Journal of Two Winters

by VT Arkens

As winter sets in on Beforus, Vriska Serket, a top Imperial Agent, finds herself faced with a situation which throws her into a whirlwind of emotion, guilt, and uncertainty. But is the old saying true? It it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? And if so, does this apply to platonic love, as well?

4. Entry 4

Upon determining what action I would take regarding my guest who is running from the law, I sought out yet another old friend of mine. I understood very well the risks which came along with contacting her, 8ut I felt that the potential of putting her at ease would outweigh it all.

It is 8ecause of my good word that Terezi was a8le to rise in the ranks so quickly, ending up working closely with Feferi despite not knowing one another on a personal 8asis. Night would 8e fading soon, and I knew that I had to make haste if I wanted to return to my hive 8y sunrise. And even then, I was unsure if it would 8e safe to do so.

It all depended on her reaction.

I w8ed outside for longer than I'd have liked, entering her hive not a moment after her client had exited. Taken out 8y guards, chains around his neck and wrists. She must have found him guilty. She finds most everyone guilty of something or another. I knew very well that this could 8e my own f8 if I was not careful.

I was greeted with the lopsided, mildly frightening grin which has comforted me since I was young. More often than not, I wonder if perhaps my associ8ion with her has shaped me in ways which may put other off.

As I sat opposite her, I quickly and cautiously explained to her my situ8ion, revealing to her things which I had once sworn I would tell no one. I told her of my newfound dou8t in the justice system she held so dear to her heart, of my intention to lead my nameless companion to safety whether he accepted my assistance or not.

The silence was not unlike that after an execution, after the crowds have 8een cleared away and all that remains is the empty space soaked with 8lood. After a short eternity, Terezi asked me softly why I had come to tell her this. I very well could have lied, kept up the strong facade I have worked so hard to 8uild up for myself. 8ut I instead made a vow of honesty to myself, explaining to her that she has 8een, is, and always shall 8e my dearest friend, and that I would never want her to fear that something had happened to cause my demise. I did not mention that in doing this, that could very well 8e the case. She knew this already.

And this was what I had not expected.

Terezi stood, and for a moment I was certain that she was a8out to call for the guards, explaining that I was guilty of treason. 8ut instead she placed a hand on my shoulder, aqua eyes looking into mine from 8ehind red glasses. Her smile was unfamiliar. It was soft. Kind. Reassuring. She swore to me in that moment that she will remain 8y my side no matter what perils I endure, even if she must sacrifice her own st8 of living in the process.

We shared a laugh as she claimed that I would make a decent pir8.

I expected her to 8e furious, or in the 8est scenario to wish me well in my quest. Never could I have imagined that she would offer to actively assist me. The extent of her loyalty has gone unnoticed until this night.

I 8rought her 8ack to my hive, where my companion was quick to insist I tell him of the identity of she who followed 8ehind me. I can only assume that he has learned the sound of my shoes against the floor, or else he would have had no way of knowing that it was me. I allowed Terezi to introduce herself 8efore explaining to him the situation at hand and informing him that I would, and am, trusting Terezi with my life.I expected him to argue, to 8egin cursing insisting that he needed not our help. However, he only stared in her direction, his unseeing, pure red eyes filled with….. something. I was far too distracted to make an accur8 note of it. He nodded, and I st8d that we would leave first thing tomorrow evening.

I resume now from a lengthy pause in my writing after 8eing interrupted. Terezi has long since retired for the morning, so when I heard the soft knock on the door to my 8lock I knew just who it was. I allowed him inside, the 8ranch tapping lightly at the ground as he entered (I have offered more than once to replace it with something else, 8ut he declined). After leading him to a seat, I saw trace amounts of fear in his expression, not unlike that which had made up the entirety of his exterior on the night we met. He asked me in a hushed tone how much I knew. I told him.

The moment I 8rought up his 8lood, I saw his grip on the 8ranch tighten in anxiety. I continued to explain my recently acquired reconsiderations toward our laws. When this appeared to have no calming effect, I placed a hand on his arm, a8le only to hope that my smile could 8e heard in my voice. I assured him that he would 8e safe, and that I would do all that was in my power to 8e certain that I kept that promise. His own hand reached out now, fingertips gently resting on my face without 8othering to ask for permission- What a way to treat a lady, I mentally jested-and he gingerly searched my features. He must have 8een satisfied 8y the upward tilt of the corners of my lips, as he withdrew then and left me to return to my work.

I was certain that we only spoke for perhaps twenty minutes, 8ut 8y this time I can see that the sun has risen high, and I estim8 it to 8e a8out midday. We must have held convers8ion for hours on end. I find it odd that two individuals, having met only 8y chance, can connect in such a way that they will risk their lives for one another- And this applies to 8oth Terezi and myself. I have always valued my own a8ove all else, and yet we plan to depart in only hours on a journey which will put it at risk for the sake of another's.

I can only hope that my luck will remain fortun8.