NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I can't express how much I appreciate everyone's support and kind words. They do motivate me to continue. This story, BTW, should be wrapping up in about three chapters, four max.
DISCLAIMERS: Please see the previous chapters. Sermon in Jay's dream/nightmare is from the episode of NXT from July 31, 2013, mixed with Smackdown from November 29, 2013. The Elinor Glyn poem is an actual one inspired by her Three Weeks series, original author of the poem unknown.
Heal Me: Chapter Five
"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
"There are several different types of men in this world. There are men who dream and never make it off their couch. There are men who dream and fail. And then there are men who dream and change the landscape of this world, people like Bray Wyatt. What about you, Jay? That's what I want to know. Aren't you tired of feeling unwanted? Aren't you tired of feeling like an outcast and being stepped upon?"
Jay glared up at his tormentor with bleary, bloodshot blue eyes. Even chained up, beaten down and bruised, he still had quite a bit of fire left inside him. "I'd rather spend the rest of my life as an unwanted, stepped-upon outcast than join your band of freaks!"
POW! A sudden pain shot through the side of Jay's head, and he was knocked sideways onto the floor. He glanced over at the pair of boots that stood next to him. Something dropped onto the cold concrete. It took a moment for Jay to recognize it as Erick's sheep mask.
"YOU WILL SHOW BRAY PROPER RESPECT!" Erick growled, as he glared down at the chained-up captive, his voice low, but deadly.
Jay gazed up at Bray's Second Son, his expression unreadable. Then, without thinking, he snarled and spit into Erick's face.
"YOU!" The single word Erick bellowed out was loud and growly, and it sounded almost like a lion's roar. Before Jay could react, the big man pounced on him. There was a jangling of chains and shouting. The next thing he knew, Jay felt chains being wrapped around his throat. His body was lifted up and dragged across the floor.
Panic and pain set in as Jay's air was suddenly cut off. The darkness of the garage suddenly felt darker, and a tight pain filled Jay's chest. His hands flew to his neck. Dancing silver specks filled Jay's vision, reminding him fleetingly of glitter being spilled across a piece of black construction paper. His head throbbed, and what little he was able to see began to flicker and fade...
"ERICK! LET HIM GO! GET OFF HIM! YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM!"
Suddenly, the pain in Jay's chest ceased, and the chains loosened. The beaten blonde toppled back to the floor, a pile of chains and shabby clothing, blood, flesh and bone. Air rushed back into Jay's lungs, and he crumpled into himself, coughing and choking and sputtering.
As Jay caught his breath, he could hear Erick and Bray in heated conversation. "Don't ever put your hands on him like that again...discipline, Erick! He'll be worth nothing if he's dead...leave that to me!"
How long did Jay lay on the concrete. He couldn't tell. A minute, two, five, ten. It didn't matter. What mattered now was the fact that Bray was now looming over him. Jay lifted his pounding head, and his throbbing eyes attempted to focus.
"Like I said, Jay," continued the Eater of Worlds, without missing a beat. "Aren't you tired of feeling unwanted? Aren't you tired of feeling like an outcast and being stepped upon?"
He didn't wait for an answer and continued. "Well then today is your day because today's the day that Bray Wyatt decided he's gonna change everything, and today's the day that he's gonna change you. Today, hell's about to freeze over. Today, pigs are gonna fly. Today, me and my people are gonna look fear right in the eye and say, 'Mr. Fear, sir, you are a liar'. And you'll stand alongside them.
Bray paced back and forth in front of his captive. "When I dream, I see all these mannequins posing as people. They're living in a world where they're intoxicated with their own vanity. But we all see symmetry in beauty. I have felt the sharp teeth of society. I know what it feels like to be thrown in some groveling pit where they all point down and laugh at me. But look at me now. I grow stronger by the day. And look, I got my wings and a halo waiting for me at the end! Nobody knows you better than I do, Jay; they could never know you like I do. You'll be safe with us. You've entered the lion's den as a man, Jay but you'll emerge a monster.
