What a kerfuffle! Why does technology refuse to obey my commands only when I'm in a hurry and I don't have a power lead for my laptop with me!?
Beginning to wrap things up now. This was a tricky chapter to write and I'm still not sure how plausible HG's conversation with Adelaide is. All I can say is, it felt right when I wrote it.
Thank you for all of the lovely reviews, PMs and follows/favourites. It was nice to have something to smile about amidst the chaos of moving house!
Still no Internet. I'm updating this from my parents' house. Chapter 16 will come in a couple of weeks, all being well and good with installation.
Fifteen
With Myka and Christina out grocery shopping, HG sat on the couch with Adelaide, enjoying some one-to-one time. The week had very nearly elapsed and neither knew when they would have a chance to share a moment like this again.
Despite loving her time playing with Christina and developing an unexpected sisterly bond with her fellow eight-year-old, Adelaide had many lingering questions for her father's ex-girlfriend, and was collecting more every day. Their regular contact via e-mail only brought so much comfort and there were certain things that they just couldn't discuss through such a cold method of communication.
In the quiet of the living room, Adelaide reclined against the adult's side. They were looking through the many curiosities that she and Christina had collected during their 'Arctic exploration' of the back garden, but there were more serious concerns that the young girl wanted to address before the rest of the household returned. "Helena, why did you and my dad break up? Was it because you love Myka or because you had to lie about who you are?"
The inventor slowly closed the 'box of treasures' that the children had put together and placed it next to them on the couch. She looked down into curious and confused blue and pulled the girl closer, offering comfort and a silent apology. "It was a little of both," she admitted.
"Why did you come to live with us if you wanted to live with Myka?"
"That's a very good question." Helena considered for a moment how much she should tell the girl; she was very bright and wouldn't be satisfied with platitudes. "Did your father tell you anything about what happened to Christina?"
Adelaide frowned, not expecting the adult to have addressed this enigma so soon. "He said you told him that she died."
HG nodded. "It is difficult to believe, but yes, she did. That she is alive now is quite simply a miracle. There are things in this world my dear, which exist apart from the convention that people expect. I am not at liberty to divulge any specifics, but suffice it to say that these things are wholly unexplainable. Perhaps I will be forced to tell her some day, but for now, Christina is unaware of any period of non-existence and I'd like to keep it that way." She looked into the girl's innocent eyes again and felt horrid for placing such a heavy burden on her shoulders.
"I won't tell," Adelaide insisted and HG found that she trusted her young ward.
"When I met your father, I was in turmoil. Christina was no longer with me and I had taken my anger out on the world, and the people... the person, who mattered most to me." She shifted slightly and ran her fingers through soft, shiny-brown hair. "After a period of attempted redemption, I was asked by an acquaintance... an old colleague, to hide something dangerous. I do not believe she meant that I should stay hidden, but I saw it as the perfect opportunity to flee, so I did."
"You ran away? But you're not afraid of anything." Adelaide gazed up at the inventor as if she had just been told that the sky was green.
HG chuckled. "I am afraid of a great many things my love. Bravery is action in the face of that fear and I have not always been particularly brave. I was not brave when I hid from Myka... I feared her most of all."
"Why? Agent Bering isn't scary."
"No she's not, but as I'm sure you know darling, when you lose someone you love, it hurts. I denied my feelings for Myka because I knew that the pain of losing her would drive me to madness again and I didn't want to experience what I felt when I lost Christina." Am I being too open with this subject? HG wondered silently. Is she overly young to be discussing death to such depths?
"So..."
