…
It was a tradition that had started since Ai's first year at Samezuka, every Christmas Eve Rin would come to visit, keep him company while his parents holidayed in some exotic country – neither one being fans of white Christmases. And, despite no longer living with his parents, it was a tradition that they'd never seemed to break.
"Rin-senpai!" Ai cried, throwing his door open.
"How many times do I have to tell you Ai? Drop the senpai. Neither of us are in any form of education anymore." Rin scolded, another tradition he couldn't seem to break.
"Sorry." He blushed, dragging Rin inside from the cold.
"Christ, it's freezing out there." He shivered, disposing his many layers once the heat of Ai's house wrapped him up.
"It's not too bad." He shrugged, which was the truth they'd been in negative numbers recently.
"When you're used to Australia. It's chilly round the ol' willy." He smiled, briefly slipping into English at the end of his sentence.
"What?" Ai giggled, head tilted to one side in confusion.
"Never mind, doesn't translate well." He shook his head.
"Okay." He agreed.
The pair stood in silence, it had been almost a year since they'd actually been in the same room together, texts, emails, phone calls and skype just wasn't the same.
"I missed you." Rin admitted, shuffling awkwardly on his feet.
"I missed you too." Ai smiled.
Unthinking the pair walked forward, wrapping each other up in an embrace, basking in the warmth and familiar smells that filled their senses now they were together again. They held each other tightly for a while before they both snapped out the moment, awkwardly jumping back to a respectable distance for two friends.
"Right, so." Rin cleared his throat.
"Do you want a drink?" Ai offered, trying to disperse the tension that had filled the room.
"Yeah, I'm parched." He accepted, ruffling Ai's hair as he walked towards the kitchen.
…
Rin smiled as he watched Ai work, tongue stuck out slightly as he squirted cream on the top of a rich hot chocolate. To Rin, it looked foul, all that chocolate, marshmallows, cream and a shot of caramel he poured inside. He'd stick to his coffee thanks.
But the soft moan of appreciation that slipped from Ai's lips when he took that first sip showed Rin the other boy didn't seem to be affected by the sugar overload.
"You sure you don't want one?" Ai asked, looking up at Rin with a creamy nose.
"No, I'm good." He laughed.
"I have cream on my face don't I?" He groaned, wiping uselessly at his cheeks.
"Come here." Rin chuckled, reaching forward and swiping the cream off the tip of his nose.
With a smile he placed his finger in his mouth and sucked the cream away, it was terribly sickly but it had been worth it to see Ai's whole face flush at the gesture.
"Ah!" Ai jumped as a loud ping filled the silence.
"Popcorns ready." Rin grinned as Ai stumbled over to the microwave.
"Yeah." He hissed, burning himself on the steam coming from the bag.
"What delightful film have you got for us this year?" He asked, knowing Ai would have uncovered some ancient Christmas movie for them to watch.
"It's called Love Actually." He proudly stated, grabbing the DVD from his coffee table.
"Sounds great." He lied, sitting down on the sofa.
He knew exactly what would happen, Ai would complain the subtitles were moving too fast for the first part of the movie, the second part of the movie Rin would be completely bored out his mind while Ai would be captivated – no longer bothered by the speed of the words – and the last part would involve sobbing from Ai while Rin furiously denies the heart-warming cheese had got to him.
With a wide smile Ai flopped down next to Rin, popcorn nestled between them, as the film began. Both men too distracted to notice the flakes falling from the thick, grey sky.
…
"God, that film was just beautiful. They all found love for Christmas." Ai cried, cheeks wet with his tears.
"Tch, I guess so." Rin shrugged, pretending the loving antics hadn't made him well up slightly.
"You're such a Grinch." He mocked, nudging Rin slightly.
"I'm not a Grinch!" He protested. "Just because I don't like clichés."
"I don't know why I put up with you." He complained, standing up to put the now empty popcorn bowl in the kitchen while Rin swatted at him.
"I guess I better leave." Rin said, standing up and stretching out his back with a satisfying click.
"Already?" Ai pouted walking back in the room.
"Yeah, Mum's expecting me." He shrugged casually, despite the fact he would more than happily stay in Ai's company forever.
"I'll see you again right? Before you go back to Australia?" He asked.
"Course you will." He nodded, slipping on his jacket again.
In silence the pair walked up to Ai's front door, opening it to reveal a blanket of white slowly forming on the ground as snow fell with a flurry from the sky.
"You can't walk home in this!" Ai exclaimed, grabbing onto Rin's arm.
"It's not too bad." He said, involuntarily shivering.
"No, it's frightful out there." He shook his head, dragging Rin back inside. "At least wait until the snow has stopped."
"A couple more hours won't hurt I guess." Rin agreed, glad to be back in the warmth.
…
A couple of hours soon became six, the snow never seemed to cease and Rin didn't really want to trudge home with the ice nipping at his face.
