Chapter 2: The Xtremely kool advenxures: Maydelinn: A Parody Sue: Chapter TWO!
A/N: I will not abuse my word processor with bad spelling anymore (except for character names). Feel free to breathe a sigh of relief.
Madlelinn went to the ninja academy to be assigned teams, on the way there, she encountered Konohamaru and Naruto, giving them tips for their Oiroke no jutsu even though that contradicts the timeline. She then used the ultimate version of the Harem no jutsu on Ebisu when he came running in and referring to Naruto as an 'it' in his internal monologue, thus giving every man (and a large proportion of women) in the world a large nosebleed. Ibesu himself had such a large nosebleed that he flew off into space and hit the moon, before bouncing off it and falling back to the planet onto the Land of Waves, hitting Gateau as he did so, thus killing him. Incidentally, this made it impossible to use the Moons Eye Plan and the shockwave from Ebisu's return somehow finished building the bridge. It got called Great Naruto Bridge anyway.
At the academy, Iruka announced the teams.
"Team Seven will be Uzukaci Naruto, Mardelynn Adoynay Raven Ydona Sara Umbereto Evony and Uchiha Assuke. Sakura was removed because we felt her punching of teammates for humorous purposes was somehow violent, even though practically every female anime character does this."
As the team waited for thirty hours in a locked room for their sensei, a blue police box materialised, and Sherlock Holmes and the Winchester family went out, looked around in boredom and entered the TARDIS before it departed with a vworping sound.
21 hours after that, Kakashi walked in.
"Sorry I'm late. I was trying to think of a good excuse for being late and lost track of time. Well, why don't we go up to the roof and introduce ourselves?
"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like Maydeline nii-san and ramen. I suddenly hate Sakura for no good reason and am going to become a jerk in a failed attempt to become edgy."
"My name is Sasuke. I love Maydelyne and will abandon my ambition of killing my brother to marry her. I also like tomatoes."
"My name is Maidelin. My parents favoured me, faked their death and abandoned my brother to orphanhood and torture at the hands of the villagers because they thought I was the Kyuubi Jinchūriki. I also have every kekkai genkai imaginable and some that aren't. The reason I don't have the same surnames as my parents, Minato and Lily shall be promptly ignored. My parents granted my every whim but despite that I am not spoilt at all and am a perfectly sweet girl. Now skip the bell test because we obviously have perfect teamwork and I can't be bothered to go through that here since it'll involve you belittling me."
And with that our protagonist proceeded to teach Naruto that Kage Bunshin transmits memories to the creator. He then got a kool sword from the only person in the village who didn't hate him and spent thirty chapters in a training montage before remaining exactly as competent as he was in canon.
The next few weeks remained the same as they were in canon. Naruto and Sasuke did the exact same things as they would have otherwise, apart from the fact that Sasuke constantly flirted with Maideline. They then got a C-ranked mission: protect a bridge builder called Tazuna.
Maydenin saw the suspicious puddle and proceeded to use the water prison jutsu on the inhabitants. Kakashi praised his student for her excellence (not that he needed to, for saying she was excellent was akin to saying that fire is hot). They then proceeded to continue to Wave, only to see, when they were close to their destination, a white rabbit!
A/N: My update schedule will vary due to exams. Also, I am having severe difficulties thinking up unique misspellings for my OC.