The ride to the grocery store was pretty uneventful. Mozzie and Neal were both seated in the back, chatting about art. Elizabeth would occasionally give her input while Peter would intermittently ask warily if they had forged or stolen the pieces they discussed. Neal reassured that if they had, it was only allegedly.
For a Saturday the grocery store was relatively empty and Peter easily found a parking spot. Before they got out of the car, Peter said they had to go over a few ground rules. Peter had seen enough misbehaving children while shopping to know exactly what he did not want Neal and Mozzie to do. Peter knew from experience that if he set clear expectations and rules Neal would be more likely to follow them. Not to say Neal would not find a loophole somehow.
"Number one- do NOT leave my, or El's, eye sight."
They really could not take offense to that. They had enough of their adult mindset to know that children got kidnapped. And at this point, they would not be able to physically protect themselves.
"Number two- no tantrums."
They both took great offense to this. "P'ter I don't do tantrums! I am not really a four year old."
"I don't know what eight year old you know that throws a tantrum, but they really need better parenting." Mozzie said.
Ignoring them, Peter continued. "Number three- no asking for candy. We are sticking to the list."
Peter thought for another minute before realizing those were the only rules he could think of. He gave Elizabeth a look to ask if she had anything else to add. She just smiled and said that they would be fine and got out of the car.
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The four of them headed into the store and Peter was pushing the cart. He was not about to allow Mozzie to push the cart, because he liked pain free heels thank you very much.
The shopping was going well until Elizabeth told them she was going to get meat from the deli and meat counters and they should carry on shopping for the rest. Peter and the boys had not gone down two aisles before Neal wandered off. Peter had been debating between two different brands of tomato paste, so he did not have his eyes on Neal. He had wondered idly about what kind of differences there could be between tomato pastes that would require different brands before realizing that Neal would probably be better at selecting the right kind.
"Hey Neal, what the heck is-" is as far as he got before noticing that Neal was nowhere to be seen. He looked around frantically before spotting Mozzie looking at the selection of noodles. Seeing that Moz would not be any help, Peter pushed the cart to the side and told the eight year old to "follow me" in a voice that brokered no argument. Peter was becoming more and more worried at each passing aisle that Neal was not down. Peter gave out a relieved sigh when he spotted the young miscreant down the coffee aisle.
"Neal" he said loudly and shortly, his relief coming off in annoyance. "What do you think you are doing?"
"P'ter, look! They have Italian Roast!" Neal said happily, oblivious to the near heart attack Peter had almost had. To Neals's dismay, Peter plucked the bag of coffee from his hands and slammed it back on the shelf.
"What was rule number one Neal?" Peter asked him, crouching down to eye level.
Neal's look of shock quickly turned to recognition. Peter saw the shift, and asked once more.
"What was it Neal?" This time more gently but a little bit exasperated. (A/N I am trying to come up with the term for the tone Peter used when he had to ask Neal twice about when he told Peter to "prove it" in the episode where Kramer tries to nail him for the Raphael. If you guys have a good word for it, please share!).
Neal always had trouble meeting Peter's eye when he was getting scolded or told off when he was an adult, but now he could not force himself to do so. Instead, he looked at his feet and said quietly, "don't leave El or your eyesight".
"That's right Neal. You are in the body of a four year old." Peter wisely phrased it this way instead of calling him a child. "You would not be able to defend yourself if someone tried to snatch you. We work for the FBI Neal, you know how dangerous it is for children to be alone. This is your one warning. The next time you run off you can sit in the cart." Peter rebuked.
Neal's stomach felt like it was in knots. It was not like it was that big of deal that he went in a different aisle than Peter, he was perfectly safe and stayed in the store. And really, Peter had hardly even admonished him, but Neal found himself feeling worse than he ever had after being told off. Neal had the grocery list memorized and wanted to surprise Peter by finding his favorite coffee and helping him out, but here he was being lectured. And his cursed four year old body was betraying him as he felt tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Hey, it's done. Just don't wander off again, okay?" Peter said softly with his hand resting gently on Neal's head. He gave a small nod and the three of them walked back to cart and resumed shopping. But of course having two rambunctious former adult conmen, the peace did not last long. This time Mozzie was the culprit.
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They had reached the cereal aisle, and if Peter had thought there was a lot of options for tomato paste, he was shocked with how many options there were for cereal. This is why he made Elizabeth do the grocery shopping. If it were up to him they would be eating Cheerios every morning. Who needed this organic stuff or whole wheat? And really, is high fructose corn syrup really that bad for you? However, he knew enough about cereal to not let Mozzie get Reese's Puffs. Peter was actually kind of surprised at Mozzie's choice, he had always assume the bald man ate out for breakfast. None the less, when Mozzie tried to sneak it in the cart once again, Peter told him firmly to put it back.
"Come on man, it's just cereal. I'll be out of your hair soon anyways."
"Mozzie, I don't care for how long you are with us. I am not going to have a hyper eight year old on my hands after eating that crap. Come choose a flavor of Cheerios." Peter said. Mozzie just glared at him and stood where he was. "Fine then, Neal and I will choose a flavor and you will just have to eat it." He said hoping to get Mozzie to choose something, as Peter really had no idea what he liked. Seeing that Mozzie was making no move to help them, Peter kept to his word and turned back to choose something. He was debating between the regular and the whole wheat version when he heard a soft "oops" followed by the skittering of cereal across the floor. Peter gave a frustrated sigh before walking over to the boy who was holding a broken box of cereal.
"What happened?" Peter asked angrily.
