TRTSS43: Tales of Ranma Who! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, Trek, DW and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre story. C&C are welcomed.
Special Note: This story takes place during the events of the Seventh Series of "Doctor Who".
Part 4: "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship!"
Captain's Log, Stardate: 44010.4. While the Enterprise-D is undergoing major repairs at McKinley Station, a planetoid-size ship is on a direct course for Earth. All contact with the vessel has, thus far, met with silence. With the main fleet stretched thin, thanks to the recent Borg incursions, Starfleet Command has given orders that if contact has not been made soon, the unknown vessel is to be destroyed. Given the nature of present circumstances, I will have no choice but to comply with this order, should no contact has been made.
I guess my visit to see family, as part of my personal recovery, will have to wait, until the crisis has been dealt with.
"We are ready to de-couple from McKinley Station," said Ensign Wesley Crusher, as his fingers danced across the console panel.
"Excellent," Captain Picard said, as he sits in his seat. "Status report, Mister Data."
"All systems are functional at nominal levels, captain," said the android Mister Data. He then turned towards his superior officer.
"But considering the fact that our sensors scans have yet to penetrate the hull of the unknown vessel, I would not recommend that we engage the craft at this time," Data said.
"Believe me, I know what you mean," Picard said. He then turned towards Ship's Counselor.
"Counselor Troi?" Picard asked.
"I am sensing multiple life signs, captain," said the Betazoid. "But I do sense strong emotions."
"Options, Number One?"
"Definitely, we should investigate the matter, but considering the level of threat we might be dealing with, we definitely should have all options on the table," said William Riker. "And Data is right; if this mystery ship is a threat, we don't know if we are capable of countering it, at our present state."
"Agreed," Picard mused. ."Mister Crusher, engage-"
Just as he was about to give the order to de-couple from the repair station, a blue Police Box suddenly appeared in the middle of the Bridge.
"Captain!" said Security Officer Tasha Yar, as she and Worf made their move.
"What devil is this?" Riker asked.
"Fascinating," Data said, as he began a scan of the object with his Tricorder. "It appears that this object is a space vessel of some kind."
"It looks like a 20th century Police Box," Picard said.
"Sir?" Troi asked.
"These boxes exist through London, mostly as nostalgia artifacts, although they are in working order as communication sub-stations," Picard said.
"Then why do we have one here?" Riker asked.
As if on cue, a thin man wearing a bow-tie and tweed jacket steps out of the police box.
"Um, hello," said the man, as he looks around the Bridge. "I apologize for this rather evasive intrusion, but I received an emergency signal from-"
Just then, Ranma and Usagi appear on the Bridge, appearing as if they were running.
"Doctor, you were supposed to meet us in one of the cargo bays," Ranma said, before he stopped suddenly.
"I was off a bit," the Doctor said. "Sue me."
"If there was a monetary system in this era, I might do that."
Picard was observing the situation, even as Riker motions Tasha withdraw. Obviously, the crew of the Enterprise-D was about to be involved in a rather interesting adventure involving two of his command crewmembers.
"Mister Saotome," Picard said as he turned towards Ranma. "Care to explain all this?"
"Certainly, sir," Ranma said. "But, I rather do so in the conference room, due to a, um, need to know sort of thing."
"Starting with me needing to know what the hell is going on," Picard said. He turned towards Riker. "Number One? You have the Bridge…"
A short time later…
"So, let me get this straight," Picard said, as he sat in his designated chair in the conference room. "My officers know you as a time traveling, multi-tasking specialist known as a 'Time Lord'."
"That is correct, captain," the Doctor said.
"But you are a future incarnation of the man they knew."
"Correct. I first met them during my fourth incarnation, but they've known me since my first."
"Paradox?"
"More life 'destiny fulfillment'. My fourth incarnation insured that my first met them."
"And you and Usagi met the Doctor while tending advanced university of some kind?" Picard said, as he turned towards his officers.
"Yes, sir," Ranma said. "Usagi and I attended an inter-dimensional school known as 'Illuminati University', located inside a nexus zone where all of space and time converged at one point."
"I was an exchange student at the time, hailing from my home planet of Gallifrey," the Doctor said with a grin. "Go 'U-o-G'!"
"What did you study?" Riker asked Saotome.
"Temporal Mechanics, mostly," Ranma said. "Usagi and I were sponsored to attend IoU by an alien named Xerxes, whom we worked for at the time."
