Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, that aint gonna change. Don't bother suing.

"Speaking"

Thinking

"Demon speaking"

Demon thinking

'Technique'

Eating

Cleaning

Now that I've wasted half a page on that, let's continue our parody!

While he was walking down the road to Wave, Kakashi asked a question that he'd been meaning to ask for a long time. "Masegin, which of your names are your firs names, and which ones are your surnames? It's hard to tell."

"Since you ask, my first names are"

Maydlyn,

Adonya,

Raven and

Ydonna. My last names are

Sarha,

Umbarto and

Evoni. My parents thought that the first letters of my names were significant somehow. No idea why, since the Japanese language (the language we are speaking right now) has a completely different way of doing acronyms. Xièxie for asking."

"Xièxie is Mandarin Chinese. You meant Arigato." Said Kakashi, correcting Medeleine.

"That's impossible because I am perfect. Xièxie is Japanese because I said it is and I am never wrong, do you hear me Hatake-Teme!?"

"Wow! Even though you insulted me harshly and I should be punishing you, you are so attractive with your rudeness and general jerkiness that I will marry you as soon as you become old enough for it not to be creepy!"

Then they got on the boat to Uzu, exiting the featureless white void they were previously in.

Once they exited the boat, a white rabbit came bouncing towards them, but Maydeleneignen killed it immediately as she realised it was a trap. She then caught the kwl sword that flew towards her, never mind the fact that it was flying so fast it should have degloved her or something. However, she is so attractive (both in Helens and Gravitons) that her skin stayed on her instead of flying away.

She then beat up Zabuza Momochi, even though Momochi Zabuza was an elete ANBU and she was a genin. No one noticed this disparity, since she was obviously perfect. Just as she was about to strike the paralysing blow (since good girls don't kill) a male hinter-nin came and struck senbon in Zabuza.

"Why did you steal my kill?" asked madlen.

The hunternin bowed as she dragged her target away. "I apologise, but I have been tracking this man for a long time, and must retrieve him. Goodbye!" said he.

Immediately after, Kakashi was struck down by chakra exhaustion, since this plot is as railroaded as possible while keeping our magnificentious cerulean-orbed protagonist.

When they arrived to Tazuna's house, Inari immediately began his no-heroes rant despite this not should've happened for much longer. Then our female straw-haired kunoichi stopped him.

"You think you had a bad life? When I was a baby, my parents hated me and kept trying to kill me. As I grew older, they started hiring other people to do so for them. I lost count after assassination attempt number fifty-seven thousand, eight-hundred and six, when a weasel-masked man tried to dump me in hydrochloric acid for the fifth time when I was two months old. When I was three, my third father sacrificed his life to stop a two hundred and fifty six tailed beast from destrying the universe for the fourth time. Don't tell me heroes don't exist. Don't tell me you have the most tragic past in existence. You don't!"

Then she went up to her room to angst, pausing only to say "Zabuza's still alive, so we need to do a training montage starting tomorrow, making people assume that my teammates haven't been training super-extra-doubleplus-hard so they can achieve their goals. Also Naruto, even though Maito Guy and Lee Rock wear neon spandex and the person I replaced in this fic wears red, your orange jumpsuit which is actually normal clothes needs to be burnt and replaced with angsty black clothes, which will cause you to become a Naruto In Name Only (and eventually not even that, as you change your name to be edgy). You all understand that? Good. Bye!"