Unreasonable Doubt

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This story is on an AU track.

Chapter 5: The Game is Over

She felt cold. It was the first thing she noticed as consciousness began to seep back in. Waking slowly, she realized Nick's arms were no longer wrapped around her. Her heart began to race. "Nick?"

And then he was there, running his fingers through her hair. "What is it?"

"I woke up and you weren't there," she replied, realizing as she said it how silly she sounded. With him there, her fear seemed to lose some of its hold on her. "I thought maybe something happened to you."

He bent to kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry, I should've let you know I was getting up, but you were so tired last night, I didn't want to wake you."

"You're going in?" Stupid question. Of course he was. She likely would have been too, if Murphy hadn't pretty much ordered her to take a few days.

He nodded. "I'll be back later. In the meantime, you know where everything is, right?"

"Uh huh."

"You still tired?"

"Yeah."

He slipped his hand into hers. "You want me to sit here until you fall asleep?"

"You sure? I don't want to make you late."

"Don't worry about it. First of all, I've got plenty of time, and second, no one's going to give me a hard time over being late today." His free hand was still running through her hair. "Just go to sleep. It's going to be all right."

She was asleep in seconds.

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"What's the status?" Nick asked the moment he was through the squad room door.

"Allison Mayfield is already on her way down, and Liv's on the phone with Laura Issac now," Fin told him. "How's Amanda?"

"Shaky, but I think she'll be okay. He really spooked her with that late-night visit. Any sign of him yet?"

Fin shook his head. "I drove by Amanda's place last night, checked the lot and everything, and didn't see him. I can't believe he took us all in like that."

"I can't believe we hurt her enough for her to think she couldn't talk to us," Nick replied, sounding like he was on the verge of losing it completely, and it was pretty clear that we really meant I. "I was pissed, I know, but I never meant - I never stopped caring about her."

"It's not that simple," his partner's voice said softly from behind him. Her eyes locked with Fin's, and a hundred words passed between them without either of them having to speak. "She's scared, Nick. You can't expect everything she does to have a perfectly rational basis."

"She expected me to be mad at her for not telling me sooner," he said almost brokenly.

Fin shook his head a little sadly, glancing around to make sure only Olivia and Nick would hear him and lowering his voice even so. "I get the sense her family isn't the most supportive of her - I don't think she was actually abused, but I also don't think she had much in the way of understanding or emotional support growing up. You've met her sister - Amanda's the younger sister, but I think she was mostly forced to be Kim's caretaker."

Olivia was nodding slowly. "Yeah, I could see that." There was no need to explain how she could see that; both Nick and Fin were aware of where she came from. "If you don't expect anything, you can't be disappointed."

Fin looked like he was about to reply, but instead he suddenly sat up straight. "Scumbag at two o'clock."

Olivia immediately saw her partner tense up, and laid a hand on his arm. "Don't do it, Nick," she said under her breath. "I know you want to, but don't do it."

On cue, several uniformed officers slowly moved into position. They weren't obvious enough that Blaine was likely to notice, but they were close enough to spring into action if he made a break for the door when he realized his game was up.

Clearly, someone had gone to get Murphy, who appeared a few seconds later. Blaine eyed the assembled group. "What is it? Another victim?"

"Something like that," Amaro said through gritted teeth. Olivia kept her hand on his arm, ready to grab him if he lost his temper and tried to go after the man. She didn't blame him in the slightest for his anger, but the last thing they needed was a tainted arrest.

Fortunately, Murphy stepped in before Amaro's patience had a chance to run out. "You're under arrest."

"I - what?"

"You're under arrest for the rape and kidnapping of Allison Mayfield and Laura Issac. You have the right to remain silent -"

"I know my rights!"

"You have the right to remain silent," he repeated, "and I suggest you use it! You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you..."

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"That's him. Number three."

The words were out of Laura Issac's mouth almost as soon as the blind was raised, just as they had been from Allison Mayfield's. It appeared Munch's instinct had been right; Blaine was the man they were looking for, and his habit of forcing the victims to look at him throughout the act was backfiring on him in a big way.

"Thank you." Olivia waved to an officer to take her out.

Barba turned to Blaine's lawyer. "That's two, and I've already called the Atlanta DA. They'll probably be asking us to extradite within the week. The only question is where he'll be tried."

"I need to speak to my client," the man said briskly.

"How tight is this case?" Olivia asked Barba once the defense attorney was on the other side of the glass.

"On our end? I can't see how he'd wiggle out of it - of course, that's no guarantee of anything these days," he added bitterly, calling to all of them memories airtight cases where the perp had walked, "but it doesn't look good for him. As for Atlanta, that all depends on the detective work in question. The fact that the suspect was basically running the investigation may become an issue, he had a lot of access to the records."

"Except he had to run and hide so the victims wouldn't see him," Olivia pointed out. "That means other officers handled a huge portion of the investigation. If we can prevent them from closing ranks around him..."

"There has to be one," Amaro said, an edge of desperation in his voice. "That's all we need, one officer who's not willing to cover for a dirty cop."

Olivia knew that tone. She'd known for a while now how much her partner cared for Amanda, and she knew he was upset about what had happened to her and scared that Blaine wouldn't pay for his crimes.

"Sorry I'm late, there was a five-car pileup on the bridge," Munch's voice said from the doorway. "What did I miss?"

"Both our victims IDed Blaine," Fin told him. "Murphy's getting some static from Atlanta PD, but he thinks they'll come around eventually; they may not like it, but they can't just pretend this didn't happen, the White Knight's been on too many front pages for them to ignore this kind of lead."

"Wasn't Detective Rollins involved on the case in Atlanta?" Barba pointed out, and it was only then that Olivia realized he was out of the loop. "I can't imagine she'd cover for this asshole."