Shaking off her doubts, Helena regarded the simple acceptance in those vibrant blue eyes and considered the likelihood that some children were mature beyond their years. As a bright child herself once, half-truths had only tormented her and left her longing for clarity. She couldn't do that to Adelaide. "Your father, yes. When you deny what your heart wants it can leave you feeling empty. I searched for ways to keep myself occupied and one day, during a cooking class, met a man who was kind and handsome, who knew my pain and was trying to raise a brilliant young girl all by himself." Helena caught Adelaide's eye again, wanting the girl to see her sincerity and not think that she had manipulated her way into their lives. "Here was a man without a partner and a child without a mother, and I was a woman without either. I thought that if I could just love them and care for them, then my pain would fade and I would stop feeling empty, and perhaps I could heal their pain too. Some noble intention, but not very well thought out."
"Why not? I loved having you with us," Adelaide stressed her feelings, a lingering regret colouring her tone.
Helena kissed the top of the child's head and hugged her closer. "And I loved every moment spent with you my dear."
"But you didn't love my dad," the girl finished the adult's thought. "Because you still loved Myka."
Feeling shame pricking the backs of her eyes, HG closed her eyes briefly to collect herself. "There is a very special place for you in my heart, as I'm certain there is a place for me in yours. No one could ever replace the love you keep for your mother, just as no one could replace mine for Christina. The heart is a curious thing; it has an infinite capacity to love without ever needing to be any larger."
"Like the TARDIS," Adelaide brightened, giving HG a chance to laugh through the tension in her body.
"Yes, like the TARDIS." Helena chuckled slightly, remembering her introduction to The Doctor. "Except, when it comes to two adults who fall in love and want to share their lives together, it's usually a case of only one at a time. Your father loved your mother and while she was alive, no one else would do. He may find love with another someday and if he does then they will be the only one. In short Adelaide, I couldn't love your father the way I had intended to; the way he deserved to be loved, because my heart belonged to another and I was reminded very sharply of that when Myka and Pete turned up to solve their case."
There was a period of silence, where Helena held her breath and wished not to be condemned by the young girl beside her. She had enough sins on her head. This one was committed with ignorance and, she hoped, was one that she could make some amends for.
Adelaide sat up slowly and turned in the protective embrace to look up at her idol. She understood Helena's reasons as she explained them, even as she couldn't empathise. She knew what she had seen from her point of view; alone, Helena was always heartbroken and her eyes were haunted when she was thoughtful. "You were sad when they left and Dad was cross because he didn't know who you really were."
Barely noticeable, HG inclined her head. "I wanted to stay for you, but your father deserved better. I care about him and I want him to be happy; I can't be the one to make him happy."
"You left so he could meet someone else," the girl concluded quickly.
"You really are a very intelligent girl." She wanted to make her next point very clear. The blue-eyed child should never have to feel responsible for the mistakes of her elders. "Do you understand why I had to leave then? It wasn't because of anything you or he did wrong. I don't know what he has said to you but, though I didn't mean to, I hurt him and he has a right to still feel cross about that."
Smiling a little, Adelaide resumed her place in her surrogate mother's arms. "He's ok now. He gets grumpy because you're not allowed to tell him things. He thinks that you might work for MI6, like a female James Bond."
HG frowned. She'd heard that name, knew it came from a series of books and of course, knew what MI6 was, but wasn't sure that she really understood the reference. She wasn't sure how much of it to be complimented or offended by. "Ok, well let's keep our fingers crossed that your father may yet meet someone who deserves him. And of course, someone who deserves you too."
"I don't want to have to stop seeing you, Helena," the girl confessed longingly.
HG pulled back once more too look down on the child. "We are friends, are we not?"
"Yes," Adelaide answered cautiously, wondering where this was going.
"Well as long as your father approves, (and after this week, I don't see why he shouldn't), you can come and visit more often. I know that Christina would be delighted to have you close by. She doesn't go to school yet, so she hasn't really had chance to make friends her own age."
"She should go to Scouts. They do lots of exploring; it's really fun!"
Feeling the cold edge of panic cutting through that thought, Helena changed the subject smoothly to Christmas and the school holidays. Chatting in a relaxed manner, the pair felt accomplished by the time eager footsteps were heard running along the path outside and Christina's whirlwind presence invaded the calm of the house.
