A Cry for Help

Both Sam and Ashley continued on their pattern for a few more hours, wiping out the complete list the first, sexy crossroads demon gave them. Ashley was drained physically and emotionally by the tenth demon she knifed in the chest. She fell on the dirty ground once her most recent victim had stopped glowing and sparkling at her feet.

This is not the person I want to be for Tara she thought as she took another gulp out of the large flask tucked into her bra. I am a mother, not a killer. What's wrong with me? "I should check on Sam" she slurred as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket she was sitting on.

Yeah her brother's voice came through the speaker.

"You good over there?" she asked as she opened the top on her flask again.

Yeah, got them all done with minor scratches. You got everything done too?

"Yeah," she answered once she swallowed the latest mouthful "am I on speaker?"

No, why?

"Good. Sammy, I'm not doin' too good right now" she sniffled. "I need help, but I don't want Ben knowing."

Sure, I'll walk back and pick up the car. I'll have Ben wait by the phone.

"Thanks Sammy" she whispered before hanging up the phone.

Ashley was almost brought to tears again when she saw Sam running towards her. She had finished off her entire flask, but the adrenaline from killing ten demons and finishing the case kept her brain focused. She still held the angel blade tight, but it wasn't out of fear or for defense, and Sam knew the reason as soon as he got close enough to see the silver stained red blade.

"Ash, you're safe, drop it" he coaxed as he tried to keep all inclination of terror out of his voice. Sure, he has done this with his sister tons of times- even once after he left for Stanford, but this was the first time he had no one to fall back on if he needed to. "Come on, you don't need something sharp in your hand right now" he begged as he closed his own large hand over her smaller fist.

"I broke, Sammy" she sobbed as she looked down at his hand over hers.

"What? You, did you make a deal?" he shrieked, now completely mortified that he couldn't save Ashley this time. "Please tell me-"

"- no Sammy, I didn't," she answered before he could finish begging "but I almost did. I almost left Justin and Tara without a mother, almost made Ben lose another one to a demon!"

Sam felt every muscle relax under his now clammy skin and sank down to sit next to Ashley. "Almost doesn't count" he whispered as he pulled her into his side. "I've almost killed you, almost left my family thousands of times, and almost gone crazy. But here you are, here I am, and no straight jacket- doesn't mean anything, but a story to add to our collection."

Sam was right, Ashley just wasn't thinking about it that way. She drowned her fears of failure in hot whiskey, which only added to the fire. The fear boiled over once the last demon fell to the ground and consumed the last bit of rationality she had. "Alright" she sniffled as she relaxed her hand under Sam's. "Okay."

"Good" he sighed as he removed the blade from her open hand. "You ready to get out of here?"

He didn't wait for an answer or even an acknowledgement before he tucked the blade into his inside jacket pocket and picked Ashley up bridal style to go back to the car. She fell asleep almost as soon as Sam started driving. Crisis adverted he praised himself once he saw Ashley's sleeping face on his lap. I'm not ready for this...I'm not ready to be figure head for this family. We are too fucked up for my ability. As Sam parked the car, he saw Ben run out, worried about what was going on with Ashley. "She's fine" Sam told Ben as he carried Ashley into the room.

"What happened?" Ben asked as he closed the door behind Sam.

"Just lost control for a second, emotions clouded her judgments" Sam answered frankly. Ashley had asked him not to tell Ben, but Sam felt it was important for everyone to be on the same page. He wouldn't tell Ben everything, that was Ashley's place, but Sam did explain how she almost made a deal and was very upset about that.

"But she didn't" he rationalized. "She's not at fault!"

"She knows that now" Sam smiled as he turned on the TV. "You pick."

Sam and Ashley took the afternoon to make sure the case was finished and the list of victims the hunky demon gave them was unhappy and alive. Ashley could feel Sam's eyes watching her every move, and it was starting to get under her skin. "I'm not going to just dissolve into tears, you can take a step back" she growled when Sam followed Ashley towards the driver's side of the car instead of getting in on his side. "I'm fine, no knife on me! No flask!"

"Right, sorry" Sam mumbled as he went back around the car.

"Look, Sammy" she sighed before getting into the car "I am thankful you were there for me last night, but it's today now, shows over."

"Until a re-run comes on, and how do I know you will tell me?"

Ashley thought about Sam's question and judged just how freaked he really was by the look on his face. It was set into a soft glare, his eyes squinted, and lips pressed into a line. "I'll always tell you, even if you decide to almost leave us again" she promised as she sat down in the car. "But now it's time to show Ben how to party, Winchester style" she smiled.