle would come.
Helena eyed her lover with a keen gaze, noting the obvious make-work tasks that kept her occupied. "Myka," she intoned pleadingly.
Shoulders sagging in defeat, the taller agent stopped re-organising the ornaments on the chest of drawers to turn and face her girlfriend. The day's activities had not brought her any more acceptance for what her current state of being might be, but the mundane tasks had given her enough time for her to approach the possibility with more logic and less emotion.
She took HG by the hands and pulled her onto the bed, angling her body so that they were almost head on. "We think we may have discovered the reason for yours and Pete's mood swings." Helena's expression became intrigued even as her concern for Myka's wellbeing remained. She gestured for the younger woman to continue. "We discovered that Pete's anxiety isn't triggered by me at all, but by Lila."
"Has she been in contact with an artefact?"
"Not directly." The American conceded. "But then, neither have you. At least, not recently."
HG ran her hands through her hair, pulling back raven locks and sighing through her fatigue. "Darling, I'm sure the details are going to be extraordinarily fascinating, but would you mind terribly getting to the point?"
Myka smiled fondly at the inventor's propensity to use more than double the words needed to say something as simple as 'get on with it'. She took a deep breath and looked her lover directly in the eye. "There's a good chance that Lila and I might be pregnant."
She felt Helena's hands in her own lose their grip and saw her expression freeze. She looked down at their entwined digits and swallowed passed the lump in her throat. Hands playing with long slender fingers, Myka busied herself until she dared look up again. When she did, a single word fell from her girlfriend's lips.
"Pete," the Victorian muttered the name like a curse. She had quickly overcome the fact that he'd kissed her girlfriend while under the influence of an artefact, but to have impregnated her mate? A red haze filled her vision. That thought was intolerable. "Where is he?" She demanded coolly.
Myka frowned as she looked into her lover's eyes again and saw a dark hole expanding in their depths; a calculating darkness that she had not seen since Yellowstone. "Helena?" She cupped the inventor's face between her warm palms, hoping to draw her attention away from whatever dangerous scheme she was imagining. She tried saying her name again but it was like the thought of her carrying Pete's child had driven her into a trance. Though still not certain of her conclusion, she said the only thing she could think of to get through to her lover. "It's not Pete's baby Helena... It's yours." She watched with fascinated relief as the icy bleakness receded and warm chocolate returned to stare back at her with loving confusion. Boy did she really hope she was right about this!
"Mine? That's absurd... H... how is that possible?" HG asked tentatively.
Smiling tightly, Myka took the inventor's hands in her own again. "Pete and I both got whammied together, but you're the one I came home to that day to..." she blushed at the thought of what had happened in their bathroom, easily recalling the state she'd woken to find Helena in. "Make love with. Plus, these mood swings you've been having are directly related to my proximity. It makes sense." Helena's gaze met hers with a sardonic edge. "Ok, it makes no sense," she agreed to the unspoken comment. "But it makes no sense in the same way that everything else in the Warehouse makes no sense." She went on to explain how they'd worked out that Pete's recent problems were linked to Lila and how the villagers in Sri Lanka were exhibiting similar behavioural patterns.
Once she'd said all she could say on the subject, Myka released her hold on her girlfriend and pulled her fingers through wild, towel-dried curls, giving Helena a chance to see just how deeply this news was affecting her lover. She immediately felt ashamed for how she'd reacted to the news even though she hadn't really been in control of her own body or thoughts. Recalling the fiery look in those green eyes when she walked into the living room to find Nate there, Helena settled both hands on Myka's arms and squeezed comfortingly.
She remembered quite clearly, the panic she's felt when she'd finally realised that she was pregnant with Christina. Granted, she had been a young, unmarried, well born Victorian woman, facing being ostracised by everyone she knew, but since people's opinions had never really mattered to her, it was mostly the idea of being responsible for another life that had put the fear of God into her.
A year spent overseas, to return with 'her maid's poor, orphaned child' had fooled no one, but by that time she had fallen in love with the tiny girl in her arms and finally consented to live with her brother so she could keep her precious bundle.
"Myka?" she gently prodded, making circles with her thumbs over tense biceps in an effort to comfort her partner. Akin to a deer in the headlights, the curly-haired agent looked up, her fear and uncertainty brimming over with the tears that fell to her cheeks. Instinctively, Helena pulled the emotional woman towards her and gathered her up in strong, protective arms. "It's ok, love. We're ok. It'll all be fine."
