Chapter 13: And I Drop a Rose Petal
Mamoru was nurturing by nature. When he was younger, he tried everything to squash that motherly side to him. It was only when he met Usagi, when he finally came to terms to it. She was his soulmate, he had to protect her, if he didn't, who would? Sure, her friends would sacrifice their lives for her, but what about their very souls? Would they be up for an eternity of hell for her, like he would? They didn't care for her, not like he did. He gave everything to make sure she lived. Every single thing he could offer, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. So, he tried again. With other people. People he would be able to protect. Former enemies, future friends. But he failed again, when Uranus came. She came and destroyed everything. All his hard work, all his friends, all his blood, sweat and tears.
Was he destined to fail? He failed at making her like him. She only hated him for teasing her and making fun of her. How else was he supposed to get her attention? She would never look at him. She would go on and her life would have been happy, but his wouldn't. Would he be so selfish as to torment the object of his intense infatuation? Yes, yes he was. He was so selfish, not even when he broke up with his Usako, did he let her go. He would never let her go. Not again. Not even if shards of glass tore out his eyes or his heart. She was his, forever.
Did some higher being hate him? He couldn't die swiftly, he had to listen to her sobs of pain. That foolish, happy-go-lucky alien whose assignment was to kill him. He was glad she didn't, if not for his life, then for the opportunity to meet her. She was perfect in every way. Well, almost every way. Her hair was blue instead(probably a failed dye job). Her eyes were off(it was the light, it was dim and everything looked off). Her face was narrower, her body thinner(it was because Mako-chan wasn't cooking as much, food was sparse). Her voice deeper(it was hoarse, they had to conserve water). She called herself a different name(she hit her head a bit too hard during the blast). She was still the same, still happy and bubbly and smiley. He didn't need to see the fading light in her eyes. Her violent outbursts meant nothing. He still cared for her, he still loved her. Nothing could change that.
There was a tiny part of his brain that was still sane, he knew that he had gone insane. The Earth spun out of control without its Moon. That tiny part said 'Go look for Usagi.'
But I don't need to, he said. She is right in front of me.
'That's not Usagi,' it said. 'You just want it to be.'
The hair is the same length! Usako messed up when she was trying to dye it so it turned blue. Her eyes are only like that because the sun's light is so dim now. She doesn't eat much, not anymore. That's why her face isn't a heart anymore. Her voice is tired! She needs more water than we can give! That is Usako, it has to be or I will surely die.
He wanted the star light to engulf him in its holy light. He wanted to sleep and never have to wake up again. But Usako kept him going, he would love her. Even if it wasn't her.