An icy blast followed the returned eight-year-old and Helena watched her daughter in fascination as she twirled gracefully into the living room. She smiled at the melting snowflakes in her hair and redness of her cheeks, the extra colour contrasting sharply with her alabaster complexion.
Seconds after Christina had thrown herself into HG's lap, the sound of feet stomping on the welcome mat and an exasperated voice drifted into their cosy sanctum.
"Christina Josephine Wells! Get back here and pick up your boots young lady!"
"Oops," Contrition and guilt warred for dominance on the youngest time-traveller's face as she scrambled from her comfy seat and fled the room as quickly as she'd entered.
Helena shared an amused glance with her young guest and suggested that they see if help was needed with unpacking the shopping.
Walking into the kitchen, they found the task already underway, Myka tackling the higher shelves while her helper juggled fruit into a bowl.
Ever courteous, Adelaide began passing pears to her peer. "Do you want any help, Myka?"
The lanky agent smiled down at the temporary addition to their household and shook her head. "I'm fine with the groceries; Helena will help. You could entertain this fire-cracker for a while though," she added with an indulgent smile directed at her daughter.
Christina trotted away from the counter and grasped Adelaide's hand. "Smashing! Addy was telling me all about the planets last night and we agreed that we would try and make a scaled down replica of the solar system before her father returns."
"We're not sure if we'll find anything big enough to be the sun though," Adelaide cautioned, blushing slightly at the sudden interest of both adults. The idea to make a model had been a throw-away comment made under the blanket of drowsiness. She hadn't anticipated Christina's unquenchable enthusiasm. Her new friend had grand ideas and didn't see the need to dilute them much.
"If it's too small, we won't be able to see most of the planets adequately. Larger would be better, though not very practical. We require a sphere at least a meter in diameter." Christina's expression illustrated her complete immersion in the planning stage of their latest project.
HG had no doubt that her daughter would attempt to fill the Warehouse with her creations if it was offered.
Following the wavy-haired girl's lead, Adelaide nodded. "Even then, Pluto won't be much bigger than a grain of sand. It has been downgraded though, so we can leave it out if we really want to."
HG frowned in thought as she stocked the fridge, brining short-date items closer to the front. "Perhaps you would find the task easier to manage if you make the sun two-dimensional. It wouldn't be much of a stretch then to increase the size of your planets three or four times. Are you sure you'll manage to complete this project in a day? You do remember that Adelaide is going home tomorrow?"
Christina's face fell. "I remember. Must she go?" She asked plaintively.
"Yes Sweetheart," Myka answered from the sink, where she'd begun to prepare vegetables for their dinner. "I know you've both enjoyed your time together, but I'm sure Adelaide misses her dad and her own home." She watched the children glance at each other and the blue-eyed girl nod apologetically.
"Very well," the aspiring architect conceded, her demeanour despondent for a moment before she brightened again. "Then we must make the most of our time remaining. Come along Addy; to the bat-cave!" she cried, imitating her favourite computer geek and making her mother shake her head as she dragged her friend off to her room.
Laughing at Helena's chafed expression, Myka finished scrubbing her potatoes and sat them on a chopping board ready to be peeled. She turned to clear the debris from the sink and soon found two arms sliding lovingly around her waist. Warm breath blew across the back of her neck in a gentle exhale as HG's head rested against her own. She leant back into the embrace for a moment, enjoying the relative peace now that the girls were ensconced in Christina's room. After a quiet few moments, she rinsed and dried her hands and then turned in lithe arms to face her girlfriend.
"How did the talk go?" She asked the inventor once they were eye to eye. "She seemed happy enough."
Arms wrapping securely around her girlfriend again, Helena nodded. "I sincerely hope I didn't overdo it with the details, though she's rather more mature than the average child I've encountered in this century. I believe she was satisfied with the result of our discussion though."