"Nice chap, even if his people were decidedly not," the Doctor said, as he made a face.
"Pardon?" Picard asked.
"Time Lords and Time Raiders were the yin-yang of masters of Time and Space in the Universe," Usagi said. "Ranma and I worked for Xerxes in exchange for our services as a Temporal Warrior and Temporal Wizard respectively."
"You studied magic?" Riker said incredulously.
"Yes, William," Usagi said.
"Magic isn't real, you know."
"What do call what Q does?" Ranma asked. "All a mage is having the ability to manipulate energy and perception of reality on an intuitive level."
"Humph," Riker replied.
"So, in conclusion, my officers summoned you because of…what?" Picard asked.
"They summoned me to investigate the situation because of your recent troubles of late, which I am so sorry for," the Doctor said.
"I see," Picard said, as he turned directly to stare at Ranma and Usagi. "Commanders, in the future, I would like it if you two would have consulted with me when requesting assistance. Is that clear?"
"Of course, sir," Usagi said.
"Yes, sir," Ranma said.
"Well, I believe that I have a case to solve," the Doctor said, as he was about to get up.
"Doctor, if I can make a request of you, I would like to have someone with you on this excursion of yours, besides the Saotomes," Picard said.
"Captain, normally I do not do tours, due to trust issues, but, since you and your fine crew saved the Earth from Cybermen-wannabes, I will allow it."
"'Cybermen'?"
"Um, they are like the Borg, another cybernetic race bent on universal domination," Usagi said hesitation.
"I see. Well, then, thank you for honoring my allowing for my request, then…"
Later, after a few more stops via the TARDIS…
"Okay," the Doctor said, as he paced back and forth. "We have a martial artist, a magical girl, and an android, an Egyptian queen, an English hunter, two of my favorite companions…and a Dad."
The Doctor turned to face Rory's father.
"Why are you here, again, Rory's father?" the Doctor said.
"Doctor, you're the one who teleported us inside your TARDIS, rather than call us first," Rory said.
"I do not like being kidnapped, whoever you are," Rory's father replied. "And my name is Brian Williams."
"Nice to meet you, Brian Williams," the Doctor said. "Hello, I am the Doctor."
"Humph."
Meanwhile, Queen Nefertiti was swooning all over Ranma, much to Usagi's chagrin.
"Do you mind?" Usagi said.
"No, I do not," said Nefertiti, as she touched Ranma's shoulders. "It's not every day that a queen of royalty is in the presence of a god, Mother-of-Us-All."
"Heh," Ranma said.
"I can't believe how even more egotistical Ranma is, compared to our Ranma," Amy said.
"You know us?" Usagi said.
"Well, yes, but, um…yeah," Amy replied, remembering what the Doctor said about temporal paradoxes.
"I certainly know you and Saotome, though under a different guise," said the English hunter, named Sir John Riddell.
"We do?" Ranma asked.
"Aye, we do," said Riddell. "Sir Allan Quatermain was my mentor, your friend, when I first became a big-game hunter…"
Pause.
"But I want to know WHO this person is…or what he is," Riddell said, pointing to an observing Data. "I've been all over the world, and I have yet to see someone like him. Is he from a land in the Orient?"
"My name is Data," Data said. "I was built by Dr. Noonien Soong as a facsimile of humanoids."
"Ah, an Indian robot, I see…"
"Well, if we are done with the introductions, I say we proceed with solving the mystery of this…place," the Doctor said. "Alright, come along."
"Doctor, what about my father?" Rory said.
"He's with YOU," the Doctor replied.
"Great, just great…"
A short time later…
"There're dinosaurs on this ship?" Brian said alarmed. Upon first entering the mystery ship, the Doctor and his companions came across some…dinosaurs.
"Dad, calm down," Rory said.
"How can I calm down if we're being chased by dinosaurs?"
"I think I can get one of them by the throat," Riddell said, as he flipped his big game knife.
"Allow me to deal with them," Ranma said.
"You don't have to show off, you know," Amy said.
"That presupposes the notion that I have something to prove," Ranma said in a cocky manner. "Observe…"
"Oh, Ranma, don't forget your 'Heavy Boots'!" Usagi said, as she pulls out of her "Murder Bag"- er, "Magic Bag", and tosses to her husband a pair of metallic gold and silver boots.
"Thanks," Ranma replied, as he catches the boots.