A quick text to his mum confirmed that the snow was meant to stop in the early hours of the morning, so with a promise to come home the moment he woke up he was given permission to spend the night at Ai's.
It was ridiculous really, twenty four years old, living in a different county but he still had to ask his mother if he was able to sleepover at Ai's.
But this throwback to his childhood was how he found himself in a blanket and cushion fort with Ai, the delightful fire roaring on the other side, both forced to lie down or have a face full of blanket. It was something they'd done many times back at Samezuka, talking in hushed tones late into the night before Ai would always fall asleep first. Rin would then watch his gentle breathing, his angelic face relaxed with sleep until he too slipped into dreams.
Rin blushed at the memory, unbelievably glad that it was too dark under the covers for the other man to see. He'd always had a crush on Ai, it was something he'd expected to grow out of once he left his teenage years but never seemed to. He guessed if you'd harboured a crush for over six years it wasn't really a crush anymore. It was love.
"Rin, let's play truth or dare." Ai giggled, a game they'd played plenty of times in the past. At least until Sousuke had complained about a sexy voicemail Rin had dared Ai to leave him.
"Alright, you first. Truth or dare?" He asked.
"Truth." He smiled, Rin groaning slightly. Now he'd have to come up with something interesting to ask him.
"How many people have you slept with?" Ai blushed slightly at the question, somehow talking about his sex life with Rin embarrassed him beyond belief.
"I'm not sure." He admitted.
"Excuse me?" Rin choked, how many people do you have to have slept with in order to lose track of the numbers? He was slightly shocked with his once innocent kohai.
"Well, there were a lot of drunken and regrettable nights at uni." He confessed. "More than twenty but probably not as high as thirty."
"Right, okay." Rin nodded, as if the new information didn't make him feel sick to the stomach.
"Truth or dare?" Ai asked in a rush, hoping to change the topic.
"Dare."
"I dare you to eat that piece of popcorn stuck in your hair." He said, Rin rolling his eyes slightly as Ai pulled it loose of his locks. He always did come up with the worst dares.
"When did you notice that?" He asked, holding his hand out for the food to be dropped into.
"About an hour ago." He giggled.
Quickly Rin plopped the popcorn in his mouth, it was slightly stale but not overly awful, he was more concerned with the sticky patch he was sure to have in his hair.
"You're turn." He swallowed.
"Dare." Ai decided, feeling a little brave.
"I dare you to spend Christmas with me tomorrow." Rin smirked.
He always offered, knowing Ai would be alone as that was the way he always spent the holidays, but the other man always insisted it was what he was used to, what he preferred. He'd just be a burden if he did come over unannounced, another annoying mouth for Rin's mother to feed.
"Rin, I can't." He shook his head.
"You know the penalty of not fulfilling a dare is the full monty." He grinned, knowing Ai would do anything to avoid having to strip to You Can Leave Your Hat On – another silly British film the pair had ended up watching together.
"Okay, but just for the evening." He moaned. "The morning is just for family."
"Alright." Rin nodded, it was probably the best he was going to get. "Truth."
"Erm, what do you want for Christmas?" Ai yawned.
"Something I can never have." He admitted.
"I highly doubt that. Rin Matsuoka, world famous swimmer, can get whatever he wants." He rolled his eyes.
"Not this." He denied.
"What is it?" Ai questioned, his interest peaked.
"It's not a thing, it's a person."
"Oh." He nodded. "Well if she can't see how amazing you are she's the one missing out."
Ai tried to comfort but it just made Rin feel worse, it only highlighted what was already completely out of his reach.
"Did you meet her in Australia?"
"Nope, long before that." He smiled.
"What's she called?" Ai probed but Rin knew he could never tell him.
"Maybe another time."
"Okay, I'll drop it for now. But only because I'm tired." He yawned again.
The pair settled down to sleep, both shivering slightly as the fire died down outside, neither one thinking ahead to save a blanket to use to cover themselves as they slept.
"Rin?" Ai whispered into the dark.
"Yeah?" He replied.
"Would it be okay if… Only if you don't think it would be weird… Actually never mind." He rambled.
"Spit it out." Rin growled.
"Would it be okay if cuddled?" He asked in a rush. "Just because I'm really cold and I'm sure you are too. We could share body heat or…"
Rin pulled Ai into his arms, affectively silencing the other man's ramblings and getting him the closest to his dream that he'd ever been in his entire life.
"I used to imagine doing this at Samezuka." Ai sleepily admitted into his chest.
"Why?" Rin asked, heart quickening.
"Erm, no reason really." He nervously laughed.
"Hey Ai, truth or dare?"
"Dare." He picked.
"I dare you to tell me why you used to imagine this." He smirked, knowing he had caught Ai out.
"That's not fair." He whined.
"A dares a dare. Or you get naked." He said, squeezing Ai slightly as he did.
"Fine, but please don't make a big deal out of it." He begged.
"Sure."