"Good," Myka leant in for a short, sweet kiss. "I know you've been agonising over this for days... Amongst other things."
HG glanced down automatically and smiled. "Have I told you today that you are beautiful beyond words and sense? I know that it shouldn't matter and I meant what I said about loving any child we have equally, but there is something raw and wanting knowing that it is my seed growing in there." She placed a possessive hand over Myka's abdomen and leaned in to kiss the American smugly.
Myka felt her body react to the open desire in those dark, chocolate orbs and sank into the feel of Helena's lips on her own. Her hands travelled up to cup the inventor's face and she pulled back just enough so their mouths were barely touching. "Mmm, if I didn't find your enjoyment of our situation such a turn on, I would be forced to tell you that you sound very butch when you say things like that."
Hands slipping unbidden beneath the back of her lover's shirt, Helena felt her body push ever closer to Myka's, eliciting wanton groans from both of them. "Then I would be duty bound to inform you that I am helpless in your presence and beg your forgiveness for any offence. As it is, with your enjoyment negating the need to reprimand me for my masculistic opinion, I anticipate tending to your needs and desires the moment we can be assured of privacy." HG relaxed deliberately and pulled back to a more respectable distance, a pout forming while she continued to embrace her girlfriend. "This week, I've had a stronger urge than ever to devour you and suddenly find that I have a fraction of the opportunity. It is most unfair."
While stroking a lock of raven hair behind a delicate ear, Myka smiled indulgently. "I wouldn't have thought it when I first discovered this," she placed both hands on her stomach and looked dreamily at it. "And then finding Nate here," she left the thought open and shot a raised eyebrow at the Victorian, though there was no real malice in it now. "But this has been a very good week. I don't know when I have ever been this happy. You have made this huge change so much easier to bear. I don't feel half so terrified when I remember that you will be there with me, every step of the way." Bringing her mouth down on Helena's again, Myka kissed her tenderly, lovingly, with the promise of unending devotion.
"Every step, my darling. I promise."
They stayed entwined for several minutes, basking in one another's warm proximity before, with unspoken agreement, they parted and returned to preparing dinner, chatting as they worked seamlessly together.
Glancing across the kitchen towards her girlfriend, HG remembered the contents of their grocery bags. "I notice that you bought an exorbitant amount of cheese twists," she commented cautiously from her side of the counter, where she stood slicing chicken into strips.
"You did tell me to listen to my cravings," Myka reminded her lover over her shoulder.
Helena paused in her task to stare incredulously at the back of a curly-haired head. "Twelve boxes? Do you think you'll need to consume that much before our next visit to the market?"
"They were three for two, so technically I only bought eight," the younger woman grinner back at the Brit.
Helena's raised eyebrow told her that she still found the amount excessive. "Which begs the question why not buy four and have six, or six and nine?"
"Helena, they will keep, unopened, for at least six months. They may not be on offer next time we shop."
"I still do not trust these products that remain edible for months or even years on end. Who knows what chemicals are entering our bodies, or what the long-term effects are? Do you know how many dietary conditions and autoimmune diseases there are now? They were virtually unheard of in the 1800's." Her girlfriend finished chopping the potatoes and moved to the centre island, leaning against it to watch Helena's face during her diatribe. "Portly people were generally those who could afford to stock 'white gold'. Animal fat was a large part of anyone's diet, but no one who ate fat alone ever became so corpulent. It seems backwards to tamper so heavily with the fuel we need to function only to complain when health declines. God forbid we should eat what nature intended."
"Then sugar isn't a natural product?"
"Of course it is. But how many apples do you think you could eat in one sitting? The five that are in your glass of juice? Yet how many glasses of juice could you drink?" Carelessly waving her knife around, HG was oblivious to the renewed interest in Myka's eyes. "Would all of this fruit have been available out of season? How much tampering has that plant undergone to make the fruit bigger, shinier and of a consistent shape for discerning shoppers?"