"I do not think that your footwear is conducive to your attempts to halt the movements of a Glyptodon, commander, let alone two," Data replied.
"All I need to do is get one to submit," Ranma said, as he flexed his muscles. "Beasts are still beasts, no matter the size or type."
"Yeah, you should have seen two dragons getting humbled, one time," Usagi said.
"'Dragons'?" Brian said, as his eyes twitched.
"Dad, calm down," Rory said. "I'm sure Bunny was saying a figure of speech."
"No, these were actual dragons, if I say so myself," Ranma said.
"If I recall, you used the 'Jusenkyo no Jutsu Technique' to not only turn the dragons into female dragonoids, but you also seduced them into being your wives," the Doctor said.
"Eh," Ranma said with a shrug. "They didn't mind."
"Then, what if that happened to you?" Amy said. She has never liked Ranma being such a womanizer.
"I'd still wear the pants in THAT relationship," Ranma said with a grin. "Heh."
Rory smiled at the comeback, only to get a glare from both Amy and Nefertiti.
"What?" Rory replied. "It was funny, you know…"
"Enough of this," Riddell said. "We have dinosaurs, remember?"
"Yes, my lord," Nefertiti said, as she nearly swooned. "Show me that legendary prowess of yours…"
"Right," Ranma said, as he leaps to a spot on the path of the dinosaurs. He then did a sumo stomp, and braced for the impact.
THOOM! THOOM!
"Show me what you got!" Ranma said, as he charged forward.
"RRROWL!" screeched the lead Glyptodon, as he increased his speed.
DOOOM!
Ranma managed to grab the outer shell of the creature, and stopped it cold. Needless to say, the beast was not the only one to be surprised by this.
"Amazing," Brian said. "What type of man is this?"
"He's not a man, he's a god!" Nefertiti said with a smile.
"Oh, please, get room," Amy said.
FLIP!
THOOM!
"And…scene," Ranma said, as he slapped his hands together. He then patted the head of his "opponent".
"There, guy," Ranma said. "It's okay, now…"
"Now, that we have taken care of that, we should find the nearest terminal to tap into," the Doctor said. "And that brings up your contribution, Mr. Data."
"It will be honored to assist you in this endeavor," Data replied.
"Doctor, we should not be stuck in one place, with these things running around," Riddell said.
"Which is why we will separate," the Doctor said. "Once we find the main terminal, and hack into it, we should look for the Bridge and Engineering…"
The Doctor turned towards Usagi.
"You, Sir Riddell, Queen Nefertiti and Amy will find the Bridge," the Doctor said. "If this ship has a crew, we need to know what happened to them."
"Right," Usagi said.
"Why do I have to be stuck with the women?" Riddell said.
"To watch their backs, since Usagi will be too busy doing her job."
"Humph."
"The rest of us will to find 'Engineering', since, according to the information that Mister Data has conveyed to us, this ship is 'offline'," the Doctor said.
"What use am I?" Brian asked.
"You're handy with tools, right?" the Doctor said.
"I am," Brian said proudly.
"Then, by all means, you are handy," the Doctor said. "The laws of science and technology are consistent throughout the Universe."
"Unless otherwise," Ranma said with a smirk.
"Even so, I need to the help."
"While we do the work."
"Just…just stop," the Doctor said. "I know what you're doing."
"'Cuz I'm doing it well?"
"Humph."
Upon finding a control panel, Data manages to hack into the ship's main frame. However, there was one problem…
"I am afraid that I cannot find more data than what is presented here," Data said. "Due to the ship's present state, it would be necessary to physically access auxiliary functions from both the Bridge and Engineering."
"I noticed that this ship has trans-matter capabilities," the Doctor said.
"Correct, although, at present, though at a limited level."
"Then it's settled," the Doctor said, as he turned to the others. "Data, Rory, I, Rory's father and Ranma head down to Engineering, via the trans-matter, while the rest of you proceed to the Bridge."
"Affirmative," Usagi said. She turned towards her party.
"Vamos," Usagi said.
"'Vamos'?" Nefertiti asked.
"It means 'we go' in Spanish," Riddell said.
"What is…'Spanish'?"
"I'll explain along the way," Amy said. She then turned towards her husband and her father-in-law.
"You two be careful, you hear?"
"Easier said than done," Brian replied.
"Okay, initiating beaming sequence," Data replied.
With that, the Doctor's party disappears in a flash of light…
"Okay, ladies, stay close to me," Riddell said.
