"Vega, the Lyre"
Summer Triangle
Scene 2
Tea and Honey
"I'm back." I slung my bag on my chair and slumped on my bed. Peering my head to the bed opposite my own, I called,
"Tra, you're awake?" Rustles of the bedsheet and blankets made their noises and soon a figure of a medium-length-haired girl stared back at me.
This girl is my roommate. From Vietnam.
"Oh.. Hanny, you're home? Where were you going?" She said groggily.
"Out, to play." I replied shortly, feeling a bit guilty for waking her up.
"Oh.. Play what?" She mumbled as she returned to the position when I found her just now.
"Drama," I said, "Acting, just a stupid act," I quickly added.
Hearing no reply from her, I concluded that she was now back to her slumber. I tossed to my left side and read the time on my small, pink alarm clock.
Seven fifteen... Dinner will end on seven forty five. I'm not that hungry...
"Tra, you wanna go down for dinner?" I called.
"No." She muttered softly from under her blanket.
"Okay then." I said as I sat up and streched my tired arms.
"Are you going?"
"No, I'm just going to take a shower." I answered without looking at her.
She didn't respond anything.
I glanced at her, then stood up and took my clothes, putting it on my small, blue bag that I used to put my things when I showered. I opened the door slowly and gently, not wanting to wake Tra up, closing it in the same manner and strode out to the common bathroom. It wasn't like my room didn't have a shower that I had to go out and take a bath in the common bathroom. The hot water broke.
And I never like a cold shower.
Even on hot days, which what led Tra to call me cold girl. She also said my hands are always cold too. And when I smiled at her warmly and said, "Cold hands means warm personality," she interjected,
"I know you are acting," then added "I knew you long enough to say that."
Which made me instantly lost my concentration and my face expressionless.
"Sometimes I wonder when will I see you cry real tears," She commented airily.
I didn't reply her. I just looked down and keep my face impassive.
She cupped my face in hers and I didn't respond anything. She said,
"Why an emotionless person like you exist, I could never understand," she chuckled, "Totally opposite of me-"
"With." I corrected.
"Yeah, with me. Who cried almost everyday on almost everything." She released her hand on my face, and continued, " I mean, when you broke up with your 2 years long boyfriend you didn't cry. But I did with my 5 months boyfriend. How come?" She talked with her newly formed bad habit. Long term effect of living in Singapore.
"Complete sentence, no Singlish please." I replied flatly.
"I mean, how come we are so different? How come you are so emotionless?"
I just averted my gaze and mumbled quietly,
"I also don't know..."
Warm, thick vapour starts to fog in the small pink compartment. The warm water of the shower drips on my face - giving me a really nice calming, burning sensation. The heat is perfect. Every drip seems to penetrate deep into my skin, relaxing my tense face muscle and set my face calm and complacent. Beads of hot water joined to form a pool and slide down my face to my chest, and to my feet.
Emotionless huh?
Not really...
I just...
Don't like to show my emotion..
No, not anymore.
I don't know what happened to me and why so suddenly, I changed. Back then, in my previous school I was perfectly fine. Normal, like any teenage girl of my age. I have quite a lot of friends, couple of best friends, a loyal boyfriend, close knitted siblings and loving parents. I also actively participated in any of the school programmes. I joined student organisations in school, both the prefectorial board and my CCA (co-curricular activities), the theatrical club. I held quite a high position in both, vice president of the prefectorial board and president of the theatrical club. Not just in school, I also became the treasurer in my church organisation. I was always busy with my phone, managing different group chats and occasionally answering phone calls from a friend, or their parents. Meeting variance people everyday. Being on meetings to find the best solution of problems unlike one another. Leading diverse groups for orientations. Planning camps and activities for them. In doing these things, I noticed that there are common traits between these particular people despite them coming from groups of contrasting communities. Soon enough, I learned to group those different people based on their blood types. Observing them closely for any similar behaviours and taking into account that having different backgrounds may mold them into distinct people. I was able to find a common key to open the various locks. And I know how do things in a way that is to their liking. Basically, I learn how to please them.
Ever since I was young, I was always fascinated by the irregularity of human reactions when they are facing life challenges. But as their behaviours became predictable. I started to lose my passion there.
They become uninteresting.
Boring.
It's not fun anymore
Naive you may call me if I said that human is boring because I know them inside out. However I felt that I had associated with them too much, that even without thinking, their reactions are there in my mind even before I think of my response. This skill - or ability you may call it - is not a talent. I never believe in talents, there's only hard work - and maybe in my case, I didn't feel like I did any hard work because I enjoyed the process. So now I seem to be good at this naturally. Isn't it normal to feel bored when you are good at things?
On second thought naive is not the correct word to describe me. You can call me arrogant.
But I prefer jaded.
"Hanny? Is that you inside?" A cheerful familiar voice of a girl called me. My brain recognised her pretty voice as Summer's voice. Frowning because my shower was interrupted, I replied,
"Yeah, it's Summer right?" Stupidly asking a question when I already knew the answer. I didn't need to make sure but I just want to go with her flow.
"Yes it's me!" She exlaimed bubbly, followed by a sweet giggle.
So girly, I thought.
"So um, are you finishing up soon?" She said with a smile on her face, that even a blind person could guess from her way of giggling on the end of every sentence.
"Yes actually," I said halfway while I packed my things inside my blue shower bag, "I'm done-"
"Kyaa!" She squealed.
I just stared, impassive expression on my face.
For one or two seconds, I looked down my body just to make sure that I already put my clothes. Nothing was wrong...
Did I just swung the door to fast...?
Or is it just her that loves to scream so much...?
"So-sorry if I startled you" I looked away and spoke apologetically.
"No, no, no it's ok," she giggled, "I'm just a bit shocked," and giggled again.