"So, you don't want me to listen to my cravings?" Myka poked with a teasing smile.
"Can you perhaps just listen to the cravings that ask you to eat the kind of foods that logic and not just 'conventional wisdom' tells you to eat?" Putting down her knife, Helena leant her hands against the counter, keeping her a head higher than her girlfriend. "Like for instance, foods that aren't pure candy and colouring and twisted into phallic lengths."
Myka frowned for a second before rising to the same height. "You're asking me to stop eating Twizzlers?"
Helena made a face. "Do you really enjoy them that much, love?"
Myka shrugged. "It's my vice. If you're willing to face the consequences of a hormone induced debate or ten, I'll go easy on the pre-packaged foods. Will that put your mind at ease?" She nabbed a piece of sliced carrot from in front of her nodding lover and smiled as she popped it into her mouth. "So what did you crave when you were expecting Christina?"
"Clams and oysters. Before my parents shipped me off to live out my pregnancy and confinement away from critical eyes, I used to make Charles take me down to the docks early in the morning to meet the fishing boats mooring on the Thames. Freshly caught, they were marvellous." A faraway look appeared in her eyes as she remembered those times.
Myka tried to share this picture and felt her stomach churn unpleasantly. "Just the thought of seafood makes me feel nauseated right now."
"Sorry love." Helena offered with genuine contrition. Trying to erase the image of fish and clams, she continued, "I craved beef and onion stew with dumplings and heaps of cabbage too. It wasn't the same while I lived in Paris though; I soon gave up trying to make it. I never could stomach most of their delicacies, but generally, Parisian food was enjoyable."
Sharing the mundane domestic task of preparing dinner was becoming a pleasurable past time for both women. Seeing Myka's lips devour the occasional nibble on the side sent a jolt of arousal through Helena every time she witnessed the erotic move. Particularly since learning of Myka's condition, the inventor really was finding it difficult to keep her hands to herself.
Helena continued to unabashedly ogle Myka as she set their meal to cook and they began to clear away the organised chaos of vegetable peelings and utensils. Moments like this made her picture that veil and carriage with more clarity and she had to physically shake herself out of one or two daydreams when she realised that her lover was gazing at her with amused curiosity.
Why was it suddenly so desirable to see Myka walking down the aisle? She had never put much stock in marriage, so why was she now so fixated on saying her vows? Marriage was an estate built for the socially conscious; those who needed a band of iron and a piece of paper to brag about their connections. Wasn't it?
She was so sure she didn't feel that way any more.
Christina hugged her mother's leg as she stood with her parents, waving Adelaide off at the end of her stay. She wasn't going to cry. Uncle Charlie had always insisted that one must keep a stiff upper lip in situations such as this. When her mummy had to leave on one of her many business trips, he would take one look at her wobbling lip and watery eyes and pull her into his arms: "Keep that stiff upper lip, darling. You wouldn't want cook to catch you sulking now, would you? One must abide these trials with forbearance and not show weakness."
She missed her uncle Charlie. She sometimes wondered why he hadn't travelled through time with them. He would have loved the future, with its fast cars and astounding motion pictures. Once, she had asked her mother whether they couldn't return to Victorian London to retain him: "If we travelled forward in time, surely we could travel backwards too." After being told that no such feat had been managed yet, she declared that she would improve upon the time-machine until it was possible for her to move through time to any point and bring back those people she missed most.
Following that declaration had been a long and tedious lecture on the potential perils of changing the natural order of historical events, no matter how insignificant they might seem.
As Adelaide was whisked out of sight, Christina felt her energy drain from her body and she slumped back into the house. With her only friend gone, she was at a loss for what to do next. Before the young American's visit, she had been content to enjoy her mother's company, and her Mama's, when she was home. Now, remembering again how it felt to spend time with another child, she wasn't sure that adult company would help.