"When I say Monster, I don't mean some ugly, repulsive, scary beast that's waiting in the shadows to pounce on you and drag you away to have you for its dinner. I mean Monster in the sense that we scare people with ideas that completely shatter the status quo. We scare people with the idea of change. The masses want to silence and destroy people like us because we terrify them with the idea of change, which is firmly rooted in truth. Truth makes the masses stop and think. Are they living in truth, or are they living a lie? Truth brings change, and that change brings truth.
"That's a very heavy burden. A difficult task. But you can help me, Jay. Don't you see that? When you follow me, you're serving the Lord. And think about that. Out of everyone in this world, the Lord has called you. You're are an instrument for the Lord, a monster if you will, destined to help bring about change to this fallen world. That is such a blessing, Jay. You get to serve the Lord.
"When the smoke clears, Jay, I want you to go and tell all these so-called world leaders that they better heed my warning: take notice to Bray Wyatt. Because today's the day that Bray Wyatt decided to bring down the machine, with you as a willing and happy disciple. And we're not gonna be hard to find. All you gotta do is go look up in the sky and follow the buzzards..."
~~~ANGEL~~~
Jay twitched and jerked in his sleep. His voice was small, like that of a child. "...Bray...no, Bray! Don't let him hurt me, Bray! Stop it, don't hurt me!"
The heavy hand on his shoulder made Jay shriek and curl up into a tight ball in the bed, as he emerged out of his nightmare. "NO!"
"Jay...Jay. It's me. Luke."
Jay lifted his head up in the direction of the soft, rumbly voice. He felt the bed dip slightly as someone sat down at the foot. He could tell by the soft glow in the room that the bedside lamp was on. He recognized the big shape in the room by its distinct scent and feel. He moved closer and felt big arms wrap around his slender frame. "I'm sorry, Luke," Jay gasped. "I just...I freaked out."
Luke carded his big fingers through Jay's hair, and Jay leaned into the touch. "It's okay."
"It'll take me a while to completely recover," Jay admitted.
"I know it will."
"I don't know how long. Maybe the rest of my life."
"I'll be right beside you."
For some reason, those five words, which would have instilled dread in Jay weeks ago, were now remarkably reassuring. Jay snuggled up closer to Luke, realizing that the big man didn't have a shirt on. It felt like he was curling up on a fur pelt, and somehow, it was okay. An old poem came to mind that made him smirk:
Would you like to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err with her
On some other fur?
He inhaled through his nose, the smoky-musky-sweaty-salty scent instilling a feel of safety and security. Instinctively, Jay wrapped his arms around Luke's neck and nuzzled against his massive beard. "Luke?" he asked, cautiously.
The big man turned his head to gaze down at him.
Jay hesitated, and then asked, "Will you stay with me?"
"I'll be right across from you," Luke assured him, softly. "I'm not going anywhere."
"No. What I mean is..." Jay struggled to find the proper words. "Will you...will you...share the bed with me tonight?"
Luke felt a thrill pass through him, and his heart skipped a few beats. He was willing to wait as long as it took for Jay to feel comfortable enough to sleep in the same bed with him—not intimately, of course, that could wait—but wrapped in his massive arms, sleeping comfortably and feeling safe. But suddenly, that selfish desire was much closer than he'd ever thought possible. Of course, Jay couldn't see the smile that slowly spread across Luke's face, but he could heard the kindness in his voice. "Yeah. If that's what you want."
"It is." A relieved sigh escaped Jay's lips as he moved over to the opposite side of the bed so that Luke could lie down on the mattress. Once the big man was situated, Jay wriggled up close and nuzzled against his unruly beard. Luke could feel the tension leave the older man's body and heard his breathing slow.
"Luke?" Jay asked after a pause.
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're here."
Luke pressed a gentle kiss against the side of Jay's head, breathing in the clean scent of his hair. "Hey, I'm in this for the long haul, Jay."
A yawn squeezed Jay's eyes into slits. "Thank you," he managed, before drifting back to sleep, his last thought being, I like how his lips feel...
