The next morning, I stumbled down to find Seamus sitting in a silence waiting for everyone to settle down and be quiet.

He looked down at his hands and looked somber enough that I realized he looked like Neville, and then that he was our leader until Neville recovered. By an unspoken agreement, Seamus had taken up the role.

"Neville came home late last night." Everyone was silent. "He isn't feeling well. So we'll be taking turns to bring him food and water." He indicated the body lying in the hammock above.

There was a round of nodding and then Parvati asked the question on all of our minds. "What happened?"

"We don't really know. But we can't question him now; at one of his lower points."

Ernie nodded vigorously; "well I think that's obvious. But maybe we could help him finish the job if he failed to?"

Seamus shook his head. "From what he has told me, which is very little mind you, he thinks he finished."

I held my breath as they left, talking again. Seamus put his hands on my shoulders and I tensed from his touch.

"You want to talk to him?"

Susan was waiting at the top of the stairs, her smile gone again. I stared at the shape of her frown and nodded.

Neville's bunk was at the top of the room, and he turned over as I sat down next to his hammock.

"Hi." The days of complicated inside jokes were over.

"Hi." His bruised eye was swollen shut, and he shifted so that he could see me. I sat cross legged next to his face.

"Are you alright?" His face was scrunched with worry.

"I should be asking you that."

He smiled slightly, "no, really. I didn't want to drag you all into this. This is the war for those who are brave enough."

I must've looked offended, because he shook his head. "Hannah, I'm sorry. You know that's not what I meant."

I looked down. "Are you sure Neville? Because I'm not cut out of that ridiculous hero stuff. I'm selfish enough to make the wrong sacrifices."

"The wrong sacrifices?"

"If I could be back to normal, with Susan and fun and all of those things, I wouldn't care what happened to Voldemort. I choose ignorance over knowledge."

Neville thought for a moment. "That's what we all want, Hannah. That's why we're fighting. To get back to the normal, with fun and all of those things. That's why we want him gone. Because that's the realistic way out."

I looked at him for a moment. "Really?"

"Yeah. I promise."

My face was about to catch on fire from his cool gaze. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the ceiling.

I left quickly.