"When I was younger I had a little crush on you, I mean I grew out of it when I realised I didn't have a chance and I'm glad I did because you're one of the best friends I've ever had. But yeah, when you were going through that whole dark and brooding stage I was crushing pretty hard." He confessed, head getting lower and lower as he spoke, almost as if he were afraid to look Rin in the eye.
"But I was such a dick then." He said, slightly confused. If he was ever going to like him surely it would have been when Rin actually paid him attention, unless Ai liked the abuse.
"A sexy dick. I can't believe I just said that out loud." He moaned.
"I have a confession to make too." Rin said, deciding it was now or never, and a year away in Australia was plenty of time to get over the possible rejection.
"Yeah?" Ai asked, peeking up at him through his eyelashes.
"During my final year I had a crush on you too." He told him.
"We are quite a pair aren't we?" He giggled slightly.
"I suppose. Except, I never exactly outgrew my crush."
Ai visibly froze at Rin's words, eyes flitting around his entire face as if he could seek out the lie.
"But that would mean…" He trailed off.
"I still like you. Yep." He nodded.
"No, no, no, no." Ai shook his head, bolting up in the fort, effectively destroying it.
"I'm sorry but you needed to know." Rin apologised, pulling the blanket off his face that had fallen on him.
"But you live in Australia, we see each other twice a year, if that, you couldn't possibly like me." He denied, hands shaking slightly. "And look at you, you're so…" He gestured to a confused Rin. "And I'm so… You're in a completely different league to me. You date models from Australia with blonde hair and I get asked for blow jobs from the drunk sleazes who come into the bar."
"You need a new job." Rin growled, finding out far too much about Ai's personal life tonight.
"Alright Mum." He rolled his eyes.
"And all that bullshit about leagues, have you seen yourself? You're fucking gorgeous." Ai scoffed at his comment. "And even if you weren't I'd still love you, I love everything about you. I love your little laugh, I love your weird obsession with ducks, I love your determination, I love your loyalty, I love you inside and out."
"You love me?" He asked.
Rin blushed at the question, he'd been too distracted by cheering up Ai he hadn't realised how much he'd run his mouth.
"That's a bit too heavy isn't it?" He laughed awkwardly.
"Nope." Ai shook his head. "It's nice to be loved, I never really have been before."
"You have, for the past six years you have you just didn't know it." He told him, pulling him back down so he was wrapped up in his arms again, a duck blanket draped over both their bodies.
"I know Sousuke used to always joke about being a hopeless romantic but I never really realised how bad it was." He teased.
"Shut up." Rin grumbled, holding Ai even closer.
They stared into each other's eyes, blue watching red, fire meeting ice, until Ai yawned. So close his breath brushed against Rin's cheeks.
"We should sleep." Ai whispered, not even sure how late it now was.
"Yeah." Rin agreed. "Can I kiss you?"
They were closer now, tips of noses touching as the question hung in the air. Instead of replying Ai closed the already miniscule distance between them, lips pressed softly together. Rin sighed blissfully into the kiss, finally getting that kiss goodnight he'd always dreamed of.
…
Rin watched Ai sleeping for well over an hour, he knew he'd broken his promise to his mum to come home the moment he woke up but he found he didn't really care.
With a sleepy moan, Ai's eyes flickered open, bleary and tired but still as beautiful as ever.
"Merry Christmas." Rin said, pressing a soft kiss against the other man's forehead.
"Merry Christmas." He croaked in response. "I didn't expect you to still be here."
"I wasn't going to slip out while you slept, I have more class than that." He defended, gently stroking Ai's messy bed head.
"You're mum will be worried." He scolded, stretching and pressing his body closer to Rin's.
"I'm sure she'll survive." He grinned, leaning down to capture his lips.
His mother and Gou would be so busy with the prep for dinner they wouldn't really notice if he was a little late, surely?
As he felt Ai's soft hands slide under his shirt and up his back muscles he found he didn't really care about they answer, he'd deal with that issue later.
…
Rin stood on Ai's doorstep, kissing those warm pink lips as if they were his only lifeline. He had no excuses this time, the snow had finally stopped so he knew he had to leave. But they were making this goodbye last for as long as they could.
"Come with me." Rin mumbled between kisses.
"I told you, in the evening." He giggled.
"But I want you to come with me now." He complained.
"You spent all last night with me and most of the morning, it will be good for you to get away from me." Ai cheekily grinned.
"Never." He denied with a kiss.
"Are you sure you don't want a scarf?" He fussed, this being the third time he'd offered one to Rin.
"I'll be fine, honestly."
"I'll see you later." Ai said definitively, taking a step back from Rin. Knowing if they carried on with this goodbye his whole house would freeze over too, and he was just keeping the other man from his own family.
"You will." Rin agreed, carefully backing up the path before heading home.
He smiled as he walked, listening to the satisfying crunch as he made the first prints in the fresh snow. He knew when he got home he'd regret not borrowing that scarf but currently the memory of Ai was keeping him warm.
…
Have an amazing Christmas my lovelies!