Myka's arms tightened around Helena's waist as she sobbed into one of HG's more conservative nightshirts. Long minutes passed before her body relaxed enough for her vocal chords to function properly again. "What am I going to do with a baby?" she croaked through her lessening tears. "I don't know anything practical about caring for an infant." She felt and heard her girlfriend chuckle and pulled back to stare at her indignantly.
HG schooled her features into a serious mask again and reached up to dry fallen tears. "I'm sorry, darling. I don't mean to laugh at you. I just remember how terrified I felt when I was expecting Christina. I don't imagine there are many women who don't feel at least a little overwhelmed by the knowledge that they're suddenly responsible for bringing another life into the world."
Nodding slowly, Myka wiped at her tears and took a deep breath, closing her eyes to gather her thoughts again. HG waited patiently for her. "I never really pictured myself having a baby. I was quite happy to be an aunt and I love Christina immensely, but this... I don't know where to begin to figure out how this fits into my life."
"Firstly Myka, you are not alone. If you chose to have a baby, then we will be having a baby. We're a family and our children are just as much my responsibility as yours. Never forget that." She placed a series of soft kisses on the brunette's jaw, letting the last one linger on her lips. "Secondly, before we start questioning whether we want another child in our lives, do you think it might be worth confirming that you are in fact expecting? Not that I don't trust your instincts darling, but having confirmation will give us a place to start. I hear there's a test you can take at home now?"
Myka nodded absently. "Most places stock at least one brand."
"Then, when you are ready, we will find out for certain and proceed from there." She watched her girlfriend nod again and took a nervous hand in her own. The ever in control agent appeared completely lost and she knew that Myka would benefit from having a plan to follow. "As there's not much that can be done about it right now, I think that a good night's sleep is in order."
HG directed Myka towards the bed, chuckling when the zombified woman stopped and declared that she needed to go pee.
In the bathroom, sitting on the toilet with her head in her hands, the secret service agent took several long, slow breaths and considered her lover's words. It was difficult not to feel alone in this when it was her body that had been invaded, but Helena's words had helped to soothe that underlying fear. Knowing that there was an agenda to follow in the morning and that she would have better confirmation within the next twenty-four hours, this gave her some peace. Her mind was focussed on that task now instead of flitting randomly from one worry to the next. One task, one focus, one worry; it was much more manageable. Other thoughts continued to loom in the background but they simmered quietly out of the way and allowed her to resume her regular night-time routine.
Back in the bedroom, propping herself up against the headboard, Helena watched the bathroom door and let her thoughts drift.
There was no doubt in her mind that something alien had taken hold of her and was guiding her reactions to specific things regarding Myka. Was her anxiety really because her lover was carrying her child, as Myka had suggested, or could it be the complete opposite? Was this possession of her 'lizard brain' reacting to a foreign presence within her mate? Did it really make a difference if that was the case? Any child of Myka's would be hers too, no matter who sired it, and she would love it all the same. At least she hoped that would be the case; hoped that the effects of Inanna's energy would dissipate soon and she would be given the chance to have her mind to herself again.
Helena insisted that Myka be the 'little spoon', as she'd heard it called, and made sure to wrap her lover up as closely and comfortably as possible. The days ahead were sure to be long and full of spiralling emotions as they dealt with this new challenge and tried to entertain two active and giggly girls.
Exhaustion eventually pulled Myka into a restful sleep, devoid of the unsettling dreams that had plagued her of late. Helena however, stayed awake for a while longer, her mind unable to shut off.
Tentatively, she moved her hand from a hip to a currently toned stomach, imagining the life that might be inside and reminiscing about those first few weeks with Christina. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but it felt right. Though they had no actual confirmation and the logical side of her brain wanted her to hold off on any kind of celebration, her instinct was that of an expectant parent.
What would it be like to see Myka blossoming week after week with their child? To see modern technology in action as they heard the heartbeat for the first time? To be recognised as an equal partner and parent-to-be with the woman of her dreams? To see Christina hold her newborn sibling and coo to him or her in the way she did with her dolls?
As her daydreams stretched further and further into the future and she began to picture this sexless child more clearly, HG knew that she was beyond taken with the idea. Myka was undoubtedly terrified by the thought, but she suspected that most of that fear was due to the suddenness of this discovery and her inexperience. She knew she would have to be careful with her enthusiasm and be patient with her girlfriend, but there was no doubt in her mind that Myka would just as wonderful with a baby as she was with Christina, once she'd settled into the role.
An image of the Warehouse crossed her thoughts unbidden and an unexpected twinge of fondness tickled the back of her mind, bringing with it the hint of a memory of apples. Some days, she was glad of the Warehouse's presence in her life.
