So Pit was squaring it off with Samus on Final Destination and Pit was like "daaaamn I'd hit that" but he actually did hit her. Like fucking stabbed her with arrows and shit. Then eventually she revealed her amazing-ass Zero Suit then Pit was like "holy SHIT" then totally like went for her. But he still wanted to "kill" Samus so Pit tried to go hard af on her. Fucking murder in his eyes and everything.
The goddass Palutena then came in and was like "haha NOPE" and totally cockblocked Pit. "what the hell man" Pit said. "lol get rekt scrub" Palutena said as she fucking decimated Pit. Then Samus quickscoped Palutena and Palutena fucking died like the bitch she was. "jfc" Pit said. Pit actually had a reason to be pissed at Samus now other than "oh look you're fighting now, be sure to kill each other" so Pit went soaring fucking eagle at Samus then his flight wore off and Pit went hurdling to the abyss then exploded because everyone in Smash does that for some reason.
Samus though she won put PLOT TWIST here comes Dark fucking Pit. "haha fuckwad I bet you can't even beat my 360 NOSCOPING SKILLZ" he said then unleashed the power of dorites and mtn dew even though this is Nintendo and completely WRECKED SAMUSES SHIT. "haha spawn kill n00b" Dark Pit said. "fuckin mlg shit right there" but then PLOT TWIST Master Hand came in. "shut up ur like 12" Master Hand said. Then Master Hand flicked Dark Pit off the stage and Master Hand ended up winning. How the hell did he win though this isn't classic mode