"Can we talk for a minute, Counselor?" Olivia said softly, waving him into a side room. She could see Munch still talking to Fin and Amaro.

"Is there a problem?"

"I just need to bring you up to speed," she told him. "Rollins isn't a part of this investigation anymore."

"I take it something happened," he said a little wryly.

"Nothing she's responsible for," Olivia replied, unable to keep a hint of defensiveness out of her voice. "Rollins disclosed to me yesterday that she was one of Blaine's victims in Atlanta."

"And we didn't know about this before because...?"

"Cops close ranks around their own, and he's a lot more firmly entrenched in the department than she was," Olivia said regretfully. "She never told anyone. It shouldn't affect the case. Nick and I were the primaries, we talked to the victims and Munch and I were the ones who got that rental receipt."

"Okay. Okay. I'll have to do a little fast talking to keep the defense from undermining our case -"

Olivia smiled despite herself. "Isn't that what you do best, Counselor?"

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Five-fifteen. Nick should be home soon.

After waking up, she'd gotten the hot shower she'd craved the night before, but she couldn't bring herself to face the idea of leaving the locked room. Blaine really had scared her by showing up at her apartment. There was no place that he would consider off-limits. She had to protect herself or he would come and he would hurt her for telling.

She heard a loud knock on the bedroom door, but before she had a chance to panic, a voice followed it. "Amanda? It's me. Can I come in?"

She got up and unlocked the door to let him in. He looked her over, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"What happened with him?" she asked in reply.

"He's at Riker's, he'll be arraigned tomorrow. Barba's going to try to argue for remand, but it's going to depend which judge we draw."

"So he could get out," she replied flatly.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and realized she was shaking. "Shh, it'll be okay, I'll protect you." He pulled her close. "Barba thinks it's likely Atlanta's going to extradite anyway - even if he's free on bail down there, he won't be allowed to leave the state." He ran his fingers through her hair. "Have you been in here all day?"

She nodded. "The door locks. You don't know how hard it was in Atlanta, having to leave my house every day when all I wanted to do was sit behind every locked door I had in that place. And now - I'm scared he'll hurt me for telling you what happened."

"I know you are," he soothed. "I know. But I won't let him."

"Why are you so good to me?" she whispered.

"Because I care, sweetheart. That's all the reason I need." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "You need anything? You must be hungry."

She was. She was starving, she hadn't eaten in almost two days. More than once that day she'd thought about going down to the kitchen to get something to eat, but hungry as she was, the idea of leaving the locked room had been more than she was ready to tolerate.

"Yeah, I'm hungry," she said softly.

"I'll cook you something. Can you come down to the kitchen?"

Tears pricked at her eyes. He hadn't even told her to come to the kitchen, he'd asked, to be absolutely sure she was comfortable. "I'm okay as long as you're here."

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Nick was woken suddenly by a scream. "Amanda?" he called out, recognizing the voice. "Amanda?"

As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he realized she was still lying beside him in bed, huddled up with her knees to her chest. As he reached out to touch her, he realized her clothes were soaked with sweat.

He took her shoulder and shook it. "Amanda, it's okay, it's just a nightmare. Come on, wake up."

She did, suddenly sitting upright, gasping for breath. "Oh, Lord," she whispered.

"You're okay," Nick said gently. "You're okay. I'm here."

She reached for him and he obliged her, taking her in a warm embrace. She shook in his arms as he rocked her gently. "You want to tell me about it?"

"N-no," she replied uncertainly, as if afraid she was giving him the wrong answer. "I don't want - I don't want to have to go over it again."

"That's okay too," he soothed. "Just hold onto me, then."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, clinging to him. "I'm such a mess. I'm sorry for making you take care of me."

"Don't," he replied. "Don't do that. Don't apologize. This isn't your fault." What Fin had said began to resonate even more strongly with him. She's not used to being cared for. "It's okay, Amanda. I know you're scared, and that's okay. I'm here for you."

She sniffed, and he could tell she was fighting not to cry. "I didn't take a single sick day in Atlanta when it happened. I got up and went to work the next day - it took all the strength I had, but I did it, and now I can't, I'm falling apart all over you and everyone else."

He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. "You had no choice back then. When there's no safety net to catch you, you have to fight to your last ounce of strength not to fall, so you buried all your pain and just kept going. You're falling apart now because all that buried pain is coming back to the surface, but you're also falling apart because now it's an option, because you know I'm here to catch you when you fall." He placed another kiss on her forehead. "And I never want you to apologize for that. I want to be here for you. I want you to feel safe enough with me to let your emotions out."

"I do."

He began rubbing gentle circles on her back. "I know that you feel safe from Blaine with me, but I want you to feel safe from me too. I'm not going to leave you for crying in front of me, or needing me, or anything like that. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you'd be here for me if I needed you, and I promise you, I'll be here for you through this."

She began to cry then, a near-silent stream of tears that nonetheless shook her entire body, much harder than she'd cried in front of Cragen and Olivia, sobbing herself to sleep in his arms as he held her and rocked her.

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She woke up with her head on her boyfriend's chest, his arms securely wrapped around her. He stirred too, reaching out to turn the alarm off. "Sorry about that," he apologized sleepily, "but I had to get myself up somehow. You can go back to sleep."

"Wasn't going to." She slowly pushed herself to a sitting position. "Arraignment's later today, isn't it?"

"You don't have to go to that," he replied.

"I want to," she replied. "I feel better after last night, and I want him to know I'm not too scared to look him in the eye. Not anymore."

"Okay."

Yeah, this is mostly fluff, but nothing wrong with a healthy dose of fluff every now and again.

What I wrote about Rollins' family is mostly speculation, based on the way her sister treats her in Deadly Ambition and what she mentions about her father in Rapist Anonymous.

Please review.