Vladimir P.O.V.
Someone knocked at my door. I didn't bother to answer, because the door was unlocked as usual, and either way I could not care less of these people outside.
A tall man entered the room. He was pale, dark-haired, and tired-looking. He had big blue eyes, and very long lashes, and I could feel pain and sorrow by the he looked at me, but I did not care. I didn't want any trouble, and also, I knew that man pitied me, so I actually kinda hated him.
He stood still in the door, not knowing what to do, and for a moment he doubted. But that were just only seconds. Although, they felt like ages to me.
He finally entered the room, and locked the door which made me feel trapped and uncomfortable, but I guess that didn't matter to him.
He sat on my bed, staring at me, trying to feel confident, although I knew he was a bit scared by my looks, or maybe by me, or just the situation...I really don't know.
I waited for him to tell me why he was here, but he didn't say a word, so I lit up another cigarrette and killed the time. Eventually he gasped, and started his discourse. I could tell by they way he moved he had practised this speech. Ugh, the guy that was supposed to treat me was a youngster, he was my age, and was terrified by me.
Um...we actually...the doctors and I...we discussed...- he sounded nervous and sweat covered his smiled to me like wanting reassurance, but well, I'm not the kind of person who smiles, so I jsut gave him an awkard look. He continued, now speaking fastly and moving his hands frantically while he gave desperate looks for the door- We though it w-w-would be g-g-good for you to make..hmmm...group the- therapy...- he exhaled relieved.
Group therapy? That wasn't that big of a deal.
The guy looked at me one last moment, and with a last deep breath he disappeared by the door.
So they actually thought that I was going to speak in that therapy for weird people? Hella no, I was not weird, I was mad, and depressed and I knew it. But...I could think of this as an expermient, I could analyze the subjects and observe them, and made conclusions about them and hypothesis. It'd be fun.
That night came early, in winter at 6 it became dark, and I was exhausted that day. Stars shone brightly in the dark cold night. I was totally totally besotted by the night's sounds, the colors...the pale moon, the sky that was now mid-purple mid-black, the trees that were actually now totally rotten and with the trunk twisted by the northern's winds force.
I went to bed early, I bet it was at nine, but I cannot be sure since I don't have a clock in my room. I hate clocks because they tell me what time it is, and I don't actually think time can be measured. In fact I hate to recognise it, but it's kinda like an obsession with not thinking of what time it is. I think it's because then, probably I'll suddenly realize that I have wasted all my life. But that doesn't matter anyway.
I tried to sleep but my mind was rushing. I couldn't think clearly...everything was suddenly so...dizzy...I felt like I was drunk...it was sick!
Eventually I fell in a deep sleep, and nightmares began. Blood, horror and terror filled my mind. And the screamings began...tears running through my face...the feeling of not being able to breath...I was seeking the morning...desperate...anxious...and a screamed started to form in my throat...