"Why would I do so?" Nefertiti asked.
"Because, I am the game hunter, love," Riddell said. He then turned towards Usagi.
"Lady Ranshin, proceed," Riddell said.
"What did you call me?" Usagi said.
"Er, remember about time paradoxes and all that?" Amy said.
"My apologies," Riddell said. "It's just, from my point of view, Ranshin and Usashin are close friends, and, well, it's hard to forget that they have yet to know me, let alone meet me."
"Um, just how do you know me?" Usagi asked.
"You saved the life of my late wife, when she was given birth to my son," Riddell replied.
"Oh," Usagi said. "Well, I'll remember that, if there is an opportunity to do so, I guess…"
Upon being separated, the Doctor discovered that Engineering consisted of a bio-sphere that was powered by the energies of a habitat. In this case, it was an ocean.
"This…is…BRILLIANT," the Doctor said. "Low energy cost, but with an energy output that is just as great as any starship of its time."
"We could certainly utilize this type of design for long-term exploration, when moving entire civilizations from star system to star system," Data said, as he reads his data. "And from this reading, I believe we can alter the course of this vessel."
"How are we going to alter THIS?" Brian asked. "It's just water."
"And that's where I come in," Ranma said. "I can change the tides in such a manner that we could get the extra boost of energy."
"Right, and then Rory's father can help with the physical stuff," the Doctor said, as he uses his trusty sonic screw-driver to reveal another panel. "Like so…"
An entire wall disappears, revealing a mechanic's dream problem.
"Fascinating," Brian said, as his eyes lighted up. "What a piece of…junk!"
"Dad?" Rory asked.
"No, don't get me wrong, but trying to find something to do, since my retirement, has been annoying, to say the least," Brian said. "This entire gear shift is out of alignment, even though half of this I can't possibly understand…"
Brian then turns towards the Doctor.
"If I can use some assistance, I will gladly accept this challenge," Brian said with a broad smile.
"But you hail from another temporal zone," Data said.
"Data, brilliance is about thinking of new ways to do the same thing, not simply having the knowledge to do it," Ranma said. "Kind of like me and marital arts."
"I see now," Data said. "As Ambassador Spock once said, we must be able to thing non-linearly."
"Exactly," Ranma said with a smile. He then turned towards the Doctor.
"Okay, you, Data and Mister Williams fix the primary control function for the Engines, and I serve as the power augmenter."
"And what will I do?" Rory asked.
"Hold my coat, son, while I get to work," Brian said. "Unless, you want to help?"
"Dad, I'm a Doctor…now, not a Mechanical Engineer."
"Ha!" Ranma said, as he chuckled.
"Oh, come now," the Doctor said. "Let's remain professional…"
Hours later…
"Brilliant, just brilliant," the Doctor said, as he and everyone was being held hostage by a handicapped bounty hunter named Solomon. "We find out that this ship—and ark—belonged to the Silurians, thanks to Usagi and the others."
"And they are?" Brian asked.
"Reptile humanoids that dominated planet Earth before mammalian humanoids."
"Like the Xindi, but not at the same time," Usagi said.
"Huh. I still don't know what that means…"
"We learned that this human, named Solomon, tricked the Silurians into aiding him and his two robots, and killed them all, for the sake of selling the dinosaurs to the highest bidder," the Doctor continued. "Only, he forgot that he didn't know how to pilot this vessel…"
The Doctor turned towards an older man who needed medical attention.
"Is that right, Mister Solomon?" the Doctor said.
"Yes, except now, I have an authentic ancient queen, the legendary Queen Nefertiti and a Soong-type android," Solomon cackled. "Rare finds, if that."
"I am not your property!" Nefertiti replied.
" Nor am I," said Data.
"But you will, or my 'boys' will kill those who are not worth it," Solomon said. "And I doubt that your friend Ranma Saotome will be free from what he is doing at the moment, in time to save the lot of you."
The Doctor knew that the energy that Ranma was generating, by merely manipulating the ocean in one of the habitats alone, was doing its job in pushing the space ark into another trajectory, guided by the Enterprise-D's tractor beam. However, he had one ace that he knew Solomon did not count on…
"Did you say, Ranma Saotome?"
"Yes, him," Solomon said. "I seen him do his trick of his. I doubt that any of you are capable of defeating my boys."
"Yeah, we're tough!" said one mechanized soldier.