~~~ANGEL~~~
Morning greeted Luke with bright sunshine and a cool breeze, the lingering result of another downpour that struck in the middle of the night. Briefly, he wondered why he was in his bed-he'd given Jay the bed to sleep on, and he was sleeping on the cot-but then he remembered the reason, and a little grin crossed his lips. He let out a loud yawn and scratched at his beard, and then launched himself into a full-body stretch, his joints popping in response.
Absently, Luke's hand reached across the mattress. Empty. No limbs to bump into. No arms around his neck. A coppery taste filled his mouth, and his heart raced. Jay's absence jolted Luke into complete wakefulness. He leaped out of bed, rushed out of the bedroom and darted down the hall.
In the bathroom, Jay was brushing his teeth. After hearing the pounding outside the door, he nudged open the bathroom door and poked his head out into the hallway. "What on Earth are you stomping around for?"
Luke glanced in the direction of the bathroom, his eyes wide. "How in blue hell did you wind up there?" he gasped in astonishment.
Jay shrugged. "I climbed out of bed and walked."
"It's...there's not a lot of light in the hallway, and it's all cluttered-" Luke sputtered.
Jay gently cut him off. "I can see enough now to know where I'm going. And Bray had a little bit to do with that," he added with a small grin. He remembered the encouragement Bray had given him the night before while Luke and Erick were out;
"Come on, Jay. I know you can make your way down this hall without anyone holding your hand. And you can probably make it downstairs too, for that matter."
"I'm not sure I can make it down the hall."
"Why not? You look pretty able-bodied to me."
"What if I step on something sharp, or I trip, or I crash into something?"
"If you do, then you do. And then you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Luke's not always gonna be at your side, Jay. You know that's the nature of our job. Sooner or later, you'll have to put on the big boy pants and stand on your own when you need to...
"Lao Tzu said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So begin that journey, Jay, and take that step..."
"So I climbed out of bed this morning, barked my shin on your desk, stubbed my toe on the dresser, and staggered down the hall into the bathroom, where I bumped my hip on the edge of the sink." Jay let a dorky little grin cross his face. "Aside from a couple of bumps and bruises, I'm no worse for wear."
Luke had to swallow a laugh. Jay's description of how he made it to the bathroom was too funny.
The look on Jay's face was that of mild impatience. "Bray's making breakfast this morning, so we better get dressed pronto."
"I'm still helping you down the stairs." Luke insisted gently, shaking his head.
~~~ANGEL~~~
Breakfast was simple; Bray was a decent cook, so long as it was nothing elaborate. Fried eggs, toast, orange juice, coffee. Luke and his companion stuffed their breakfast down in a comfortable silence and then headed to the shed to join Erick and Bray for morning devotionals.
Today, Bray decided to tell a personal story:
"I was raised in Lafayette, Louisiana. My daddy was the captain of his own shrimp boat. I hated my daddy. He was a mean, vicious old man. My momma died giving birth to me, and my daddy blamed me for her death. He pulled me out of school when I was eight years old. He didn't think I needed to learn with the other kids. He put me to work on his boat straight away. I was unpaid labor, and I think it was his way of punishing me for merely existing. But then randomly one day my daddy's boat caught on fire. And it sunk him down in the Gulf of Mexico with it.
"After that, I went away to live with my uncle and my aunt on this very property. My aunt was a retired schoolteacher, and she taught me to read. I started out with 'See Spot Run'. And then it was 'Clifford the Big Red Dog'. And then it was The Good Book mostly after that. I helped my uncle on this farm growing up. He taught me a lot of things. And I learned a lot of things. I learned how this world likes to throw away little white trash peons such as myself. My uncle always said I was important, 'cause God don't make no junk. And let me tell you something: I ain't white trash. And I ain't a little peon either. I'm important. God never, ever makes junk. He creates people and things for a reason.
"I was created for a reason. Everything that's happened to me happened for a reason. You were created for a reason. And everything that's happened to you happened for a reason as well.