Turning to face her beloved parents, she looked mournfully up at them. "May I go to my room?"
Helena knelt in front of her daughter while Myka too moved instinctively closer. "Love, we can do something together if you like. Perhaps finish the rocket we were building with the Lego? It would compliment your solar system nicely."
Christina shook her head. "No thank you Mummy. I think I would prefer to read alone, just for a little while."
HG's words got lost in her mouth. She wanted to make her little girl happy, but she didn't want to push. As she continued to stall by brushing pieces of lint off Christina's jumper, Myka gave word to what she needed to say.
"Of course you can go to your room Sweetheart. Mummy and I will come and check on you in about an hour." The lanky brunette placed a hand on Helena's shoulder and gently but firmly guided her away, letting Christina retreat upstairs. Seeing a touch of panic on her lover's features, she called after the girl, "Don't hesitate to call or come down if you need us!"
"I will, Mama!" Christina's voice sang from her room.
Letting Myka guide her into the living room, HG sat with none of her usual poise and leant into her girlfriend. "I'm a terrible mother," she bemoaned.
Myka wound her arms securely around the slight figure next to her and placed a kiss to her crown. "You are far from being a bad mother, and you know it," she stated firmly.
In silent contemplation, Helena looked back on the last few months and didn't have to count every day to know that she'd spent them playing and learning with Christina and generally doing all the bonding activities she had missed doing the first time round. The intention to take her daughter out to join in with various events and pursuits had been there, but she had yet to work up the courage to actually leave the house alone with the girl. When they did venture out, Myka was always with them.
"I'm overprotective," the inventor continued to chastise herself.
"You're worried; that's natural." The younger woman let her fingers stroke through silken locks in a soothing manner. "Perhaps, now that we're all a little more settled, you could take her out a couple of times a week? It doesn't have to be far, but if you want, I can leave the car and get a lift to the Warehouse with one of the others."
Feeling coddled and irritable, HG pushed herself up so she was no longer leaning against the svelte agent but alert and determined beside her. "I must do something. Carrying on in this stupid fashion will not do. Our girl deserves better than to be constantly cooped up; an unknowing prisoner to her mother's fears."
"Helena, you're being too hard on yourself." Myka insisted gently.
"Am I?" HG's unforgiving gaze turned on her lover, the intensity of her stare cautioning the American. "I knew she needed to socialise more and I ignored that knowledge because it suited me to keep her close. Tell me that that's not being deliberately neglectful," she spat in a clipped attitude.
Myka's eyebrow rose at the sharp tone and she had to remind herself that her girlfriend was upset and the inventor's ire was not necessarily directed at her. Still, her own emotions were all over the place lately and the last thing she needed was to get into a pointless argument. "You seem determined to berate yourself, Helena." With a sigh, she stood up from the couch, kissed her girlfriend on the cheek to try and assuage some of her impending guilt, and made for the door. "Let me know when you want to talk sense."
Realisation that her attitude was only making things worse stopped the inventor in her tracks. She felt the fight drain out of her and tears of frustration spring to her eyes. Deciding that some 'reflection time' (as she called it when Christina needed to cool off), was needed, HG retreated to her basement lab and reclined in her armchair.
She knew Myka had a point; she was blowing things out of proportion. The reason for her sudden temper, she realised some time later, was more to do with the fact that there were no more 'outs', no more excuses. Christina not only needed to socialise with people her own age, she was now cognizant that she wanted and enjoyed interacting with her peers.
Helena had to crush her fears once and for all. She dreaded to think what would happen if she didn't.
Hearing Helena retreating forlornly to her lab, Myka sighed. Was she being too hard on her lover? It pained her to leave the other woman alone with her thoughts, but once the inventor was on her high horse, there was very little talking to her until she decided to come down.
Christina's isolation concerned her too. She had planned to address the issue immediately after the New Year, when local kids clubs and attractions reopened, but Adelaide's stay had increased the urgency of the situation.