"Ah.. Okay then." I said as I made my way out of the bathroom. When I was already outside, I heard her shouting,
"Love your curly hair Hun!"
My jaw dropped and I turned my head to the source of voice and shouted back,
"Ye-yes thank you!"
Then mentally scolded myself why I said yes.
Awkward, I thought.
But I cannot help myself smiling.
I strolled to the pantry and opened the refrigerator. I picked a carton milk without choosing because I knew that only myself loved to drink milk. I tilted my head up and greedily gulped down the milk but then stopped halfway.
I don't think I ever bought a strawberry milk.
I took another sip just to make sure that my tounge was right. Yes it is strawberry.
...
I scanned the front part of the carton milk...
And saw weird strokes of Chinese characters.
...
And the word "Summer X9" below it.
Shoot.
I took the milk with me to the open window where I could see a bright night sky.
I'll apologise her later...
...
Strawberry is not bad...
Gazing at the night sky, I felt a sense of nostalgia swept through and their respective stars remained in the same position every year. The sky I admired right now was exactly the same as the one I saw one year ago. When I first moved in this hostel.
I still have feelings.
I came to Singapore to study. The same reason Tra, Summer, and 7 other scholars that lived on this floor have. We came from different country. On our first meeting, our names sounded funny to each other, with different meanings in every different language . Like how my name does not really have any meaning in my own languange but sounded like english word for Honey and so to make them remember my name, I always introduce myself as,
"Hanny,"
"Hanny, like the bee's honey."
On the other hand, Tra's name meant tea in her language but didnt have any meaning in mine. She once told me that her parent gave her that name because she always quiet and polite when she was little and thought that she would grow up continue to be sweet and gentle. I think their prediction went wrong. For every recollection that I have about Tra had the word 'vivacious' attached on them.
While for Summer, actually it is not her her real name. It was just that Tra and I kept repeating "Huh?", "Sorry can you repeat that again?", and "Did I say your name correctly?" when we tried to pronounce her name. Then she laughed uneasily and said,
"Maybe you can call me Summer. My name in Chinese means Summer, because I was born in the beginning Summer!"
So since that time Tra and I called her Summer, but the other scholars who were confident enough in pronouncing her name still called her with her Chinese name.
In the end we all become friends. Maybe because we all have the same purpose now.
Every one of us want to become better. Almost everyone here was under a different scholarships. Most of got to study here because of the thing called Direct School Admission (DSA). In my case I was chosen because they said I have talent in acting. I was from an acting school so you can't expect me to be good in my academic scores. I was still struggling to get all As unlike those other scholars who came under DSA because they won math, sciences, or chess competitions. Luckily my school didn't really force me to get all As in my report book. As long as I wrote scripts, acted in almost every performance and directed the other younger students during CCA they didn't mind my academic score. Good things for me, they were my daily homeworks in my previous school.
It wasn't hard for me to serve my purpose as a student who came under DSA in drama.
The hardest part for me was when I thought theatrical act and drama act were the same thing. The latter was what I was expected to be able to do, but the former was what I was taught back then. Sigh. My act was not, and was never meant to be funny. It was meant to move the audiences' hearts. But they made me wrote scripts that I thought to be kindergarten school's script. They said they didn't need any tearjerking stories. They wanted 5 to 10 minutes skit. When what I did was usually ranging from 1 to 3 hours.
Anyway that was my problem. I needed to be able to do that to retain the scholarship so I studied hard and adapted somehow. At first, language was a problem because English wasn't my first language. It was so hard to do impromptu act in a language that was foreign to me. Somehow I pushed through and here I am right now. Currently enjoying my days in the 'relax' state but not 'very relax' state. At least I could go out during weekends to do real act.
Life was never easy for me but neither did it for Tra or any other scholars. We lived far from our parents. Luckily we had friends living together with us. Someone we can cry together with, they said.
I finished my - scratch that. I mean - Summer's strawberry milk and I gazed for the last time at the clear, dark sky. It made me remembered a poem that I once wrote.
Learning constellations is like joining the dots to form a bigger picture. Yes a picture that once my ancestors drew on the big black canvas.
And I laughed.
That was not a poem.
When I returned to my room, I tidied up my bed, put my things on its respective place, charged my phone, turned off the room lights and on the bed light.
As I was preparing to sleep, I saw Tra sleeping on her bed while her blanket fell on the floor. I sighed and being a good friend that I always was, took the blanket and tucked her in. She rustled a bit then mumbled,
"Hanny..."
"Are you dreaming?" I said gently, but intoned with sarcasm, ready to go back to my place if she wouldn't going to response.
But she surprisingly replied,
"I've been thinking."
"Thinking? About what?" I spoke with my softest voice while stayed in my position, close to her.
"About you."
"About me?"
"I think you are lonely."
Lonely?
"You mean lovely is it?" I joked with a smooth chuckle.
"No, I'm serious. I think you're lonely."
"...?"
Am I lonely?
"I think I am okay. I could never be lonely. I have you and Summer," I smiled and put a strand of her smooth black hair back behind her ear.
"..."
I wish you would explain to me.
"I'll take that as yes. Good night." I stroked her head one last time and stared at her for a good thirty seconds to make sure that she was really sleeping then left to my bed.
That night I stared at the ceiling, thinking while soft, orange light coveted the room. I laid my eyes at the night light that Tra bought for my birthday two years ago. It has the shape similar to a globe with surface dotted by safety pins for light to pass through. Those spots were made according to the night sky constellation. I laughed silently when I recalled Tra wearing bandage aids on her fingers and lied that she was learning to play guitar.
...
Lonely huh?
I put the thoughts aside and gazed at one well-lit points directly above me and try to figure which constellation does it belongs to...
A star on top of a four sided diamonds.
Vega, the Lyra?