This is madness! Pure madness! I cannot apologise enough!

Room of Requirement

"Captain all my readings are proving only that this room cannot technically or possibly exist upon this ship" Spock announces, standing up straight in the corridor outside the door to the room of requirement that has sprung up there over the last few days.

Spock and Kirk have gone to the door, currently situated on deck four after more and more of the crew have started talking excitedly about a new room they have discovered on the ship – except that it has been a different room for everyone who has encountered. For Sulu it was, as he reported the "the weapons training room of dreams" where all manner of interplanetary and historical weapons had been available for training in amongst the most fantastical botanical garden. For Scotty it had contained the most amazing array of bottles of antique Scotch, and he had got lost there for a entire weekend. Chekov had insisted, bizarrely, that it was the exact same bedroom he had had as a child and Uhura, who had suddenly started contemplating a need for sushi had found the most amazing sushi bar she had never known existed.

"So it's official then – this room does not actually exist?" Kirk pronounces frowning.

"Indeed Captain, nor should it need to when we have fully functioning simulator rooms on other of the recreation decks."

"Spock, your conclusions?"

"All I can imagine captain is that we have once again fallen prey to the – I must say – more than usually nonsensical whim of a fan fiction author."

"Again?" Kirk groans – "After all the madness they got up to with my shirts? And the slash fic? And - and – I just can't Spock, I don't know if I even can any more with these fanfic writers – seriously I mean look how they're making me talk? I don't even know if I'm Shatner or Pine anymore!"

"I concur Captain, I do seem to have found myself saying "Logical" every few words – and I believe there are people out there trying to get me in a Romantic scenario with Lietenant Uhura!"

"I know what this is Captain!" announces Scotty, running excitedly up the corridor towards them – "I've been looking into the problem we have here and it seems that this here door is the result of someone rudely slipping a cross–over chapter into a non cross over piece of fiction! This room belongs to the Harry Potter fandom!"

"Well then what the devil's it doing on my ship?"

"Fanfic writers captain" Scotty shakes his head in interminable despair – "Fanfic writers. There's no cure for it I'm afraid"

"Well I suppose it can't hurt –" Kirk begins at which point a girl with pale hair and a dreamy expression pops through the door, looks curiously from one of them to another, says –

"Oh I'm so sorry – wrong fandom" and dives back through the door again.

"This is becoming ridiculous" Kirk announces.

"This thing goes both ways?" Scotty frowns, looking fascinated at the same time – "I always wanted to visit Hogwarts as a boy!"

"Scotty I'm warning you –"

"There has to be a logical explanation for this!" Says Dana Scully, suddenly appearing for no reason from inside the room.

"No –" Spock says slowly – "No this time I suspect very much not –" then adding for very little reason beyond that of bad writing – "Most illogical."

The crew of The Enterprise sit tight and wait for the madness to pass.

_x_

I don't know, I seem to be suffering from the most terrible crack attack. I don't know why this happened.

On the plus side I'm contemplating using the previous chapter as the first chapter of a new fic in which I explore the Spock - playing – music theme through a selection of different pieces of music – what do people think?

I apologise again for this :-)