Mozzie looked at Peter before deciding that shrugging was his best option. Peter sighed again before he looked around for an employee, because if he was being honest, Peter did not really care how the box broke, he just wanted to get out of the store as quickly as possible.
Finding a store clerk Peter quickly apologized for the mess and turned around to grab the boys and go find Elizabeth, as he was not going to do this shopping thing alone anymore. But when he turned Neal was gone once again.
"Damn it Neal! I told you not to leave my eyesight!" Peter muttered under his breathe. Grabbing Mozzie's hand firmly, Peter started the hunt for Neal. Peter found him with Elizabeth walking towards their cart. He was chatting away happily with Elizabeth and that angered Peter. Here he was getting worried about Neal and all along he was talking happily with Elizabeth.
Once Neal was within grabbing range, Peter plucked him up and sat him in the children's seat. Had Neal realized what Peter was planning, he would have put up more of a fuss. As it was, all he was able to do now was pout. Neal kicked his legs angrily and tried to climb out of the seat, but Peter had buckled him in and was towering over him.
"P'ter! Let me down!" Neal continued to squirm to get out of the seat.
"I warned you Neal. I told you what would happen if you ran off again. And guess what? Ya did it. So ya, you get to sit in the cart now." Peter said with forced calm.
"Damn it P'ter! Get me the Hell out of here!" Neal yelled, drawing the attention of nearby shoppers. Peter could not help but notice the disproving looks the mother at the end of the aisle was giving him. But before Peter could yell at Neal, Elizabeth cut in.
"Neal sweetie, I know you don't want to sit in the cart, but you did the crime and now you have to do the time. But just because you are upset doesn't mean you get say those kinds of things. Because while you might be an adult up here" she said while tapping his temple lightly, "you are still in the body of a child. And I would never let my four year old say that, and I don't think you would either." She finished disapprovingly.
Before Peter knew what happened, Neal burst out in tears. It appeared that both men were shocked by what happened as Neal was wiping his cheeks furiously trying to get rid of the tears that kept coming. He was a con man who was always in control of his emotions. He had only ever cried once in front of anyone other than Ellen and that was Peter after the plane Kate was in blew up, when he was to shocked and horrified to contain his emotions. He had even hid his tears from the people who cared about him when Mozzie was shot, when Ellen had died and when his father abandoned him once again. But the way in which Elizabeth and Peter lectured him in that loving way took its toll on his four year old body.
Peter had no idea what to do with his crying CI and could not do anything but stand there in shock. He had only seen Neal cry once when his girlfriend had died on the plane. He had only seen Neal express any kind of extreme emotions on very rare occasions. While Peter often tried to get Neal to express his true feelings, he could not say that he missed out on Neal crying. He could not handle women crying, much less his confidential informant.
Elizabeth tried to step in by picking Neal out of the seat, but he just tried to squirm out of her hold, so Peter grabbed Neal before he could fall. Almost instantly Neal stilled and buried his face in Peter's shoulder. Peter stood rigid for a few moments before relaxing and rubbing Neal's back in a steady rhythm. Though he was offering his comfort, he was still confused at what just played out. He shot Elizabeth a confused look.
"I think someone is tired." Elizabeth said to Peter while running a hand through Neal's still baby soft hair. "You remember how when Adam didn't get a nap, he was a lot more emotional. I think that is what happened here. Why don't you two go wait in the car while Mozzie and I go pay for the groceries?"
Taking her advice Peter walked outside and saw a table they could sit at. Neal's tears still had not let up and Peter was getting worried. He never had to deal with crying children as he would hand them off to their parents if they did. But Elizabeth was shopping and there was no one else he could hand Neal off to. Peter sat down and rearranged Neal slightly to try and look at his face, but if anything Neal burrowed deeper into Peters neck.
"Hey buddy, calm down. You are not in trouble, you just scared me when you ran off like that. Stop crying." Peter said softly, his hand never stopped rubbing up and down Neal's back. At Peter's words, Neal started to settle down. His sobs were now just tears and hiccups. When Peter heard this, he thought it was safe to resume talking.
"El was probably right, you are just tired. I know you didn't get much sleep last night. We can go home soon and then you can take a nap. How does that sound kiddo?" It was a testament to how tired Neal was that he did not scoff at taking a nap. They sat there for a few minutes and soon Neal had fell asleep. Peter sat there until he saw Mozzie and Elizabeth leave store and he joined them to walk to the car. He placed the still sleeping Neal in the backseat, before helping Elizabeth load the groceries in the trunk.
"Peter, there are still things we need for Neal and Mozzie." At Peter's expression, she continued. "They are still small enough to need a booster seat, and they will need more clothes soon. Plus, Neal might need pull-ups, which is not something I am about to buy in front of him." Closing the trunk, and sitting in their respective sides she finished up with, "I will need to buy these things after my event today."
Peter was taken aback by her words. This would mean he would be left alone for even longer with the two boys by himself. He had barely survived the last half an hour without El, and they were in the same store as each other. None the less, Peter was not about to go shopping with the boys if he could prevent it. With that thought in mind he started the drive back home.
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A/N BAM over 2,000 words Sorry about the author's note that was in the story itself, but it would have been out of place here. I promise it will be the only one, as I think they usually disrupt the story. And on that note, I am still looking for a beta =) It would help me prevent these long A/N's Thanks for reading! The more I write the more I realize how much fun it is, but it would not be nearly as much fun without all your encouragements! Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Also, you will (hopefully) be happy to note I am planning out this story and in the plans it will at least be 15 chapters. And since I laid out what will happen in each chapter, the chapters might come out faster. Sorry for the wait! Love you all!