Unsure of just how long she'd been lost in her thoughts, Myka suddenly became aware that she was being watched. She'd left the study door open so as not to discourage either Helena or Christina and the chair she'd chosen looked out on the front garden. It was only the weight of the tread that gave away her companion's identity and she waited calmly while Helena decided whether to enter or not. When minutes passed with no further movement, toward or away, she decided to end the stalemate and turned her gaze on her pensive lover.
Half smiling, Myka left the cushy desk chair in favour of the plush loveseat in one corner of the room. "Are you going to darken the doorway with your cloud of gloom, or did you want to come in and enjoy the view with me?" She settled back into the cushions, her posture open as she invited the older woman to join her.
"I'm scared," the inventor admitted, taking a step forward.
Myka nodded calmly. "I know."
"I dislike it; I can't help but feel irate," HG added as her legs carried her closer to her partner's comforting presence.
"It gets your dander up," the brunette agreed with a gentle smirk, eliciting a reluctant smile from her girlfriend.
"Quite." Helena slipped easily into the space that remained beside her lover and leant her head against the back, a hand rising automatically to caress the side of the face she could never get enough of. "What would I do without you?"
"That's not a question you ever have to ask," Myka insisted as she reached up to capture the exploring digits.
"You cannot promise that." HG pulled her lover's hand into her lap and dropped her head to study the intricate lines that criss-crossed the smooth curves. "A large part of me would wither away and die without you."
"If you let it," the field agent continued. At Helena's frown, she hastened to explain, placing her unoccupied hand against her girlfriend's chest, over her heart. "You could let my memory haunt you and pierce the part of you that holds your love for me, or you could use my memory to comfort you in hard times and inspire you to live instead." She noted the sceptical expression gazing back at her and squeezed one of the hands holding hers. "It would not be easy Helena, not by miles, but wouldn't it be preferable to the hellish darkness you lived in after losing Christina? If it were the other way round, would you want me to waste away while dwelling on regrets? Or to find comfort in the love we shared? I will be in here," she tapped her index finger against Helena's sternum for emphasis, "As long as you keep me here.
"Death is a part of life that we can't avoid. It will come to us whether we fear it or not. I for one would like to look back and know that I made the most of our time together. If we spend all of our lives worrying about what might be, we will forget to appreciate what is."
"You are much too wise for your years, my love." HG watched a shaft of setting sunlight bounce off the natural auburn highlights in her girlfriend's hair and instantly understood what the younger woman was trying to impart. Now all she had to do was embrace that wisdom. A task easier said than done, but not impossible. "I cannot imagine a world where you and Christina are not physically by my side, but trying to fight the natural order of things has never worked out very well for me in the past, has it?" She thought for a minute about her time with Adelaide, about how she had escorted the young girl to her self-defence classes, friends' houses and school, and felt proud as she watched her surrogate daughter excel, learn and grow. She wanted those same things for Christina. There would be no more backtracking or letting doubt control their lives. Recalling a phrase that Claudia was rather fond of, HG decided that she would 'fake it until she made it'. "Shall we look at that list of local clubs then, darling? I remember we were both rather fond of the Children's Museum. What else is out there?"
Myka's radiant smile lit up the room, tears of pride welling up as she gazed at the beautiful creature before her. There were days when she struggled with 'what ifs' too. In her line of work, it was difficult not to expect the unexpected, but when she considered the long, arduous period Helena had endured where nothing but the shadow of her sins and mistakes tormented her, she marvelled at the personal journey her lover travelled. A lesser person would have fallen and never bothered to get back up.
Mouths meeting in a languorous caress, breath shared and tasted, sighs of contentment swallowed; the couple melted into one another. Enveloped in each other's embrace, the trials that lay on their shared path seemed to diminish, the road ahead painted in hues of hope and wonder with the rising dawn of a new chapter.