"This promised land has become the seat of depravity, idolatry, murder and secret combinations. And because of all of that, mixed in with excess pride and self-righteousness, this country's devolved into the most wicked and depraved of all the nations of the earth. And this nation seeks, along with all the others, to bring the whole earth into complete subjection, and the iron yoke of bondage and servitude, misery and death. And all this for power and gain and popularity and to satisfy all the lusts of the flesh.
"Because of that, the world needs men like me, people like me. People like us. The masses have no idea. They don't know me but I know myself, and I know God. People like me, like us, we're the creators. The ones that bring the change, unite the masses and bring down the fist . That fist is change, and the masses are terrified of change..."
~~~ANGEL~~~
Lunch was beef stew, the canned variety, a slice of bread, and the now ubiquitous canned pears with cinnamon. "Maybe if you're up to it later," Luke ventured, cautiously. "We could go into town and do laundry and go grocery shopping. Then we could go for some takeout. There's a place in town that's not a chain place, and they serve really good fried chicken and ribs."
Jay's eyes widened. The thought of going back out into public thrilled him...but at the same time, it put butterflies the size of condors in his stomach. "What if someone recognizes me?" he asked, surprised at how timid his voice sounded.
Luke tilted his head to the side. "You're worried about someone recognizing you?"
"If I'm supposed to be sick and in the hospital, wouldn't it look odd to see me tooling around with a big hairy guy doing laundry and picking up takeout?"
Luke let out a snort of laughter. "I don't think people will recognize you 'round here. You'd be incidental. And they'd probably see me first and head for the door."
"Why would they do that?"
"When people see me, they act like I'm wondering how they'd taste with hot sauce," Luke shrugged. Jay busted up laughing and nearly choked on the bite of canned pear in his mouth. "It's why I try to go shopping when it's not so busy."
Jay managed to swallow his bite of pear before he spoke. "I still can't get my head around the fact that you go into town to shop."
"We have to. With our schedules as busy as they are now, the WWE and all, it's almost impossible to be self-sufficient. Bray and Erick and I, we do as much as we can, but sometimes it feels like a losing battle, as you can clearly tell." Luke studied Jay's expression. He could almost hear the wheels turning in the older blonde's head and added. "And you have to go back to Florida to settle your affairs as soon as you're able, so none of us will have much time for upkeep."
"Until I come back," Jay chimed in, a shy grin crossing his lips.
Until I come back. Luke felt his heart lighten at the sound of those four little words. "You really consider this your home now, don't you?"
"Well...yeah," he shrugged, before he went back to eating his lunch. After being so far removed from technology, his cats, the people who he thought were his friends, and other responsibilities, Jay now found his needs and priorities becoming much simpler. He had three square meals a day. A real bed with a pillow and soft blankets. Hot running water and a radio and books. He had a family—unconventional, but a family nonetheless—whose members were willing to do whatever it took to protect and heal him. And most importantly, he had people in his life now who genuinely loved him.
He briefly wondered if he could bring his cats here to the compound, but then he killed the thought. In this untamed, rural place, they wouldn't last a day; he knew that deep down. Besides, his housesitter was quite fond of them and often joked about taking them home with her. Better to give his fur babies to someone he knew would love and take care of them and keep them safe.
I have so many things I need to take care of when I go back to Florida, Jay realized. Sell my home, make arrangements for my cats, go through what I wanna take with me...but I shouldn't have to worry about that right now. We have more immediate matters to take care of.
I'm running out of clean clothes, for one. And two...barbecue actually sounds pretty good for supper.
"Hey, Luke..." Jay asked. "When do you wanna head into town?"
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Kinda felt like I just tacked the last few lines of this chapter without thinking of the story flow. Of course, I'm my severest critic, so maybe it reads better than I think it does. Bray's devotional sermon was from WWE NXT from March 15, 2012, and Monday Night RAW from June 17, 2013, mixed in with the controversial religious text that I mentioned in the previous book of this series.
BTW, if you're wondering where the "veeeery interesting" comment came from, look up Arte Johnson and Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In on Youtube. I was watching Laugh-In re-runs when I was five or six years old (1980-something), and some of the lines from that show stuck with me to this day!
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