Adelaide hunched behind her new friend outside Helena and Myka's bedroom door. They'd been playing happily for an hour in the young Brit's room and now they were hungry, but the adults had yet to make a noise. "Chrissie, I don't think we should go in yet."
Christina's hand hovered over the door handle, her expression one of nonchalant determination. "Why ever not? We are hungry aren't we?"
"Yes, but they must be tired if they're still sleeping, and we did keep talking a bit too late." Blue eyes shone with uncertainty. She remembered a time when Helena had shared her father's bed and mornings like this were reserved for her alone. Helena, or Emily as she was, had never minded her quiet morning interruptions; in fact, she seemed to welcome them, but her father was gently adamant that morning wake-ups between adults were private affairs. She had no idea how Myka felt on the subject and wasn't sure that this was how she wanted to find out.
Frowning, the wavy-haired girl hesitated and turned to face her guest. "Addy, it is past eight o'clock. They never sleep in this late unless Mama's been away. She should be getting up for work; we will be doing them a service by waking them now."
Relaxing a little but recalling the agent's behaviour from the day before, Adelaide continued to protest. "Maybe she decided not to go today; she didn't look very well when we were waving to my Dad yesterday. I'm sure we could find something to eat. Cereal?" She suggested hopefully.
Christina shook her head. "Mummy isn't fond of cereal and Mama tries not to eat much sugar. We have porridge, but I'm not supposed to cook without an adult around. Besides, Mummy promised us omelettes." If there was one thing her mother never reneged on, it was a promise.
Using her trump card, the young American asked timidly, "But what if they're... y'know... kissing and... other stuff?"
"Other stuff?" Christina frowned, thinking of the times she'd walked in on her parents kissing and cuddling. Why did Mama always blush so much?
"Yeah, y'know. When they go to bed and take their clothes off." Adelaide offered this piece of information cautiously, never having seen any evidence of it happening, but having heard snippets of conversation on the playground from some of the eleven year olds. In this case, she deferred to their wisdom.
Frown deepening, the brown-eyed child canted her head to one side. "Don't they wear night clothes?"
Shrugging now and feeling more confident in light of her new friend's lack of knowledge on the subject, the young American began to explain. "I don't know. I don't think so. I heard a sixth-grade boy telling his friends that grown-ups take their clothes off when they want to kiss and make a baby."
Helena lay curled snugly into her girlfriend's side, letting the quiet chat of companionable voices wash over her, smiling to herself as she caught snippets of the conversation taking place behind the closed bedroom door. Myka was still sound asleep and she didn't want to wake the young woman yet. Recent weeks had been hard on her, physically and psychologically, and she needed her rest.
Her own sleep had been light and full of images of swollen bellies, both hers and Myka's, and cooing relatives. At one point, during a rendition of Christina's delivery, Jeanie and Warren Bering had appeared at her bedside, dressed in typical Victorian fashions, to verbalise their continued disapproval.
Despite the rather odd and mixed dreams, she felt rested and was content to lie and listen to the comical exchange occurring on the far side of the door.
However, the moment she caught the change of direction in the girls' discussion, she was immediately wide awake and extracting herself from the covers as quickly and carefully as possible. At the word 'baby' she was tugging her pyjama pants into place. Rushing to the door, she yanked it open, taking the children by surprise and making them both yelp with fright.
Recognising the cherished adult, startled cries turned to squeals of delight and amusement as they took in Helena's dishevelled state and ran off down the stairs, their laughter echoing throughout the house. HG swivelled slowly back to the occupant in her bed and she shrugged an apology as sleepy green eyes glared at her playfully.
"You think you'd like another one of those?" Myka asked seconds before she dragged the covers back over her head.
The inventor smiled to herself as she turned from Myka to follow the sound of more giggling and chatter from bellow. Despite all the associated fears and uncertainties, she knew her answer.
"Yes," she whispered softly.
Long after the girls were fed and busy researching for Adelaide's history project on the American Civil War, Helena and Myka sequestered themselves in their bedroom as they waited for the results of three separate store-bought pregnancy tests. Artie had called to suggest that Myka make an appointment with , which she had already done the night before, but she and her girlfriend needed a quicker confirmation of their hopes/fears.
Myka paced. They only had to wait a few minutes and by Helena's calculations, their results should have been ready two minutes ago, but her lover paced and bit her lip and the inventor had to curb her enthusiasm. When it looked like the brunette would wear a hole in the floor however, HG stood and pulled her lover into a loose embrace.