"There nothing on your Earth that can stop US, you know!" said another mechanized soldier.
"Okay, so, how about someone from Earth's moon?" the Doctor said. "Bunny?"
"What are you talking about?" Solomon began to say.
"SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Usagi screeched, as she emitted a concussive sonic blast that targeted Solomon's mechanized henchmen, shorting them out in process.
"Arrgh!" Solomon yelled, as he was about to take aim of his gun at Nefertiti, clumsily so, when Riddell aimed his stun riffle, and discharged it.
BLAM!
"Augh!" Solomon said, as he fell over.
"I believe, as Bunny would say, you're dusted," the Doctor said, thinking that Usagi could still use her very little-used sonic power known as the "Supersonic Wave Attack" without the need to transform into her sailor fuku...
Just then, Data's communicator signaled
CHIRP-CHIRP!
"Away Team here," Data said. "Go ahead."
"Inform the Doctor that the Silurian Ark has been placed in an orbiting trajectory," Picard said over the secured comlinks. "Congratulations are in order to him and his companions on a successful mission."
"I will convey that to them," Data replied. "Also, inform Commander Yar that we have someone who will have to be taken into custody for a number of crimes, including mass murder and theft."
"Thank you for that information. We will have a holding cell prepared for our guest. Enterprise: out."
"What will be done to the animals, Doctor?" Amy asked.
"I'm sure that we can deliver our precious cargo to Siluria," the Doctor said. "It's the least we can do for the crew of this ship…"
Captain's Log: Supplemental. With Solomon, his mech-robots and his vessel taken into custody, Starfleet will begin the process of examining the Silurian vessel. Although the find is of importance to the scientific community, the Doctor's wishes will be honored, which means that te Silurian "ark" will be prepared for its trip to New Siluria, located somewhere in the Delta Quadrant. It is my hope that these mysterious Earth cousins will see our attempt to return their precious cargo to them as a sign of good will.
As for the actions of my officers during this excursion, there are serious consequences to be deal with…
"I have to say that I am very disappointed in you two," Picard said, as he spoke to Ranma and Usagi in the Ready Room. "In spite of your success, I can't help but wonder if you do not trust me enough to confide in me about what you know and don't know about…stuff, for lack of a better word."
"Sorry about that, sir," Ranma said. "This was totally a last minute thing."
"It won't happen again, sir," Usagi replied.
"See that it doesn't," Picard said. "You two are dismissed…"
"Well, how did it go?" the Doctor said, as he was being escorted back to his TARDIS, now in a proper cargo bay.
"It is…what it is," Ranma said with a shrug.
"Don't worry about us, Doctor," Usagi said. "We'll be fine."
"Yes, right," the Doctor replied.
"So, what's next?" Ranma asked.
"Well, I will drop Sir Riddell and Nefertiti back to Riddell's time, for a start."
"Wait, Nefertiti is from the deep past," Usagi said.
"And, doesn't she have the hots for me or something?" Ranma asked.
"Well, you see, historically, Nefertiti disappeared from the history books," the Doctor said. "As for…well, you, she told me that why she appreciates you, she feels that she could never live up to your expectations as a possible mate. So, she decided to 'hang out' with a lesser and more available man."
"Riddell."
"You don't sound unhappy or anything."
"Riddell sounds like a good man," Ranma said. "About the others?"
"I'll be traveling with the Ponds for a bit, before taking them back home," the Doctor said.
"I still can't believe we'll end up meeting them in our future," Ranma said. "But, then again, with you, the timeline is never linear…"
Just then, Data jogs down the hall to catch up with the Doctor and his crewmates.
"Doctor," Data said.
"Ah, Mister Data, you're looking well," the Doctor replied. "What can I do for you?"
"I wanted to give you a gift, as a way of thanking you for being on an adventure with you," Data said, as he hands the Doctor an isolinear chip.
"Oh?" the Doctor asked.
"It is a first edition book on all my poems and music dedicated to my cat named Spot," Data said.
"Lovely," the Doctor said. "I will cherish this, maestro…"
With a nod, Data walks away.
"I'm surprised that you graciously took his gift," Ranma said.
"Of course I did," the Doctor said. "In the future, spoiler, Mister Data's book will become universally appreciated, especially amongst the Kaitians."
"Really?" Usagi said in surprise.
"Really. It's not every day that I receive a gift from a true master…"
Tbc.
Next Time: "A Town Called Mercy!"