"Myka, you're working yourself up again. Love, what's troubling you really?" She managed to coax her girlfriend over to the bed. "I don't know how to help you. You're already a wonderful mother; are you worried about being pregnant... Not being pregnant?"
Myka let her head drop into the Brit's lap and sighed heavily. Her thoughts were in turmoil; she didn't have a clear answer to HG's question. She had questions of her own though. "What if I am? What will we do?"
Helena hesitated, thinking that she might need to tread carefully with her answers. "Well, let's look at all the available options. I suppose the first decision we'll have to make is if you will bring it to term or... if we would consider termination." She bit her lip, not wanting to colour their options with her opinion yet. "I you brought it to term, would we want to raise the child or look into adoption?"
"What would you choose?"
HG looked towards the en-suite and ran a hand through her hair. "Darling, would you not rather have this conversation after we already know the results?"
"I'm sorry, Helena. I just need to hear all the options now, before I find out one way or another." She needed to hear her partner's honest opinion. Somewhere amidst the fear, there was a tugging instinct, a desire to love and protect. But I need to know I'm not doing this alone.
A hand rose to run tersely through raven hair. "Very well, love. Any child of yours I would of course keep and cherish for the precious gift it is. I would lobby vehemently against termination or adoption."
Myka smiled from her position. She loved that her girlfriend wasn't afraid to give her honest opinion. It was refreshing. Sam had often told her what she wanted to hear and though she was no Steve Jinks, she had seen his lies too often. It wasn't always a mercy to deliver falsehoods to spare feelings. "Thank you. I don't think I could choose termination or adoption either. If we're pregnant then we'll simply have to make room for an addition to the family." She felt the tension in her chest ebb and flow as she gazed at the chain around her girlfriend's neck for several seconds more before asking her next question. "What if I'm not?"
Helena contemplated the meaning behind the inquiry, her brow furrowing in thought. "You mean, do we continue as we have been or do we discuss the possibility of more children?" Myka nodded thoughtfully from her reclined position. "Well darling, there's no harm in discussing the possibility. Do I take it that you are not as opposed to the idea as you first appeared?"
"I'm opposed to the idea of not being given the option," Myka insisted. "Of us not being given the choice and the time to discuss it and prepare properly."
"Ah, I understand," Helena chuckled but shook her head at the same time. "That's very noble of you Myka, and I agree in principal, but women the world over, throughout history, have lain with lovers and found themselves unexpectedly with child. They have born those children and raised them with love, just as those who sought the mantel of motherhood did. We are not all blessed with the skills to be exceptional parents, and sadly there are those who should never be given the chance to have guardianship over a young life, but then there are those like you, who possess such radiant souls that any child would be doubly blessed to have them in their lives.
"What I'm trying to say darling, in this rather long-winded fashion, is that, no matter how or when children come into our lives, we will love them and care for them equally, and to the best of our abilities. We may not always succeed in making the right choices, but we have each other and we will work together to see that we make it through."
Arms pushing her into a seated position, Myka stared in awe at her partner. She had never seen only the scheming villain. Even when she'd felt like the tortured woman had ripped her heart from her chest, she had maintained the opinion that there was good in her, but not until this moment had she seen the true brilliance of her heart and soul. She was a passionate and headstrong woman in many ways and guilty of being short-sighted and selfish on occasion, but at her best, she eclipsed the brightest star in Myka's eyes and brought meaning to her life that, never in her wildest dreams, could she have imagined.
Myka's lips met Helena's with fevered force and they tumbled back onto the bed. Several minutes ticked by then as they lost themselves in each other, tasting and teasing with equal focus. The chiming of the hall clock eventually penetrated their purple haze, bringing them to their senses, and Helena found herself gazing up into bright, joy-filled orbs. That's more like it, she thought with relish.
Ducking down for one last lingering kiss, Myka whispered a reverent 'I love you' as she pulled back and stood, tugging HG to her feet at the same time.
"Myka, you are a jewel that I will treasure always. I love you with all my heart, never doubt that." Holding her green-eyed beauty's smiling face between her palms, the inventor dared a glance towards the bathroom. "Is it time?"
The young woman exhaled slowly and nodded. "Let's do it."
Entering hand in hand, they looked down upon the three similar white sticks and tried to recall the instructions. Each reaching for a test, they remained silent for several seconds, eyes widening and butterflies churning with the dawning realisation of what the results meant for their future.
Myka checked the second and third ones to be sure and when they were all the same, she beamed, the tension that had lingered in her body finally leaving her.